Utter Silence
SILENCE. I sit here on this computer and that is all that I hear is silence. Its good sometimes to have that but then again there are time when it is really bad. I think that I am in the middle on that. Its good in that I need to collect myself and start that run that I need to do, but it is bad in that I feel so alone. Really I do I just feel like there is no one out there that understands, no one that I can really talk to and so that is why I type. If I didnt have this thing to control my thoughts under I dont know what I would be doing. In one sense it is good that I have this alone feeling to find out who i really am. I mean do I know who I am. Im not even sure that I do. So if I dont know who I am how do other people know me. I mean i hear all sorts of things i hear that I am a really good person and kind and good hearted but then I hear you are nothing but a spoiled brat that gets everyhting that she wants or you really need to grow up or did you know that your a bitch.
Well you know what those things really hurt. I mean really. Its like I am not suppose to have feelings or something but I do. And I am sorry that people tend to give me the things that i want but I am appreciative of that. I guess other people jsut dont care how they make me feel at times. If only they knew that the things they are laughing about are the same things that make me cry inside!
Well you know what those things really hurt. I mean really. Its like I am not suppose to have feelings or something but I do. And I am sorry that people tend to give me the things that i want but I am appreciative of that. I guess other people jsut dont care how they make me feel at times. If only they knew that the things they are laughing about are the same things that make me cry inside!