relationships with him
God floats and flexes for me. Part of my faith seems to be to vigorously defend God from much definition at all. I can't get stuck on what I expect him to be. He's the highest concept, an unbound symbol. A weird special word with a different class of mental operations. Might make sense if you're a programmer.
Life happens & God happens. I could easily drop the word, and I do indeed choose different words. Grace. Love. Chaos. Goodness. Death. Struggle. Paint. Ok I lost you right? CMON!
I use God when I am stuck being a being. I am. I start from there. I project. The ultimate answer, the completest system, the biggest explanation, I hereby address you. If I'm going to have private thoughts, I consider these among my most effective. When I address all of it as though it were alive and overlapping with me. Containing me. It's at least myself. It's at least that much of a being. And I seem to be more than I realize. I also seem to be mostly an illusion. A category. A byproduct of language. Systems phenomena. Many-me's, unified by storytelling and common location. And secret evidence of an inner eye. Nowhere. Anywhere. Again and again, you and you and you? How! How not!
This inner eye, such a similar mystery to the eye in the sky, does it loop around? How fun. The brains!
Calming down. I think the most important thing about a God, as opposed to a truth, a system, or whatever, is relationship. I am only just learning my thing-ness. It is tricky. If I am just a pattern, what happens when I behold this idea. It seems I can pre-authorize some evil shit. It's feedback loops, and it's alive! I seem to have a responsibility to remember I have choice. So I can't do the thing-ness, but I can do "beings" pretty well and can manage my interactions well in that sphere. If he's not so much like me in the end, that's fine. I may not be so much like me either. Maybe we'll meet in the middle, we'll float and flex together, me and Mr. Life and All That.
I don't seem to care what he is, and I don't think he cares that I'm correct. I don't think he does me any favors or makes it very easy. I don't think he considers it a virtue to keep some sort of "faith" about him. I'll see him how I see him. That'll change as it does. He just wants me to stay engaged, share myself. Chew him out, blame him. Just stay engaged. He IS to blame. He is willing to take it, but he is willing to be part of the solution too. Whole 9 yards is he. What faith is required even? Just surrender and continuous relationship.
Life happens & God happens. I could easily drop the word, and I do indeed choose different words. Grace. Love. Chaos. Goodness. Death. Struggle. Paint. Ok I lost you right? CMON!
I use God when I am stuck being a being. I am. I start from there. I project. The ultimate answer, the completest system, the biggest explanation, I hereby address you. If I'm going to have private thoughts, I consider these among my most effective. When I address all of it as though it were alive and overlapping with me. Containing me. It's at least myself. It's at least that much of a being. And I seem to be more than I realize. I also seem to be mostly an illusion. A category. A byproduct of language. Systems phenomena. Many-me's, unified by storytelling and common location. And secret evidence of an inner eye. Nowhere. Anywhere. Again and again, you and you and you? How! How not!
This inner eye, such a similar mystery to the eye in the sky, does it loop around? How fun. The brains!
Calming down. I think the most important thing about a God, as opposed to a truth, a system, or whatever, is relationship. I am only just learning my thing-ness. It is tricky. If I am just a pattern, what happens when I behold this idea. It seems I can pre-authorize some evil shit. It's feedback loops, and it's alive! I seem to have a responsibility to remember I have choice. So I can't do the thing-ness, but I can do "beings" pretty well and can manage my interactions well in that sphere. If he's not so much like me in the end, that's fine. I may not be so much like me either. Maybe we'll meet in the middle, we'll float and flex together, me and Mr. Life and All That.
I don't seem to care what he is, and I don't think he cares that I'm correct. I don't think he does me any favors or makes it very easy. I don't think he considers it a virtue to keep some sort of "faith" about him. I'll see him how I see him. That'll change as it does. He just wants me to stay engaged, share myself. Chew him out, blame him. Just stay engaged. He IS to blame. He is willing to take it, but he is willing to be part of the solution too. Whole 9 yards is he. What faith is required even? Just surrender and continuous relationship.