The Gooseberry Bush Chronicles Episode 3
Title: The Gooseberry Bush Chronicles
Chapter 3: Shikamaru and the box
Rating: R for swears
Pairings: None for this part
Genre: Crack. Like Whoa.
The Gooseberry Bush Chronicles
Episode 3
Shikamaru looked up at the clouds lazily. This was his favorite thing to do... to simply blow off training and spend his time wandering dreamily through the Konoha forest and stare at the sky. The clouds were always interesting... always changing... they filled his heart with peace for some odd reason... maybe it was because they were so...not...troublesome... He sighed contentedly.
Suddenly, he stubbed his exposed toe on something rather hard. Cursing under his breath, he stopped to examine it. It was a small, metallic box chained to a gooseberry bush. How strange... and troublesome...
Shikamaru bent to examine this thing that had interrupted his nice walk. There was a small, slim hole in the side just big enough for him to slip his hand into. He held the box up to his eye and looked into the hole. It was dark. He sniffed at the box. A familiar odor wafted into his nose...
Banana... There was a banana in the box! He’d stake his I.Q. level on it. He glanced around quickly to see if anyone was watching, then tentatively slipped his hand into the box.
His fist closed around the plump fruit, and he felt a twinge of triumph sweep over him. It would soon be his. He could almost taste the soft, yellow deliciousness on his tongue. Bananas were his favorite fruit. How he loved bananas...
With a loud clank, Shikamaru found that his fist around the banana was now too big to fit out of the hole in the box. He scowled. How? How could he get that banana out? There had to be an answer. He pulled his fist more violently against the side of the box. His hand hurt. He was still no closer to getting that banana.
With a growl, he tried again. Soon he was banging his hand against the hard metallic sides, his injuries going unnoticed. All he thought about was that banana. Why couldn’t he get it out? Damn it all!
He began banging the box against the ground, a neighboring solitary tree that just wanted to be left alone, and the gooseberry bush. Nothing worked.
Shikamaru was a genius. There was no doubt about that. He could easily explain the inner workings of the universe in a way that would put Einstein to shame. But he couldn’t, for the life of him, get that banana out of this...this...THIS DAMN INSTRUMENT OF TORTURE!!!
With a wail of dismay, Shikamaru fell to the ground and began twitching convulsively. His eyes rolled back into his head and low, guttural noises escaped his throat.
“What the hell is that box, again?” Asuma asked from behind the gooseberry bush as he watched Shikamaru’s fit.
“It’s a monkey-trap,” Chouji said, munching on a bag of chips that never seemed to empty.
“Well, I gotta hand it to you, Chouji. It seems like you finally found something that even our Shikamaru couldn’t figure out,” Ino admitted.
Chouji just smiled softly. He had known that even Shikamaru couldn’t defeat the powers of the banana.
Owari
P.S. In a completely unrelated incident, Sakura’s mangled corpse was found inside the glove compartment of a shitty little Dodge Neon. Inquiries are still being made as to the identity of the murderers. Their award of three million yen is still waiting to be accepted.
Chapter 3: Shikamaru and the box
Rating: R for swears
Pairings: None for this part
Genre: Crack. Like Whoa.
The Gooseberry Bush Chronicles
Episode 3
Shikamaru looked up at the clouds lazily. This was his favorite thing to do... to simply blow off training and spend his time wandering dreamily through the Konoha forest and stare at the sky. The clouds were always interesting... always changing... they filled his heart with peace for some odd reason... maybe it was because they were so...not...troublesome... He sighed contentedly.
Suddenly, he stubbed his exposed toe on something rather hard. Cursing under his breath, he stopped to examine it. It was a small, metallic box chained to a gooseberry bush. How strange... and troublesome...
Shikamaru bent to examine this thing that had interrupted his nice walk. There was a small, slim hole in the side just big enough for him to slip his hand into. He held the box up to his eye and looked into the hole. It was dark. He sniffed at the box. A familiar odor wafted into his nose...
Banana... There was a banana in the box! He’d stake his I.Q. level on it. He glanced around quickly to see if anyone was watching, then tentatively slipped his hand into the box.
His fist closed around the plump fruit, and he felt a twinge of triumph sweep over him. It would soon be his. He could almost taste the soft, yellow deliciousness on his tongue. Bananas were his favorite fruit. How he loved bananas...
With a loud clank, Shikamaru found that his fist around the banana was now too big to fit out of the hole in the box. He scowled. How? How could he get that banana out? There had to be an answer. He pulled his fist more violently against the side of the box. His hand hurt. He was still no closer to getting that banana.
With a growl, he tried again. Soon he was banging his hand against the hard metallic sides, his injuries going unnoticed. All he thought about was that banana. Why couldn’t he get it out? Damn it all!
He began banging the box against the ground, a neighboring solitary tree that just wanted to be left alone, and the gooseberry bush. Nothing worked.
Shikamaru was a genius. There was no doubt about that. He could easily explain the inner workings of the universe in a way that would put Einstein to shame. But he couldn’t, for the life of him, get that banana out of this...this...THIS DAMN INSTRUMENT OF TORTURE!!!
With a wail of dismay, Shikamaru fell to the ground and began twitching convulsively. His eyes rolled back into his head and low, guttural noises escaped his throat.
“What the hell is that box, again?” Asuma asked from behind the gooseberry bush as he watched Shikamaru’s fit.
“It’s a monkey-trap,” Chouji said, munching on a bag of chips that never seemed to empty.
“Well, I gotta hand it to you, Chouji. It seems like you finally found something that even our Shikamaru couldn’t figure out,” Ino admitted.
Chouji just smiled softly. He had known that even Shikamaru couldn’t defeat the powers of the banana.
Owari
P.S. In a completely unrelated incident, Sakura’s mangled corpse was found inside the glove compartment of a shitty little Dodge Neon. Inquiries are still being made as to the identity of the murderers. Their award of three million yen is still waiting to be accepted.