A Treatise on Love and War

[bagheera]

Yesterday, I chatted with a friend I haven't talked to in a long time. We asked each other how we have been, and gave each other updates on life in general. I mentioned that I've moved in with Balaa, and the question I immediately received from my friend was "Is marriage down the road?" and when I said no, the follow up question was "Are you guys

Comments

[alaitallon]

I actually really appreciate that you posted this, particularly now. I just recently got involved with someone who is poly (whereas I'm mostly mono), and it's good to hear an interesting perspective on it like this. I really like how your relationship gives a lot of emphasis on freedom of choice and not feeling constrained from following your heart. Though I'm pretty much monogamous by nature, for the most part, I think it shows that you have a tremendous amount of trust and love for each other.

In a way, it reminds me of the old saying that if you love something, you set it free. If it returns to you, then it was always yours. If it doesn't, then it never was.

I'm still trying to adjust to that mindset myself. Intellectually, I can grasp it and understand it, it's just the emotional aspects of jealousy that are wired into most of us that I'm trying to tame. I think it's something within my capabilities of adjusting to, it will just take time.

Thank you for being so open with us and sharing this with us. It's given me some much needed insight during a time when I can take all the advice I can get, no matter how indirect. XD

[bagheera]

Well I am not advocating that people go sleep around, but you know... :) If I were in a situation where I am offered a chance at intimacy by a female other than my mate, whether or not I say "yes" should be a decision I have to make; if my mate forced me into saying "no" it would just feel very awkward, even if I meant to say no to begin with, you know? And the same applies in reverse. My mate is very monogamous, I am not EXPECTING her to sleep with someone else, but I wanted to make sure she knows I do not wish to restrict her freedom in any way.

That's the way I view life in general, though. Rules only have value if you believe in them.