(no subject)
I'm somehow still logged in on this computer.
Things are interesting and not.
New things-
I left Apple Inc.
Almost a year ago, before I started interviewing for interesting stuff, I told my boss's boss I was going to look elsewhere. She hinted things would change and yadda yadda if i could stick it out. I said I deserved a boss that I wasn't ashamed of. I want a team I trust to output quality. She agreed. Tried to tell me things would change. asked if i would consider staying to complete high profile project. I did. Then they asked me to stay for the next one. I agreed with understanding that I would still be looking elsewhere. Got large bonus check. blah blah anyway
I decided to quit.
I was putting in too many hours and too much brain to have anything left for myself.
The company is amazing. The benefits are great. Everyone thinks I'm batshit crazy for leaving.
When I was young, around 10, maybe... I wanted to write a novel, I wanted to design clothing, I wanted to- I EXPECTED to do so much. It maybe wasn't that I had high standards, but that I had too many ideas. My head was always so full.
I don't know what happened. I know that I have been crippled by financial anxiety. I know that for years I daydreamed about having money- purely so I could create things and take care of others. Help others create things.
I don't have a lot of money. I have a credit card with a limit that will see me through a frugal year.
I want to make the kind of games that helped me hide from the world that I didn't want to be in. I want to write books that make people feel less alone.
I want to make things that are visually pleasing.
Leaving Apple didn't help me sort out what's next for me. If anything, it complicated it.
I can do anything, now? but where does one start, with that.
Things are interesting and not.
New things-
I left Apple Inc.
Almost a year ago, before I started interviewing for interesting stuff, I told my boss's boss I was going to look elsewhere. She hinted things would change and yadda yadda if i could stick it out. I said I deserved a boss that I wasn't ashamed of. I want a team I trust to output quality. She agreed. Tried to tell me things would change. asked if i would consider staying to complete high profile project. I did. Then they asked me to stay for the next one. I agreed with understanding that I would still be looking elsewhere. Got large bonus check. blah blah anyway
I decided to quit.
I was putting in too many hours and too much brain to have anything left for myself.
The company is amazing. The benefits are great. Everyone thinks I'm batshit crazy for leaving.
When I was young, around 10, maybe... I wanted to write a novel, I wanted to design clothing, I wanted to- I EXPECTED to do so much. It maybe wasn't that I had high standards, but that I had too many ideas. My head was always so full.
I don't know what happened. I know that I have been crippled by financial anxiety. I know that for years I daydreamed about having money- purely so I could create things and take care of others. Help others create things.
I don't have a lot of money. I have a credit card with a limit that will see me through a frugal year.
I want to make the kind of games that helped me hide from the world that I didn't want to be in. I want to write books that make people feel less alone.
I want to make things that are visually pleasing.
Leaving Apple didn't help me sort out what's next for me. If anything, it complicated it.
I can do anything, now? but where does one start, with that.