Scaring the local wildlife....
If anyone notices any extremely unnerved waterfowl in the Northern suburbs this week, that was me. I did that. (NO! Not that.) I went to Rosh hashanah Services with my parents yesterday, and knowing that the synagogue was right by the Chattahoochee River Outdoor Recreation Area, that it was going to be great weather, and that I would be spending the morning constricted by a tie and monkey suit and such, I decided to bring a change of clothes and after services, went for a run down by the river.
What followed was the most hideous, horrific, anxiety-inducing interaction between man and nature. The birds and fauna were fleeing in terror before me as I lurched and stumbled and puked up sweat, snot, and noodle kugel all over the running trail. It was fugly. It felt like I had come up and touched nature inappropriately in the swimsuit area.
The sad thing is, I run much farther and much easier most days on the treadmill at my gym watching episodes of the Wire or Entourage on my iPod. It must have been the fresh air and scenery that had me choking on my own health. I just can't handle nature.
Who am I kidding, it was the kugel. Aileen's right, we jews eat like cats with all that dairy and I was just coughing up a hairball. Anyhow...expect increased bear attacks and birds flying into glass doors and jet engines for the next week until they've had a chance to recover.
What followed was the most hideous, horrific, anxiety-inducing interaction between man and nature. The birds and fauna were fleeing in terror before me as I lurched and stumbled and puked up sweat, snot, and noodle kugel all over the running trail. It was fugly. It felt like I had come up and touched nature inappropriately in the swimsuit area.
The sad thing is, I run much farther and much easier most days on the treadmill at my gym watching episodes of the Wire or Entourage on my iPod. It must have been the fresh air and scenery that had me choking on my own health. I just can't handle nature.
Who am I kidding, it was the kugel. Aileen's right, we jews eat like cats with all that dairy and I was just coughing up a hairball. Anyhow...expect increased bear attacks and birds flying into glass doors and jet engines for the next week until they've had a chance to recover.