a long time coming....

[baldarsolaris]

so much has been happening (mostly in my head) that i haven't been able to focus long enough to write it all down. where to begin? well, i don't think i've written this in here yet, but i'm having chest surgery june 20th!!...that's not even 2 days away. i have had to jump over so many hurdles just to get here. sometime in february after a 30 min conversation with the scheduling woman at my surgereon's office, i was given a pre-op date of june 29th and a tentative surgery date of july 3rd, but she never gave me times. after about 3 weeks i hadn't heard from her so i called to confirm and that's when i jumped my first hurdle. she told me she couldn't schedule my surgery date cuz it had been over a year and dr. johnson wanted to see me again. now that's completely understandable, but then she went on to say that i couldn't schedule a pre-op apt till i have a surgery scheduled and i can't do either until i go see her. so after much discussion with my main point being that if i could get the dr. johnson apt and the pre-op apt on the same day it would be so much easier on me cuz my mom would have to take me and it's 3 1\2 hrs away. finally she agreed to do that and gave me the days june 11th and june 20th and told me she would call me back with the times. a week later she calls and said i need a dr.'s note clearing me 4 surgery. so i got that done mailed it in and then i got another call about a week later. she told me that dr. johnson thought the letter my dr. wrote was too brief and vague and wanted me to get cleared for surgery by a pulmonologist. this was the second huge hurdle i needed to jump. first i called my dr. here in portland and he referred me to a pulmonologist. after not hearing from anyone for a lil over a week i called back and was told that the referral woman had been in touch with the pulmonologist and i would be contacted as soon as they had an opening. well i wanted to get an apt asap so i called my doc in nh and was able to get one for june 18th. i then called dr. johnson's nurse back to tell her i was able to get an apt. she said that was great, but then called me back later on and said it wouldn't work because it was only 2 days before my surgery and there wouldn't be enough time to get the test results back. so since i still hadn't heard from the portland pulmonologist, mea decided that he would drive down there and bust some heads. cuz he's awesome like that. he ended up getting me an apt for june 11th, but sadly i already had an apt with dr. johnson and there's no way i could be in portland and springfield, ma at the same time. after that phone call i honestly literally spent the next 2 days on the phone for hours trying to get an appointment that was at least a week before my surgery. finally, this past friday i was about to give up after dr. johnson's nurse gave me until the end of the day to get an apt or i'd have to push back my surgery when around 2pm bay state pulmonolgy called me with an apt for that coming tuesday at 2. i was/am so happy and relieved. i've been planning my entire summer around a june 20th surgery date. not to mention i've had my heart set on this date for months. so then, this past monday, june 11th, i went for my apt with dr. johnson at 10:30am and then a 1:45 apt with preadmission testing. the first apt sucked. she made me feel completely hopeless about the situation because she was concerned about me being intebated and how being on narcodics can affect my breathing. her attitude was poor and i left the office in tears. the 2nd apt went great. the anesthesiologist i met with said she didn't understand why dr. johnson was so overly concerned. she explained to me the type of intebation she would recomend and said i was good to go. i really hope i'm done jumping these hurdles of frustration and that everything goes smoothly from now on. i can't believe this is less than 2 days away. it's been a long time coming.

ok, enough of that. despite all this crazy frustrating bull shit...there has been some good stuff. i have a new boyfriend. he's wonderful and sweet and we have great times together. maybe i'll post some pics soon. this summer is going to be a lil crappy for us because we are going to be apart so much, but he's moving into the dorm in the fall so that will be great. i'm starting to rebuild my friendship with steve which is nice cuz i've really missed him and the kids. i got to spend a lil time with them at pride.

ok, i'm off to sleep...sooooo tired. 2 more nights i go to sleep with boobs.