i really can't stay, but baby its cold outside.....
its cold as piss right now in this room. i mean do my parents not believe in heat? or is there a drafty window i'm not aware of? i have a final tomorrow and i'm at the point were i am doing everything i can not to study. usually the night before a test are some of my more productive nites. i try to do everything i can to put off studying as long as possible. i mean how can one dread something so much? studyings not really that bad when you actually do it, i think its more the thought of it that puts a knot in my stomach. and i am writing again sooner than i normally do, but yesterday i wrote and accidently posted before i was finished. it was an electronic fopah.
avoidance. i feel like i avoid things. i avoid things instead of dealing with them. i push them to the back of my brain until they cant breath or see the light of day. i leave them there for a while allow them to collect dust, but they always come back. things always have a way of resurfacing. and when they resurface they are a tangled mass. its always better to deal with things as they come instead of years later. but for some reason i cant seem to get that.
i went shopping today. i was lost in the hustle and bustle of the holiday crowd. i went, i looked, and i came out lacking. my friend from work told me there were these pants at old navy for $12.99. long and short of it, she was lying. there were no pants for that price. i dont like old navy pants, i think there too short. but today i can to a realization. maybe its not the pants, maybe its my fat a** that the pants dont look good on. i dont know, i just ripped them off in frustration and left the dressing room steaming. so today i went to tj max, sometimes i love going to that place. i love hunting through the racks and racks of sweaters and shirts. that place is confusing, for real. and you have to really be in the mood to walk into that ruckus. but today i had full confidence i could handle it. so it was so crowded. me and like 10 other people were on the same rack looking for shirts. theres always a mexican lady there with her 3 kids and there running all around and hiding in the racks of clothes. you pull back a sweater and see a little smiling mexican boy staring back at you. and some how when your in that confined space with so many strange people, the temperature raises like 100 degrees and it starts to smell like fart. it always smells like fart. i mean do people not have manners. alteast go to a secluded corner of the store. so your thumbing through the racks looking for a bargain with one hand on your nose, pinching it together, to keep the stench from permeating your nostrils. so i had to peace that place out. i was starting to get claustrophobic. and i never thought i was until this summer, when i found myself in a small cave about as small as the space between your bed, 50 ft under the ground. it freaked the heck out of me. literally i thought i was going to die. i couldnt breath, the air was so thin. so yeah then i decided to give ross for less a try. every once and a while you can find something cool there. i was looking for brown shoes. well im going to the asile where my shoe size is and theres this lady smack dab in the middle of the aisle. her and her dang baby, who was screaming at the top of his lungs. smack in the middle of the aisle. what was i to do?i dont know thats just rude. do people have no manners? i mean i needed to get by and her and her baby and her shopping cart were in my way. ok well thats all i got. later.
avoidance. i feel like i avoid things. i avoid things instead of dealing with them. i push them to the back of my brain until they cant breath or see the light of day. i leave them there for a while allow them to collect dust, but they always come back. things always have a way of resurfacing. and when they resurface they are a tangled mass. its always better to deal with things as they come instead of years later. but for some reason i cant seem to get that.
i went shopping today. i was lost in the hustle and bustle of the holiday crowd. i went, i looked, and i came out lacking. my friend from work told me there were these pants at old navy for $12.99. long and short of it, she was lying. there were no pants for that price. i dont like old navy pants, i think there too short. but today i can to a realization. maybe its not the pants, maybe its my fat a** that the pants dont look good on. i dont know, i just ripped them off in frustration and left the dressing room steaming. so today i went to tj max, sometimes i love going to that place. i love hunting through the racks and racks of sweaters and shirts. that place is confusing, for real. and you have to really be in the mood to walk into that ruckus. but today i had full confidence i could handle it. so it was so crowded. me and like 10 other people were on the same rack looking for shirts. theres always a mexican lady there with her 3 kids and there running all around and hiding in the racks of clothes. you pull back a sweater and see a little smiling mexican boy staring back at you. and some how when your in that confined space with so many strange people, the temperature raises like 100 degrees and it starts to smell like fart. it always smells like fart. i mean do people not have manners. alteast go to a secluded corner of the store. so your thumbing through the racks looking for a bargain with one hand on your nose, pinching it together, to keep the stench from permeating your nostrils. so i had to peace that place out. i was starting to get claustrophobic. and i never thought i was until this summer, when i found myself in a small cave about as small as the space between your bed, 50 ft under the ground. it freaked the heck out of me. literally i thought i was going to die. i couldnt breath, the air was so thin. so yeah then i decided to give ross for less a try. every once and a while you can find something cool there. i was looking for brown shoes. well im going to the asile where my shoe size is and theres this lady smack dab in the middle of the aisle. her and her dang baby, who was screaming at the top of his lungs. smack in the middle of the aisle. what was i to do?i dont know thats just rude. do people have no manners? i mean i needed to get by and her and her baby and her shopping cart were in my way. ok well thats all i got. later.