AAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
People really do suck right now. So I am minding me own buisness and I get told that I need to learn how to deal. What the hell is up with that. At this point if I had the nerve to say what I wanted to you this is how it would go:
I dont need to learn how to deal with anything at the moment. If I want to be upset about my life, or pout, or try to get mad then that is what I will do. Why should I drop everything so that you feel like you have been comforted. Stop bothering me and let me live my life. I have to do what is best for me at this point and you always wanting to know "Whats up" is not what I need. It was your idea and now you need to learn how to live with it. I am doing the best that I can at this point and that is all that there is to that. I hate everyminute of this and NO I AM NOT OK!!!!!!!!
Can I make that point any clearer! Yes I want to go out and have way to much to drink so that all the thoughts of us will stop going through my head and I wont think about how happy you made me. Thats what I want! I want it all to go away and just leave me alone. Almost like it never happened and you never made me happy. I cant be mad at you because well i jsut cant. You know what would make me better it would make me better if you felt as hurt as I do in this very moment. Yes that is what would make me feel a little better. I want you to know how it feels to be left standing there with tears running donw your red face wondering what did I do that was so wrong. What more could I have done for you, I mean really what is it?? And yet in the end that still will not make the pain go away. I will still yern to have you by myside and I will still want to share all those memories with you or make new ones. I want to be happy for you and know that you are happy. People say that being mad at you would be good for me but I cant, I just cant be mad at you. I love and care about you much too deeply to do that. So thats it thats what I wanted to say and no it really didnt make me feel any better!
Yes this is what I want to say and have not done it. God knows I want to but I just cant.
I dont need to learn how to deal with anything at the moment. If I want to be upset about my life, or pout, or try to get mad then that is what I will do. Why should I drop everything so that you feel like you have been comforted. Stop bothering me and let me live my life. I have to do what is best for me at this point and you always wanting to know "Whats up" is not what I need. It was your idea and now you need to learn how to live with it. I am doing the best that I can at this point and that is all that there is to that. I hate everyminute of this and NO I AM NOT OK!!!!!!!!
Can I make that point any clearer! Yes I want to go out and have way to much to drink so that all the thoughts of us will stop going through my head and I wont think about how happy you made me. Thats what I want! I want it all to go away and just leave me alone. Almost like it never happened and you never made me happy. I cant be mad at you because well i jsut cant. You know what would make me better it would make me better if you felt as hurt as I do in this very moment. Yes that is what would make me feel a little better. I want you to know how it feels to be left standing there with tears running donw your red face wondering what did I do that was so wrong. What more could I have done for you, I mean really what is it?? And yet in the end that still will not make the pain go away. I will still yern to have you by myside and I will still want to share all those memories with you or make new ones. I want to be happy for you and know that you are happy. People say that being mad at you would be good for me but I cant, I just cant be mad at you. I love and care about you much too deeply to do that. So thats it thats what I wanted to say and no it really didnt make me feel any better!
Yes this is what I want to say and have not done it. God knows I want to but I just cant.