(no subject)
Now going on the THIRD day of NO SLEEP. Seriously - no nap, no nothing.
I'm going to adjust my Pred tapering yet again so I'm not taking any in the late evening, hoping for the chance to sleep. As soon as I thought I was getting the feeling last night I rolled over and waited to go to sleep, but nada. Now I know I HAVE to get the actual nod-off once before rolling over.
Part of the problem is my head starts running eight to sixteen bars of the same song over and over and over again when I try to go to sleep and I can't stop the music from playing. I am unable to think of anything else to clear my mind because then I find myself thinking about all the crap still needing to get done for the move. So my strategy now is to curl up in front of the TV with the sound very low and that sound helps disrupt the music in my head. The music tries to start up and the voices break it up.
I took a Nytquil last night in hopes the sleep aid would help but it only made me feel really bad and dried me up so badly I was coughing due to the dryness in my throat.
Monday I tossed almost ALL my flyers, programs, librettos, scripts, artwork and papers that show I did anything in theatre today. Just up and dumped it all into the trash without even really looking at it. Another large chunk of my life gone forever.
I wish I could have scrapbooked the stuff but there IS no time to cull and a move to get done pronto so it is all gone, for good, with a LOT of regrets, but it had to be done.
And in some ways, it was a lifting of a burden, removing weight keeping me down, giving me more freedom to strike out to new directions.
Then I regretted it, so rat brought the bags back in tonight and I went through them pretty quickly and filled half a small box with memories. Some of things I expected to find in there weren't there, which was odd for me. Oh well.
I'll be happy when this move is over but it's just a transition. As soon as we turn in the keys we turn around and contact the realtor and start looking for a house in earnest.
I find I'm looking forward to having my own home and I have unburdened myself from a lot of objects to move more easily toward that goal.
Monday I was SERIOUSLY BLESSED with three people helping me: kyrenea, doctor_terry and kyrenea's friend, who I call the rare diamond since he lifted and moved the heavy boxes to the staging area and helped sort things. Four and three-quarters bookcases got packed and stacked in the corners. The hall closet/shelving got packed and sorted and staged for the walkover. That is, stuff that needs to be hand-carried like towels and sheets were sorted and stacked so they are carried over to the same space in the other apartment.
Note: the apartments are mirror images so it has the same long hall shelving closet as the current one.
A chair went to Goodwill. Lots more arts and crafts stuff was sent away with kyrenea, who will come by to get even more Tuesday. She tells me about how happy the people are she gives my stuff to, like the craft supplies to the day care who had to cut their luxury budget just to survive the economy. That makes me feel good - that my bad hoarding habit is now benefiting people. It's not technically 'pay it forward' but I feel relieved my things will be used.
I'm going to adjust my Pred tapering yet again so I'm not taking any in the late evening, hoping for the chance to sleep. As soon as I thought I was getting the feeling last night I rolled over and waited to go to sleep, but nada. Now I know I HAVE to get the actual nod-off once before rolling over.
Part of the problem is my head starts running eight to sixteen bars of the same song over and over and over again when I try to go to sleep and I can't stop the music from playing. I am unable to think of anything else to clear my mind because then I find myself thinking about all the crap still needing to get done for the move. So my strategy now is to curl up in front of the TV with the sound very low and that sound helps disrupt the music in my head. The music tries to start up and the voices break it up.
I took a Nytquil last night in hopes the sleep aid would help but it only made me feel really bad and dried me up so badly I was coughing due to the dryness in my throat.
Monday I tossed almost ALL my flyers, programs, librettos, scripts, artwork and papers that show I did anything in theatre today. Just up and dumped it all into the trash without even really looking at it. Another large chunk of my life gone forever.
I wish I could have scrapbooked the stuff but there IS no time to cull and a move to get done pronto so it is all gone, for good, with a LOT of regrets, but it had to be done.
And in some ways, it was a lifting of a burden, removing weight keeping me down, giving me more freedom to strike out to new directions.
Then I regretted it, so rat brought the bags back in tonight and I went through them pretty quickly and filled half a small box with memories. Some of things I expected to find in there weren't there, which was odd for me. Oh well.
I'll be happy when this move is over but it's just a transition. As soon as we turn in the keys we turn around and contact the realtor and start looking for a house in earnest.
I find I'm looking forward to having my own home and I have unburdened myself from a lot of objects to move more easily toward that goal.
Monday I was SERIOUSLY BLESSED with three people helping me: kyrenea, doctor_terry and kyrenea's friend, who I call the rare diamond since he lifted and moved the heavy boxes to the staging area and helped sort things. Four and three-quarters bookcases got packed and stacked in the corners. The hall closet/shelving got packed and sorted and staged for the walkover. That is, stuff that needs to be hand-carried like towels and sheets were sorted and stacked so they are carried over to the same space in the other apartment.
Note: the apartments are mirror images so it has the same long hall shelving closet as the current one.
A chair went to Goodwill. Lots more arts and crafts stuff was sent away with kyrenea, who will come by to get even more Tuesday. She tells me about how happy the people are she gives my stuff to, like the craft supplies to the day care who had to cut their luxury budget just to survive the economy. That makes me feel good - that my bad hoarding habit is now benefiting people. It's not technically 'pay it forward' but I feel relieved my things will be used.