whatever it's all so goddamned hopeless
I'm desperately searching the list for a good show but they're all in mid january and I need one now!
----------------------
wednesday december 31 (this one is close!)
Sleepytime Gorilla Museum
Dredg
Brian Kenney Fresno
Bottom of the Hill a/a $20 8:30pm/10pm **
---------------------
friday january 16th -
The Velvet Teen
The Plus Ones
Addicted To Fiction (N.Y.)
Squab (L.A.)
Four Days Late
Gilman a/a $5 8pm *** @
---------------------
saturday january 17th-
Wrangler Brutes (L.A.)
Jewdriver
The Shemps (N.Y.)
The Orphans (L.A.)
Onion Flavored Rings
Gilman a/a $5 8pm *** @
--------------------
saturday january 10
This Is My Fist!
Ye Olde Buttfuck (FL)
Chased & Smashed (OR)
Gilman a/a $5 8pm *** @
The gilman is having quality shows once more, this is a good thing. Want to come with me to any of these? Get ahold of me via email, aim or commenting. whatever suits you best. I really need to get out of this hotel.
All I do is watch my little sister all day in this room that now smells like dead fish, I cater to the wench's every need. I feel bad for myself. I have stomach aches. I listen to Kris' versioin of karma police (completely amazing). I think about what I'm doing wrong. I think about how I wish I could read a damned book, or sleep, but I can do neither with the running and screaming and demanding family and the ever constant blasting TV. I pop a few excedrin every few hours to keep from ripping my face off. I talk to people who tell me they love me and that things will get better. Wasn't that my role? What happened? Am I being strong by staying and fighting this or am I a loser for dealing with it. Making myself miserable and hating myself for somehow giving myself this situation. FUCK. shit happens. A few days ago I was thankful for this chaotic life, I mean, I'm learning about life in the most harsh hands-on ways. No better teacher than experience, right? I was saying to myself in the shower "goddamnit you stupid fucking world just beat me! beat the fucking shit out of me! show me what you're like! give me all the knowledge you can...give it to me in the harshest manner I DO NOT CARE ANYMORE I JUST FUCKING DONT IM READY FOR IT!!!" I wondered if when I'm older if things are going to be this jerky and 'enlightening'. I can't imagine myself old. I'v always imagined myself dead in my mid 20's. And once again here I am talking to this thing when all I want is to hug and cry all over someone and have them hug me so tight that they break all my ribs and I just want to sob my life into their ears and just get out of here, give someone special what's left in me. Maybe they can put it to better use than what my negative shitty worthless mindset has done with it. one day I'm going to just fall off a bridge because I won't have anything in me telling me not to. I'm not going to jump. I'll just pathetically fall, my knees will give up on working because it's been so useless all along and I'll coincidentally be moping along a bridge. I'll be afraid but in the end I'll probably be glad I finally got it over with, and then with my luck my earthly mission won't be fucking fullfilled and I'll be sent right back as a stupid disgusting human except I'll be rich or something awful and I'll have to deal with being an asshole on top of everything or something. jesus. I'm going to go write in one of the 2 diaries I've gotten so far for x-mas. Both are totally beautiful and both people who gave them are the best I could ask for. One of these days I'll give you all those tortured pages.
<3
----------------------
wednesday december 31 (this one is close!)
Sleepytime Gorilla Museum
Dredg
Brian Kenney Fresno
Bottom of the Hill a/a $20 8:30pm/10pm **
---------------------
friday january 16th -
The Velvet Teen
The Plus Ones
Addicted To Fiction (N.Y.)
Squab (L.A.)
Four Days Late
Gilman a/a $5 8pm *** @
---------------------
saturday january 17th-
Wrangler Brutes (L.A.)
Jewdriver
The Shemps (N.Y.)
The Orphans (L.A.)
Onion Flavored Rings
Gilman a/a $5 8pm *** @
--------------------
saturday january 10
This Is My Fist!
Ye Olde Buttfuck (FL)
Chased & Smashed (OR)
Gilman a/a $5 8pm *** @
The gilman is having quality shows once more, this is a good thing. Want to come with me to any of these? Get ahold of me via email, aim or commenting. whatever suits you best. I really need to get out of this hotel.
All I do is watch my little sister all day in this room that now smells like dead fish, I cater to the wench's every need. I feel bad for myself. I have stomach aches. I listen to Kris' versioin of karma police (completely amazing). I think about what I'm doing wrong. I think about how I wish I could read a damned book, or sleep, but I can do neither with the running and screaming and demanding family and the ever constant blasting TV. I pop a few excedrin every few hours to keep from ripping my face off. I talk to people who tell me they love me and that things will get better. Wasn't that my role? What happened? Am I being strong by staying and fighting this or am I a loser for dealing with it. Making myself miserable and hating myself for somehow giving myself this situation. FUCK. shit happens. A few days ago I was thankful for this chaotic life, I mean, I'm learning about life in the most harsh hands-on ways. No better teacher than experience, right? I was saying to myself in the shower "goddamnit you stupid fucking world just beat me! beat the fucking shit out of me! show me what you're like! give me all the knowledge you can...give it to me in the harshest manner I DO NOT CARE ANYMORE I JUST FUCKING DONT IM READY FOR IT!!!" I wondered if when I'm older if things are going to be this jerky and 'enlightening'. I can't imagine myself old. I'v always imagined myself dead in my mid 20's. And once again here I am talking to this thing when all I want is to hug and cry all over someone and have them hug me so tight that they break all my ribs and I just want to sob my life into their ears and just get out of here, give someone special what's left in me. Maybe they can put it to better use than what my negative shitty worthless mindset has done with it. one day I'm going to just fall off a bridge because I won't have anything in me telling me not to. I'm not going to jump. I'll just pathetically fall, my knees will give up on working because it's been so useless all along and I'll coincidentally be moping along a bridge. I'll be afraid but in the end I'll probably be glad I finally got it over with, and then with my luck my earthly mission won't be fucking fullfilled and I'll be sent right back as a stupid disgusting human except I'll be rich or something awful and I'll have to deal with being an asshole on top of everything or something. jesus. I'm going to go write in one of the 2 diaries I've gotten so far for x-mas. Both are totally beautiful and both people who gave them are the best I could ask for. One of these days I'll give you all those tortured pages.
<3