(no subject)
its that time of year, where winter celebration is so close i can smell it.
its like trying to catch a fish, you wait, and wait... and wait some more. but when you catch it, you get such a sensation as indescribable as falling in love or having a child. then, reluctantly you let the fish back in the water.. so that maybe next year you will be able to catch that same one.. but leave the situation having learned something.
far off metaphor? w.e. anyways.. its that time of the month before winter cel that i start packing. hah.. 2 weeks early.
yea, i feel a little bad.. i mean on of the main things im looking forward to is one specific person that i know i can be myself around and belong.... BUT this year... ive truely lost myself. the reason its gone by so fast is because im no longer in my head, i live outside my body watching as i grow old and inch towards death.
16...
responsibilities drag me down with a conscience to match. my morals have flown away with the migrating geese and are unknown to these parts.
but still.. i hold on by a thread to the one thing i know i always can. when things go good, bad, or just plain.. well plain. still.. i look to find where god stands in all of it.
behind my back.. helping me make decisions, or in front of me.. preparing the way for my awkward steps into adulthood.
boys, horses, money, friends, family, school and politics... in all of these elements i see god at work.
when i go to winter cel.. my goal is not to figure out where god is in my life.. because i already know its by my side.
but what i do want to do.. is figure out where i am in my life.
finding morals when you are 16 is a nearly impossible task. but nearly is the key word there.
id like to leave you all with a little motto of mine: an eye for an eye leaves the world blind.
its like trying to catch a fish, you wait, and wait... and wait some more. but when you catch it, you get such a sensation as indescribable as falling in love or having a child. then, reluctantly you let the fish back in the water.. so that maybe next year you will be able to catch that same one.. but leave the situation having learned something.
far off metaphor? w.e. anyways.. its that time of the month before winter cel that i start packing. hah.. 2 weeks early.
yea, i feel a little bad.. i mean on of the main things im looking forward to is one specific person that i know i can be myself around and belong.... BUT this year... ive truely lost myself. the reason its gone by so fast is because im no longer in my head, i live outside my body watching as i grow old and inch towards death.
16...
responsibilities drag me down with a conscience to match. my morals have flown away with the migrating geese and are unknown to these parts.
but still.. i hold on by a thread to the one thing i know i always can. when things go good, bad, or just plain.. well plain. still.. i look to find where god stands in all of it.
behind my back.. helping me make decisions, or in front of me.. preparing the way for my awkward steps into adulthood.
boys, horses, money, friends, family, school and politics... in all of these elements i see god at work.
when i go to winter cel.. my goal is not to figure out where god is in my life.. because i already know its by my side.
but what i do want to do.. is figure out where i am in my life.
finding morals when you are 16 is a nearly impossible task. but nearly is the key word there.
id like to leave you all with a little motto of mine: an eye for an eye leaves the world blind.