ginger plum chicken stir fry
im watchin fight club right now. its at the part where Lou is beating Tyler. tyler goes crazt on lou. he like mentally rapes him. i want to do that so bad to particular people unbelieveably bad. the movie is really good. it has A+ exellent direction, the director mean. the actors and acting are also superb. watching it makes me angry. i want to get in a fight, but at the same time i dont. (half the shit in the movie really wouldnt work the way they portreyed it to, not the vandalism, but the psychological stuff. for example when the asian guy is being held up. hmm i was going somewhere with that but i cant remember what i thought damn you ADD.) this movie makes me mad. at the beginning of it, i was thought, i dont like this movie, why am i watching it. now, though, i think damn i want to beat something. i want a punching bag. I either get angry really easy or really hard. i dont know what it depends on. for instance, the other day in advisory, justin was doing something and it annoyed me, so i elbowed him in the knee. he said somethin like whyd you elbow me, then he hit me in the shoulder. i got really pissed at that point. i wasent pissed at him, i was just pissed. i wasnt about to hit him, because, one, hes a best friend and i wouldnt do that, and two he could kick my ass with probably one hit. other times it takes alot to get me mad. the other day, someone ran into me, with out looking back or appoligizing or shit. it seemed like he put his shoulder into it so i went into a sort of fuming pot of being out of it. i walked mindlessly to my class, pondering about what the fuck happened. i got into class and just sat there staring. 'my anger' was building. every time i thought of it, it got worse. yeah eventually i had thought my self into muse of thinking of what wouldve happend if i had taken this route or that pretaining to assult of whoever. at that time my pencil was nearly broken cause i didnt realize was gripping it so hard. finally i concluded that im a pussy that wouldnt do shit, and calmed my self down by staring at the verical chalk board with my head on my desk and eventually falling to sleep. i want a punching bag so i can become more shapely and considerably more agressive. i like being angry. heh i get mad alot at home because i have nothing else to think of or do other than watch movies and listen to music. the things that get me going are, nearly anything else. my parents for one and school for the other. from not having anything to eat, my computer fucking up when im in the midle of something. i need something to beat so i can be less fucking stressed all the time. my dad made a deal? with me. if i sell my bass and amp. im happy to do that because i dont use them any longer. if anyone wants to buy tell me.