DUMB.
during the summer between my 8th and 9th grade years, i went to europe with my english teacher and a bunch of kids. two of these kids were my now ex-boyfriend nick and my buddy sabrina. now see, back then i was extremely naive. i mean, yeah i was only 14, but at that point my opinion on anything sexual was like "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!!!! never. ever. i don't want kids. i don't want sex. it's gross. for real."
sabrina and nick were... well, different. nick was not a virgin. idk about sabrina, but she had a lot to do with all the sexual inuendo flying around at the time. naturally, i laughed at her and nick's sex jokes, but to myself i was saying "self... NEVER HAVE SEX! it sounds ICKY!!!!" yeah, i admit it. i was a prude.
so they thought it would be fun to make a list... a list of a fourteen year old's idea of kinky places to have sex. mind you, we were 14. and dumb. and lame. and 14 (did i already mention that?). so yeah, these are lame. but they make me laugh because i guess at one point we ACTUALLY thought these would be interesting.
so, without further a-do...
KINKY PLACES TO HAVE SEX [according to 3 fourteen year olds] [with commentary]
- elevator
- train tracks (with a train coming) [okay seriously WTF?! dumb, AND dangerous!]
- bathtub [no longer kinky... just standard]
- dressing room while standing up [TOTALLY know someone who's done that]
- port - o - potty [okay, completely unsanitary.]
- airplane bathroom [again, practically standard now days]
- on someone's back while they give you a piggy back ride [and this is fun... HOW?!]
- in a box on the side of the road with a cup in from of it for donations [what, live porn? no thanks]
- halftime show of the superbowl [ SOOOO not legal.]
- in the middle of the stanley cup on the ice [too cold for me]
- at a wedding, on the altar [talk about ruining the best day of someone's life!]
- in the back of a church service [you're going to hell for that one...]
- someone else's pool
- while in bed with the husband holding his hand while someone else has their way [WTF?!]
- public bathroom
- roof
- on top of a moving train
- hotel lobby
- in the back seat of cars at the car show
- front row of the movies
- on top of the eiffel tower
- on top of a car
- tree branch [TOTALLY uncomfortable]
- little brother's tree house
- balcony of playhouse during the lion king [we saw the lion king live while we were in london... that's where this one comes from]
- tanning salon
- our hotel- "ideal hotel" in paris... on the balcony
- inside inverted glass pyramid at the louvre [we went there too]
- rotating doors
- rotating plate [i don't know what that is, but ok]
- air plane wing
- on snow [BRRR!]
- on sex sand
- on dentist chair [can we push the cool buttons that make you go up and down?]
- in a coffin [morbid. eww.]
- massage chair
- in sabrina's bed with her in it [TOTALLY nick's idea]
- upside down
- sky diving [interesting...]
- in space on a space ship [ now THAT would be a neat one... no gravity!]
- on trampoline
- a display bed at jc penney's
- while getting a massage [possible how?]
- pool of noodles [ick]
- pool of ice cream [ick again]
- principal's office
- president's desk
-workplace
- on airplane in overhead compartment
- on a news desk
- on news
- in porn [isn't that what USUALLY happens in porn?]
- at the playboy manshion [i know that isn't how you spell it, but that is how nick wrote it and i found it entertaining]
- in the mcdonald's ball pit
- in the tubes at mcdonald [how many of these have my friends done? geez!]
- pool of jello
just wanna remind you... WE WERE 14 AND STUPID!