Another late night nirvana
I'm having one of those pure moments again.. I feel so peaceful.. So much easier to enjoy and appreciate music when I'm like this. Shame I don't feel this way say.. when I'm at work. I used to.. but I was self medicated (heavily might I add) on a daily basis. Sometimes I think of hording a huge amount of hash or even weed (which I can get with some effort) and going back to my old lifestyle. Hell, it worked for a while as long as I kept my hours regular. But then again.. I might flip out again and I'd hate to start from scratch again.
*sigh*
Perhaps all I need is a change.. or a looooong vacation. I need to work something out. Looking for a new job.. I've had a couple of interviews and hopefully I'll be out of Comverse within less than a month. I can't even stand the thought of going there more than that. I've been offered to quit and get paid for 3 weeks without coming in but that would be a risk. Told my boss I'd get back to him on that one. They can tell I hate every second of being in that place and they also sympathize. If it weren't for their fluffy paychecks they'd be outta there too.
Classical music seems to be all I can listen to lately without getting irritable. I love playing it as well. Feels so good when it actually sounds like something. But very hard to get into the insides of a piece. I've been working on a piece by Agustin Barrios - "La Catedral". 3 beautiful movements and I've nearly mastered 2 of them. The 3rd one will take a few more months or even a year till I can play it with the required depth. Also playing a Bach Fugue - (BWV 1000). I am addicted to it. I keep replaying the damn thing in my head and I can almost get it right in my head, but to actually perform it... express all the ideas in it.. it would take me at least a year. Technically it's not very challenging, but the depth.. the intricacies in it.. it's astounding. Fuck me. And my teacher drives me crazy!! He starts off being pretty clear - "here: crescendo, here: slow down.. then up to tempo.." but then something possesses him and he starts singing and making strange sounds: "this theme has to be.. playful!! and then... intense.. like.. pa pa pa PA pa Fim fim fim fu fu fu fa fa la laLALALALA PAPAAPAPAPAAPPAAPAPAPA PAPAPAaPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - you see?" and I just look at him and nod... oh well.
Oh and GOD BLESS YOUTUBE. It has saved my life.
-s
*sigh*
Perhaps all I need is a change.. or a looooong vacation. I need to work something out. Looking for a new job.. I've had a couple of interviews and hopefully I'll be out of Comverse within less than a month. I can't even stand the thought of going there more than that. I've been offered to quit and get paid for 3 weeks without coming in but that would be a risk. Told my boss I'd get back to him on that one. They can tell I hate every second of being in that place and they also sympathize. If it weren't for their fluffy paychecks they'd be outta there too.
Classical music seems to be all I can listen to lately without getting irritable. I love playing it as well. Feels so good when it actually sounds like something. But very hard to get into the insides of a piece. I've been working on a piece by Agustin Barrios - "La Catedral". 3 beautiful movements and I've nearly mastered 2 of them. The 3rd one will take a few more months or even a year till I can play it with the required depth. Also playing a Bach Fugue - (BWV 1000). I am addicted to it. I keep replaying the damn thing in my head and I can almost get it right in my head, but to actually perform it... express all the ideas in it.. it would take me at least a year. Technically it's not very challenging, but the depth.. the intricacies in it.. it's astounding. Fuck me. And my teacher drives me crazy!! He starts off being pretty clear - "here: crescendo, here: slow down.. then up to tempo.." but then something possesses him and he starts singing and making strange sounds: "this theme has to be.. playful!! and then... intense.. like.. pa pa pa PA pa Fim fim fim fu fu fu fa fa la laLALALALA PAPAAPAPAPAAPPAAPAPAPA PAPAPAaPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - you see?" and I just look at him and nod... oh well.
Oh and GOD BLESS YOUTUBE. It has saved my life.
-s