What is going on
My Grandfather, for the past months has been having chemo for his liver. The doctors had found cancer cells but they were slow growing- so we didn't worry. Recently, however he's been feeling really lousy. Yesterday, My mom had picked me up after school as usual but she didn't sound the same- she then went on to tell me that My Grandma got a call from the doctor saying that His cancer had spread to his lungs. I started wailing - someone could've knocked me over with a feather i was so shocked.
We went right over to the hospital and He looked awful- you could see the pain in his eyes- I told him that I loved him- he replied, and kissed me back when i kissed him goodbye- He was so doped up on his pain meds so i was suprised he kissed me back- or even knew who I was. The thing that made me blow was that the doctor told us that the chemo had worked on the Liver! The spread two his lungs happened in the past few days, but the liver was fine. When we asked the time that He had , the doctor replied, "Weeks." Grandma decided not to tell him.
This morning after cheering up some, I watched the macy's parade, and then I decided to go back to sleep at 11:00. Two hours later I got a hysterical call from my mother saying that he was fading fast and the nurse said that it didn't look good. We all jumped in the car and sped over to suburban. When we got there- he look awful he wasn't really talking but i sat with him and held his hand, while everyone was in the other room. He would look up at me with his bright blue eyes- i forgot how blue they are.I convinced him to have an energy shake, and after - you would've thought that it was tequila and milk he was talking about heaven knows what and asking me to sing, then not sing then sing again- he was so goofy. When all of the family came to the hospital expecting to find a coma- like man they were totally suprised how talkative he was. After saying good bye, we went home for thanksgiving- it was so quiet without him there. We bought his favorite wine, and pie and it was so sad that he wasn't with us.
Mid- dinner mom and I decided to go visit hime- but he wasn't his talkative self, he was coughing and scared. He kept thinking that my uncle was in a car crash, but he was just at home. We decided to arrange for a private room because he keep coughing and weezing and it would be better if the other guy's tv wasn't disturbing him. The gave him his pain medication so he probably didn't know that I said goodbye- mom's staying the night- I was going to but I am so freaked out that I just need to sit in my room.
This all seems like THE worst dream, I cannot believe this is happening. I'm losing hope, and i don't want him to go. I want him to keep coming to my shows, i don't want my grandma to be alone- after 63 years with him, i don't want our family gatherings to be lonely, I want him to see me succed in life, I want him to see me graduate. I am so upset and I don't think I've stopped crying yet. I am so scared- as I've posted on my away message-
"It feels like someone is stabbing me with knives until I'm numb, crying, and bleeding. I can't believe this is happening."
I love everyone- I hope at least all of you have had a happy thanksgiving.
-Florrie
We went right over to the hospital and He looked awful- you could see the pain in his eyes- I told him that I loved him- he replied, and kissed me back when i kissed him goodbye- He was so doped up on his pain meds so i was suprised he kissed me back- or even knew who I was. The thing that made me blow was that the doctor told us that the chemo had worked on the Liver! The spread two his lungs happened in the past few days, but the liver was fine. When we asked the time that He had , the doctor replied, "Weeks." Grandma decided not to tell him.
This morning after cheering up some, I watched the macy's parade, and then I decided to go back to sleep at 11:00. Two hours later I got a hysterical call from my mother saying that he was fading fast and the nurse said that it didn't look good. We all jumped in the car and sped over to suburban. When we got there- he look awful he wasn't really talking but i sat with him and held his hand, while everyone was in the other room. He would look up at me with his bright blue eyes- i forgot how blue they are.I convinced him to have an energy shake, and after - you would've thought that it was tequila and milk he was talking about heaven knows what and asking me to sing, then not sing then sing again- he was so goofy. When all of the family came to the hospital expecting to find a coma- like man they were totally suprised how talkative he was. After saying good bye, we went home for thanksgiving- it was so quiet without him there. We bought his favorite wine, and pie and it was so sad that he wasn't with us.
Mid- dinner mom and I decided to go visit hime- but he wasn't his talkative self, he was coughing and scared. He kept thinking that my uncle was in a car crash, but he was just at home. We decided to arrange for a private room because he keep coughing and weezing and it would be better if the other guy's tv wasn't disturbing him. The gave him his pain medication so he probably didn't know that I said goodbye- mom's staying the night- I was going to but I am so freaked out that I just need to sit in my room.
This all seems like THE worst dream, I cannot believe this is happening. I'm losing hope, and i don't want him to go. I want him to keep coming to my shows, i don't want my grandma to be alone- after 63 years with him, i don't want our family gatherings to be lonely, I want him to see me succed in life, I want him to see me graduate. I am so upset and I don't think I've stopped crying yet. I am so scared- as I've posted on my away message-
"It feels like someone is stabbing me with knives until I'm numb, crying, and bleeding. I can't believe this is happening."
I love everyone- I hope at least all of you have had a happy thanksgiving.
-Florrie