(no subject)
i have a little me. my little cousin, caleigh, is me at 3.5 years old...except better. she's a redhead, loves ballet, and her favorite animal is the elephant. but im so jealous of her. yes, thats right, im jealous of a toddler. she's precocious (that word so aptly describes her, it amazes me), she has a wonderful older brother (who, by the way, is a dead ringer for chris), and shes so gorgeous. i feel the envy most when i think of all she has going for her and all she could do. i think it's mostly because i am having such doubts lately about my life and whether or not im living it right. i mean, i realize life won't be perfect for her; its not perfect for anyone. but its weird to see someone so like me and so little and so...new. i want to send her my angelina ballerina doll and a pair of my old pointe shoes and an elephant stuffed animal. i want to be a person in her life i wish i'd had in my life. i want her to learn from my mistakes. i want her to teach me a few things. i dont know where this is going, just, talking.
as a side note: i saw guster on thursday with randy! i loved them live. theres something about live music outside that's so powerful to me. and now, when i listen to the cd, its different. i feel closer to them, if that makes sense.
you know, i didnt write about cinderella. the tears hit when i got flowers on stage. ive never in my life gotten flowers on stage and i never expected it. it was such a little thing, but it meant so much. and then there was this little intimate moment right after the curtains closed and mrs r called forward all the seniors and gave them more flowers. and then it was just a tangle of people and arms and hugs and everyone was crying. you know, during the show, i was really nervous before going on stage, but i really just became calm as soon as i was dancing. i dont think ive ever really been that focused. it was a show of firsts and lasts. and you know, even mrs hacker started to cry. they were so proud of us. and that is quite the feeling...to be part of a cast they were proud of.
i hate having to conclude things nicely. from now on, if i have no more to say, im just stopping. no conclusions, no life lessons, no aphorisms, just
as a side note: i saw guster on thursday with randy! i loved them live. theres something about live music outside that's so powerful to me. and now, when i listen to the cd, its different. i feel closer to them, if that makes sense.
you know, i didnt write about cinderella. the tears hit when i got flowers on stage. ive never in my life gotten flowers on stage and i never expected it. it was such a little thing, but it meant so much. and then there was this little intimate moment right after the curtains closed and mrs r called forward all the seniors and gave them more flowers. and then it was just a tangle of people and arms and hugs and everyone was crying. you know, during the show, i was really nervous before going on stage, but i really just became calm as soon as i was dancing. i dont think ive ever really been that focused. it was a show of firsts and lasts. and you know, even mrs hacker started to cry. they were so proud of us. and that is quite the feeling...to be part of a cast they were proud of.
i hate having to conclude things nicely. from now on, if i have no more to say, im just stopping. no conclusions, no life lessons, no aphorisms, just