Comfort or is it really love?
Why is it that we often find ourselves pondering tons of thoughts after a break up? Like lately I have been wondering was I still with Jeremy because I loved him or was it because I was comfortable with him and that made it ok. I mean lets face it we all know that things between us were not the greatest about a month or so before we broke up. And I had been pondering the idea of saying that maybe we need our space for a while since like Janurary. So if that is the case why is it that I find myself so upset when he is around? Is it the fact that I really do miss him or am I afraid that he might actually move on with out me? I am not sure what it is but man isi t driving me crazy!!
I really thought that Friday was going to be a good night and I was actually excited about bowling with Tracy and having fun. Well I did end up having a good time but it was also a really hard time too. Not only was he at Scott and Tracy's when I should up he went to Kingpin also for a while. So me thinking I will be the bigger person and I will tell him you know I dont want to do this anymore. I really just want to get along while we are in the same room and let it be. So I tried and it didnt matter what I said he didnt want to listen. As can be expected I was upset about it and I told Tracy that I really just dont want to leave on bad terms, because not matter what we are going to be around each other and there is not a lot we can do about it. I asked her to talk to him and being the great friend that she is she did. She told me that he said he wanted the same thing but yet his actions do not speak that.
So later I am talking with people and come to find out not only was it his bitchy mother that didnt like me but yet I hear Oh by the way his dad hated you also. WOW!!!!!! What a shock that was I never in my life expected to hear that from anyone. So I guess that pretty much sums up why this would never have worked out between us because his parents didnt want it to. How on earth was I suppose to compete with them. I am positivly in a lose lose situation. I guess at least now that I know I can semi understand why he did it. So in the end I lose and they have their baby back all to themselves!
I really thought that Friday was going to be a good night and I was actually excited about bowling with Tracy and having fun. Well I did end up having a good time but it was also a really hard time too. Not only was he at Scott and Tracy's when I should up he went to Kingpin also for a while. So me thinking I will be the bigger person and I will tell him you know I dont want to do this anymore. I really just want to get along while we are in the same room and let it be. So I tried and it didnt matter what I said he didnt want to listen. As can be expected I was upset about it and I told Tracy that I really just dont want to leave on bad terms, because not matter what we are going to be around each other and there is not a lot we can do about it. I asked her to talk to him and being the great friend that she is she did. She told me that he said he wanted the same thing but yet his actions do not speak that.
So later I am talking with people and come to find out not only was it his bitchy mother that didnt like me but yet I hear Oh by the way his dad hated you also. WOW!!!!!! What a shock that was I never in my life expected to hear that from anyone. So I guess that pretty much sums up why this would never have worked out between us because his parents didnt want it to. How on earth was I suppose to compete with them. I am positivly in a lose lose situation. I guess at least now that I know I can semi understand why he did it. So in the end I lose and they have their baby back all to themselves!