sayonara Taiyo....
Sometimes I wonder why sunset is more colourful than sunrise...
I guess it's an irony of life...
Sometimes better things could really happen in saying goodbye...
My eyes adored you
Though I never laid a hand on you,
My eyes adored you
Like a million miles away from me you couldn't see
How I adored you:
So close, so close and yet so far away
Christmas won't be the same without you. The rainbow Christmas I was actually hoping for is now gone. My shattered hopes are what I only have now. I don't think I will still be a J.E. fan now that you're gone. I don't know where this will get me, I don't even know if I'm still going to continue everything that I have planned. The mood theme, the Daidassou fic, the crack fic and all the F4 random stuff...I'm now trying to forget those things.
Bye my dear beanstalk. As for my idol rankings, I'm going to stop with it. You will always have the #1 spot forever, and if ever I decide to do that stuff again, I'll start with the # 2. You'll still be the Rui of my F4, no matter what. You charmed your way to my heart, and never before has anyone done such thing, ever. The banner I made was just simple, because I can't even type properly with my shaking hands damped by the tears falling on my face.
I still can't bring myself to thinking that this is real. I'm in denial, total denial. However, I wish you success, in whatever future endeavor or decision you'll have. You may never read this message, or even know that there's a crazy fangirl here bawling her guts out because you've quit J.E. There's a song I used to sing when I was a kid, with the line, "There'll be no sunshine in my life...". I guess, in a way. This news was 1000 multiplied by the power of 100 times more painful than the announcement of HSJ. (T_T;)m
I was thinking that because Hikaru and you are classmates, he'll still be able to convince you to come back. And if ever he does try asking you, I hope you'll smile and say you want to.
I have a lot of things to say, and a cut won't do justice. The things I wrote above was just an intro. (sorry, I have to crack a random and boring joke)
First, is that, among a handful of guys in J.E., Taiyo stands out, not only because of his height, but because he's stunningly handsome. Next is that he's got a nice attitude, 100% cooperative with 0% complaints. He's been splashed with water for so many times and after all those pranks, he still smiled. Looking at his face, you'll be able to peek at his character, a very nice person who never fails to charm everyone. He may look clueless, baka and dorky, but fans like me love him for what he is.
Dearest Taiyo,
It's been almost two months that I haven't seen you. I really missed you, and I wasn't even contented looking at your pictures or watching your videos in my room before I go to sleep. Your smile empowers me, in every day I felt the pressure and depression that has constantly been bugging me because I kinda deserved those. Those pair of twinkling and beautiful eyes keep me going and inspiring me to do my best. You have taught me good values (which I think I failed to possess) like to accept and respect things. You've been a driving force why my first semester grades weren't bloody. (I have my mom and dad to thank you for that)
Whatever reason you had for leaving, I understand...(or at least I've tried to)
What else...*wait*.
Ah, OK, Taiyo, *wipes tears* , it hurts a lot to let you go. I haven't seen you at your very very best. I wished you could even do a solo of Hitoribocchi no Haburashi by your idol Tomoya Nagase. I even dreamed of you sporting longer hair and looking cool. I also wanted you to be with Yabu, Hikaru and Shoon singing Te wo Tsunaide Yukou, holding hands and smiling at the camera...but now, I think I'll only see the old videos of you singing that song with them.
Also, please always gamely pose for paparazzi pics, I would always want to know if you're doing fine and looking great. Ganbatte for your class president duties too. Letting you go somehow proves how much I ♥ you. :) Hoping for your better future that you weren't able to see in J.E. Don't worry about me, I'll still continue to do my best, but then, it really hurts to know I won't be seeing you anymore.
I missed you, and I will still be missing you. You've been a part of my life, and you'll always remain here in my heart.
Sayonara Taiyo...
Lots of love,
Hydee
P.S.:
I'll still make you a birthday post. :) You'll also be featured in headers...I mean, more exposures- more than you'll ever know.
Marry me Taiyo. *points to my tummy* It's our baby.
That's it, bye bye Taiyo, bye bye J.E. fandom, bye bye plans, bye bye LIFE. While writing this heartbreaking entry I'M EATING COOKIES. T_T So now, I think, the real semi-hiatus begins, 'cause there's no reason why I should be checking updates anymore.