Bad Poster
It's been two weeks since I've updated. Oops! Life got kinda busy...no, not busy. Full. Yes. That's it. It got full.
Had Derek and Suzanne and Mike over a couple days before my birthday. That was fun. :) Hadn't seen Mike since...uh...my wedding day. Much too long. He's a funny guy, and I'd forgotten quite how much happier just having him around makes me. I don't have enough positive people around me. Anyway, Derek brought Guitar Hero 2 over, and we had fun playing that (though Derek thrashed us all quite soundly).
Had the male family persons over to have cake on my birthday, which would have been more fun had I mastered the art of making it impossible to discuss politics. Alas, I have not. I'm beginning to wonder if I can be around Charlie for very long without Jen. The last couple of times I've seen him, I got flashbacks to high school. He has sooooo much intensity, and I don't know if it gets worse when he's happy, or when he's stressed. He makes me feel bad frequently, and I know he doesn't mean to do it - he just doesn't see the way some of his comments will make other people feel. I'd really, really like to be good friends with my brother, but...er...I guess our interests and communication styles are a little too different. Or maybe he's just really stressed and can't help making everything negative. I don't know. But it makes me sad. :( I feel really bad that I haven't hung out with Jen since I've been back, too. But without a car, I don't want to call her up and say, "Hi, Jen - would you come pick me up and go through that whole awkward family-ish thing that'll crop up if you don't spend half an hour being weirded out by my mom?" It's not so spiffy an excuse, but she's gobs of busy/stressed without extra help.
I've been slacking in the hanging out with people department overall, actually. I had the lovely, lovely week when it was just me and Andy in the house (and occasionally, annoyingly the step-brother), and spent most of my time with him. Poor Andy. He's sooooooo lonely! There have been several times when I've been futzing around on the computer or watching tv, and turned around to find him doing something quietly behind me, just to be in the same room. In fact, I caught a nasty cold earlier this week, and actually had to physically kick him out of my room so I could rest because he just doesn't want to be alone. And I totally don't blame him! The parental-type units are crazy. (For example, my mom woke me up at one today - which is usually about the time I've been getting up, except she knows the last three nights I haven't gone to bed until after she got up to take Andy to school - to see if I wanted to run errands with her. At the groggy, sniffly sight of me, she frowned and asked me if my allergies were bothering me. I blinked at her. She carried on with something and I interjected, "It's not my allergies, I'm sick." She looked at me in confusion and asked if I needed some medicine from the store. This is after TWO DAYS of constant nose-blowing, moaning about the kitchen, and general grogginess, as well as multiple conversations about my being sick.) So I spent that week with him, this week getting and being sick, and the time before that acclimating to the home surroundings again.
Next week doesn't promise to be fun, either. My mom is driving Eric to California tomorrow so he can see his step-dad before he dies. Is very, very sad. And means Andy and I will be home with the mother's husband until Wednesday without interference. Ew. Every now and again, he proves to be a nice sort of guy...it by no means cancels out his usual dickishness, but it makes me wonder what level of alcohol is enough, but not too much. Sigh. They're both so constantly negative. He's got his one-up-manship and "I'm Cool" stories, and she's got her...well...she's her. The house was just starting to cleanse itself of the bad energy when they came home, and then it was instantly full up again with unhappiness. Blah. How much of a down payment does one need when purchasing a car to preclude a massive monthly payment? :P
Hmmmm...have had some heavy convos with Jeremy regarding...things. Poor thing is understandably depressed without me. I'm sure it doesn't help that half the time we talk, it's me complaining about the parental-type people. I'm embarking on a mission to alter the way in which I express myself to fix that. I despise that I spend a good portion of my discussions with other people complaining about how dumb certain people are, and how much my life sucks. There's only so much purging one can do before it becomes unhealthy. And annoying to others. :T
That is my new goal: To become a happy Holly, and a positive person that others enjoy being around. It'll be tricky, since the energy in the house seeps under the skin to make a person decidedly UNhappy, but I'm resolute. My environment will not drag me down with it! :D
Had Derek and Suzanne and Mike over a couple days before my birthday. That was fun. :) Hadn't seen Mike since...uh...my wedding day. Much too long. He's a funny guy, and I'd forgotten quite how much happier just having him around makes me. I don't have enough positive people around me. Anyway, Derek brought Guitar Hero 2 over, and we had fun playing that (though Derek thrashed us all quite soundly).
Had the male family persons over to have cake on my birthday, which would have been more fun had I mastered the art of making it impossible to discuss politics. Alas, I have not. I'm beginning to wonder if I can be around Charlie for very long without Jen. The last couple of times I've seen him, I got flashbacks to high school. He has sooooo much intensity, and I don't know if it gets worse when he's happy, or when he's stressed. He makes me feel bad frequently, and I know he doesn't mean to do it - he just doesn't see the way some of his comments will make other people feel. I'd really, really like to be good friends with my brother, but...er...I guess our interests and communication styles are a little too different. Or maybe he's just really stressed and can't help making everything negative. I don't know. But it makes me sad. :( I feel really bad that I haven't hung out with Jen since I've been back, too. But without a car, I don't want to call her up and say, "Hi, Jen - would you come pick me up and go through that whole awkward family-ish thing that'll crop up if you don't spend half an hour being weirded out by my mom?" It's not so spiffy an excuse, but she's gobs of busy/stressed without extra help.
I've been slacking in the hanging out with people department overall, actually. I had the lovely, lovely week when it was just me and Andy in the house (and occasionally, annoyingly the step-brother), and spent most of my time with him. Poor Andy. He's sooooooo lonely! There have been several times when I've been futzing around on the computer or watching tv, and turned around to find him doing something quietly behind me, just to be in the same room. In fact, I caught a nasty cold earlier this week, and actually had to physically kick him out of my room so I could rest because he just doesn't want to be alone. And I totally don't blame him! The parental-type units are crazy. (For example, my mom woke me up at one today - which is usually about the time I've been getting up, except she knows the last three nights I haven't gone to bed until after she got up to take Andy to school - to see if I wanted to run errands with her. At the groggy, sniffly sight of me, she frowned and asked me if my allergies were bothering me. I blinked at her. She carried on with something and I interjected, "It's not my allergies, I'm sick." She looked at me in confusion and asked if I needed some medicine from the store. This is after TWO DAYS of constant nose-blowing, moaning about the kitchen, and general grogginess, as well as multiple conversations about my being sick.) So I spent that week with him, this week getting and being sick, and the time before that acclimating to the home surroundings again.
Next week doesn't promise to be fun, either. My mom is driving Eric to California tomorrow so he can see his step-dad before he dies. Is very, very sad. And means Andy and I will be home with the mother's husband until Wednesday without interference. Ew. Every now and again, he proves to be a nice sort of guy...it by no means cancels out his usual dickishness, but it makes me wonder what level of alcohol is enough, but not too much. Sigh. They're both so constantly negative. He's got his one-up-manship and "I'm Cool" stories, and she's got her...well...she's her. The house was just starting to cleanse itself of the bad energy when they came home, and then it was instantly full up again with unhappiness. Blah. How much of a down payment does one need when purchasing a car to preclude a massive monthly payment? :P
Hmmmm...have had some heavy convos with Jeremy regarding...things. Poor thing is understandably depressed without me. I'm sure it doesn't help that half the time we talk, it's me complaining about the parental-type people. I'm embarking on a mission to alter the way in which I express myself to fix that. I despise that I spend a good portion of my discussions with other people complaining about how dumb certain people are, and how much my life sucks. There's only so much purging one can do before it becomes unhealthy. And annoying to others. :T
That is my new goal: To become a happy Holly, and a positive person that others enjoy being around. It'll be tricky, since the energy in the house seeps under the skin to make a person decidedly UNhappy, but I'm resolute. My environment will not drag me down with it! :D