Oh good, let's talk about money
So we all know about me passing grad school.
For those not in the know, I was accepted to go to the City University of New York's Journalism program. Yes in New York, the concrete jungle where dreams are made off.
What that means is, I need money. The tuition alone costs P1.3 million, which is of course P2 million lower than Columbia which once again has rejected me. Them fools.
I've applied to scholarships of course but the thing is I may or may not get them. I failed to get a Fulbright and I might not get one of the scholarships I applied for. The other scholarship I feel won't give me the full $10,000 I was hoping for. I may need to apply for a loan which means I really need to get a job after I get my MA to pay for it.
What makes me really fucking depressed is the way my parents, especially my mom, has been acting about the whole thing. Yes they're proud. Yes they're happy. But they won't even help solve my money problems. I don't expect them to pay for it, we can't afford it. But I would like a little support, maybe even a fake promise to pay for part of my schooling or even just fucking plane fare.
But noooo, my mom had to pull out my brother's getting married card. Her whole tone when we last talked was "well you know your brother's getting married", "we have to think about the wedding", "what will happen to the wedding, can you get back from New York" and my personal favorite "why don't you wait until next year?"
Well fuck you mom and fuck you brother's wedding. I'm supposed to hold off on my dreams because he's getting married?! I don't think I'm ever going to get the same opportunity again?!
What hurts really is that my mom is basically telling me to choose for her, support me or support my brother. I honestly think she can do both. Like I said, I'm not asking them to pay for my MA. I just want to feel like they support me. Like they're really really happy that I finally get closer to what I've always dreamed of. I've wanted to study for my MA for such a long time. I jumped into the work force hoping to get the needed experience and some cash to help defray tuition costs. It's like she wants to help my brother out because he lost his job before he gets married and I'm okay with that. But I don't feel like she wants to help me out when I'm also in trouble.
I just want her to help me talk to my aunt to be my co-signer for a US loan. I want her to help me look for relatives who live in Manhattan who'll let me stay with them for a few months.
I just want help. And I'm not getting it from my family. And it fucking hurts.
In other news, my extended family, particularly one of my aunts, will finally get her wish. I have a panel interview with the "family newspaper". I don't know if I'll get the job, or if I really want it, but hey.
*Title from Downton Abbey's deliciously sarcastic Lady Violet Crawley
For those not in the know, I was accepted to go to the City University of New York's Journalism program. Yes in New York, the concrete jungle where dreams are made off.
What that means is, I need money. The tuition alone costs P1.3 million, which is of course P2 million lower than Columbia which once again has rejected me. Them fools.
I've applied to scholarships of course but the thing is I may or may not get them. I failed to get a Fulbright and I might not get one of the scholarships I applied for. The other scholarship I feel won't give me the full $10,000 I was hoping for. I may need to apply for a loan which means I really need to get a job after I get my MA to pay for it.
What makes me really fucking depressed is the way my parents, especially my mom, has been acting about the whole thing. Yes they're proud. Yes they're happy. But they won't even help solve my money problems. I don't expect them to pay for it, we can't afford it. But I would like a little support, maybe even a fake promise to pay for part of my schooling or even just fucking plane fare.
But noooo, my mom had to pull out my brother's getting married card. Her whole tone when we last talked was "well you know your brother's getting married", "we have to think about the wedding", "what will happen to the wedding, can you get back from New York" and my personal favorite "why don't you wait until next year?"
Well fuck you mom and fuck you brother's wedding. I'm supposed to hold off on my dreams because he's getting married?! I don't think I'm ever going to get the same opportunity again?!
What hurts really is that my mom is basically telling me to choose for her, support me or support my brother. I honestly think she can do both. Like I said, I'm not asking them to pay for my MA. I just want to feel like they support me. Like they're really really happy that I finally get closer to what I've always dreamed of. I've wanted to study for my MA for such a long time. I jumped into the work force hoping to get the needed experience and some cash to help defray tuition costs. It's like she wants to help my brother out because he lost his job before he gets married and I'm okay with that. But I don't feel like she wants to help me out when I'm also in trouble.
I just want her to help me talk to my aunt to be my co-signer for a US loan. I want her to help me look for relatives who live in Manhattan who'll let me stay with them for a few months.
I just want help. And I'm not getting it from my family. And it fucking hurts.
In other news, my extended family, particularly one of my aunts, will finally get her wish. I have a panel interview with the "family newspaper". I don't know if I'll get the job, or if I really want it, but hey.
*Title from Downton Abbey's deliciously sarcastic Lady Violet Crawley