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[baffled_pumpkin]

Sinking ship will stay afloat much longer, and there are more chances to save people if some heavy stuff gets thrown overboard. Something must be given up immediately, preferably the heaviest objects on board. Common sense - not even worth discussing

Comments

[white16]

If we expand this analogy to a different image

[baffled_pumpkin]

Definitely not your head, I guess :)

Alik, my head is the first thing I usually let go in such situations :) i am not joking, btw.

when i talk about relationships i talk about emotional stuff i listed in my post that pple (including myself) don't want to part with (not physical body parts)

as for breaking up... you know i firmly believe that we can't build anything new unless we let go the past grievances, blames, etc., in other words truly make peace with our past.
that's the primary reason why people get stuck in vicious cycle as far as relationships (both romantic and non-romantic) are concerned. pple break the old ones, start new ones on top of clutter they didn't let go of, hoping that it is going to be different, and then ooops - several years later it appears to be the same pattern.

we cling to our emotional clutter, and it keeps resurfacing in our lives. that's what i meant had to be given up.
sinking ship is just a metaphor, and shouldn't be taken for a face value :)

[white16]

I understand, I just offered another metaphor ;)
And of course you right, however in your beautiful and impressive - I won't deny it - image of sinking ship, there is a certain lightness, maybe even easiness (not to offend you :)). That's why I offered a metaphor of a creature who is trying to get rid of "non working parts" in order to move along and live... the problem is that these "parts" become integral ones. And that's why it's difficult and takes time.
I guess we talk about different things - you say about what needs to be done, and I do about how difficult it can be. I hope we are still on the same page ;)

[baffled_pumpkin]

I guess we talk about different things - you say about what needs to be done, and I do about how difficult it can be.

ugu. plus, i never said it was easy. if it were i wouldn't be writing about it in the first place.
it is just that... no matter how hard it is to let certain things go sometimes, it is much much harder to live with consequences of not letting go.
for example, sometimes it is very hard to forgive certain things. but it is 100 times more devastating to live with the grudge, you know.

[white16]

I agree, what can I say... Of course it's better to forgive than to live with a bitterness. But "better" doesn't mean "easier", unfortunately, right? So that's what I am exactly talking about.
And yes, some people prefer not to forgive, and some people blame everybody else, and they are finally corrupted. And still... still I do understand them and ... how they say? ... :) validate their feelings.
And at last... well - people are different. For some it IS really easier to forgive and let go. They're created this way :)

[white16]

And else - these past grievances or memories, or bitterness are exactly an evidence of hard splitting with this part. Otherwise we would definitely live happily ever after each broken relationship, especially a non-working one :)
... Believe me I also know what I am talking about. :)