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Sometimes, I wish I could drive out to the middle of nowhere. Just find a place without another human being within miles. I would just find a place to sit and think. I feel like when I get a chance to just organize my thoughts, I find out who I really am. Like sometimes during the day, when everything is going on around me, it seems like I mask certain feelings or emotions. I put them away because there is no time to deal with them at that moment. Then at night, I get a chance to see who I really am. Most of the time these thinking sessions dont turn out in a very positive way. I come away from them less happy than I was before them. I guess a lot of the time, the truth does make us sadder than a lie might. And maybe a year ago I would have prefered a lie that made me smile. But I guess now, I've learned to be honest with myself and absorb any sadness that may come. Happiness cant always be reality.