Quia peccavi nimis (That I have sinned)
Title: Quia peccavi nimis (That I have sinned)
Pairing(s): Suho/Sehun
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fantasy, Angst
Length: 3k words
Summary: When Sehun enters a room, tension immediately appears-the wealthy young women, who all appear equally pretty when compared to each other, are plain in comparison to him. Knowing that his beauty far surpasses their own, the young women despise him.
Warnings: Character death, some mentions of religion and sexual references, age gap
Author's Note: Slightly inspired by both the book and the disney movie: The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Sehun was born by a young woman, who had left her family for a young man, who turned out to only want her for her body. After that, she had had to prostitute herself, to be able to survive. However, her lonely life in poverty and despair had ended, when she found out that she was pregnant.
When Sehun was born, she gave him all of her attention and admiration. To her, he had been everything beautiful and pure in life. Even the townsfolk started to forgive the young woman for her sins, when they watched her with her precious child.
Tragedy suddenly came, however, when gypsies kidnapped the young baby, and then instead leaving a hideously deformed child in place. The townsfolk then concluded that the Gypsies had cannibalized the young Sehun, and his mother fled the town in despair, and ended up killing herself not many days later.
Seventeen years later Sehun is living happily amongst the gypsies. He serves as a public dancer to earn for a living, constantly attracting men with his seductive dances, shy glances and flowing moves.
He enjoys the thrill; he enjoys the eyes on him. He knows that he is beautiful; he knows that men find him enticing.
When Sehun enters a room, tension immediately appears-the wealthy young women, who all appear equally pretty when compared to each other, are plain in comparison to him. Knowing that his beauty far surpasses their own, the young women despise him.
Somehow, it only makes Sehun enjoy his life as a gypsy even more.
He truly is a gorgeous young man, with dark hair and honey-colored eyes. His skin is pale and his lips are red and sinful, often cocked into a mischievous smile, eyes twinkling with a playful gleam, as he twirls around sensually, luring in men with his provocative and teasing aura, only to rip them of their money. However, more often than not, he leaves with their hearts also.
The only one to be really close to him though, is his best friend - and often partner in crime - Jongin. They have been as brothers since birth, grown into enticing young men together, and have experienced every ounce of pain and pleasure together throughout their life.
Even now, that Jongin have grown into being more handsome, while Sehun have grown to be more beautiful, they still stick together like glue.
However, this particular day, Sehun is out by himself, and it is not that anything out of the usual happens to the young male, before the nightfall arrives. Except maybe, Sehun felt an extra set of burning eyes on him that day.
There, in the midst of the usual crowd, is a young man. A young man with such power, that even Sehun knows who he is. The Archdeacon. A man with such strong faith and beliefs, that he would overpower even the most religious and proudest of men. Kim Joonmyeon.
His chin is held high, even if he is smaller in height than the commoners around him. The Archdeacon is truly a prideful and handsome man. Even though that he has grown up as an orphan, taking care of his younger brother who now is rumored to be alcoholic, he has studied hard; working his way up in the hierarchy, becoming the powerful man he is today.
He is also known to believe strongly in fate. One of his older peasants, have told the story from when he worked in the quarters, that he once saw a fly caught in a web and tried to save the fly. Joonmyeon then had held the peasant back, saying sharply, "Do not interfere with the workings of fate!”.
It is entirely uncommon to see him out at this time of the day. But it seemed that no one around Sehun, noticed the Archdeacon, other than him.
And even if the Archdeacon is a handsome man, not the least hard on the eyes, his dark eyes seems to burn right into Sehun’s soul. Like it wretches him apart, turns him inside out, leaving him open like an empty shell, any sign of sin scorched out of his flesh.
~~*~~
Beatae Mariae semper virgini
Joonmyeon, values at most his pride. Through his 35 years of life, he has worked harder than any common man. Those vulgar, licentious human beings. He is much purer, much more worthy of life than them.
So why, why, was he being tested like this by the Devil himself?
Beato Michaeli archangel
He does not deserve this. He has a worthy existence, but that gypsy, that gorgeous boy, had the nerve to make him stray him from his faith. Had to set him on fire, engulfing him and his heart in an inferno of burning passion.
Sanctis apostolis omnibus sanctis
His smoldering eyes scorches his soul, captivates him in such ways, not even his faith has ever done.
Joonmyeon has strong passions, and he is a celibate due to his station within the church. These before unknown passions erupt in him every time he sees the gypsy. And he does not want to lose his life-long - before unyielding - faith.
But he simply must own him.
Days pass on though, and Sehun does not see the Archdeacon again, until almost two weeks have passed.
It is a late evening; the sun is setting in the horizon, painting the paved streets a pretty shade of red. Sehun is walking down the narrow street with his small bag is strapped over his shoulder, containing the few coins from today’s earnings.
But suddenly he is pulled aside into an alleyway, and before Sehun even has time to react, he is pushed down on his knees, a strong hand now clutched in his hair, pulling his head backwards. Since his head is now forced backwards, his gaze is placed on the man leaning over him.
Sehun’s heartbeat stops for a second. Over him is the Archdeacon, his handsome face is pulled into a grimace and his blonde hair is slicked back handsomely.
His first thought is that the older man wants to hurt him. The Archdeacon is known to bear a deep hatred toward gypsies such as Sehun himself, and his malevolent person is often known for either torturing gypsies or punishing them, because in the Archdeacon’s mind, all gypsies are pests on level with rats, a plague in need of being destroyed. Less than the most impure of commoners.
However, the man’s eyes do not bear any form of evil at that moment. Sehun feels like, that in those deep brown eyes, the hatred, which is showing, is quite different from usual. But the grip on Sehun’s hair tells him otherwise, and sooner than not, the older man has moved down to the same height as Sehun, a hot breath is spreading over his neck, the burning fire then spreading over his entire body.
“Gypsy... What are you called?” the older man’s body is warm, and even though Sehun is almost paralyzed with fear his heart thuds loudly in his chest, and he swallows thickly.
“Sehun, Sir...”
The older male just hums, and soon Sehun feels a nose press into his neck, and the strong hand tightening in his hair. Warm lips move over his skin, leaving burns over Sehun’s neck, moving up until the Archdeacon’s nose is pressing into the other’s hair, just behind the ear.
Deus me salvet
The Archdeacon inhales. He inhales the smell of Sehun, before pulling away, his hands gripping the dark hair tighter, forcing the young man’s head even further back.
A smirk is planted over the Archdeacon’s ever handsome face, and he stands up once again, pulling Sehun forward, pressing the younger’s face into his crotch.
A whimper escapes Sehun’s lips, his body shaking and his breathing shallow, his chest heaving almost violently.
“Please, please… Sir.”
Sehun knows that even speaking to such a powerful man can cause him greater trouble, than he could ever possible imagine. But he is desperate. Desperate to get away.
“Kyrie eleison...” The Archdeacon murmurs to himself before pushing Sehun away, turning around on his heel.
And soon, Sehun is seated by himself in the alleyway, his body burning with the leftover fear.
Kim Joonmyeon have always been proud of how cold and composed he seems. He likes the fear glinting in the eyes of the common people. He likes the feeling of power pumping through his veins.
But nothing quite describes the feeling Joonmyeon had gotten, when he had the -usually confident- gypsy boy trembling on his knees before him. He had never felt so powerful before, but he also had never felt that dirty.
Joonmyeon feels like a sinner. But now, knee-deep in the sin, he could not find the will to stop sinning. He wants that boy. And even when sinning, Joonmyeon would do everyone a favor, would he not? He can purify that gypsy, make him holy and perfect. Save him. And of course have him to himself.
He does however not approach the gypsy for a while. The Archdeacon is a patient man after all. Even with the prickling feeling under his skin and his staying awake most of nights, he refuses to change his person and his habits for anyone. Even the pretty gypsy known as Sehun.
It is first at the 6th of January that he sees him again. The yearly Feast of the Fools is happening at just that day, and even though Joonmyeon usually resents such blasphemous festivals, he cannot help the warm and nervous spreading of light in his chest, knowing that Sehun will most likely be the main-performance due to his rising popularity.
Since he is the Archdeacon, he could choose not to attend the festival. But turning down an opportunity to sit on his high throne and watch Sehun dance around in exotic fabrics and glinting golden jewelry, did never sound very appealing to the Archdeacon. And even if the gypsies liked provoking Joonmyeon on that particular day, thinking that they somehow gained immunity to his wrath, Joonmyeon tries to keep as calm as possible.
But Joonmyeon knows that as years pass on, the gypsies grow more and more bold, and so this year he has double as many guards by his side as last year. He does not take any chances.
Sehun is excited. This is the time of the year, which is when his people takes over, turning all of Paris upside down.
The Court of Miracles, the old catacombs that have been turned into a peaceful gypsy town over the last 20 years, is empty this morning. Gypsies of all ages are bustling around on the town square, preparing for when the bell rings at 12 o’clock, and marking the start of the festival.
The best thing of the festival is however that they can mock the uptight Archdeacon, without him being able to do much about it. Even Sehun, who is normally very terrified of the Archdeacon, did not refuse the task of mocking the man, during his performance. All gypsies seemed to grow even bolder than usual on this day, and of course, Sehun did too. Sehun is feeling like he can do anything in the world, and not even the Archdeacon can stop him on this day.
And as the bells strike at 12 o’clock like a deep thunder, the festival music fills the square and gypsies and performers alike spreads out, the colorful clothes and confetti fluttering past everyone’s eyes.
Even then, as the Archdeacon arrives in his dark wagon with soldiers riding both in front and in the back of the wagon, the celebrating just continues, and it’s not before the Archdeacon have settled on his throne that the crowd seems to quiet down. It is not because of the Archdeacon however. It is because purple smoke fills the main stage, before Sehun appears in the mist of it.
He is clothed in deep red fabrics lined with golden colors and with purple veils. Golden jewelry adores his arms and legs, and a particular large golden headpiece is placed on top of his head, the gold contrasting beautifully with his raven black hair. Even his eyes are lined with a gentle black, making him seem even more exotic and enticing than usual. The more alluring Sehun are, the more money they would earn.
Sehun can feel eyes on him, as he does his well-practiced moves across the stage. He can especially feel the burning look from the Archdeacon, and Sehun did what he was told to do. He looks over at the Archdeacon, eyes staying on the older man as he dances sensually. It is only after a few moments that he stops, to gracefully run over the stage and jump over to the stage on which the Archdeacon is seated on his throne.
He places himself on the Archdeacon’s lap, and while he looks at the other through his dark lashes, he places a piece of purple veil around the elder’s neck before he leans forward pressing his lips against the nose in front of him. With a playful smile, Sehun pulls back and jumps back to his own stage, on which he now moves more provocatively than before.
Joonmyeon barely pays attention to the rest of the performance. Out of everything these gypsy vermin could have done, they had to ridicule him with the help of the gypsy who seemed to know just what he did to Joonmyeon. Joonmyeon clenches his fists on the armrests of the throne. He had let Sehun see a weak side of him - and now the young gypsy was using his knowledge against him, in front of such a huge crowd. The nerve of that child.
And Joonmyeon had thought about trying to save the gypsy - to make his corrupted soul pure, make it shine as bright as the light of the Lord himself. But no, the young man is now showing his true colours to Joonmyeon, showing him the vulgar and greedy shadow that had always identified the gypsies. The beautiful boy is rotten - so rotten that even Joonmyeon would not be able to save him. But never before had the Archdeacon backed down from a challenge.
And so, as the day passed, Joonmyeon planned carefully out what he must do to save the child - to have the young gypsy as his own.
This time, Joonmyeon waits barely one week. It is itching under his skin; it is clouding his normally bright mind. He cannot get the gypsy out of his mind.
He had been mentally gone all day- daydreaming about what would happen at later that day.
And it is first when the days slowly turns into night - when the nightfall comes out of its hiding - that Joonmyeon wakes of his trance. He knows that Sehun works all day, only returning to their unknown hideout late at night. He knows ever little way the gypsy goes. Or almost. He cannot seem to follow the other all the way back to the gypsies’ hideout.
But he is ready. And as Sehun is turning down a narrow path, he is pulled into an alley by the Archdeacon’s surprisingly strong arms.
Joonmyeon has the gypsy pressed between himself and the dirty wall, and even if he was a few inches shorter than the younger, the gypsy seemed so shrink under his gaze. It makes Joonmyeon feel even more powerful.
He has seen the recognition in the other’s eyes, and therefor he knows he won’t have to present himself further.
“Sehun...” The Archdeacon starts, smirking when the younger man seems to shrink even further.
Joonmyeon is so close to the beautiful boy - only a breath away.
"I kept hearing your song ringing in my ears, kept seeing your feet dancing on my breviary, at night, in my dreams.”
The Archdeacon is leaning in even closer, to satisfy his hunger - but not entirely. His nose is pressed against the soft skin under the gypsy’s ear once again, the aroma intoxicating his senses completely.
“When I had seen you twice I wished to see you a thousand times, to have you always in my sight."
As the other seems as if frozen, Joonmyeon only takes it as a sign of inner want to submit. He breathed in deeply. He felt lucky at that very moment, that he had always been a strong man. Or else he would certainly not have been able to keep himself from snapping - from defying his lifelong faith.
“I wanted to see you again, touch you, know who you were, see if I would find you identical with the ideal image of you which had remained with me and perhaps shatter my dream with the aid of reality.”
He pulls away a bit, allowing his eyes to move over the appealing features of the gypsy. To his satisfaction, the boy seemed as frightful as at their first encounter. He preferred the beautiful like this - and not like the bratty performer, who thought he could do as he wished without punishment.
“I have a proposal for you, gypsy. An ultimatum, if you want.”
Joonmyeon’s eyes may be cold as stone, but oh, his soul was burning up from the inside.
“You will accept my infatuation with you and become mine.”
The gypsy’s eyes are widening - the honey of his eyes seemingly searching for reason.
“Or I will simply hand you over to authorities, and you will - at best- be hanged.”
As the last of Joonmyeon’s words are leaving his lips, the younger man’s eyes seems to harden. He tries to get away from the elder’s grasp, but that only seems to anger the Archdeacon further, and before even a minute has passed, Sehun are now pressed against wall front first, arms held behind his back. Even then that doesn’t stop the younger from thrashing in the bruising hold.
It makes Joonmyeon furious.
“Very well.”
That night Joonmyeon watches the beautiful gypsy burn away on the stake, the object of his burning desire disappearing as ashes in the wind. But with the sin gone, Joonmyeon still felt as if it was himself burning on the stake, his body searing from the inside. A mix of a pain one would get from losing their loved one, and the pain one would get from turning away from God.
After all, one drop of wine is enough to redden a whole glass of water.