Two Bones One-Shots by ralob
My brother, ralob, asked that I post these here as I get more traffic on my LJ than he does on his. Plus, I'm really proud of how these turned out.
Title: Untitled #1
Fandom: Bones
Author: ralob
Summary: Bones is pregnant.
Words: 444
Rating: PG
Spoilers: none
“I'm pregnant”, she blurted.
“Huh? Er.... what? Pregnant!? How?” Booth demanded, surprise in every line of his body.
“Well, your penis entered my vagina and upon climax your semen fertilized my eg-,”she began
“No, no, no, I know that, I meant...how...I thought... I used a condom and...”
“Well obviously it broke,” Bones replied.
“But weren't you on that...pill, yeah, 'The Pill',” Booth asked, fingers raised in mock-quotation.
“Yes. However, birth control pills are not one-hundred percent effective. If used correctly, rate of failure are estimated to be around one percent. And I assure you that I utilized it correctly”, Bones stated.
“Well... Damn,” Booth said as a multitude of emotions crossed his face; happiness, surprise, shock.... mostly shock. Bones thought he might even have a tear in his eye. Booth always was the sentimental type, she supposed. Not that it made him any less of an alpha male, of course. In fact-
Booth's voice cut through Temperance's inner monologue, “How far... I mean... when is...it... due?”
“I haven't been to a specialist, yet. I only took several home pregnancy tests after my cycle was delayed,” Bones said. “All eleven stated in unequivocal terms that I am pregnant.”
“Woah, woah, woah. Eleven? You took eleven tests?”, Booth said, eyes wide and mouth quirked.
“Well, yes. While the self-test devices are around ninety-seven point four percent accurate, I merely felt it best to confirm the suspicion with indisputable evidence. The eleven out of eleven ratio clearly proves that I am mostly likely with child,” Bones said.
Clearly the idea finally seemed to penetrate Booth's mind. He knocked up Brennan. And she was having a baby. His baby.
“Holy crap,”, he murmured. He looked over a Bones as she stood next to him with her hip cocked. Her light blue eyes locked with his and he now understood the faint worry lines that were a constant companion to Bones' forehead these past few weeks.
“Well, how should we proceed,” Bones asked.
“What do you mean? When Rebecca was pregnant with Parker we had to set up appointments with an obsta...obst....damn it. Baby doctor. Then we have to figure out who should deliver the little bundle of joy,” Booth rambled.
Bones' eye brightened. “So, you don't want me to have an abortion,” she stated.
“Abortion?! No. No way. I think that we can make this work. I mean, we're partners, right? We can do this,” Booth said fiercely.
Bones grinned up at him, blue eyes twinkling.
“Yeah. Partners,” she murmured and grabbed his ears to jerk him down for a kiss.
======================
Title: Untitled #2
Fandom: Bones
Author: ralob
Summary: Bones tells Angela she's pregnant
Words: 644
Rating: PG
Spoilers: none
“I finished the reconstruction of the tattoo from the victim's lower back,” Angela began as she entered Bones' office. She immediately spotted her best friend behind her desk idly typing on her laptop as she lay her head against the palm of her left hand. Sweat glistened on her brow and a slightly greenish tinge flushed Brennan's face made her appear quite ghastly.
“Oh? That's great, Ang. Let me call Booth and let him know,” Bones said reaching for her cellphone.
“Hold on, sweetie. Are you feeling okay? You look... peaked. Yes, peaked,” Angela concluded with a firm nod. “You need to lie down for a minute?” she asked Brennan.
“No, I'm fine. Just some morning sickness. Though that term is incorrect. Really, the feeling of nausea is caused by-,” Bones began.
“Oh, my God. What did you just say,” Angela demanded, striding around Bones' desk to grip her friend's hands.
“The term-,” Bones reiterated.
“No, no, no. I mean before... Morning sickness. You're pregnant!? And didn't tell me?” Angela asked as a hurt look darkened her features.
“I just found out a few days ago and it never came up,” Bones said, trying to placate her emotional friend.
“Who is the father? Wait, don't tell me. You and Booth finally did it. I guess better late than never... ,” Angela trailed off before she brightened and gripped Bones hands again.
“Never mind that, how is he in bed? He looks like he can go all night without stopping, and his ass is fabulous. You caught yourself a good one,” Angela babbled happily
“How did you know it was Booth? And yes, he is a very energetic and considerate lover,” Bones said, squirming slightly at the reminder of just how great of a lover her partner was.
“We all knew it was going to happen sooner or later, sweetie. I guess you two were the last to figure it out. And I totally knew Booth would be killer between the sheets,” Angela sighed dreamily. “Anyway, enough about that. What about the baby? Oh, my God, you are knocked up!,” Angela squealed.
“I prefer 'with child',” Bones grumbled.
“How far along are you?” Angela asked.
“Well, according to my calculations, I am approximately nine weeks pregnant. However, my irregular menstrual cycle makes the approximation far from exact,” Bones replied.
“Have you gone to the doctor's yet? Did you tell Booth? Did you pick out names? I always liked Grace for a girl and Jamison for a boy. Any news on the sex? Not with Booth, I mean the baby. Of course, you are always welcome to tell me about sex with Booth,” Angela rambled.
“Uh. I am going to the doctor on Thursday with Booth. I informed him last night, after which he and I had sex. Several times. As for the rest? I don't have much time to talk right now, I have work to do. And I really have to pee. I will keep you up-to-date,” Bones said as she stood up from behind her desk and walked to the other side.
“Alright sweetie. But you take it easy, you hear? You aren't just looking after yourself anymore. Now you have a little innocent baby depending on you, so don't over do it. Dinner after work to finish this discussion?” Angela asked as she backed out of the office.
“Sure,” Bones said as she grabbed her cellphone from her desk.
Angela nodded happily and was about to stride away before Bones' voice stopped her.
“Angie... Thanks for...”
Angela nodded and gave her boss a small smile.
“Brennan, I will always be here for you. What else are best friends for?”
And with that, she turned and walked back to her office.
Crossposted to boothandbrennan
Title: Untitled #1
Fandom: Bones
Author: ralob
Summary: Bones is pregnant.
Words: 444
Rating: PG
Spoilers: none
“I'm pregnant”, she blurted.
“Huh? Er.... what? Pregnant!? How?” Booth demanded, surprise in every line of his body.
“Well, your penis entered my vagina and upon climax your semen fertilized my eg-,”she began
“No, no, no, I know that, I meant...how...I thought... I used a condom and...”
“Well obviously it broke,” Bones replied.
“But weren't you on that...pill, yeah, 'The Pill',” Booth asked, fingers raised in mock-quotation.
“Yes. However, birth control pills are not one-hundred percent effective. If used correctly, rate of failure are estimated to be around one percent. And I assure you that I utilized it correctly”, Bones stated.
“Well... Damn,” Booth said as a multitude of emotions crossed his face; happiness, surprise, shock.... mostly shock. Bones thought he might even have a tear in his eye. Booth always was the sentimental type, she supposed. Not that it made him any less of an alpha male, of course. In fact-
Booth's voice cut through Temperance's inner monologue, “How far... I mean... when is...it... due?”
“I haven't been to a specialist, yet. I only took several home pregnancy tests after my cycle was delayed,” Bones said. “All eleven stated in unequivocal terms that I am pregnant.”
“Woah, woah, woah. Eleven? You took eleven tests?”, Booth said, eyes wide and mouth quirked.
“Well, yes. While the self-test devices are around ninety-seven point four percent accurate, I merely felt it best to confirm the suspicion with indisputable evidence. The eleven out of eleven ratio clearly proves that I am mostly likely with child,” Bones said.
Clearly the idea finally seemed to penetrate Booth's mind. He knocked up Brennan. And she was having a baby. His baby.
“Holy crap,”, he murmured. He looked over a Bones as she stood next to him with her hip cocked. Her light blue eyes locked with his and he now understood the faint worry lines that were a constant companion to Bones' forehead these past few weeks.
“Well, how should we proceed,” Bones asked.
“What do you mean? When Rebecca was pregnant with Parker we had to set up appointments with an obsta...obst....damn it. Baby doctor. Then we have to figure out who should deliver the little bundle of joy,” Booth rambled.
Bones' eye brightened. “So, you don't want me to have an abortion,” she stated.
“Abortion?! No. No way. I think that we can make this work. I mean, we're partners, right? We can do this,” Booth said fiercely.
Bones grinned up at him, blue eyes twinkling.
“Yeah. Partners,” she murmured and grabbed his ears to jerk him down for a kiss.
======================
Title: Untitled #2
Fandom: Bones
Author: ralob
Summary: Bones tells Angela she's pregnant
Words: 644
Rating: PG
Spoilers: none
“I finished the reconstruction of the tattoo from the victim's lower back,” Angela began as she entered Bones' office. She immediately spotted her best friend behind her desk idly typing on her laptop as she lay her head against the palm of her left hand. Sweat glistened on her brow and a slightly greenish tinge flushed Brennan's face made her appear quite ghastly.
“Oh? That's great, Ang. Let me call Booth and let him know,” Bones said reaching for her cellphone.
“Hold on, sweetie. Are you feeling okay? You look... peaked. Yes, peaked,” Angela concluded with a firm nod. “You need to lie down for a minute?” she asked Brennan.
“No, I'm fine. Just some morning sickness. Though that term is incorrect. Really, the feeling of nausea is caused by-,” Bones began.
“Oh, my God. What did you just say,” Angela demanded, striding around Bones' desk to grip her friend's hands.
“The term-,” Bones reiterated.
“No, no, no. I mean before... Morning sickness. You're pregnant!? And didn't tell me?” Angela asked as a hurt look darkened her features.
“I just found out a few days ago and it never came up,” Bones said, trying to placate her emotional friend.
“Who is the father? Wait, don't tell me. You and Booth finally did it. I guess better late than never... ,” Angela trailed off before she brightened and gripped Bones hands again.
“Never mind that, how is he in bed? He looks like he can go all night without stopping, and his ass is fabulous. You caught yourself a good one,” Angela babbled happily
“How did you know it was Booth? And yes, he is a very energetic and considerate lover,” Bones said, squirming slightly at the reminder of just how great of a lover her partner was.
“We all knew it was going to happen sooner or later, sweetie. I guess you two were the last to figure it out. And I totally knew Booth would be killer between the sheets,” Angela sighed dreamily. “Anyway, enough about that. What about the baby? Oh, my God, you are knocked up!,” Angela squealed.
“I prefer 'with child',” Bones grumbled.
“How far along are you?” Angela asked.
“Well, according to my calculations, I am approximately nine weeks pregnant. However, my irregular menstrual cycle makes the approximation far from exact,” Bones replied.
“Have you gone to the doctor's yet? Did you tell Booth? Did you pick out names? I always liked Grace for a girl and Jamison for a boy. Any news on the sex? Not with Booth, I mean the baby. Of course, you are always welcome to tell me about sex with Booth,” Angela rambled.
“Uh. I am going to the doctor on Thursday with Booth. I informed him last night, after which he and I had sex. Several times. As for the rest? I don't have much time to talk right now, I have work to do. And I really have to pee. I will keep you up-to-date,” Bones said as she stood up from behind her desk and walked to the other side.
“Alright sweetie. But you take it easy, you hear? You aren't just looking after yourself anymore. Now you have a little innocent baby depending on you, so don't over do it. Dinner after work to finish this discussion?” Angela asked as she backed out of the office.
“Sure,” Bones said as she grabbed her cellphone from her desk.
Angela nodded happily and was about to stride away before Bones' voice stopped her.
“Angie... Thanks for...”
Angela nodded and gave her boss a small smile.
“Brennan, I will always be here for you. What else are best friends for?”
And with that, she turned and walked back to her office.
Crossposted to boothandbrennan