yeah i know i'm a delinquent
been a while. sorry. nothing was good about this week.
I avoided church on Sunday. No one cared after all. I was inducted into Sigma Tau Delta on Tuesday. Mom came. She was supposed to stay for my birthday but had to go home early. Kelly was in the hospital. Dad forgot my birthday. Kelly called me from the hospital. I tried not to hate her. I'm still trying. It's hard, difficult even. Difficult to love her too.
on Thursday it felt like I was a character in that movie "elephant." ever seen it? if not, you should. the cinematography is awesome. i love the concepts. there is a lot of sound while you follow each character around. birds chirping, kids running through halls.. that kind of thing. I was walking across campus on thursday, trying to get to the english office so i could borrow Meg's phone and everything was so loud. people in classrooms, profs writing on chalkboards, people typing in the comp lab, birds outside, doors opening and closing, lectures, music from dorm rooms, more birds chirping, the "ding" of the elevator. My legs were moving but I felt like I was standing still. It was that surreal feeling that you are in a movie and you are watching everything happen but you aren't really there. dissociation. yeah, watch "elephant."
I'm wicked dizzy right now. I've been headachey and dizzy all day. I've been attempting to do work with Meghan and we both seem loopy. She has a lot of angst. I do too. Mostly I'm just sick. I finally just finished my portfolio. Yay for that. I still have to write two more papers and do a ton of photography work. I really wanted to get all A's this semester so that maybe I would have a chance to get Summa Cum Laude but then I realized that I don't think it's possible since I only have a 3.7 and I need a 3.85. Apparently I'm stuck with Magna Cum Laude. Which still doesn't seem good enough. And it's for me, not for anyone else. grrrrrrrr.
I guess we had a baby at the barn. Her name is NStart Constellation. "Stella" for short. Wicked cute. I can't wait to see her. I wonder if we'll keep her. Which reminds me, if anyone wants a more extensive explanation on why "senioritis" sucks.. read Mal's reply to my entry a few days ago. The girl is right in so many ways. Yeup.
And let's be honest, I have nothing to say. It's raining out. I love it. I wish I wasn't sick right now. I have so much to do.
I avoided church on Sunday. No one cared after all. I was inducted into Sigma Tau Delta on Tuesday. Mom came. She was supposed to stay for my birthday but had to go home early. Kelly was in the hospital. Dad forgot my birthday. Kelly called me from the hospital. I tried not to hate her. I'm still trying. It's hard, difficult even. Difficult to love her too.
on Thursday it felt like I was a character in that movie "elephant." ever seen it? if not, you should. the cinematography is awesome. i love the concepts. there is a lot of sound while you follow each character around. birds chirping, kids running through halls.. that kind of thing. I was walking across campus on thursday, trying to get to the english office so i could borrow Meg's phone and everything was so loud. people in classrooms, profs writing on chalkboards, people typing in the comp lab, birds outside, doors opening and closing, lectures, music from dorm rooms, more birds chirping, the "ding" of the elevator. My legs were moving but I felt like I was standing still. It was that surreal feeling that you are in a movie and you are watching everything happen but you aren't really there. dissociation. yeah, watch "elephant."
I'm wicked dizzy right now. I've been headachey and dizzy all day. I've been attempting to do work with Meghan and we both seem loopy. She has a lot of angst. I do too. Mostly I'm just sick. I finally just finished my portfolio. Yay for that. I still have to write two more papers and do a ton of photography work. I really wanted to get all A's this semester so that maybe I would have a chance to get Summa Cum Laude but then I realized that I don't think it's possible since I only have a 3.7 and I need a 3.85. Apparently I'm stuck with Magna Cum Laude. Which still doesn't seem good enough. And it's for me, not for anyone else. grrrrrrrr.
I guess we had a baby at the barn. Her name is NStart Constellation. "Stella" for short. Wicked cute. I can't wait to see her. I wonder if we'll keep her. Which reminds me, if anyone wants a more extensive explanation on why "senioritis" sucks.. read Mal's reply to my entry a few days ago. The girl is right in so many ways. Yeup.
And let's be honest, I have nothing to say. It's raining out. I love it. I wish I wasn't sick right now. I have so much to do.