Title: Last time of saying I love you [one-shot]
Author:
bakanishi08Pairing(s): AKAME
Rating: PG
Genre: ANGST. some romance.
Disclaimer: i own nothing.
Summary: Kazu loves Jin so much, but even once, she never heard Jin said ' I love you' to her, but when she finds something, she realized that jin is always saying 'I love you' to her.
Warning: GIRL! KAME GUY! JIN .. CHARACTER DEATH ..
A/N: THIS IS KAME'S POV. ONLY. JUST READ IT, 'kay?
Me and Jin are... Friends. i'm sure of that.
were classmates since elementary, yes. until now. We're college now.
He's ... Perfect. that's all i can describe him. he's perfect for me.
that's how it is.
and now.. after all this years.. I CAN SAY... I LOVE HIM.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM.
Until last year, after we had a trip form a club,
I took a step and confessed my love for him.
::: FLASBACK :::
"uhhhm, Jin... i.. i have something to tell you..."
"what?" he replied, staring to me directly on eye. i felt cold beacause we're on same seat.
"i... i.. have... uhm. i don't know how to explain this but,.. i... i love you.."
he didn't replied, instead he pulls out his phone and texted.
my phone beeped, i read it, and it's from him!
my heart beats faster and faster, the message says "so, you're my girlfriend now?"
i came close to him and whispered to his ears, "YES...."
::: END FLASHBACK :::
And that night, we became lovers, but it seems that
we loved each other in different ways.
I always concentrated on him only, but by his side,
instead of concentrating on me, he concentrates on his friends, and he have MANY.
For me, he's the only one, my only one,
bot to him, maybe I was just like another girl...
After school, I asked him, "Jin, do you want to watch a movie?"
"I can't..."
"Why? You need to study at home?" I felt disappointment grabbing me.
"Nope... I am going to meet a friend..."
He's always like that. He met other girls in front of me, like, I was nothing.
that, to him, I was just a girlfriend. The word 'LOVE' only came out from my mouth.
Since i knew him, I never heard him say ' I LOVE YOU' before, not even once.
To Us, there weren't any anniversaries at all.
He didn't say anything. From the first day and it continued till 100 days... 200 days...
Then one day...
"uhhm, Jin, I .."
"what? don't drag, just say.."
"I love you."
" ........ you ....... uhhhmm, just take this doll and go home."
That was how he ignored my 'three words' and handed me the doll.
Then he disappeared, like, he was running away.
The dolls I recieved from him everyday, filled my room, one by one.
THERE WERE SOOOO MANY.
Then February 23 has came, my 19th year old birthday.
When I got up in the morning,
I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room,
waiting for his call.
I disconnected all my friend's call and just waits for his call.
But...
Lunched passed....
Dinner passed....
And soon the sky was dark...
He didn't call.
I was so tired looking to my phone anymore.
So i went to bed and slept.
then around 2am in the morning,
he suddenly called me and wake me up from my sleep.
He told me to come out of the house.
Still, I felt Joy and I ran out happily.
"Jin........."
"here, take this......."
Again, he handed me a little doll.
"what's this?"
"I didn't give it to you yesterday, so I'm giving it to you now..
I'm going home now, bye"
"wait~ wait! Do you know what today is?"
"Today? huh?"
I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday.
He turned around and walked away like nothing happened.
"Wait!" i shouted.
"you have something to say?"
"tell me Jin, tell me you love me...."
"what?!"
"tell me...."
I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him.
But he just said simple cold words and left.
"I don't want to say... that I love someone so easily,
but if you're desperate to hear it, then find someone else."
That was what he said. Then he ran off.
My legs felt numb and I collapsed to the ground.
how could he....
Maybe he's not the right guy for me...
After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying.
He didn't call me, although I was waiting.
He just continued handing me a little doll
every morning outside my house.
That's how those dolls piled up in my room...
everyday...
after a month i got myself and went to school.
But what made the pain resurface was that...
I saw him on the street... with another girl who was handing him a doll...
he had a smile on his face, a one that he never showed me.
As he touched the doll...
I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room,
and my tears fell...
I feel the anger inside me, I threw the dolls around.
Then suddenly, the phone rang.
It was Jin. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house.
I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop.
I kept reminding myself that.. I'm going to forget him, that....
It's going to be the end.
Then he came into my sight,
holding a big doll.
"Kazuya... I thought you're pissed, you really came?"
I couldn't help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around.
Soon, he held out the doll, as usual.
"I don't need it."
"what? .. why... ?"
I grab the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
"I don't need this doll, I don't need it anymore!!!
I don't want to see a person like you ever again!!!"
I spitted out all the words inside me.
But unlike other days, he's eyes are really shaking.
"you're stupid! why are you picking the doll?! just throw it away!!!" I said,
But he became deaf and dumb, and ignored me,
just to pick the doll. and then...
Honk~ Honk~
With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
"Jin!!! Move!!! Move away!!!" I shouted, i'm really nervous, like, don't know what to do.
But seems like he didn't hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.
" JIN ! MOVE!!!"
"HONK~ HONK~"
"BOOM!!!"
that sound... so terrifying.
That's how he went away from me.
That's how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.
After that day, I had to go through everyday
with guiltiness and sadness of loosing him...
And after spending two months like a crazy person...
I took out the dolls.
Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out.
I remembered the days I spent with him
and started to count the days...
when we were in love...
"one ... two ... three ... "
That was how... I started to count the dolls...
"Four hundred and eighty four... Four hundred and eighty five ... "
It all ended with 485 dolls.
I then started to cry again, w
ith a doll in my arms.
I hug it tightly, then suddenly ...
"I LOVE YOU~ I LOVE YOU~ I LOVE YOU KAZU~!!!"
I dropped the doll, shoked.
"I ... LO ... VE ... YOU ???" I picked up the doll, and pressed it's stomach.
"I LOVE YOU~ I LOVE YOU~ KAZU~~"
It can't be! I pressed all the doll's stomach as it piled on the side.
"I LOVE YOU KAZU~~"
"I LOVE YOU!!!"
Those words came out non-stop. Why didn't I realize that...
That his heart was always by my side, protecting me.
I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it's stomach,
that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road.
It had his blood stain on it.
the voice came out ... the one that I was missing so much.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE! MY LOVE KAZU~!!!
Do you know what today is..?
We've been loving each other for 486 days..
Do you know what 486 is...?
I... I couldn't say that I love you... Uhhmm...
since i was too shy...
If you forgive me and take this doll,
I'll say that I love you...
everyday... till I die... Kazu...
I LOVE YOU..."
The tears came flowing out of me..
Why? why? I asked God..
why do I only know about this now...?
I immediately walked out, and go to
a stuff toy shop, bought a teddy bear.
I quickly go his grave .. and gave the doll to him...
He can't be by my side...
but he loved me until his last minute...
For that... and for that reason... to me...
it became courage... to live a new life...
----------------------------
A/N : FINISHED! em back guys :)
sorry for making a story so angstyyyy :(
I'LL UPDATE MY MULTICHAP TOMORROW :)
neee~ some chocos? please?