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Note from the Editor:
Dear Readers,
As you may know, my late wife Clover Lovegood was a victim of a feral werewolf attack in Scotland. I have hesitated to report on this, or on werewolves in general, because I feared the issue was too close to home. However, it’s become clear to me that that is exactly why I have an obligation to do so: these issues are close to home for all of us, and it’s time someone stood up and spoke about them.
A little research into the werewolf attacks and the Ministry’s response has uncovered an unacceptable injustice, a colossal failure to protect any of us. So this is somewhat of a special issue, concerning werewolves and their treatment under the law. What’s in these pages may horrify you: you’ll find no gossip or crosswords or recipes or tall tales. I urge you to read it anyway.
I know I’ve said in the past that ideology is limiting, that openmindedness comes first, but that concept is a luxury we can no longer afford. We can no longer let this go by unnamed and unchecked. It’s time to pick a side. What side are you on?
Thanks for reading,
Xenophiloius Lovegood
Editor-in-Chief
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Caption: These images, taken a week from the full moon, speak for themselves: citizens--children--held in St. Mungo’s without trial or formal charges under conditions best described as barbaric.
This is the face of the DRCMC. This is the Ministry of Magic. Do you feel safe now?
FERAL WEREWOLVES IN SCOTLAND: A PROBLEM OF OUR OWN MAKING?
Contributor: Xenophilius Lovegood
The dominant narrative from the Ministry of Magic and its mouthpiece, the Daily Prophet, is that the feral werewolf population responsible for attacks and killings in Scotland is motivated by savagery and savagery alone. But The Quibbler has discovered that the problem is more insidious even than that--a problem created and then covered up by the Ministry’s injustice and gross incompetence. The Daily Prophet has, predictably, lauded the great strides made in werewolf legislation to protect the population and keep the citizenry safe. But the Quibbler’s werewolf and Ministry sources tell a different story.
“The Ministry wanted to show they were doing something, so those of us who actually follow the laws have to pay the price.” explains Mark P., a law-abiding London werewolf hit hard by the recent legislation, spearheaded by now-missing DRCMC head Dolores Umbridge. “Logically it's ridiculous, but the Ministry is so incompetent that they can't actually catch the people who've gone feral. So they crack down on the people they do have at hand.”
But what does this crackdown actually entail? For one, it ensures that werewolves are nigh-unemployable, and entrepreneurship is out of the question: “ I did have my own business, last fall, but any adverts have to include full disclosure. “ Mark explains. “You'd be amazed how quickly people no longer need your services, after they see that.” Even menial work is beyond the reach of werewolves. Despite top marks at Hogwarts and an impressive pre-infection CV, Hannah Q. hasn’t found steady work in almost a year: “I’ve tried everything: potion brewing, working in shops, housecleaning, odd jobs and such. If it weren’t for my husband I’d be out on the street, or worse.”
Worse indeed. This desperate poverty faced by even thoroughly qualified infected witches and wizards only plays into Fenrir Greyback’s hands, argues an anonymous Ministry source. They flock to his small army, “not because they’re criminals, or because they’re evil, but because they have to or else they’ll starve. You try being homeless and sick and alone in the middle of winter in London. Most of Fenrir’s pack wants a place to sleep and something to eat, and if the price of that is following him, well, who else is going to give it to them? Certainly not the Ministry.”
Then why force law-abiding werewolves into unemployment and poverty? “It'd hurt Crouch's image to continue to show no results.” Mark argues. “This way they can say, legitimately, that they're being harsher on werewolf control laws, without having actual progress.”
Under the guise of protecting the people, the Ministry of Magic is giving us security theatre and institutionalized oppression. These policies eliminate the rights of its law-abiding citizens, driving them into abject poverty and into the hands of a monster, swelling his ranks and turning one murderer into a small army. Is this the Britain you want to live in? Do you feel safe now?
INSIDE THE WEREWOLF REGISTRY: TWO PEOPLE’S REAL-LIFE EXPERIENCES WITH THE DRCMC
Contributor: Xenophilius Lovegood
I interviewed two London werewolves about their experiences with the Werewolf Registry. These invasive appointments were once yearly but now, under the new legislation, werewolves are required by law to present themselves monthly for interrogation and examination. Mark and Hannah take us through, in their own words, the way the Ministry handles its law-abiding citizens:
Mark: ”You go in to the office in the DRCMC and surrender your wand.”
Hannah: “Sometimes they let me bring my husband with me, sometimes not.”
Mark: “There’s a series of questions: where you’ve traveled, what you’ve been doing, if you’ve found work, who you’ve been in touch with.”
Hannah: “If you’ve spoken to other werewolves you are “congregating”, and that’s bad, even if you’ve just had a little chat with someone in the waiting room. But if you haven’t you’ll be asked if you are “antisocial”, which might be worse. It all depends on who is interviewing you that day, if they’re annoyed or irritated or whatever, they’ll take anything you say and twist it into you being crazy or dangerous or both.”
Mark: “Sexual contacts, sometimes, too, they've asked about that before. Still can't figure out what that's meant to help with.”
Hannah: “It’s paranoia, about us “breeding”, they call it. They ask questions about my husband and I that are just graphic and un-called for, and they do a proper exam of everything--looking for what, I can’t imagine. I was sterilized my first appointment, all females are.”
Mark: “There’s a screen. They examine you physically, every inch of skin. They document everything. I was seven, the first time.”
Hannah: “Once they’ve gone over your scars and freckles and what-have-you for the thousandth time--it’s someone of the same sex at least, who does it, who knows how long that will continue--the appointment is done, you get a stamp and you can leave. Until next month.”
Mark: “Those of us who actually follow the laws have to pay the price.”
Hannah: “It’s mental. Because, of course, no feral or criminal is going to present themselves for an examination, they live off-the-grid. So it’s just us.”
So this, readers, is what the Ministry subjects its citizens to for the purpose of making you feel a little safer. Is it working?
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Xenophilius Lovegood
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