I Sometimes Really Hate Feelings
I really needed to get this out of my head, and since I didn't want to bother anyone I thought it would be best to just spill on here.
Out of the blue today I almost lost it all and cried my eyes out at work. I didn't but I was so close. I don't know where the thoughts came from, but I started thinking of my uncle. I was thinking about Christmas and when my Aunt comes to stay with us. And then because when I think about her he kinda just comes into my thoughts.
And it hit me how much I miss him.
I mean he was never a uncle that I felt very close it (like chooch) but he was still part of my family, still someone I loved. I was just thinking how he would react when all the family drama happened. I wonder what pranks he would pull when I was at their house this summer, or when they would come up for family get togethers.
This all hit me while walking downstairs near closing. I had to stop and sit for a moment and get myself under control. now sitting in my room and having all this come back I can't but help but cry. I mean it's almost been a year and it's still hurts every so often when I think about it. And then I think of my aunt. I mean if I just feel like this sometimes, how does she feel? how does she get from day to day?
last time she was here, me and Holly were in my room. we heard someone go into Nana's room and the next thing we knew we heard her crying in the next room. an hour later she started crying on my shoulder when we were talking about her hitting a tree. Everything reminds her of him. I feel bad for her but I don't know what to do.
damn the life when it throws shit like this at people you love.
Out of the blue today I almost lost it all and cried my eyes out at work. I didn't but I was so close. I don't know where the thoughts came from, but I started thinking of my uncle. I was thinking about Christmas and when my Aunt comes to stay with us. And then because when I think about her he kinda just comes into my thoughts.
And it hit me how much I miss him.
I mean he was never a uncle that I felt very close it (like chooch) but he was still part of my family, still someone I loved. I was just thinking how he would react when all the family drama happened. I wonder what pranks he would pull when I was at their house this summer, or when they would come up for family get togethers.
This all hit me while walking downstairs near closing. I had to stop and sit for a moment and get myself under control. now sitting in my room and having all this come back I can't but help but cry. I mean it's almost been a year and it's still hurts every so often when I think about it. And then I think of my aunt. I mean if I just feel like this sometimes, how does she feel? how does she get from day to day?
last time she was here, me and Holly were in my room. we heard someone go into Nana's room and the next thing we knew we heard her crying in the next room. an hour later she started crying on my shoulder when we were talking about her hitting a tree. Everything reminds her of him. I feel bad for her but I don't know what to do.
damn the life when it throws shit like this at people you love.