(no subject)
I had wash out on the line and noticed a black cat in the yard. I pulled down all the bed sheets and took them inside and then came back out to toss treats at the cat staring at me in the yard. Our neighbor out here has been thoughtful enough to have all the feral cats she encounters picked up and fixed. Me, being a cat person, of course hoped one of these cats my friend, and befriended (read bribed) would take to me. As I approached the cat she didn't dart away. I got closer and closer until finally she bolted a few feet. I threw her some treats, scanning the grass of my backyard for how close they had landed to her. This is when I spotted the wee bunny.
I am a person who would probably help a spider even though I carry an intense allergy to them. This is a severe contrast to many of my friends who are hardcore natural selection types. I went out into the yard and found this very young rabbit that had been somewhat chewed by the black cat I had been previously courting. I brought the wounded rabbit inside, found a towel to wrap her in and went to my dad and apologized for my sappy heart. I brought the critter into my room and again apologized to my boyfriend for being a weeping heart. When I showed him her very broken right leg he said we needed to find an animal hospital for her. No matter how dark and spooky, I know him to be just as soft as I am to the needy, honestly.
After a short time of him calling, following numbers and the like, we were finally directed to an animal hospital about 13 miles on the highway from here. We took her there and handed her over. We filled out the paperwork and told them (through my own er-um-okee type reaction) we'd stay to hear her fate. The nurse came out and said that basically the bunny was so young and so nom nom'd by the cat that the kindest thing was to euthanasias her. We agreed and went on our way back home. But the entire trip my mind thought of all the ways I could have nursed that bunny back to greatness and put it back into the wild to rule. Damn my obsession with Watership Down.
Now, as I stare at the glowbugs that dot the side-yard of the house, the idea that I could have done more to save that baby bunny's life grips me. There are people, artists (who I adore) in this world who live for the death of other creatures, but I simply can't stomach it. I could be (as now) tankered off my ass, or sober or not as the next person, I value the life of the next creature. I just can't abide by the death of most things. I wanted that rabbit to be ok. I understand that the cat that caught it needs to live and by catching this baby rabbit it would have had a meal. I understand that creatures on this planet, cute or ugly, exist to keep other creatures alive... I guess I just don't care when it comes to my backyard. If I can exist with a severe (and I mean deathly) allergy to spiders, I put that upon other creatures who would think me an idiot. And yet, I say this even after I squished (without a second thought) a spider I found on me today. The only thought in my head being: Fuck! Spider! ERs and doctors! Not being able to breath! And that fucker went down.
I grew up a horror movie fan because of my older brother. Whether he knows it or not he sort of raised me to believe that life was forfient when stupidity was involved. I can tell you that the same brother would murder to protect his own daughters, just as I would for the welfare of my nieces. But it strikes me as sort of funny. I would do bad things to protect my kin, even though I can't kill ants in my house.
Anywho... I wasn't able to save the stupid baby rabbit. And though I tend to like felines over most animals, I found myself throwing shit at the black cat in the yard today. If that cat died and went to pieces in the yard, chances are I would collect its skull and use it for artistic purposes. Really, as much as that grosses out some people. animal bones used in art I have no problem with. But knowing that I interfered with one of its meals, that bothers. It makes me feel like I should have just done the sheets another day and not had to deal with this whole scene.
I am a person who would probably help a spider even though I carry an intense allergy to them. This is a severe contrast to many of my friends who are hardcore natural selection types. I went out into the yard and found this very young rabbit that had been somewhat chewed by the black cat I had been previously courting. I brought the wounded rabbit inside, found a towel to wrap her in and went to my dad and apologized for my sappy heart. I brought the critter into my room and again apologized to my boyfriend for being a weeping heart. When I showed him her very broken right leg he said we needed to find an animal hospital for her. No matter how dark and spooky, I know him to be just as soft as I am to the needy, honestly.
After a short time of him calling, following numbers and the like, we were finally directed to an animal hospital about 13 miles on the highway from here. We took her there and handed her over. We filled out the paperwork and told them (through my own er-um-okee type reaction) we'd stay to hear her fate. The nurse came out and said that basically the bunny was so young and so nom nom'd by the cat that the kindest thing was to euthanasias her. We agreed and went on our way back home. But the entire trip my mind thought of all the ways I could have nursed that bunny back to greatness and put it back into the wild to rule. Damn my obsession with Watership Down.
Now, as I stare at the glowbugs that dot the side-yard of the house, the idea that I could have done more to save that baby bunny's life grips me. There are people, artists (who I adore) in this world who live for the death of other creatures, but I simply can't stomach it. I could be (as now) tankered off my ass, or sober or not as the next person, I value the life of the next creature. I just can't abide by the death of most things. I wanted that rabbit to be ok. I understand that the cat that caught it needs to live and by catching this baby rabbit it would have had a meal. I understand that creatures on this planet, cute or ugly, exist to keep other creatures alive... I guess I just don't care when it comes to my backyard. If I can exist with a severe (and I mean deathly) allergy to spiders, I put that upon other creatures who would think me an idiot. And yet, I say this even after I squished (without a second thought) a spider I found on me today. The only thought in my head being: Fuck! Spider! ERs and doctors! Not being able to breath! And that fucker went down.
I grew up a horror movie fan because of my older brother. Whether he knows it or not he sort of raised me to believe that life was forfient when stupidity was involved. I can tell you that the same brother would murder to protect his own daughters, just as I would for the welfare of my nieces. But it strikes me as sort of funny. I would do bad things to protect my kin, even though I can't kill ants in my house.
Anywho... I wasn't able to save the stupid baby rabbit. And though I tend to like felines over most animals, I found myself throwing shit at the black cat in the yard today. If that cat died and went to pieces in the yard, chances are I would collect its skull and use it for artistic purposes. Really, as much as that grosses out some people. animal bones used in art I have no problem with. But knowing that I interfered with one of its meals, that bothers. It makes me feel like I should have just done the sheets another day and not had to deal with this whole scene.