A beat for the lonely (oneshot)
Pairing: Sebaek, side Layhan
Word count: ~4000
Genre: Romance, AU
Summary: Baekhyun is a ballad singer who especially likes all the saddest songs about secret infatuations and unrequited love. To Sehun, it's like he's singing just for him.
Also posted on AFF here
* Title is from the lyrics of Undeniable - Mat Kearney
Baekhyun kisses Sehun with tender lips, smooth and eager, and elegant fingers woven through his hair. Sehun kisses back with longing, tastes Baekhyun with an earnest tongue. He pulls him closer with desire thrumming under his skin. Baekhyun kisses Sehun with the fervor of someone who has pushed his feelings aside for too long, and Sehun kisses back with the satisfaction of feeling this close to the one he has long admired in silence.
And then he wakes up.
Sehun watches raindrops pelt the window in an erratic rhythm as he lies still on his bed and tries to calm his racing pulse. It takes a moment before he blinks away the remnants of his dream enough to register the buzzing on his nightstand and his hand darts out to grab his vibrating phone.
“Hello?” His voice comes out scratchy.
“Don’t tell me you’ve been asleep all this time,” Luhan’s frustrated voice huffs on the other line.
“Um,” is all Sehun manages.
“Sehun,” Luhan groans, but there’s no real annoyance behind it. “Don’t tell me you forgot.”
“I didn’t forget!” Sehun exclaims automatically, then revises, “Okay, sorry...what am I not telling you I forgot?”
Luhan sighs. “I can’t believe you forgot that Jongdae and Kyungsoo have that gig tonight and we’re supposed to go and support them.”
“Oh you’re right! I really didn’t forget,” Sehun insists. “I’m sorry. I just thought I had enough time for a quick nap.”
“It’s almost 7pm already,” Luhan says expressionlessly.
“Sorry,” Sehun says again. “I’ll get ready.”
“Okay, I’m coming over in thirty,” says Luhan, and Sehun is about to hang up when he adds, “And Sehun?”
“Yeah?”
“Baekhyun will be there.”
Sehun hesitates as images from his dream of Baekhyun with his eyes closed and his hand on Sehun’s thigh flit tauntingly across his mind’s eye. “And...?”
“And, I know you like him.”
Sehun sits bolt upright, suddenly wide awake. “I--but--you--” he splutters unintelligibly, caught entirely off guard.
“Wear something nice,” Luhan says and Sehun can practically hear the knowing smirk he must have on his face. “Bye.”
“But--I--wait--hyung--” Sehun tries and fails several times to start a new defensive sentence, but Luhan has already hung up.
Sehun lets out a breath and stares accusingly at his phone for a moment as though it has personally wronged him before he slides off the bed.
Sehun does like Baekhyun, but it’s not that Sehun likes Baekhyun in the way that he wishes he were the one Baekhyun dedicates a song to almost every night he performs, imagines walking beside him with an arm tucked around his shoulders, or has dreams about kissing him...wait.
Okay, so maybe he likes Baekhyun a little.
Apparently nothing gets by the ever-perceptive Luhan.
~
“Does this meet your expectations for ‘something nice?’” Sehun asks as he lets Luhan into his apartment, gesturing to the tight black jeans and white button-up he had plucked from his closet.
Cupping his chin in his hand, Luhan looks him up and down once and nods. “You’ve done well, grasshopper.”
Sehun closes his eyes and rubs the skin above his eyebrows with his index fingers. “You’re ridiculous.”
“You love me,” Luhan simpers and Sehun swipes his keys and wallet off the counter.
“Okay let’s go.”
“Okay,” Luhan says, still perky. “If we get there early enough, you might be able to wish Baekhyun good luck before he goes onstage.”
He winks exaggeratedly and Sehun wants to groan at how embarrassing his hyung is but instead he confirms, “Baekhyun’s singing tonight?” Luhan had said he’d be there, but Sehun hadn’t been sure if he’d meant he was coming to watch or to sing.
Luhan nods happily as they slip into his convertible. It had stopped raining just before they left, the evening turning into a rather bright one with the sun barely beginning to dip below the horizon.
“He’s opening for Kyungsoo and Jongdae.”
Sehun sits back in his seat, nibbling his lip thoughtfully as Luhan pulls out of the driveway of the complex. Baekhyun opening for his other two friends would be a bit of a switch-up from the normal routine. Kyungsoo and Jongdae had largely gotten their start in the music world by opening for Baekhyun, who’d already gathered a loyal following of listeners by that time.
Sehun had felt almost starstruck when his friends first introduced them. He’d come to see several of Baekhyun’s performances before then, and his voice, technically accurate and overlaid with a shade of texture that was practically ideal for the emotionally-charged ballads he sang, had been difficult to get out of his head.
He’d be lying if he said Baekhyun’s face hadn’t made an impression on Sehun as well, but he hadn’t exactly mentioned that to anyone out loud. Damn Luhan and his sharp observation skills. Or maybe Luhan had just known Sehun for too long. Either way, Sehun had known Luhan long enough to be sure he wasn’t going to let this go too easily.
“Sehun?”
He doesn’t even realize he’d spaced out until Luhan is nudging him and saying, “Earth to Oh Sehun. We’re here.”
Sehun gets out of the car in front of the small venue--small, yes, but it’s a pretty nice place, he notes, impressed. They actually have to buy tickets at the front to get in.
The cozy interior is all standing room on the ground floor and a small balcony above. Sehun starts heading for a place at the front near the stage, but Luhan is pulling him toward the stairs before he can get very far. Sehun’s eyebrows jump closer together in suspicion. There are tables sprinkled around the balcony and probably a bar tucked away somewhere. He hopes Luhan isn’t planning to get drunk again like that time they went to one of Baekhyun’s first gigs with Luhan’s friend Yixing and they had screamed the lyrics to one of Baekhyun’s pop ballads like they were at a rock concert, attracting threatening stares from Baekhyun’s fans and from the security guard. Sehun had never felt more embarrassed in all his life, and to think Sehun is four years younger than those two.
“Where are we going?”
The words have barely left his mouth when he sees Kyungsoo, Jongdae, and Baekhyun hanging over the balcony.
“Hey!” Luhan greets them and they wave as he and Sehun approach.
“Hey,” Sehun says to the group after they’ve all greeted Luhan.
Baekhyun smiles. “Hey, Sehun. Thanks for coming.”
Sehun nods and tries not to swoon like a tween fan talking to a favorite idol, frantically scanning his thoughts for something to say to continue the conversation that isn’t a variant of “you look attractive in that suit” or “dear god, say my name again.”
Coming up with nothing, Luhan beats him to it. “Of course we came. What are you guys doing up here? Don’t you have to go on soon?”
“Soundcheck just finished,” Kyungsoo offers.
“We came up here to scope the place out,” Jongdae finishes. “We probably do need to get back down there now though.”
Baekhyun flicks deep chestnut bangs out of his eyes and looks at Sehun and Luhan as he says, “I don’t think we’ll have any trouble finding you two in the audience tonight.” His eyes slide up Luhan’s face to the crown of his head where bright orange tips of hair are gelled up neatly.
Luhan laughs, gripping a fistful of his nearly neon hair. “Oh, this? Yeah...I lost a bet.”
Jongdae raises an eyebrow. “What was the bet?”
“That I could allow Chanyeol to dye my hair without disastrous results.”
Jongdae cackles. Sehun’s lips twitch into laughter along with the others.
“Yeah, laugh it up,” Luhan says, lips twisting smugly. “I’m still prettier than all of you.”
“You’re a narcissist,” Jongdae declares.
“I’m awesome,” Luhan counters.
“Like I said, you’re a narcissist.”
“We really do need to get down there,” Kyungsoo says, reining them in. “Staff is probably having a fit...”
Baekhyun nods. “See you after the show,” he says to Sehun and Luhan.
“Good luck,” Sehun manages as the three of them head down the stairs.
They still manage to secure a spot close to the stage as the venue begins to fill up. “As long as Chanyeol or Wufan don’t come stand in front of us, here should be good,” Luhan says and Sehun laughs at the reference to their two especially vertically gifted friends.
It feels like two eternities have passed before Baekhyun finally comes out amidst enthusiastic yet docile applause. Smoke machines crank out shimmering vapor that swirls around Baekhyun, making him look like nothing less than an ethereal being up on the stage. There is no drummer, but the backing track is providing percussion while an elegant pianist is situated in the corner closest to Sehun and Luhan, and Sehun recognizes him with a start--he had forgotten that Zhang Yixing, Luhan’s close friend, sometimes plays as the piano accompanist for Baekhyun.
He sees Yixing give Luhan a brief smile, but all Sehun’s attention is back on the singer as he begins his set.
Baekhyun’s voice is like crushed glass that’s been artfully glued back together--beautiful, but rough around the edges enough to awaken the impression that anguish is positively pouring from his soul. His voice is powerful and it reaches inside Sehun and snags at his chest; it pricks behind his eyes and raises goosebumps on his skin. He knows Luhan would say he’s being dramatic. Sehun can’t disagree, but he also can’t seem to help it.
“This last song,” Baekhyun says into the mic, a little out of breath, “is dedicated to someone sort of special.”
Every female in the audience gasps, even though Sehun is sure many of them come to see Baekhyun as often as he does and they know he makes a dedication like this almost every time.
“This person...” Baekhyun pauses, scanning the whole audience from the balcony down to the front of the stage near where Sehun and Luhan are. Then he looks down at his mic and smiles. Sehun is close enough to see the light sheen of sweat on his skin, the little flick of his tongue as he licks his lips briefly. “This person really makes me feel the music.”
Girls are shrieking again as Yixing plays the opening chords of the song.
In contrast with how long they seemed to have to wait for Baekhyun to go on, it seems like it’s barely been one minute before he’s finished his entire set and is already introducing Jongdae and Kyungsoo.
Sehun watches him walk off the stage, catching how he gives low fives to Jongdae and Kyungsoo as they pass each other and he smiles, joining in the applause for his other friends. It really is a small venue; it feels intimate and he finds himself wishing he could spend a little longer listening to Baekhyun, but the other two command the stage just as well.
Kyungsoo’s voice is deep and soothing. No matter how far away from the stage you are, it sounds just like he’s crooning in your ear. Jongdae’s voice is schooled and rings out clear as he belts out high notes with little more effort than it takes a normal person to sign their name.
Sehun’s friends are talented, to say the least.
After their set, staff file out to fix up the stage for some acting crew that’s next on the schedule for that night’s entertainment. Luhan yawns when he and Sehun catch up with the three singers plus Yixing afterwards, just outside the roped off backstage area. “Why do you sing so many slow songs? I feel like I need coffee for the drive home now.”
Baekhyun chuckles. “I don’t know about coffee, but I would really like to meet the rest of you back out for some drinks later. You can take your car home first. You won’t be in any state to drive,” he promises with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“Let’s not overdo it,” Kyungsoo warns, looking pointedly at Yixing and Luhan.
“Ok, we promise not to overdo it,” Yixing says.
“Speak for yourself,” Luhan replies and Sehun inwardly bristles at the many memories he has of Luhan and Yixing and alcohol.
“Hyung, please,” Sehun begs and shapes his lips into a perfect pout, knowing Luhan is no match for his aegyo face.
“Okay fine, I promise not to overdo it,” Luhan concedes, ruffling Sehun’s hair.
~
Luhan almost overdoes it. So does Yixing, if the way they’re hanging all over each other is any indication. Sehun ends up drinking a little more than he means to himself, but he’s able to maintain his composure enough not to squeal or giggle when one of Baekhyun’s hands lands gently on his upper arm.
“It was nice of you to come tonight.”
Sehun hopes he can blame the alcohol for the blush on his face. “You know I like coming to see you.” He pauses awkwardly as he slowly realizes what kinds of connotations that probably has. “You’re talented,” he adds, bringing his glass up to his lips.
Baekhyun gives him an amused look. “I meant that I think Kyungsoo and Jongdae really appreciate their friends coming to one of the nicest places they’ve performed at so far, but I’m flattered that you think so.”
Sehun blushes even harder if possible and looks over at the other singers. They’re talking amicably next to the pair of Yixing and Luhan, who have their faces much closer together than Sehun thinks is necessary for them to hear each other.
Sehun clears his throat. He wants desperately to have a real conversation with Baekhyun, wants to know everything about him. There is so much he wants to ask, but his lips can never seem to catch up with his brain in his presence.
“Why do you sing?” is what he comes up with, and it sounds surprising even to his own ears. It’s a bit of a loaded question for this time of night and this level of sobriety.
Baekhyun doesn’t seem to find it strange, pondering the question for a moment. Sehun watches Baekhyun’s smooth pink lips as he parts them to speak.
“I want to make people feel something,” he answers simply. He shifts the ice back and forth in his nearly empty glass. “Your favorite song is your favorite because it stirs your soul. A great singer should give you that feeling, even if you’ve never heard the song before in your life. He can bring you to another time or place. Make you feel what he feels when he sings.”
“Have you felt everything that you sing about?” Sehun asks, thinking of both the dramatic, tear-jerking ballads and the sentimental love songs that Baekhyun sings. He wonders if the person he always dedicates a song to is someone who broke his heart or who put it back together.
“Not everything,” Baekhyun admits, his glittering eyes looking straight into Sehun’s. “Some things I just have to imagine the best I can.”
Sehun finishes his drink as Kyungsoo suddenly appears on his other side. “Well, I’m tired, I might call it a night soon,” he says.
“Might be a good idea,” Baekhyun says, looking over at Yixing, who doesn’t really look ready to leave yet. “Yixing and I are meeting with some new recording people tomorrow.”
Sehun looks down at his phone, surprised to find that it’s already past 1am. Baekhyun gets up to tear Yixing away and Sehun assumes that’s his cue to do the same with Luhan.
“What was Baekhyun saying to you? I saw you two getting rather cozy,” Luhan says once they’ve said goodnight to the others and are walking back to Sehun’s apartment.
“He was just telling me about singing,” Sehun says. He doesn’t let himself hope that it might have been a little more than that.
“I see,” Luhan says with suspicious undertones, but he doesn’t press the issue as they make the rest of the short journey back to Sehun’s place. He begins chattering excitedly about soccer; apparently Yixing had told him some new tidbit about the team that he likes, but Sehun doesn’t even follow most of it to be honest.
Sehun unlocks the apartment and thinks about the song dedications again. “Is Baekhyun single?” he blurts out in what he hopes is a casually curious tone of voice.
He doesn’t know why he bothers masking his true intent, since Luhan obviously knows what it is by now.
“As far as I know,” Luhan answers. “Now that I think about it, he’s never dated anyone I’ve known about since I’ve known him. I guess he and his music are exclusive.”
Sehun laughs as they both sink down onto the couch. “I could see that being the case.”
Luhan is quiet for a moment.
“He’s amazing,” Sehun says to fill the silence, no longer caring that he’s gushing embarrassingly. “He really touches people with his voice.”
“I don’t think that’s the only way you want him to touch you...”
Sehun remembers why he doesn’t voice thoughts like that in front of his best friend. He slaps Luhan with the nearest item he can grab, which happens to be a Wii remote. He whines and shields himself with a couch pillow.
“I saw you getting pretty cozy with Yixing.”
That shuts Luhan up and he flops over onto Sehun’s lap. “I’m tired. Time to sleep.”
“Let me get up then,” Sehun whines, trying to shove Luhan off his thighs.
“No. You’re warm and comfy.”
“What would Yixing think if he saw you with your head on my--”
“Okay okay,” Luhan mumbles into Sehun’s hip before pushing himself upright again. “Isn’t it past your bedtime? It’s certainly past mine.”
Sehun chooses to ignore that. “Who does Baekhyun always dedicate his songs to? Is it always the same person? Are you sure he’s not dating anyone?” he asks, watching Luhan press his face into the couch pillow.
“I don’t know,” Luhan murmurs tiredly. “But I wish he would date someone, actually.”
“Why’s that?”
“He seems like a lonely person,” Luhan slurs, words now muffled by the pillow. “Kind of like you,” he says after a few seconds of silence, voice barely even audible anymore.
“What? I am not,” Sehun scoffs.
Luhan says nothing.
“Hyung,” Sehun prods, poking a finger into Luhan’s side. He gets nothing but the deep, even breathing of Luhan asleep in response.
Sehun leaves Luhan curled up on the couch and goes to lie down in his own bed, still thinking of Baekhyun.
~
Sehun thinks of Baekhyun more than he’d like to admit to himself, and definitely more than he wants to admit to Luhan.
That’s why he feels like it’s getting slightly creepy when he is in line at the coffee shop the next morning, still mentally replaying the way Baekhyun had looked at him last night, and pondering his mystery song dedications, when he spots a familiar head of dark hair pouring a packet of sugar into his cup.
The cashier hands Sehun his change and he cautiously wanders over to the opposite counter. “Baekhyun?”
The shorter man turns around and his face breaks into a smile that has Sehun’s heart bouncing warmly in his chest. “Sehun,” he greets, surprised.
At that moment the barista puts Sehun’s cappuccino on the counter and he goes to retrieve it. When he turns back around, Yixing is standing beside Baekhyun.
“Fancy seeing you here,” he says to Sehun.
“Yeah, long time no see,” he replies, amused.
“Are you here with Luhan?” Yixing asks immediately.
Sehun opens his mouth to say no, he’s here alone, but Baekhyun cuts across him. “Down, boy,” he says to Yixing, clearly finding himself hilarious. “I’m sure pretty soon Luhan will call you or you’ll call Luhan and you’ll see each other and you’ll get to do whatever it is you’ve been wanting to do.”
Yixing seems to swallow his sip of coffee with some difficulty as Sehun censors his chuckle with the back of his hand.
“Let’s sit down,” Baekhyun suggests and they make their way to a little table at the back.
“I’m sure Luhan’s still asleep on my couch, actually,” Sehun says. “Maybe I should bring back an espresso for him.”
Yixing smiles fondly. Baekhyun’s phone vibrates and he gets up from his seat, coffee in hand. “Producer,” he mumbles. “I’ll be right back.”
Sehun watches Baekhyun walk away until he pushes open the door and then he looks back at Yixing, who’s calmly drinking his coffee with a pensive expression on his face.
“Hyung,” Sehun says, and the other raises his eyebrows as he meets his eyes. “You know how Baekhyun always dedicates a song to someone at the end of all his performances?”
Yixing nods.
“Do you know who it is?”
Yixing sucks his bottom lip into his mouth and then releases it with a pop. “I’ve been trying to figure that out myself,” he says. “He’s only started doing that sort of recently, actually. About since...” He trails off, narrowing his eyes at Sehun a little.
“Sorry about that,” Baekhyun says as he reappears beside the table. “Hey Yixing, unfortunately we have to get going now. He wants to go over a few things with us before we meet with those new recording engineers...” He nods at Sehun. “I guess we’ll catch you later, Sehun. Say hi to Luhan for us...for me, anyway. Yixing can talk to him himself.”
“Ok, sounds good.” Sehun laughs.
“Hey, before I forget though,” Baekhyun says, “what are you doing Friday night?”
Sehun just gapes for a moment. “I don’t really have any plans yet,” he says, trying to keep the hope out of his voice.
Baekhyun smiles. “Well, I don’t know if I mentioned...I just recorded some new material for future albums. And I got a gig at this jazz bar downtown...kinda weird, I know, but somehow they heard and liked the demo of this one song, and they want me to perform it before their regular act for the night comes on. No pressure, I just...I’d love it if you came.”
Sehun stares at him, coffee cup paused halfway to his lips. “I...yeah. Yeah. Sure. Of course. I’ll be there.”
Yixing looks amused at his use of more affirmatives than necessary and Sehun quickly takes a gulp of coffee just for something to do. He fights to keep his face impassive when it burns his tongue a little.
“Cool,” Baekhyun responds. “I’ll see you Friday.”
“It’s a date,” Sehun says quietly to himself as he watches them leave. He takes his time drinking the rest of his coffee.
~
Sehun doesn’t bring Luhan along, but Luhan is there on his own personal business anyway. He finds out as he steps inside the jazz club and sees him and Yixing steal a kiss behind the piano before Luhan has to leave the stage so the performance can start.
Yixing is smiling when he pulls away, Luhan gently rubbing a thumb over Yixing’s hand like he doesn’t want to let go. Sehun watches them, suddenly feeling very much on the outside of things. He pushes his lips into a smile as Luhan slips into the space beside him.
Baekhyun steps on the stage to a smattering of polite applause. Luhan shouts, “Baekhyun-ah!” and receives curious stares from the people around them.
“I have just one song for you tonight,” Baekhyun says after he briefly introduces himself. “If you like it, make sure to keep an eye out for the album when it comes out. Thank you.”
More scattered applause.
Baekhyun takes a breath and Sehun expects him to start singing, but instead he says, “I’d like to dedicate this song to someone sort of special.”
Sehun blinks. He should have predicted the little dedication by now, but somehow it catches him off guard.
“This person is actually here tonight,” Baekhyun says, smiling almost shyly with half of his mouth.
Okay, Sehun definitely hadn’t predicted that. He snaps his gaze over to Luhan next to him, but he’s still calmly watching the stage like this doesn’t surprise him in the least.
Sehun’s eyes sweep back over to the stage to find Baekhyun looking directly at him. A jolt zings through Sehun’s chest.
“His name is Sehun, and he helps me feel the music. He’s not even a musician, but I think he feels the music very deeply too. I want to thank him for always supporting me, and our mutual friends for introducing us. Sehun, this one’s for you.”
Baekhyun winks as Yixing plays the opening chords, and Sehun feels like the world has suddenly started spinning so fast that he’s about to get flung off the face of the earth because this can’t be right and yet here he is, standing on the floor of a tiny jazz club while Baekhyun sings a song for him with his crushed glass voice.
****
Baekhyun kisses Sehun with a gentle smile that presses against his own, reassurance that this isn’t a dream. Sehun kisses back with sincere lips and a promise that there are some things he will no longer have to imagine when he sings about love.
Word count: ~4000
Genre: Romance, AU
Summary: Baekhyun is a ballad singer who especially likes all the saddest songs about secret infatuations and unrequited love. To Sehun, it's like he's singing just for him.
Also posted on AFF here
* Title is from the lyrics of Undeniable - Mat Kearney
Baekhyun kisses Sehun with tender lips, smooth and eager, and elegant fingers woven through his hair. Sehun kisses back with longing, tastes Baekhyun with an earnest tongue. He pulls him closer with desire thrumming under his skin. Baekhyun kisses Sehun with the fervor of someone who has pushed his feelings aside for too long, and Sehun kisses back with the satisfaction of feeling this close to the one he has long admired in silence.
And then he wakes up.
Sehun watches raindrops pelt the window in an erratic rhythm as he lies still on his bed and tries to calm his racing pulse. It takes a moment before he blinks away the remnants of his dream enough to register the buzzing on his nightstand and his hand darts out to grab his vibrating phone.
“Hello?” His voice comes out scratchy.
“Don’t tell me you’ve been asleep all this time,” Luhan’s frustrated voice huffs on the other line.
“Um,” is all Sehun manages.
“Sehun,” Luhan groans, but there’s no real annoyance behind it. “Don’t tell me you forgot.”
“I didn’t forget!” Sehun exclaims automatically, then revises, “Okay, sorry...what am I not telling you I forgot?”
Luhan sighs. “I can’t believe you forgot that Jongdae and Kyungsoo have that gig tonight and we’re supposed to go and support them.”
“Oh you’re right! I really didn’t forget,” Sehun insists. “I’m sorry. I just thought I had enough time for a quick nap.”
“It’s almost 7pm already,” Luhan says expressionlessly.
“Sorry,” Sehun says again. “I’ll get ready.”
“Okay, I’m coming over in thirty,” says Luhan, and Sehun is about to hang up when he adds, “And Sehun?”
“Yeah?”
“Baekhyun will be there.”
Sehun hesitates as images from his dream of Baekhyun with his eyes closed and his hand on Sehun’s thigh flit tauntingly across his mind’s eye. “And...?”
“And, I know you like him.”
Sehun sits bolt upright, suddenly wide awake. “I--but--you--” he splutters unintelligibly, caught entirely off guard.
“Wear something nice,” Luhan says and Sehun can practically hear the knowing smirk he must have on his face. “Bye.”
“But--I--wait--hyung--” Sehun tries and fails several times to start a new defensive sentence, but Luhan has already hung up.
Sehun lets out a breath and stares accusingly at his phone for a moment as though it has personally wronged him before he slides off the bed.
Sehun does like Baekhyun, but it’s not that Sehun likes Baekhyun in the way that he wishes he were the one Baekhyun dedicates a song to almost every night he performs, imagines walking beside him with an arm tucked around his shoulders, or has dreams about kissing him...wait.
Okay, so maybe he likes Baekhyun a little.
Apparently nothing gets by the ever-perceptive Luhan.
~
“Does this meet your expectations for ‘something nice?’” Sehun asks as he lets Luhan into his apartment, gesturing to the tight black jeans and white button-up he had plucked from his closet.
Cupping his chin in his hand, Luhan looks him up and down once and nods. “You’ve done well, grasshopper.”
Sehun closes his eyes and rubs the skin above his eyebrows with his index fingers. “You’re ridiculous.”
“You love me,” Luhan simpers and Sehun swipes his keys and wallet off the counter.
“Okay let’s go.”
“Okay,” Luhan says, still perky. “If we get there early enough, you might be able to wish Baekhyun good luck before he goes onstage.”
He winks exaggeratedly and Sehun wants to groan at how embarrassing his hyung is but instead he confirms, “Baekhyun’s singing tonight?” Luhan had said he’d be there, but Sehun hadn’t been sure if he’d meant he was coming to watch or to sing.
Luhan nods happily as they slip into his convertible. It had stopped raining just before they left, the evening turning into a rather bright one with the sun barely beginning to dip below the horizon.
“He’s opening for Kyungsoo and Jongdae.”
Sehun sits back in his seat, nibbling his lip thoughtfully as Luhan pulls out of the driveway of the complex. Baekhyun opening for his other two friends would be a bit of a switch-up from the normal routine. Kyungsoo and Jongdae had largely gotten their start in the music world by opening for Baekhyun, who’d already gathered a loyal following of listeners by that time.
Sehun had felt almost starstruck when his friends first introduced them. He’d come to see several of Baekhyun’s performances before then, and his voice, technically accurate and overlaid with a shade of texture that was practically ideal for the emotionally-charged ballads he sang, had been difficult to get out of his head.
He’d be lying if he said Baekhyun’s face hadn’t made an impression on Sehun as well, but he hadn’t exactly mentioned that to anyone out loud. Damn Luhan and his sharp observation skills. Or maybe Luhan had just known Sehun for too long. Either way, Sehun had known Luhan long enough to be sure he wasn’t going to let this go too easily.
“Sehun?”
He doesn’t even realize he’d spaced out until Luhan is nudging him and saying, “Earth to Oh Sehun. We’re here.”
Sehun gets out of the car in front of the small venue--small, yes, but it’s a pretty nice place, he notes, impressed. They actually have to buy tickets at the front to get in.
The cozy interior is all standing room on the ground floor and a small balcony above. Sehun starts heading for a place at the front near the stage, but Luhan is pulling him toward the stairs before he can get very far. Sehun’s eyebrows jump closer together in suspicion. There are tables sprinkled around the balcony and probably a bar tucked away somewhere. He hopes Luhan isn’t planning to get drunk again like that time they went to one of Baekhyun’s first gigs with Luhan’s friend Yixing and they had screamed the lyrics to one of Baekhyun’s pop ballads like they were at a rock concert, attracting threatening stares from Baekhyun’s fans and from the security guard. Sehun had never felt more embarrassed in all his life, and to think Sehun is four years younger than those two.
“Where are we going?”
The words have barely left his mouth when he sees Kyungsoo, Jongdae, and Baekhyun hanging over the balcony.
“Hey!” Luhan greets them and they wave as he and Sehun approach.
“Hey,” Sehun says to the group after they’ve all greeted Luhan.
Baekhyun smiles. “Hey, Sehun. Thanks for coming.”
Sehun nods and tries not to swoon like a tween fan talking to a favorite idol, frantically scanning his thoughts for something to say to continue the conversation that isn’t a variant of “you look attractive in that suit” or “dear god, say my name again.”
Coming up with nothing, Luhan beats him to it. “Of course we came. What are you guys doing up here? Don’t you have to go on soon?”
“Soundcheck just finished,” Kyungsoo offers.
“We came up here to scope the place out,” Jongdae finishes. “We probably do need to get back down there now though.”
Baekhyun flicks deep chestnut bangs out of his eyes and looks at Sehun and Luhan as he says, “I don’t think we’ll have any trouble finding you two in the audience tonight.” His eyes slide up Luhan’s face to the crown of his head where bright orange tips of hair are gelled up neatly.
Luhan laughs, gripping a fistful of his nearly neon hair. “Oh, this? Yeah...I lost a bet.”
Jongdae raises an eyebrow. “What was the bet?”
“That I could allow Chanyeol to dye my hair without disastrous results.”
Jongdae cackles. Sehun’s lips twitch into laughter along with the others.
“Yeah, laugh it up,” Luhan says, lips twisting smugly. “I’m still prettier than all of you.”
“You’re a narcissist,” Jongdae declares.
“I’m awesome,” Luhan counters.
“Like I said, you’re a narcissist.”
“We really do need to get down there,” Kyungsoo says, reining them in. “Staff is probably having a fit...”
Baekhyun nods. “See you after the show,” he says to Sehun and Luhan.
“Good luck,” Sehun manages as the three of them head down the stairs.
They still manage to secure a spot close to the stage as the venue begins to fill up. “As long as Chanyeol or Wufan don’t come stand in front of us, here should be good,” Luhan says and Sehun laughs at the reference to their two especially vertically gifted friends.
It feels like two eternities have passed before Baekhyun finally comes out amidst enthusiastic yet docile applause. Smoke machines crank out shimmering vapor that swirls around Baekhyun, making him look like nothing less than an ethereal being up on the stage. There is no drummer, but the backing track is providing percussion while an elegant pianist is situated in the corner closest to Sehun and Luhan, and Sehun recognizes him with a start--he had forgotten that Zhang Yixing, Luhan’s close friend, sometimes plays as the piano accompanist for Baekhyun.
He sees Yixing give Luhan a brief smile, but all Sehun’s attention is back on the singer as he begins his set.
Baekhyun’s voice is like crushed glass that’s been artfully glued back together--beautiful, but rough around the edges enough to awaken the impression that anguish is positively pouring from his soul. His voice is powerful and it reaches inside Sehun and snags at his chest; it pricks behind his eyes and raises goosebumps on his skin. He knows Luhan would say he’s being dramatic. Sehun can’t disagree, but he also can’t seem to help it.
“This last song,” Baekhyun says into the mic, a little out of breath, “is dedicated to someone sort of special.”
Every female in the audience gasps, even though Sehun is sure many of them come to see Baekhyun as often as he does and they know he makes a dedication like this almost every time.
“This person...” Baekhyun pauses, scanning the whole audience from the balcony down to the front of the stage near where Sehun and Luhan are. Then he looks down at his mic and smiles. Sehun is close enough to see the light sheen of sweat on his skin, the little flick of his tongue as he licks his lips briefly. “This person really makes me feel the music.”
Girls are shrieking again as Yixing plays the opening chords of the song.
In contrast with how long they seemed to have to wait for Baekhyun to go on, it seems like it’s barely been one minute before he’s finished his entire set and is already introducing Jongdae and Kyungsoo.
Sehun watches him walk off the stage, catching how he gives low fives to Jongdae and Kyungsoo as they pass each other and he smiles, joining in the applause for his other friends. It really is a small venue; it feels intimate and he finds himself wishing he could spend a little longer listening to Baekhyun, but the other two command the stage just as well.
Kyungsoo’s voice is deep and soothing. No matter how far away from the stage you are, it sounds just like he’s crooning in your ear. Jongdae’s voice is schooled and rings out clear as he belts out high notes with little more effort than it takes a normal person to sign their name.
Sehun’s friends are talented, to say the least.
After their set, staff file out to fix up the stage for some acting crew that’s next on the schedule for that night’s entertainment. Luhan yawns when he and Sehun catch up with the three singers plus Yixing afterwards, just outside the roped off backstage area. “Why do you sing so many slow songs? I feel like I need coffee for the drive home now.”
Baekhyun chuckles. “I don’t know about coffee, but I would really like to meet the rest of you back out for some drinks later. You can take your car home first. You won’t be in any state to drive,” he promises with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“Let’s not overdo it,” Kyungsoo warns, looking pointedly at Yixing and Luhan.
“Ok, we promise not to overdo it,” Yixing says.
“Speak for yourself,” Luhan replies and Sehun inwardly bristles at the many memories he has of Luhan and Yixing and alcohol.
“Hyung, please,” Sehun begs and shapes his lips into a perfect pout, knowing Luhan is no match for his aegyo face.
“Okay fine, I promise not to overdo it,” Luhan concedes, ruffling Sehun’s hair.
~
Luhan almost overdoes it. So does Yixing, if the way they’re hanging all over each other is any indication. Sehun ends up drinking a little more than he means to himself, but he’s able to maintain his composure enough not to squeal or giggle when one of Baekhyun’s hands lands gently on his upper arm.
“It was nice of you to come tonight.”
Sehun hopes he can blame the alcohol for the blush on his face. “You know I like coming to see you.” He pauses awkwardly as he slowly realizes what kinds of connotations that probably has. “You’re talented,” he adds, bringing his glass up to his lips.
Baekhyun gives him an amused look. “I meant that I think Kyungsoo and Jongdae really appreciate their friends coming to one of the nicest places they’ve performed at so far, but I’m flattered that you think so.”
Sehun blushes even harder if possible and looks over at the other singers. They’re talking amicably next to the pair of Yixing and Luhan, who have their faces much closer together than Sehun thinks is necessary for them to hear each other.
Sehun clears his throat. He wants desperately to have a real conversation with Baekhyun, wants to know everything about him. There is so much he wants to ask, but his lips can never seem to catch up with his brain in his presence.
“Why do you sing?” is what he comes up with, and it sounds surprising even to his own ears. It’s a bit of a loaded question for this time of night and this level of sobriety.
Baekhyun doesn’t seem to find it strange, pondering the question for a moment. Sehun watches Baekhyun’s smooth pink lips as he parts them to speak.
“I want to make people feel something,” he answers simply. He shifts the ice back and forth in his nearly empty glass. “Your favorite song is your favorite because it stirs your soul. A great singer should give you that feeling, even if you’ve never heard the song before in your life. He can bring you to another time or place. Make you feel what he feels when he sings.”
“Have you felt everything that you sing about?” Sehun asks, thinking of both the dramatic, tear-jerking ballads and the sentimental love songs that Baekhyun sings. He wonders if the person he always dedicates a song to is someone who broke his heart or who put it back together.
“Not everything,” Baekhyun admits, his glittering eyes looking straight into Sehun’s. “Some things I just have to imagine the best I can.”
Sehun finishes his drink as Kyungsoo suddenly appears on his other side. “Well, I’m tired, I might call it a night soon,” he says.
“Might be a good idea,” Baekhyun says, looking over at Yixing, who doesn’t really look ready to leave yet. “Yixing and I are meeting with some new recording people tomorrow.”
Sehun looks down at his phone, surprised to find that it’s already past 1am. Baekhyun gets up to tear Yixing away and Sehun assumes that’s his cue to do the same with Luhan.
“What was Baekhyun saying to you? I saw you two getting rather cozy,” Luhan says once they’ve said goodnight to the others and are walking back to Sehun’s apartment.
“He was just telling me about singing,” Sehun says. He doesn’t let himself hope that it might have been a little more than that.
“I see,” Luhan says with suspicious undertones, but he doesn’t press the issue as they make the rest of the short journey back to Sehun’s place. He begins chattering excitedly about soccer; apparently Yixing had told him some new tidbit about the team that he likes, but Sehun doesn’t even follow most of it to be honest.
Sehun unlocks the apartment and thinks about the song dedications again. “Is Baekhyun single?” he blurts out in what he hopes is a casually curious tone of voice.
He doesn’t know why he bothers masking his true intent, since Luhan obviously knows what it is by now.
“As far as I know,” Luhan answers. “Now that I think about it, he’s never dated anyone I’ve known about since I’ve known him. I guess he and his music are exclusive.”
Sehun laughs as they both sink down onto the couch. “I could see that being the case.”
Luhan is quiet for a moment.
“He’s amazing,” Sehun says to fill the silence, no longer caring that he’s gushing embarrassingly. “He really touches people with his voice.”
“I don’t think that’s the only way you want him to touch you...”
Sehun remembers why he doesn’t voice thoughts like that in front of his best friend. He slaps Luhan with the nearest item he can grab, which happens to be a Wii remote. He whines and shields himself with a couch pillow.
“I saw you getting pretty cozy with Yixing.”
That shuts Luhan up and he flops over onto Sehun’s lap. “I’m tired. Time to sleep.”
“Let me get up then,” Sehun whines, trying to shove Luhan off his thighs.
“No. You’re warm and comfy.”
“What would Yixing think if he saw you with your head on my--”
“Okay okay,” Luhan mumbles into Sehun’s hip before pushing himself upright again. “Isn’t it past your bedtime? It’s certainly past mine.”
Sehun chooses to ignore that. “Who does Baekhyun always dedicate his songs to? Is it always the same person? Are you sure he’s not dating anyone?” he asks, watching Luhan press his face into the couch pillow.
“I don’t know,” Luhan murmurs tiredly. “But I wish he would date someone, actually.”
“Why’s that?”
“He seems like a lonely person,” Luhan slurs, words now muffled by the pillow. “Kind of like you,” he says after a few seconds of silence, voice barely even audible anymore.
“What? I am not,” Sehun scoffs.
Luhan says nothing.
“Hyung,” Sehun prods, poking a finger into Luhan’s side. He gets nothing but the deep, even breathing of Luhan asleep in response.
Sehun leaves Luhan curled up on the couch and goes to lie down in his own bed, still thinking of Baekhyun.
~
Sehun thinks of Baekhyun more than he’d like to admit to himself, and definitely more than he wants to admit to Luhan.
That’s why he feels like it’s getting slightly creepy when he is in line at the coffee shop the next morning, still mentally replaying the way Baekhyun had looked at him last night, and pondering his mystery song dedications, when he spots a familiar head of dark hair pouring a packet of sugar into his cup.
The cashier hands Sehun his change and he cautiously wanders over to the opposite counter. “Baekhyun?”
The shorter man turns around and his face breaks into a smile that has Sehun’s heart bouncing warmly in his chest. “Sehun,” he greets, surprised.
At that moment the barista puts Sehun’s cappuccino on the counter and he goes to retrieve it. When he turns back around, Yixing is standing beside Baekhyun.
“Fancy seeing you here,” he says to Sehun.
“Yeah, long time no see,” he replies, amused.
“Are you here with Luhan?” Yixing asks immediately.
Sehun opens his mouth to say no, he’s here alone, but Baekhyun cuts across him. “Down, boy,” he says to Yixing, clearly finding himself hilarious. “I’m sure pretty soon Luhan will call you or you’ll call Luhan and you’ll see each other and you’ll get to do whatever it is you’ve been wanting to do.”
Yixing seems to swallow his sip of coffee with some difficulty as Sehun censors his chuckle with the back of his hand.
“Let’s sit down,” Baekhyun suggests and they make their way to a little table at the back.
“I’m sure Luhan’s still asleep on my couch, actually,” Sehun says. “Maybe I should bring back an espresso for him.”
Yixing smiles fondly. Baekhyun’s phone vibrates and he gets up from his seat, coffee in hand. “Producer,” he mumbles. “I’ll be right back.”
Sehun watches Baekhyun walk away until he pushes open the door and then he looks back at Yixing, who’s calmly drinking his coffee with a pensive expression on his face.
“Hyung,” Sehun says, and the other raises his eyebrows as he meets his eyes. “You know how Baekhyun always dedicates a song to someone at the end of all his performances?”
Yixing nods.
“Do you know who it is?”
Yixing sucks his bottom lip into his mouth and then releases it with a pop. “I’ve been trying to figure that out myself,” he says. “He’s only started doing that sort of recently, actually. About since...” He trails off, narrowing his eyes at Sehun a little.
“Sorry about that,” Baekhyun says as he reappears beside the table. “Hey Yixing, unfortunately we have to get going now. He wants to go over a few things with us before we meet with those new recording engineers...” He nods at Sehun. “I guess we’ll catch you later, Sehun. Say hi to Luhan for us...for me, anyway. Yixing can talk to him himself.”
“Ok, sounds good.” Sehun laughs.
“Hey, before I forget though,” Baekhyun says, “what are you doing Friday night?”
Sehun just gapes for a moment. “I don’t really have any plans yet,” he says, trying to keep the hope out of his voice.
Baekhyun smiles. “Well, I don’t know if I mentioned...I just recorded some new material for future albums. And I got a gig at this jazz bar downtown...kinda weird, I know, but somehow they heard and liked the demo of this one song, and they want me to perform it before their regular act for the night comes on. No pressure, I just...I’d love it if you came.”
Sehun stares at him, coffee cup paused halfway to his lips. “I...yeah. Yeah. Sure. Of course. I’ll be there.”
Yixing looks amused at his use of more affirmatives than necessary and Sehun quickly takes a gulp of coffee just for something to do. He fights to keep his face impassive when it burns his tongue a little.
“Cool,” Baekhyun responds. “I’ll see you Friday.”
“It’s a date,” Sehun says quietly to himself as he watches them leave. He takes his time drinking the rest of his coffee.
~
Sehun doesn’t bring Luhan along, but Luhan is there on his own personal business anyway. He finds out as he steps inside the jazz club and sees him and Yixing steal a kiss behind the piano before Luhan has to leave the stage so the performance can start.
Yixing is smiling when he pulls away, Luhan gently rubbing a thumb over Yixing’s hand like he doesn’t want to let go. Sehun watches them, suddenly feeling very much on the outside of things. He pushes his lips into a smile as Luhan slips into the space beside him.
Baekhyun steps on the stage to a smattering of polite applause. Luhan shouts, “Baekhyun-ah!” and receives curious stares from the people around them.
“I have just one song for you tonight,” Baekhyun says after he briefly introduces himself. “If you like it, make sure to keep an eye out for the album when it comes out. Thank you.”
More scattered applause.
Baekhyun takes a breath and Sehun expects him to start singing, but instead he says, “I’d like to dedicate this song to someone sort of special.”
Sehun blinks. He should have predicted the little dedication by now, but somehow it catches him off guard.
“This person is actually here tonight,” Baekhyun says, smiling almost shyly with half of his mouth.
Okay, Sehun definitely hadn’t predicted that. He snaps his gaze over to Luhan next to him, but he’s still calmly watching the stage like this doesn’t surprise him in the least.
Sehun’s eyes sweep back over to the stage to find Baekhyun looking directly at him. A jolt zings through Sehun’s chest.
“His name is Sehun, and he helps me feel the music. He’s not even a musician, but I think he feels the music very deeply too. I want to thank him for always supporting me, and our mutual friends for introducing us. Sehun, this one’s for you.”
Baekhyun winks as Yixing plays the opening chords, and Sehun feels like the world has suddenly started spinning so fast that he’s about to get flung off the face of the earth because this can’t be right and yet here he is, standing on the floor of a tiny jazz club while Baekhyun sings a song for him with his crushed glass voice.
****
Baekhyun kisses Sehun with a gentle smile that presses against his own, reassurance that this isn’t a dream. Sehun kisses back with sincere lips and a promise that there are some things he will no longer have to imagine when he sings about love.