Against My Will I Stand Beside My Own Reflection
So this is why my eyes have beein tearing up and annoying me. Seeming blurry and foggy. Pent up emotion finally spilling over. And it feels good. The hot water cascading down my cheeks and onto my lips and chin. It tastes good as well. Like an elixer that I've been craving all my life. Like a shower for my eyes.
I've been crying, but tears for movies. Not tears for me. I wanted to cry tears for me, maybe that's why I watched the movies. To get started. But I couldn't cry for me. Not yet. Not until I was forced to.
In a situation where I want to cry, I don't. I don't feel the tears, or if I do I don't believe them. I forgot sadness doesn't need to be full of anger. And vice versa. Seperation can save or kill.
When I cried tears full of sadness, it felt so good. So releasing and so convincing. Tears like sweat for your eyes. When I finally got excersized enough by something I sweated. The more sweat I made the better I felt. Panting and sweating with my heart beating fast, my legs wobbling. The more I exercisized the better it felt. Like screaming. Screaming until my voice got horse. Until my eyes were dry. Until my heart slept soundly after a day of work. Until my breathing matched that of before.
And as I lay my subtle body down on cool sheets, my pillow stays wet through the night.
No, not from drool.
I've been crying, but tears for movies. Not tears for me. I wanted to cry tears for me, maybe that's why I watched the movies. To get started. But I couldn't cry for me. Not yet. Not until I was forced to.
In a situation where I want to cry, I don't. I don't feel the tears, or if I do I don't believe them. I forgot sadness doesn't need to be full of anger. And vice versa. Seperation can save or kill.
When I cried tears full of sadness, it felt so good. So releasing and so convincing. Tears like sweat for your eyes. When I finally got excersized enough by something I sweated. The more sweat I made the better I felt. Panting and sweating with my heart beating fast, my legs wobbling. The more I exercisized the better it felt. Like screaming. Screaming until my voice got horse. Until my eyes were dry. Until my heart slept soundly after a day of work. Until my breathing matched that of before.
And as I lay my subtle body down on cool sheets, my pillow stays wet through the night.
No, not from drool.