Remember that first fairytale outline of my new animation project? It's off the table. I was wondering why I hadn't seen a new story-version yet. And I have to say, the new storyline seems more compact and easier to animate without voice-acting. The two of you clearly already thought about this a lot.
the tree house of a rival clan leader to bring his beautiful daughter Why can't Kaula just be a beautiful girl? First off, the difference in clans doesn't seem very important, so there is no point in introducing rivalry between them. (Yes, there is a clan war in the end, but the casual viewer may simply interpret the fighting as a civil war). So it is more a general thought of how important rivalry is. And second, why must she be the daughter of an important person? I understand the advantage of that: it may mean that she has enough spare time to go and do things on her own, like building a boat. But as a disadvantage; the current 'bad' people are all workers and the only 'good' person, who knows what's going on, is royalty. So unless you show Bad Daddy (or any other triumphant clan-leader gloating over the statues), it seems as if only the simple workers are too stupid to know what's going on. Now I have to admit that this is only a subtle thing and may not be very important in deciding your story. But it was just something that occurred to me.
Once the kids are out of frame, however, the clan reaches the last tree and cut it down with a great sense of triumph. Then they all fall quiet and look around with a ‘now what’ feeling The trees are only a means in making the statues, there is nothing triumphant about the cutting itself. I mean, it's not like they hate trees, they just want to use them. And there's no point in spending energy in cutting, when you don't use them. So to me they would only cut down the last tree, if they'd need just one more log for completing the statue. About which they would then be triumphant.
seeing the odd face statues on the deserted Island with a stupefied expression His surprise would be "where do these statues come from?" and not "oh woo, look at what these people have done to nature". His thoughts do not agree with the message of the animation. Actually, the opposite may happen. For the Polynesian may have gotten themselves killed, but they will be remembered forever for their grand accomplishments.
As you can see I have much less to say about this story outline than the previous one. And that's because this one already 'works'. So there's not much left to say. I think the concept is interesting and it will undoubtedly look very pretty.
Why can't Kaula just be a beautiful girl? First off, the difference in clans doesn't seem very important, so there is no point in introducing rivalry between them. (Yes, there is a clan war in the end, but the casual viewer may simply interpret the fighting as a civil war).
Actually a very good point. Having a specific class distinction between the boy and the girl can mean you have to tell a whole extra story that might not contribute much to the main theme anyway. The rivalry that's going on between the different clans, however is something I like to include, why else did they put about 1000 statues in a matter of a few centuries on an island that small with just a couple of thousand inhabitants?
it seems as if only the simple workers are too stupid to know what's going on.
It's important that there is a scene where the clan leaders encourage the crowd to make more head statues for metaphorical sake, yes. Because yes, many of our leaders seem even more deluded then the general public...
His surprise would be "where do these statues come from?" and not "oh woo, look at what these people have done to nature". His thoughts do not agree with the message of the animation. Actually, the opposite may happen. For the Polynesian may have gotten themselves killed, but they will be remembered forever for their grand accomplishments.
That is a valid concern. In the journals of Jacob Roggeveen however, he was equally baffled by the fact there was virtually no vegetation to speak of on the Island as of the statues. Since most islands like it are usually covered in rain forest, especially back in the 18th century.
why else did they put about 1000 statues in a matter of a few centuries on an island that small with just a couple of thousand inhabitants?
Because they can? Because they think they will receive blessings from the Gods and/or ancestors? Because leaders always like to build big things for their ego? But thinking more about it, the rivalry is a good idea. I particularly like it, because of the "keeping up with the neighbours"-concept, which is still relevant today, even though clan-wars aren't. Basically the concept means that people aren't unhappy when they have little; they are unhappy when they have less than their neighbours. So people want to have a car and a tv at least as big as the rest has and preferably even bigger. In the story it naturally means having as many and as big a statues as the other clans.
I was wondering why I hadn't seen a new story-version yet. And I have to say, the new storyline seems more compact and easier to animate without voice-acting. The two of you clearly already thought about this a lot.
the tree house of a rival clan leader to bring his beautiful daughter
Why can't Kaula just be a beautiful girl? First off, the difference in clans doesn't seem very important, so there is no point in introducing rivalry between them. (Yes, there is a clan war in the end, but the casual viewer may simply interpret the fighting as a civil war). So it is more a general thought of how important rivalry is. And second, why must she be the daughter of an important person? I understand the advantage of that: it may mean that she has enough spare time to go and do things on her own, like building a boat. But as a disadvantage; the current 'bad' people are all workers and the only 'good' person, who knows what's going on, is royalty. So unless you show Bad Daddy (or any other triumphant clan-leader gloating over the statues), it seems as if only the simple workers are too stupid to know what's going on. Now I have to admit that this is only a subtle thing and may not be very important in deciding your story. But it was just something that occurred to me.
Once the kids are out of frame, however, the clan reaches the last tree and cut it down with a great sense of triumph. Then they all fall quiet and look around with a ‘now what’ feeling
The trees are only a means in making the statues, there is nothing triumphant about the cutting itself. I mean, it's not like they hate trees, they just want to use them. And there's no point in spending energy in cutting, when you don't use them. So to me they would only cut down the last tree, if they'd need just one more log for completing the statue. About which they would then be triumphant.
seeing the odd face statues on the deserted Island with a stupefied expression
His surprise would be "where do these statues come from?" and not "oh woo, look at what these people have done to nature". His thoughts do not agree with the message of the animation. Actually, the opposite may happen. For the Polynesian may have gotten themselves killed, but they will be remembered forever for their grand accomplishments.
As you can see I have much less to say about this story outline than the previous one. And that's because this one already 'works'. So there's not much left to say. I think the concept is interesting and it will undoubtedly look very pretty.
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Actually a very good point. Having a specific class distinction between the boy and the girl can mean you have to tell a whole extra story that might not contribute much to the main theme anyway.
The rivalry that's going on between the different clans, however is something I like to include, why else did they put about 1000 statues in a matter of a few centuries on an island that small with just a couple of thousand inhabitants?
it seems as if only the simple workers are too stupid to know what's going on.
It's important that there is a scene where the clan leaders encourage the crowd to make more head statues for metaphorical sake, yes. Because yes, many of our leaders seem even more deluded then the general public...
His surprise would be "where do these statues come from?" and not "oh woo, look at what these people have done to nature". His thoughts do not agree with the message of the animation. Actually, the opposite may happen. For the Polynesian may have gotten themselves killed, but they will be remembered forever for their grand accomplishments.
That is a valid concern. In the journals of Jacob Roggeveen however, he was equally baffled by the fact there was virtually no vegetation to speak of on the Island as of the statues. Since most islands like it are usually covered in rain forest, especially back in the 18th century.
Reply
Because they can? Because they think they will receive blessings from the Gods and/or ancestors? Because leaders always like to build big things for their ego?
But thinking more about it, the rivalry is a good idea. I particularly like it, because of the "keeping up with the neighbours"-concept, which is still relevant today, even though clan-wars aren't.
Basically the concept means that people aren't unhappy when they have little; they are unhappy when they have less than their neighbours. So people want to have a car and a tv at least as big as the rest has and preferably even bigger. In the story it naturally means having as many and as big a statues as the other clans.
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