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I'm starting to wonder if my bad luck is catching...? my family life sucks, bad stuff always happens when I'm home...maybe the whole thing is because of my bad luck? I'm starting to wonder if my whole life is screwed up and will always remain screwed up. There's never been a normal year for my family. There's never been a year without something bad happening. There's never any peace and quiet.
I should be used to the chaos and I should have let the anger die with the rest of the emotions. Then there wouldn't be a problem at all. What's the point of emotion anyways? It all just seems so pointless. And my parents seem to have added me to their "worry about this child" list. I was probably the only one that wasn't on that list from the start, and now I'm on it because I couldn't keep my big mouth shut.
I want to go back to being invisible. At least then, they wouldn't tell me stuff I don't want to know. They could ignore my existance and I could be happily ignored. My siblings cause enough worry. I don't want to be another worry. It's funny, now that I've actually told them I'm angry, they seem to see anger is every move I make. They keep talking to me, and won't leave me alone. They keep telling me stuff and theorizing what's wrong with me. If I'd kept my big mouth shut and let all the emotion die, then I could have always been invisible. The child to forget. The child without problems.
So, I've decided I won't tell them anything else. I'll keep my mouth shut and work out my own problems. Maybe then they'll forget I exist and I can go back to being invisible. I havn't needed their "emotional support" since I was a little kid, I sure as hell don't want it now.
I should be used to the chaos and I should have let the anger die with the rest of the emotions. Then there wouldn't be a problem at all. What's the point of emotion anyways? It all just seems so pointless. And my parents seem to have added me to their "worry about this child" list. I was probably the only one that wasn't on that list from the start, and now I'm on it because I couldn't keep my big mouth shut.
I want to go back to being invisible. At least then, they wouldn't tell me stuff I don't want to know. They could ignore my existance and I could be happily ignored. My siblings cause enough worry. I don't want to be another worry. It's funny, now that I've actually told them I'm angry, they seem to see anger is every move I make. They keep talking to me, and won't leave me alone. They keep telling me stuff and theorizing what's wrong with me. If I'd kept my big mouth shut and let all the emotion die, then I could have always been invisible. The child to forget. The child without problems.
So, I've decided I won't tell them anything else. I'll keep my mouth shut and work out my own problems. Maybe then they'll forget I exist and I can go back to being invisible. I havn't needed their "emotional support" since I was a little kid, I sure as hell don't want it now.