On Birthdays [mostly Tamaki centric, with a little light tama x haru fluff.]
i posted this before, on a messege board at 'for richer or poorer'.
This is a Complete six chapter fanfic i was gonna actually make into a doujin, but i'm rather too ambitious for my own ability, i might get round to trying to draw it, but chances are, i'll be eternally scared off by inadequacy.
i have never posted a fanfic before. and this is only the second one i have ever written. I have a degree in Chemistry, English was only kinda a subject i was good at XD so excuse all clumsy sentences.
i tried to keep everyone in character, i think perhaps at points i made Tamaki too miserable, and Haruhi too concerned, but i tried to make it a logical follow on from events in the latest manga chapters, so knowing about those will help this make much more sense. i'm posting all the chapters here. Though i dunno if any of you will bother to read it all, it is kinda long XD
On Birthdays
Chapter 1- In which Tamaki recalls a sulk.
Tamaki sat under the gilded window and frowned. He had only been at the new house in Japan for what seemed like 10 minutes, (though in reality it must have been a couple of hours) and he was already upset.
He had promised his mother he would be strong for her. He had promised himself he would uphold his own standards, a mantra of ideals he held in almost as high esteem as his fine blonde features, but he was finding it was hard to stick to these in the new alien world he had been sent to.
His father was friendly yet distant, odd and enigmatic, Tamaki was not sure how to think or what to do or say in his company. Tamaki was, and had always been, over aware of what was necessary to please, he had learned that quickly, it was a life skill in a world of pointed looks and disapproving nods.
While a second and third warm tear drizzled slowly out of the boy’s down-tilted deep cornflower blue eyes, he recalled how scarce 5 minutes previous (it was in reality probably 15 or more minutes) he had been introducing himself to the housekeepers of the mansion, when he had spotted from the corner of his eye, another stunning lady, grey haired, certainly of later years, but with eyes which sparkled with fire.
He had immediately given the new audience a winning bow and flourish, a few dazzling compliments and greeting her hand gracefully, a deep and sincere smile, and yet, somehow, against all odds, she had given the coldest stare, the hardest deepest biting comments upon his mother, and an order, never to show his deeply distasteful face, and brazen manner to her ever again. So this had been his father’s mother it seemed. And he had done something terribly wrong to offend her. He pondered her graceful beautiful features again. He was very glad to know there were so many beautiful ladies he had inherited his looks from.
Still, this was much a set back to him, he had wanted to blend seamlessly into his new environment, his Japanese was so well practiced no one had even commented he had an accent.
He had decided he couldn’t let the harsh words hurt him, he knew the circumstances of his questionable birth was of much pain to his father’s mother, and the rest of the family, he also knew he was deeply proud of his mother, and only wanted the best for her. For her he could carry the words and still be proud to be whom he was.
Sitting in one of the pink corners of the third music room, some 4 years later, Tamaki recalled how in some ways, nothing had really changed since that day, he had been forced to live apart from the rest of the family, cocooned in his own private world of maids and housekeepers, raising him like a small army of mothers, there was enough beauty surrounding him to keep him smiling, and yet it had all been very lonely.
In other ways however, he noted, gazing across sharply at a small dark-haired presence and flushing violently, things had changed a great deal.
Chapter 2 - In which Haruhi Puzzles over a smile.
His eyes guarded under floppy blonde locks, Tamaki met eyes with the unexpected seventh host club member. Huge determined brown eyes blinked at him, looking instantly surprised then increasingly irked.
Tamaki’s infallible wall of charm had crumbled under the weight of the commoner’s presence, and his wide blue eyes showed straight thorough to waves of innocent shy embarrassment. He was quick to look away, Haruhi could be deeply unsettling to him at times, stirring him up in ways he couldn’t really explain or quantify. He was famously good with women; he knew what to do, what to say, and how far to go to please them. But with Haruhi, not only did the normal levels of charm no even make a register in her face, other than distain or fright, but he seemed to offend her with all the efforts he made to get others to accept her and her quaint commoner ways.
Tamaki couldn’t keep her in his head for long these days, without starting to get horrifically confused. He wanted only the best for Haruhi, He found himself holding her above all others, and wanting to see her, and to see her smile, but thinking why made him feel odd, and slightly ill, so he tended to skim over it, and not worry. After all, she was his daughter, his precious little girl, and these were things a good father wanted for his child. He definitely didn’t stop to ponder the more terrifying thoughts that sometimes filled his head featuring Haruhi; he vehemently asserted he was no pervert. His better nature won out most of the time.
Being out of his depth was not something Tamaki was used to. Even when the odds were stacked against him, if he knew his place, he could chip away at any wall, and make some progress, But with Haruhi, He had no idea where he stood, indeed it seemed, none of them did, but the rest of the host club did not seem as preoccupied about this as Tamaki did.
Haruhi stood suddenly and walked over to where Tamaki seemed to be sulking, Tamaki noticed with a slight panic, trying to compose himself to more usual levels as quickly as possible.
She peered at him with slightly glazed disapproving eyes.
‘Sempai! Why are you sat out when the rest of us are working? There’s an ever increasing group of girls waiting for you.’
Tamaki remained quiet for a moment and smiled. It was an admirable effort at a smile, and it would have fooled anyone but Haruhi.
Standing, he walked over to the growing group of girls, now around seven or eight as far as Haruhi could tell, He was posturing, all angled wrists and arms, swished hair and sparkles.
He seemed fine, but the smile had not been an entirely happy one. And Tamaki was not one to seem anything other than entirely happy.
Thinking for a moment, Haruhi looked over at Kyouya, He was, of course, beadily watching her and Tamaki from a distance, though the glasses shone in a way that suggested he was concentrating on a clipboard of figures. Haruhi wondered what he was thinking behind that board. As a wealth of Personal knowledge, she surmised he might have a clue as to why Tamaki was trying to hide some sadness.
“Uh… Kyouya Sempai…”
Kyouya was peering down thorough his thin rimmed glasses. Perhaps he hadn’t been watching after all… Haruhi shook her self a tiny bit. Of course he was watching… even if he wasn’t really watching, he would know exactly what she had been doing. He knew EVERYTHING.
“mmmm...?” Kyouya raised one eyebrow, but did not look away from the folder.
Suddenly Haruhi realised the precarious nature of her question to Kyouya. Ask something about Tamaki, and risk being questioned in return. Then of course, that would then attract the twins, and then everything would be blown way out of proportion…
What should she ask as to not look like she was after information…
It was no use; she would have to try figure it out herself.
“Oh nothing much… I was erm… wondering what my latest debt figure was…”
Good comeback! He would enjoy telling her how much extra debt she had accrued.
Haruhi stopped listening to Kyouya’s list of personal bills for flowers, costumes and the like. She had a sinking suspicion she would never pay off this debt, and indeed, it seemed increasingly less likely they actually wanted her to pay the debt, She was now seemingly there just… because. Only Kyouya seemed bothered about it now, Haruhi certainly didn’t want to bother herself worrying about it anymore.
‘It keeps him happy at least.’ She surmised.
Meanwhile, she occupied herself with possible reasons Tamaki could be upset. A second and a half later, she stopped.
‘Ah…’ she thought,
she realised how often she had seen him sat in that very same corner, sometimes for the most ridiculously minor things ‘It could be literally anything, couldn’t it?'
She let out an audible sigh. Kyouya probably noticed, he had stopped reciting his list now.
‘Is something else the matter?’ He asked, a wry smile on his face.
“Uh… nothing!” She said, slightly panicked.
“Uhhhhhhhh… Haruhi… there you are!” Two voices said in unison.
Great, more complications. With those two confusing her, Kyouya would probably try interrogation tactics. Time to escape…
“Hikaru, Kaoru, I have to go back to my clients, I’ll talk to you two a bit later.”
“awwww… you’re no fun!” Hikaru said in return, but he was talking to her back, Haruhi was busy apologising to Kurakano-san already, and was about to pour her some tea.
Chapter 3 - In which Kyouya is fooled
Kyouya looked over to Tamaki, who despite chatting amiably to his ladies, was ocassionally glancing over to Haruhi with doleful eyes.
Thankfully his clients didn’t notice, another Moe rampage of Kasonoda proportions was not what Kyouya wanted Tamaki to produce. Thinking Tamaki was gay would disappoint over half the host club clientele, and that wouldn’t produce good figures.
His current fatherly attitude was holding up very well under all kinds of strain that Tamaki seemed to fall under, almost always under the conviction of his own stupid mouth, or skewed thought processes.
It was good for them all that it did, Kyouya reasoned, jotting down some notes to himself on the subject while he was thinking. If Tamaki were to fully realise the true gravity of his feelings, He would not only make trouble for the club, but for Haruhi too, and himself. He was better off not being aware. At least until the host club broke of it’s own volition. Then he could do as he liked, within reason.
But still, there was something about Tamaki’s innocent doleful eyes that could burn down into even Kyouya’s thoughts, reaching for heartstrings to pull.
He did the best job of resisting the puppy-eyes that he possibly could, but as often as not he caved in to the latest desire of Tamaki’s ever changing mind, with many heavy leaden sighs.
It looked like today would be one of those days. Haruhi had obviously noticed something odd with Tamaki today, and was trying to ask about it. But of course, she would never ask about Tamaki. He expected that.
He looked ok… just… a bit lovelorn. But that was pretty usual as of late. Besides, the customers would be leaving shortly, he would enquire casually then.
* * *
Looking deeply at the floor, after the last of his clients had left, Tamaki sat thinking back to the first day in Japan once again.
His mother’s tears stayed with him, but he felt sure he would see her again someday, somehow, and then she would smile for him, and it would be ok. He hoped.
Today was his mother’s birthday and he could do nothing about it. He had decided not to say anything again this year, as there seemed no point, there was nothing he could do to see her, to wish her happy birthday, other than in his head, for himself. His father always made himself especially busy around this time too, not that he felt it proper to talk to his father about her.
And anyway, why make others sad about something as personal as this?
Still, something in his head was suggesting he tell someone this year. Although, strictly speaking, it wasn’t just ‘someone’ his mind was suggesting. It was her again; Haruhi was messing with his nicely arranged well learnt boundaries, and turning his thoughts in circles.
He had already fantasised 5 times this morning of imparting his sad story to her, and her comforting him with warm tear-stained hugs. As usual, thoughts of hugging Haruhi left him feeling happy, but oddly bereft, and even more despondent.
But he couldn’t ever be as cheap as to go against the wishes of his mother. He swore he would be strong, and he would. Besides, bringing Haruhi into his arms with such a story, however wonderful the outcome, was just not… right. Perhaps it was strange that a daughter should console a father…
Tamaki shook his head unconsciously, he’d got confused about this all before, and still not really come to a conclusion, it was probably best he forgot about the current train of thought.
As he searched his mind for a way to get out of the rut she was somehow dragging him into, Kyouya suddenly loomed overhead like a dark cloud.
“Anything the matter Tamaki?” he enquired. Tamaki noted deep inside the usual clear poker-straight expression there was a tiny note of concern. That was enough to help him smile.
“No! Nothing at all! In fact, I’m going to do some more research into commoner games tonight!” it wasn’t exactly a lie, he did intend on doing just that, later on.
Tamaki’s smile was full of the usual fuzzy idiocy, Kyouya blinked and turned around.
“You could spend some time thinking into some more host club themes if you have time to do that.” He said pointedly.
Haruhi must have been mistaken.
Chapter 4 - In which Haruhi listens to the piano.
Haruhi talked absently to Hikaru about Kaoru’s (and his own) new favourite type of commoner coffee.
(It had been on offer at the supermarket this week, but had become an instant hit (no pun intended -.-))
Honey and Mori had gone early, Honey to practice martial arts at home, and Mori to practice Kendo, He also, apparently, had to fetch his brother, but it was only by Honey divulging information, that anyone learnt anything about Mori.
As the others left, Haruhi went to pick up her bag from the back room.
She had tried to forget about Tamaki’s pained smile through talking to Kurakano-san, but had, infuriatingly, for reasons unknown, not managed to shake the odd expression out of her head. She had not seen him leave, but he didn’t seem to still be there when she entered the backroom. He usually said goodbye to her with a great flourish, so it was odd that he would just leave. Unless he was busy. Haruhi gave a small giggle in spite of herself,
He was always busy, but it was what he was busy with that was usually pointless and ridiculous, and not worth the effort.
Well, at least sometimes it was, she corrected herself subconsciously.
her thoughts then suddenly turned to the kiss Tamaki had planted on her forehead, it was odd how she still occasionally thought back to that, she would never know what prompted him to do that it seemed. She sighed despite herself, and wandered back to the door, chiding herself for thinking this much about the dopey blonde leader of the host club. She would go home, and have the beef stew she had been thinking about all day, and do her homework.
She was smiling when she opened the door at the thought.
Something caught her senses the minute the door was ajar, it was an oddly haunting sound, tinged with sorrow and loss, Haruhi found herself stood mouth suddenly slightly agape, listening to the beautiful melody she was confronted with.
The music room was being used?
She shuffled to the door as quickly as possible, embarrassed to hear what seemed to be a deeply heartfelt rendition of a lullaby by one of the western great composers, probably Brahms.
Even if she wasn’t sure of the piece, it seemed quite personal.
As she opened the door to leave, she cast a glance to the player, wondering who was such an accomplished Pianist.
She dropped her bag again.
Tamaki was playing to himself. And suddenly, Haruhi realised she had been immersed into the past with him, hearing the songs he played his ailing mother, while he stayed in; ignoring the childhood he was supposed to be enjoying, to be by her side.
She should have known it was him, perhaps that was why she looked across to see who was playing. She knew of course he was good at piano, but the feeling he was pouring into this song stirred sadness within her.
He hadn’t noticed her, she could slip out the door, and perhaps a few months or weeks ago she might have convinced herself she could, but she decided it was best to go ask him if he was ok, even if it was just to make herself feel better about then leaving.
Taking a deep breath, still wondering if she really ought to interrupt, Haruhi wandered over to the piano to confront Tamaki.
Chapter 5 - In which a question is asked.
Tamaki was not thinking about anything other than playing, when he suddenly sensed someone else near him. As he casually looked up, expecting to see Kyouya, he instead saw those familiar large dark round eyes looking right back at him and she looked unsure and embarrassed.
Seeing her look so heart-wrenchingly cute sent him into waves of crimson blushes once again, This time it wasn’t a daydream, she was actually stood there, and now he had no idea what the heck to say to her, He had to be positive, even though he realised she would know now he was feeling low today. She had raised a tiny blush to her cheeks which sent him into a state of semi-delirium.
She was so insanely cute! He resisted for the millionth time, since he’d met her, picking her up and very tightly hugging her tiny cute little self for the rest of his blissful life.
Haruhi saw Tamaki blush, and panicked, he must have been embarrassed… in turn she also blushed in embarrassment, and almost turned to go.
“Haruhi…”
Tamaki’s voice was a little wobbly, but it often was when he worked himself up.
“Sempai… I um… You play very well.”
Haruhi had partially chickened out. He’d probably tell her what was wrong in a second anyway she reasoned. She didn’t want to prompt a melodrama out of him.
“Thank you!” He started. “I didn’t think anyone was here… My mother was particularly fond of that piece.”
His face had started off quite sad, but recovered remarkably quickly, in fact, the smile he gave was as sure as usual, as bright and full of confidence.
Unexpected though his response was, Haruhi smiled.
“It sounded familiar to me somehow.” Haruhi said wistfully, “I can see why she’d like it.”
Tamaki positively beamed back at her, with him looking much happier, Haruhi felt better about leaving him there. As she turned, he spoke again.
“Haruhi?” Tamaki’s eyes were full of sudden seriousness.
“Uh... yes?” She said cautiously, unsure as usual, of what he would say next.
“A while ago during the culture festival I asked if you’d like to see some photos of my mother…” He seemed to be slightly shuffling his feet.
“Of course Sempai” Haruhi said smiling again.
Wait… did he mean now?
“Today’s her birthday. I think today might be a good day for you to see her. She’s very beautiful you know, I know she’d have liked you.”
Haruhi’s heart gave a heavy sigh. Her birthday? Again, his attitude to it all astounded her, He wanted to cherish the memories of his mother, he didn’t seem fazed by the sadness in his life. She felt kind of happy he wanted to share the photos with her.
Haruhi picked up her bag and followed a now highly bouncy Tamaki to the door; she’d have to forget about the stew for now.
Chapter 6 - In which Memories are cherished
Haruhi had seen the stunning blonde lady before, When Tamaki had been ill with a cold, she had found a photo of himself and his mother, they looked so happy, she hadn’t known really what to say. But Tamaki seemed to have forgotten that fact, but then, he seemed to have forgotten a lot about his cold, she noted again.
As he opened a large wooden box that he retrieved from under his bed, he smiled. There were bundles of photographs inside, a few other objects, including a few pressed flowers, a few coins, a yellow yoyo, and some letters, though they didn’t seem to have envelopes with them.
He sat opposite Haruhi, his eyes wide with pride, and spread out a few photos in front of her. The photos looked fairly old, and the woman within them was young, smiling, and lovely. The resemblance to Tamaki was obvious; He seemed to share most of his facial features with her, including the smile she happily displayed. Haruhi wondered if he realised that fact. Every time he smiled, it was as if she was smiling thorough him.
Haruhi’s heart suddenly felt very heavy, it had all reminded her of her own mother, and how she wanted so badly to follow her, to succeed as she did.
‘I may find him hard to understand at times’ Haruhi thought to herself, ‘But I do share something with Tamaki, the loss of a mother. Even if it wasn’t though death in Tamaki’s case, and the feeling of wanting to do well for her sake.’
“My grandma doesn’t know I have these.” Tamaki said, quietly and cautiously.
“Would she take them off you?” Haruhi said quietly, concerned.
“I don’t know.” He replied, truthfully. He looked thoughtful.
“I won’t tell” Haruhi whispered suddenly,
“I know.” He said, turning his gaze to her eyes, and smiling.
He was glad he told her after all. He hoped his mother would have been happy with it too.
No, thinking about it, he was sure she would be.
He scooped up the photos and put them back into the box; Haruhi held the box and closed her eyes. Tamaki had paid respects to her mother while at her house, and she felt the need to do the same, even if she was alive, somewhere.
‘I hope you see him again one day’ she said to the box, in her head.
Tamaki watched with large eyes, She was there, in front of him, eyes closed and with a faraway look on her face, He wished he could hold her, but he, as the father, couldn’t allow himself. He would think rationally.
When Haruhi lowered the box and reopened her eyes, Tamaki was sat quietly, eyes closed.
She very quietly shuffled till she was right in front of him. She took his hands and placed them out in front of him; he opened his eyes, surprised at her touch and watched her with a shocked blush.
She placed the box in his now outstretched hands.
“Thank you Sempai” She said, and smiled again.
Reason left Tamaki Suoh at that moment.
“HARUHI!” he exclaimed extremely loudly, putting the box to the side of himself and systematically squeezing Haruhi’s tiny frame in a very powerful hug.
“CUUUUUTTTTTTTEEEEEEEE” he squealed, his cheeks a perfect shade of rose red.
Haruhi couldn’t fight the might of Tamaki’s grip, and this time there was no Mori to whisk her out of his grasp. “For crying out loud” she muttered to her self as Tamaki carried on squealing for what seemed like an eternity. Her face firmly pressed to one of his extremely warm cheeks.
As she left the mansion with Antoinette running dizzying circles around her, and Tamaki daftly waving behind her, with an idiotic grin on his face, she tried to reason with herself what had possessed her to act in a fashion which was always going to make Tamaki act like that. She hadn’t a clue, but looking back, perhaps it wasn’t that bad, he was certainly happy now. And she had seen quite a few facets of him that she had never seen before.
Thanks to his excruciating grip her back now ached, she was never going to get to finish her homework, or eat stew, but oddly her cheek felt tingly and sensitive, and still felt warm. She rubbed it absently, and grumbled to herself about how she would never understand him.
The end.
This is a Complete six chapter fanfic i was gonna actually make into a doujin, but i'm rather too ambitious for my own ability, i might get round to trying to draw it, but chances are, i'll be eternally scared off by inadequacy.
i have never posted a fanfic before. and this is only the second one i have ever written. I have a degree in Chemistry, English was only kinda a subject i was good at XD so excuse all clumsy sentences.
i tried to keep everyone in character, i think perhaps at points i made Tamaki too miserable, and Haruhi too concerned, but i tried to make it a logical follow on from events in the latest manga chapters, so knowing about those will help this make much more sense. i'm posting all the chapters here. Though i dunno if any of you will bother to read it all, it is kinda long XD
On Birthdays
Chapter 1- In which Tamaki recalls a sulk.
Tamaki sat under the gilded window and frowned. He had only been at the new house in Japan for what seemed like 10 minutes, (though in reality it must have been a couple of hours) and he was already upset.
He had promised his mother he would be strong for her. He had promised himself he would uphold his own standards, a mantra of ideals he held in almost as high esteem as his fine blonde features, but he was finding it was hard to stick to these in the new alien world he had been sent to.
His father was friendly yet distant, odd and enigmatic, Tamaki was not sure how to think or what to do or say in his company. Tamaki was, and had always been, over aware of what was necessary to please, he had learned that quickly, it was a life skill in a world of pointed looks and disapproving nods.
While a second and third warm tear drizzled slowly out of the boy’s down-tilted deep cornflower blue eyes, he recalled how scarce 5 minutes previous (it was in reality probably 15 or more minutes) he had been introducing himself to the housekeepers of the mansion, when he had spotted from the corner of his eye, another stunning lady, grey haired, certainly of later years, but with eyes which sparkled with fire.
He had immediately given the new audience a winning bow and flourish, a few dazzling compliments and greeting her hand gracefully, a deep and sincere smile, and yet, somehow, against all odds, she had given the coldest stare, the hardest deepest biting comments upon his mother, and an order, never to show his deeply distasteful face, and brazen manner to her ever again. So this had been his father’s mother it seemed. And he had done something terribly wrong to offend her. He pondered her graceful beautiful features again. He was very glad to know there were so many beautiful ladies he had inherited his looks from.
Still, this was much a set back to him, he had wanted to blend seamlessly into his new environment, his Japanese was so well practiced no one had even commented he had an accent.
He had decided he couldn’t let the harsh words hurt him, he knew the circumstances of his questionable birth was of much pain to his father’s mother, and the rest of the family, he also knew he was deeply proud of his mother, and only wanted the best for her. For her he could carry the words and still be proud to be whom he was.
Sitting in one of the pink corners of the third music room, some 4 years later, Tamaki recalled how in some ways, nothing had really changed since that day, he had been forced to live apart from the rest of the family, cocooned in his own private world of maids and housekeepers, raising him like a small army of mothers, there was enough beauty surrounding him to keep him smiling, and yet it had all been very lonely.
In other ways however, he noted, gazing across sharply at a small dark-haired presence and flushing violently, things had changed a great deal.
Chapter 2 - In which Haruhi Puzzles over a smile.
His eyes guarded under floppy blonde locks, Tamaki met eyes with the unexpected seventh host club member. Huge determined brown eyes blinked at him, looking instantly surprised then increasingly irked.
Tamaki’s infallible wall of charm had crumbled under the weight of the commoner’s presence, and his wide blue eyes showed straight thorough to waves of innocent shy embarrassment. He was quick to look away, Haruhi could be deeply unsettling to him at times, stirring him up in ways he couldn’t really explain or quantify. He was famously good with women; he knew what to do, what to say, and how far to go to please them. But with Haruhi, not only did the normal levels of charm no even make a register in her face, other than distain or fright, but he seemed to offend her with all the efforts he made to get others to accept her and her quaint commoner ways.
Tamaki couldn’t keep her in his head for long these days, without starting to get horrifically confused. He wanted only the best for Haruhi, He found himself holding her above all others, and wanting to see her, and to see her smile, but thinking why made him feel odd, and slightly ill, so he tended to skim over it, and not worry. After all, she was his daughter, his precious little girl, and these were things a good father wanted for his child. He definitely didn’t stop to ponder the more terrifying thoughts that sometimes filled his head featuring Haruhi; he vehemently asserted he was no pervert. His better nature won out most of the time.
Being out of his depth was not something Tamaki was used to. Even when the odds were stacked against him, if he knew his place, he could chip away at any wall, and make some progress, But with Haruhi, He had no idea where he stood, indeed it seemed, none of them did, but the rest of the host club did not seem as preoccupied about this as Tamaki did.
Haruhi stood suddenly and walked over to where Tamaki seemed to be sulking, Tamaki noticed with a slight panic, trying to compose himself to more usual levels as quickly as possible.
She peered at him with slightly glazed disapproving eyes.
‘Sempai! Why are you sat out when the rest of us are working? There’s an ever increasing group of girls waiting for you.’
Tamaki remained quiet for a moment and smiled. It was an admirable effort at a smile, and it would have fooled anyone but Haruhi.
Standing, he walked over to the growing group of girls, now around seven or eight as far as Haruhi could tell, He was posturing, all angled wrists and arms, swished hair and sparkles.
He seemed fine, but the smile had not been an entirely happy one. And Tamaki was not one to seem anything other than entirely happy.
Thinking for a moment, Haruhi looked over at Kyouya, He was, of course, beadily watching her and Tamaki from a distance, though the glasses shone in a way that suggested he was concentrating on a clipboard of figures. Haruhi wondered what he was thinking behind that board. As a wealth of Personal knowledge, she surmised he might have a clue as to why Tamaki was trying to hide some sadness.
“Uh… Kyouya Sempai…”
Kyouya was peering down thorough his thin rimmed glasses. Perhaps he hadn’t been watching after all… Haruhi shook her self a tiny bit. Of course he was watching… even if he wasn’t really watching, he would know exactly what she had been doing. He knew EVERYTHING.
“mmmm...?” Kyouya raised one eyebrow, but did not look away from the folder.
Suddenly Haruhi realised the precarious nature of her question to Kyouya. Ask something about Tamaki, and risk being questioned in return. Then of course, that would then attract the twins, and then everything would be blown way out of proportion…
What should she ask as to not look like she was after information…
It was no use; she would have to try figure it out herself.
“Oh nothing much… I was erm… wondering what my latest debt figure was…”
Good comeback! He would enjoy telling her how much extra debt she had accrued.
Haruhi stopped listening to Kyouya’s list of personal bills for flowers, costumes and the like. She had a sinking suspicion she would never pay off this debt, and indeed, it seemed increasingly less likely they actually wanted her to pay the debt, She was now seemingly there just… because. Only Kyouya seemed bothered about it now, Haruhi certainly didn’t want to bother herself worrying about it anymore.
‘It keeps him happy at least.’ She surmised.
Meanwhile, she occupied herself with possible reasons Tamaki could be upset. A second and a half later, she stopped.
‘Ah…’ she thought,
she realised how often she had seen him sat in that very same corner, sometimes for the most ridiculously minor things ‘It could be literally anything, couldn’t it?'
She let out an audible sigh. Kyouya probably noticed, he had stopped reciting his list now.
‘Is something else the matter?’ He asked, a wry smile on his face.
“Uh… nothing!” She said, slightly panicked.
“Uhhhhhhhh… Haruhi… there you are!” Two voices said in unison.
Great, more complications. With those two confusing her, Kyouya would probably try interrogation tactics. Time to escape…
“Hikaru, Kaoru, I have to go back to my clients, I’ll talk to you two a bit later.”
“awwww… you’re no fun!” Hikaru said in return, but he was talking to her back, Haruhi was busy apologising to Kurakano-san already, and was about to pour her some tea.
Chapter 3 - In which Kyouya is fooled
Kyouya looked over to Tamaki, who despite chatting amiably to his ladies, was ocassionally glancing over to Haruhi with doleful eyes.
Thankfully his clients didn’t notice, another Moe rampage of Kasonoda proportions was not what Kyouya wanted Tamaki to produce. Thinking Tamaki was gay would disappoint over half the host club clientele, and that wouldn’t produce good figures.
His current fatherly attitude was holding up very well under all kinds of strain that Tamaki seemed to fall under, almost always under the conviction of his own stupid mouth, or skewed thought processes.
It was good for them all that it did, Kyouya reasoned, jotting down some notes to himself on the subject while he was thinking. If Tamaki were to fully realise the true gravity of his feelings, He would not only make trouble for the club, but for Haruhi too, and himself. He was better off not being aware. At least until the host club broke of it’s own volition. Then he could do as he liked, within reason.
But still, there was something about Tamaki’s innocent doleful eyes that could burn down into even Kyouya’s thoughts, reaching for heartstrings to pull.
He did the best job of resisting the puppy-eyes that he possibly could, but as often as not he caved in to the latest desire of Tamaki’s ever changing mind, with many heavy leaden sighs.
It looked like today would be one of those days. Haruhi had obviously noticed something odd with Tamaki today, and was trying to ask about it. But of course, she would never ask about Tamaki. He expected that.
He looked ok… just… a bit lovelorn. But that was pretty usual as of late. Besides, the customers would be leaving shortly, he would enquire casually then.
* * *
Looking deeply at the floor, after the last of his clients had left, Tamaki sat thinking back to the first day in Japan once again.
His mother’s tears stayed with him, but he felt sure he would see her again someday, somehow, and then she would smile for him, and it would be ok. He hoped.
Today was his mother’s birthday and he could do nothing about it. He had decided not to say anything again this year, as there seemed no point, there was nothing he could do to see her, to wish her happy birthday, other than in his head, for himself. His father always made himself especially busy around this time too, not that he felt it proper to talk to his father about her.
And anyway, why make others sad about something as personal as this?
Still, something in his head was suggesting he tell someone this year. Although, strictly speaking, it wasn’t just ‘someone’ his mind was suggesting. It was her again; Haruhi was messing with his nicely arranged well learnt boundaries, and turning his thoughts in circles.
He had already fantasised 5 times this morning of imparting his sad story to her, and her comforting him with warm tear-stained hugs. As usual, thoughts of hugging Haruhi left him feeling happy, but oddly bereft, and even more despondent.
But he couldn’t ever be as cheap as to go against the wishes of his mother. He swore he would be strong, and he would. Besides, bringing Haruhi into his arms with such a story, however wonderful the outcome, was just not… right. Perhaps it was strange that a daughter should console a father…
Tamaki shook his head unconsciously, he’d got confused about this all before, and still not really come to a conclusion, it was probably best he forgot about the current train of thought.
As he searched his mind for a way to get out of the rut she was somehow dragging him into, Kyouya suddenly loomed overhead like a dark cloud.
“Anything the matter Tamaki?” he enquired. Tamaki noted deep inside the usual clear poker-straight expression there was a tiny note of concern. That was enough to help him smile.
“No! Nothing at all! In fact, I’m going to do some more research into commoner games tonight!” it wasn’t exactly a lie, he did intend on doing just that, later on.
Tamaki’s smile was full of the usual fuzzy idiocy, Kyouya blinked and turned around.
“You could spend some time thinking into some more host club themes if you have time to do that.” He said pointedly.
Haruhi must have been mistaken.
Chapter 4 - In which Haruhi listens to the piano.
Haruhi talked absently to Hikaru about Kaoru’s (and his own) new favourite type of commoner coffee.
(It had been on offer at the supermarket this week, but had become an instant hit (no pun intended -.-))
Honey and Mori had gone early, Honey to practice martial arts at home, and Mori to practice Kendo, He also, apparently, had to fetch his brother, but it was only by Honey divulging information, that anyone learnt anything about Mori.
As the others left, Haruhi went to pick up her bag from the back room.
She had tried to forget about Tamaki’s pained smile through talking to Kurakano-san, but had, infuriatingly, for reasons unknown, not managed to shake the odd expression out of her head. She had not seen him leave, but he didn’t seem to still be there when she entered the backroom. He usually said goodbye to her with a great flourish, so it was odd that he would just leave. Unless he was busy. Haruhi gave a small giggle in spite of herself,
He was always busy, but it was what he was busy with that was usually pointless and ridiculous, and not worth the effort.
Well, at least sometimes it was, she corrected herself subconsciously.
her thoughts then suddenly turned to the kiss Tamaki had planted on her forehead, it was odd how she still occasionally thought back to that, she would never know what prompted him to do that it seemed. She sighed despite herself, and wandered back to the door, chiding herself for thinking this much about the dopey blonde leader of the host club. She would go home, and have the beef stew she had been thinking about all day, and do her homework.
She was smiling when she opened the door at the thought.
Something caught her senses the minute the door was ajar, it was an oddly haunting sound, tinged with sorrow and loss, Haruhi found herself stood mouth suddenly slightly agape, listening to the beautiful melody she was confronted with.
The music room was being used?
She shuffled to the door as quickly as possible, embarrassed to hear what seemed to be a deeply heartfelt rendition of a lullaby by one of the western great composers, probably Brahms.
Even if she wasn’t sure of the piece, it seemed quite personal.
As she opened the door to leave, she cast a glance to the player, wondering who was such an accomplished Pianist.
She dropped her bag again.
Tamaki was playing to himself. And suddenly, Haruhi realised she had been immersed into the past with him, hearing the songs he played his ailing mother, while he stayed in; ignoring the childhood he was supposed to be enjoying, to be by her side.
She should have known it was him, perhaps that was why she looked across to see who was playing. She knew of course he was good at piano, but the feeling he was pouring into this song stirred sadness within her.
He hadn’t noticed her, she could slip out the door, and perhaps a few months or weeks ago she might have convinced herself she could, but she decided it was best to go ask him if he was ok, even if it was just to make herself feel better about then leaving.
Taking a deep breath, still wondering if she really ought to interrupt, Haruhi wandered over to the piano to confront Tamaki.
Chapter 5 - In which a question is asked.
Tamaki was not thinking about anything other than playing, when he suddenly sensed someone else near him. As he casually looked up, expecting to see Kyouya, he instead saw those familiar large dark round eyes looking right back at him and she looked unsure and embarrassed.
Seeing her look so heart-wrenchingly cute sent him into waves of crimson blushes once again, This time it wasn’t a daydream, she was actually stood there, and now he had no idea what the heck to say to her, He had to be positive, even though he realised she would know now he was feeling low today. She had raised a tiny blush to her cheeks which sent him into a state of semi-delirium.
She was so insanely cute! He resisted for the millionth time, since he’d met her, picking her up and very tightly hugging her tiny cute little self for the rest of his blissful life.
Haruhi saw Tamaki blush, and panicked, he must have been embarrassed… in turn she also blushed in embarrassment, and almost turned to go.
“Haruhi…”
Tamaki’s voice was a little wobbly, but it often was when he worked himself up.
“Sempai… I um… You play very well.”
Haruhi had partially chickened out. He’d probably tell her what was wrong in a second anyway she reasoned. She didn’t want to prompt a melodrama out of him.
“Thank you!” He started. “I didn’t think anyone was here… My mother was particularly fond of that piece.”
His face had started off quite sad, but recovered remarkably quickly, in fact, the smile he gave was as sure as usual, as bright and full of confidence.
Unexpected though his response was, Haruhi smiled.
“It sounded familiar to me somehow.” Haruhi said wistfully, “I can see why she’d like it.”
Tamaki positively beamed back at her, with him looking much happier, Haruhi felt better about leaving him there. As she turned, he spoke again.
“Haruhi?” Tamaki’s eyes were full of sudden seriousness.
“Uh... yes?” She said cautiously, unsure as usual, of what he would say next.
“A while ago during the culture festival I asked if you’d like to see some photos of my mother…” He seemed to be slightly shuffling his feet.
“Of course Sempai” Haruhi said smiling again.
Wait… did he mean now?
“Today’s her birthday. I think today might be a good day for you to see her. She’s very beautiful you know, I know she’d have liked you.”
Haruhi’s heart gave a heavy sigh. Her birthday? Again, his attitude to it all astounded her, He wanted to cherish the memories of his mother, he didn’t seem fazed by the sadness in his life. She felt kind of happy he wanted to share the photos with her.
Haruhi picked up her bag and followed a now highly bouncy Tamaki to the door; she’d have to forget about the stew for now.
Chapter 6 - In which Memories are cherished
Haruhi had seen the stunning blonde lady before, When Tamaki had been ill with a cold, she had found a photo of himself and his mother, they looked so happy, she hadn’t known really what to say. But Tamaki seemed to have forgotten that fact, but then, he seemed to have forgotten a lot about his cold, she noted again.
As he opened a large wooden box that he retrieved from under his bed, he smiled. There were bundles of photographs inside, a few other objects, including a few pressed flowers, a few coins, a yellow yoyo, and some letters, though they didn’t seem to have envelopes with them.
He sat opposite Haruhi, his eyes wide with pride, and spread out a few photos in front of her. The photos looked fairly old, and the woman within them was young, smiling, and lovely. The resemblance to Tamaki was obvious; He seemed to share most of his facial features with her, including the smile she happily displayed. Haruhi wondered if he realised that fact. Every time he smiled, it was as if she was smiling thorough him.
Haruhi’s heart suddenly felt very heavy, it had all reminded her of her own mother, and how she wanted so badly to follow her, to succeed as she did.
‘I may find him hard to understand at times’ Haruhi thought to herself, ‘But I do share something with Tamaki, the loss of a mother. Even if it wasn’t though death in Tamaki’s case, and the feeling of wanting to do well for her sake.’
“My grandma doesn’t know I have these.” Tamaki said, quietly and cautiously.
“Would she take them off you?” Haruhi said quietly, concerned.
“I don’t know.” He replied, truthfully. He looked thoughtful.
“I won’t tell” Haruhi whispered suddenly,
“I know.” He said, turning his gaze to her eyes, and smiling.
He was glad he told her after all. He hoped his mother would have been happy with it too.
No, thinking about it, he was sure she would be.
He scooped up the photos and put them back into the box; Haruhi held the box and closed her eyes. Tamaki had paid respects to her mother while at her house, and she felt the need to do the same, even if she was alive, somewhere.
‘I hope you see him again one day’ she said to the box, in her head.
Tamaki watched with large eyes, She was there, in front of him, eyes closed and with a faraway look on her face, He wished he could hold her, but he, as the father, couldn’t allow himself. He would think rationally.
When Haruhi lowered the box and reopened her eyes, Tamaki was sat quietly, eyes closed.
She very quietly shuffled till she was right in front of him. She took his hands and placed them out in front of him; he opened his eyes, surprised at her touch and watched her with a shocked blush.
She placed the box in his now outstretched hands.
“Thank you Sempai” She said, and smiled again.
Reason left Tamaki Suoh at that moment.
“HARUHI!” he exclaimed extremely loudly, putting the box to the side of himself and systematically squeezing Haruhi’s tiny frame in a very powerful hug.
“CUUUUUTTTTTTTEEEEEEEE” he squealed, his cheeks a perfect shade of rose red.
Haruhi couldn’t fight the might of Tamaki’s grip, and this time there was no Mori to whisk her out of his grasp. “For crying out loud” she muttered to her self as Tamaki carried on squealing for what seemed like an eternity. Her face firmly pressed to one of his extremely warm cheeks.
As she left the mansion with Antoinette running dizzying circles around her, and Tamaki daftly waving behind her, with an idiotic grin on his face, she tried to reason with herself what had possessed her to act in a fashion which was always going to make Tamaki act like that. She hadn’t a clue, but looking back, perhaps it wasn’t that bad, he was certainly happy now. And she had seen quite a few facets of him that she had never seen before.
Thanks to his excruciating grip her back now ached, she was never going to get to finish her homework, or eat stew, but oddly her cheek felt tingly and sensitive, and still felt warm. She rubbed it absently, and grumbled to herself about how she would never understand him.
The end.