Moving on
Well the weekend was fun and it was relaxing but now we are back in the reality of things where everything just waits for you to come home. Dont you ever wish that you could leave for a few days and when you got back home you would have no problems to tend to. I have often wished that and you know it never really comes true. As much as you want things to go away at some point you have to stop and actually deal with the probelm. Much easier said than done but in the end I think that it does all work out. I have sat at this computer countless times wondering what went wrong and what I could do to fix it. Well the answer right in front of my face this whole time. I cant fix it and maybe I really didnt do anything wrong.
I guess that we really did just grow a part in that sense. I have made a major decision to go back to school and it will be tough. I know that things will change and in the end I really dont think that we will be friends. I know that I will stay friends with everyone else that is invovled but no matter how you look at it there really is not a way to stay friends with someone that you once loved so much. Life is full of difficult things and this is just another bump in the road before I find that glorious reward that I have been seeking. I think that it takes a strong person to care about themselves but it takes a stronger person to care about others and that is what I am going to do. I will always care about Jeremy and I want to stop all this insaneness that has been going on this summer. I have made the attempt to do that now if only he can be an adult and work with me. I have been thinking about things and I know that it is hard to move on but I know that in order for me to move on I have to also have a bit of closure and I am trying to do that. So if he is not willing to at least talk to me one on one before I leave I have wrote a letter that I am going to send. It will be my new start, because I believe that I deserve to be happy again and I am ready to be happy. I am ready to move on with my life and today I will start.
I received this email with this quote from someone and this is what I want and this is what has helped me to see that I have to move on to find it. What is meant to be is meant to be
The quote is:
~"Someone out there was meant to be the love of your life, your best friend, your soul mate... the one you can tell your dreams to. He'll smile at you when you tell him, but he'll never laugh at your heart. He'll brush the hair out of your eyes and send you flowers when you least expect it. He'll call you to tell you goodnight before you go to sleep just because he was thinking of you. He'll look into your eyes and tell you that you're the most beautiful girl he has ever seen, and for the first time in your life ... you'll believe it..."
This is what I want and I hope that I find it out there somewhere, someday!