Meeting people.
Ya know what? I hate trying to meet people, trying to fit in with someone. I dont understand why our race was built on networking and placing yourself into a group.
It seems that everyone here knows everyone else, and i'm just left behind knowing only a few. The few i did meet and think of highly are wonderful and obviously life long. But i dont have that "hi" persona in me, the ability to walk around the campus and say hi to 5 different people in 10 minutes.
I feel alone down here, because the people i have met are either upperclassmen (not in my classes, not on campus, etc.) or in my grade, but dont seem to care if they are friends with me or not.
I really want a best friend, the type that will call you first thing in the morning to see what you're up to, and right before sleeping to see what you're doing tomorrow. I want the friend that wants to eat with ME all the time, the kind that asks if i'll go to urec with her (every time she goes) the kind that has my cell number in her calls list more than any other number.
I had that with Ryan, but now that we're so far apart i feel the need to replace the emptiness of the person who i always am seen with. I can always be sure i'll have a person to eat with in the dinning hall, or i'll be able to go see a movie with them whenever.
It really sucks when there isnt anybody like that in my life. It makes me depressed and sloth-like, because i end up not getting out of my room at all, and then i get angry at wasting a day away and then i get sad because the only thing i can do is get angry at myself for being stupid.
Not that i hate lazy sundays, i cherish them. But when i go to D-hall and notice all the black football players eating together and all the asians eating together in their corner, and all the sorority girls talking about their nights past and many couples having a cute breakfast together. i just get depressed, because here i am with 3 other girls from my dorm, and they're sharing their stories and talking about their lives while i just sit and stare at the world around me, getting more and more depressed as the dining hall fills up and filters out, the food consumed and trashed, and then we leave, back to the dorms, only for me to be trailing the gossipy girls by 5 ft.
College is an experience in how well you fit in with others, and obviously i dont. I'm sick of trying to find out who i "fit" with. I already know the only person i want to be with for the rest of my life, so why am i trying to be somebody i dont want to be?
If anybody has princess mononoke on their computer and would like to send it to my computer, i really have a craving for that movie. Thanks
-Becca
It seems that everyone here knows everyone else, and i'm just left behind knowing only a few. The few i did meet and think of highly are wonderful and obviously life long. But i dont have that "hi" persona in me, the ability to walk around the campus and say hi to 5 different people in 10 minutes.
I feel alone down here, because the people i have met are either upperclassmen (not in my classes, not on campus, etc.) or in my grade, but dont seem to care if they are friends with me or not.
I really want a best friend, the type that will call you first thing in the morning to see what you're up to, and right before sleeping to see what you're doing tomorrow. I want the friend that wants to eat with ME all the time, the kind that asks if i'll go to urec with her (every time she goes) the kind that has my cell number in her calls list more than any other number.
I had that with Ryan, but now that we're so far apart i feel the need to replace the emptiness of the person who i always am seen with. I can always be sure i'll have a person to eat with in the dinning hall, or i'll be able to go see a movie with them whenever.
It really sucks when there isnt anybody like that in my life. It makes me depressed and sloth-like, because i end up not getting out of my room at all, and then i get angry at wasting a day away and then i get sad because the only thing i can do is get angry at myself for being stupid.
Not that i hate lazy sundays, i cherish them. But when i go to D-hall and notice all the black football players eating together and all the asians eating together in their corner, and all the sorority girls talking about their nights past and many couples having a cute breakfast together. i just get depressed, because here i am with 3 other girls from my dorm, and they're sharing their stories and talking about their lives while i just sit and stare at the world around me, getting more and more depressed as the dining hall fills up and filters out, the food consumed and trashed, and then we leave, back to the dorms, only for me to be trailing the gossipy girls by 5 ft.
College is an experience in how well you fit in with others, and obviously i dont. I'm sick of trying to find out who i "fit" with. I already know the only person i want to be with for the rest of my life, so why am i trying to be somebody i dont want to be?
If anybody has princess mononoke on their computer and would like to send it to my computer, i really have a craving for that movie. Thanks
-Becca