Random Masquerade/Cosplay Contest script: Who Is God?
The Cast:
Light Yagami (Post L's Death. Death Note) - Psycho school boy with a death note
Vegita (DBZ) - Insanely powerful and egotistical anti-hero/villain
Sephiroth (Final Fantasy VII) - Insanely powerful and egotistical anti-hero/villain with an Oedipus Complex
Knives Millions (Trigun) - Alien who wants to kill all inferior species
Mario (Super Mario Bros.) The world's most famous plumber
(SCENE: LIGHT's room. LIGHT is at his desk, writing in his Death Note and talking to himself. As usual.)
LIGHT: Once I have eliminated all the evil people in this world, everyone will get along with each other. There will be no more war. Poverty shall cease. The global warming problem will be fixed. Every day will be rainbows and lollipops! And then everyone will acknowledge me as the god of this new, pure world!
VEGITA: (From off-stage) That is where you are wrong, you simple, delusional weakling!
(VEGITA crashes into LIGHT's room and grabs him by the collar.)
LIGHT: Wh-who are you?
VEGITA: I am Vegita, prince of the planet Vegita, mightiest of all Saiyans. And this world belongs to me!
LIGHT: (Faking interest) Really? Well, just let me write your name down so I won't forget... (VEGITA snatches the Death Note away from LIGHT) Hey!
VEGITA: That will not be necessary, little boy. For it will be the last name you hear...
SEPHIROTH: (Appears behind VEGITA with his sword at the Saiyan's throat) No. The last thing this boy will hear is the combined cries of you both as I impale you.
VEGITA: (Drops LIGHT and turns to face the newcomer) Who in hell do you thing you are to threaten me?
SEPHIROTH: I am the true inheritor of this world, monkey. Even now, an unstoppable meteor is heading for this world. When it crashes, all lesser species will be wiped from the surface of the earth. And I and my mother will remain as the true lords of this world.
VEGITA: Who are you calling a monkey, you girlish leather freak with a Norman Bates complex!
LIGHT: (On the floor, trying to pry the Death Note out of VEGITA's hands) And what did you say your name was again?
KNIVES: (Appears behind LIGHT and points a gun at his head.) You know, silver hair, that's a very good plan.
(LIGHT, VEGITA, and SEPHIROTH turn towards KNIVES)
KNIVES: Except, you're the inferior species, too. And tell the monkey that it's not a Norman Bates complex, it's an Oedipus Complex. Big difference.
VEGITA: The next asshole to call me a monkey will be annihilated!
SEPHIROTH: It is NOT an Oedipus Complex! How could I have sex with mother when she has no lower torso?
LIGHT: Will someone please give me some names?!
(LIGHT, SEPHIROTH, VEGITA and KNIVES argue with each other. VEGITA tosses the Death Note aside. MARIO walks on stage and picks it up.)
MARIO: Scuzi. What's-a all the arguing about?
(The others stop)
LIGHT: (Exasperated) And who are you?
MARIO: It's-a me, Mario! Now, why-a you fight?
LIGHT: These three muscle-bound idiots think that they are the god of this world! But they're not. I am!
SEPHIROTH, VEGITA AND KNIVES: Not if I kill you! (They glare at each other) No, I'm gonna kill him! Stop copying me!
MARIO: You're all-a wrong. (The others glare at Mario) Think about it, gentlemen. What makes-a the world go 'round?
LIGHT: Justice?
VEGITA: Power.
SEPHIROTH: Mother's will.
KNIVES: Donuts?
MARIO: No. Money. And let's-a face it. My creator is-a the richest man in-a the world. Sephiroth. (SEPHIROTH points to himself) If it weren't for my company letting your company make-a games-a for us-a, you and-a your mama wouldn't exist.
SEPHIROTH: That's true.
MARIO: And-a Vegita?
VEGITA: What?
MARIO: Half of-a the income your creator makes isa making characters for games on our systems. And-a Knives and Light? Your creators work for rivals of-a our company. And-a they'd-a pro'bly be unknown in-a Japan if-a we didn't-a push them to do better.
(Light and Knives nod in agreement)
MARIO: So you see, none of-a you can-a be god, because-a you rely on-a my father, Shigeru Miyamoto, too much. (MARIO starts writing in the Death Note)
LIGHT: If Miyamoto-sensei is your father, and you think he is god, does that make you the son of god?
MARIO: No.
(LIGHT, VEGITA, KNIVES AND SEPHIROTH have heart attacks and die.)
MARIO: I'm-a his shinigami. (He carries the Death Note off stage.) Now all-a I hafa to do is-a kill Naruto and-a the Master Chief, and-a the world will belong to NINTENDO! WHOO-HOO!
(END.)
Light Yagami (Post L's Death. Death Note) - Psycho school boy with a death note
Vegita (DBZ) - Insanely powerful and egotistical anti-hero/villain
Sephiroth (Final Fantasy VII) - Insanely powerful and egotistical anti-hero/villain with an Oedipus Complex
Knives Millions (Trigun) - Alien who wants to kill all inferior species
Mario (Super Mario Bros.) The world's most famous plumber
(SCENE: LIGHT's room. LIGHT is at his desk, writing in his Death Note and talking to himself. As usual.)
LIGHT: Once I have eliminated all the evil people in this world, everyone will get along with each other. There will be no more war. Poverty shall cease. The global warming problem will be fixed. Every day will be rainbows and lollipops! And then everyone will acknowledge me as the god of this new, pure world!
VEGITA: (From off-stage) That is where you are wrong, you simple, delusional weakling!
(VEGITA crashes into LIGHT's room and grabs him by the collar.)
LIGHT: Wh-who are you?
VEGITA: I am Vegita, prince of the planet Vegita, mightiest of all Saiyans. And this world belongs to me!
LIGHT: (Faking interest) Really? Well, just let me write your name down so I won't forget... (VEGITA snatches the Death Note away from LIGHT) Hey!
VEGITA: That will not be necessary, little boy. For it will be the last name you hear...
SEPHIROTH: (Appears behind VEGITA with his sword at the Saiyan's throat) No. The last thing this boy will hear is the combined cries of you both as I impale you.
VEGITA: (Drops LIGHT and turns to face the newcomer) Who in hell do you thing you are to threaten me?
SEPHIROTH: I am the true inheritor of this world, monkey. Even now, an unstoppable meteor is heading for this world. When it crashes, all lesser species will be wiped from the surface of the earth. And I and my mother will remain as the true lords of this world.
VEGITA: Who are you calling a monkey, you girlish leather freak with a Norman Bates complex!
LIGHT: (On the floor, trying to pry the Death Note out of VEGITA's hands) And what did you say your name was again?
KNIVES: (Appears behind LIGHT and points a gun at his head.) You know, silver hair, that's a very good plan.
(LIGHT, VEGITA, and SEPHIROTH turn towards KNIVES)
KNIVES: Except, you're the inferior species, too. And tell the monkey that it's not a Norman Bates complex, it's an Oedipus Complex. Big difference.
VEGITA: The next asshole to call me a monkey will be annihilated!
SEPHIROTH: It is NOT an Oedipus Complex! How could I have sex with mother when she has no lower torso?
LIGHT: Will someone please give me some names?!
(LIGHT, SEPHIROTH, VEGITA and KNIVES argue with each other. VEGITA tosses the Death Note aside. MARIO walks on stage and picks it up.)
MARIO: Scuzi. What's-a all the arguing about?
(The others stop)
LIGHT: (Exasperated) And who are you?
MARIO: It's-a me, Mario! Now, why-a you fight?
LIGHT: These three muscle-bound idiots think that they are the god of this world! But they're not. I am!
SEPHIROTH, VEGITA AND KNIVES: Not if I kill you! (They glare at each other) No, I'm gonna kill him! Stop copying me!
MARIO: You're all-a wrong. (The others glare at Mario) Think about it, gentlemen. What makes-a the world go 'round?
LIGHT: Justice?
VEGITA: Power.
SEPHIROTH: Mother's will.
KNIVES: Donuts?
MARIO: No. Money. And let's-a face it. My creator is-a the richest man in-a the world. Sephiroth. (SEPHIROTH points to himself) If it weren't for my company letting your company make-a games-a for us-a, you and-a your mama wouldn't exist.
SEPHIROTH: That's true.
MARIO: And-a Vegita?
VEGITA: What?
MARIO: Half of-a the income your creator makes isa making characters for games on our systems. And-a Knives and Light? Your creators work for rivals of-a our company. And-a they'd-a pro'bly be unknown in-a Japan if-a we didn't-a push them to do better.
(Light and Knives nod in agreement)
MARIO: So you see, none of-a you can-a be god, because-a you rely on-a my father, Shigeru Miyamoto, too much. (MARIO starts writing in the Death Note)
LIGHT: If Miyamoto-sensei is your father, and you think he is god, does that make you the son of god?
MARIO: No.
(LIGHT, VEGITA, KNIVES AND SEPHIROTH have heart attacks and die.)
MARIO: I'm-a his shinigami. (He carries the Death Note off stage.) Now all-a I hafa to do is-a kill Naruto and-a the Master Chief, and-a the world will belong to NINTENDO! WHOO-HOO!
(END.)