another horrible day
Well today was one of my most horrible days. I had another fight with my dad. And about school again.
He asked me again today: You're really quitting school, and I was like: Yes I told you before and I am not changning my mind. And then he started to get angry and saying many hurtful things like: You are a big failure, you will achieve nothing in life...you are nothing without education, how can you manage, I will not support you anymore and so on and so on.........
It really hurt my feelings and made me sad again. And it lowers my selfesteem. I feel like the worst person ever when I hear things like that. And if he continues I will just start hating him.....
And if that wasn't enough, my grandmother called and said she needed to go to the ER. Its something wrong with her heart. And both of these things came at once, and now I am really not feeling so good. And just when I started to feel better after you guys gave me your nice comments and dad needed to bring it back up and made everything worse again. Why does everything have to be so difficult. And he said like: if you don't study, get a job fast or I will kick you out. I don't think he means it because he wants me to live her for a long time....but he was so angry. But seriously the way I feel now, I want to move out as fast as possible. And I want a job but its not so easy to find. I will go with my friend this week and look for a job in a kindergarden or something....anything will do..I just need money so I can move out once and for all. I really want to be independent now and take care of myself.
Ok sorry guys for a sad entry again....but I needed to write this now. I am of doing some french...
PS: The pics of Jae from the Paris book made me feel better.....OM MAN what can I do without him...I would fail. He just means so much to me. How can we survive without music?!!!
He asked me again today: You're really quitting school, and I was like: Yes I told you before and I am not changning my mind. And then he started to get angry and saying many hurtful things like: You are a big failure, you will achieve nothing in life...you are nothing without education, how can you manage, I will not support you anymore and so on and so on.........
It really hurt my feelings and made me sad again. And it lowers my selfesteem. I feel like the worst person ever when I hear things like that. And if he continues I will just start hating him.....
And if that wasn't enough, my grandmother called and said she needed to go to the ER. Its something wrong with her heart. And both of these things came at once, and now I am really not feeling so good. And just when I started to feel better after you guys gave me your nice comments and dad needed to bring it back up and made everything worse again. Why does everything have to be so difficult. And he said like: if you don't study, get a job fast or I will kick you out. I don't think he means it because he wants me to live her for a long time....but he was so angry. But seriously the way I feel now, I want to move out as fast as possible. And I want a job but its not so easy to find. I will go with my friend this week and look for a job in a kindergarden or something....anything will do..I just need money so I can move out once and for all. I really want to be independent now and take care of myself.
Ok sorry guys for a sad entry again....but I needed to write this now. I am of doing some french...
PS: The pics of Jae from the Paris book made me feel better.....OM MAN what can I do without him...I would fail. He just means so much to me. How can we survive without music?!!!