☁ signed, sincerely me
i've got some things i'd like to set in pen
sehun/kyungsoo
pg-13
Kyungsoo has problems.
1. He’s currently the dating advice columnist for the college newspaper, even though he really hates people and he hates their feelings even more.
2. That weird kid in his sociology class who keeps trying to talk to him. The only reason he keeps Baekhyun around is so that he can keep people away from him.
(Baekhyun is another problem- a minor one, but still a problem. His inability to keep Kyungsoo from being roped into shit like writing for a dating advice column is something that Kyungsoo will never forgive.)
Kyungsoo’s more concerned about #1 though, because he’s pretty good at ignoring people’s existence and that’s what he’s doing with that freakishly tall kid in his class- ignoring that he exists. Kyungsoo is okay with weird because he’s friends with Baekhyun, but Weird Tall Kid is just…weird. He isn’t just Weird Tall Kid, he's Weird Tall Kid.
Weird Tall Kid is always sniffing his friend’s coffee and once he’s done sniffing the coffee, he sniffs his friend. Who goes around sniffing people? Once he bumped into Kyungsoo and faceplanted into his head, and Kyungsoo swears he sniffed him.
Back to #1 though.
It was supposed to be a few weeks. A month at most, is what Junmyeon had promised when he had begged Kyungsoo to temporarily fill in for the college paper’s dating advice column.
Honestly. What the fuck? Did Junmyeon not have any other friends? Why would he possibly think that:
a. Kyungsoo would want to do this? Ever?
b. Kyungsoo was capable of giving people advice on love?
“Wouldn’t you rather have someone with feelings run the column?” Baekhyun had piped up.
Kyungsoo still isn’t sure he had managed to get roped into this, even with Baekhyun arguing his case, but Junmyeon was a filthy liar. It’s been six months and Kyungsoo is still in charge of the What is Love column, pretending he cares about people and their love problems.
Kyungsoo is surprised Junmyeon has put up with him for six months- it’s not like Kyungsoo hadn’t tried his hardest to get fired since Day One.
dear dr. xoxo,
my bf & i have been dating for 3 months now but he still hasn’t told his friends abt us. :( he’s very sweet when we’re 2gthr but he’s cold when we’re around other ppl. what do i do?
- sad n confused
dear sad n confused,
kill him.
“Uhh, Kyungsoo…” Junmyeon is frowning at the paper he’s holding. “You can’t…” He looks like he’s trying to choose his words carefully. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to…encourage murder.”
Kyungsoo stares at him. “But her boyfriend’s an idiot. She should get rid of him. Or he should get rid of him.”
Junmyeon looks pained. “Try to be more sympathetic.”
Baekhyun snorts from where he’s sitting beside Kyungsoo, scrolling through pictures on one of the dating apps he’s always on. “That’s cute, you think Kyungsoo does sympathy.”
ϟ
dear dr. xoxo,
my ex-gf and i split up a month ago. i started seeing someone else and now my ex is showing signs that she’s interested again. what should i do?
- 2manywomen
God, Kyungsoo fucking hates people.
“There are no new dating apps to try out,” Baekhyun complains beside him, sighing at his phone.
“Try going back to an old one. Maybe there are new losers looking to date a twink,” Kyungsoo says as he types out ‘dear 2manywomen’ and tries not to follow it with ‘you sound like a tool and you don’t deserve any women.’
Baekhyun hums as he scrolls through his apps. “Tinder...too straight. Grindr...too gay.” He sighs again. “Where are all the rich people?”
Kyungsoo snorts. “You really are an awful human being.”
“What? I’m honest.”
“I can’t believe you get so many dates even though you openly say you’re only interested in people who are rich,” Kyungsoo says. He types out his answer and emails it to Junmyeon.
“Kyungsoo.” Junmyeon looks up in exasperation. “‘You are an asshole’ is not an appropriate reply. You don’t even know this person.”
“I don’t need to know him,” Kyungsoo answers. “If he's signing his name as 2manywomen, he's an asshole and doesn’t deserve any help.”
Junmyeon looks like he’s trying not to roll his eyes. “I told you, you don’t have to answer all of these. We can’t publish all of them, people know that. Choose another letter.”
“Print that one,” Kyungsoo says and stares down Junmyeon. “I’m pretty sure 2manywomen hasn’t been called out on his shit before and he should.”
Baekhyun finally looks up from his phone. “How has this paper not been sued yet?”
“I hope we do get sued,” Kyungsoo says, ignoring Junmyeon’s choked sounds. “Then I can find out who this tool is.”
“We can’t be sued,” Junmyeon says, “we’d just be...cancelled.”
“Wouldn’t that be a shame,” Kyungsoo deadpans.
ϟ
dear dr. xoxo,
there’s a cute boy in my class, but i don’t think he even knows my name. :’(
- oaishfaiofhadsf
dear oaishfaiofhadsf,
tell him your name.
ϟ
Kyungsoo is reading a letter from someone called ‘miss picky’ in class when someone sits down beside him. He looks up ready to talk about the letter when he realizes it’s not Baekhyun but Weird Tall Kid.
“I’m Sehun,” Weird Tall Kid says, as if Kyungsoo had asked him, and then to Kyungsoo’s horror, he reaches out for Kyungsoo’s cup. He knows what he’s going to do and he scowls when Weird Tall Kid- Sehun- lifts up the lid and sniffs it.
Kyungsoo is so angry that he can’t think of any words to say to this invasion of...he doesn’t know, but people aren’t allowed to go sniffing other people’s coffees. It’s rude.
Sehun wrinkles his nose and his lips curl down in disapproval. Kyungsoo has never met anyone who looks like they’ve perfected the art of the frown, but he’s certain Sehun is pretty close. “Black coffee. That’s gross.”
“I wasn’t aware that I asked for your opinion,” Kyungsoo says, glaring as Sehun sets down his coffee cup.
“I just wanted to know what kind of coffee you drink.”
“Why? So you can mooch off me like you usually mooch off your friend?” It’s nine in the morning and Kyungsoo has no coffee now because he’s not going to drink something Weird Tall Kid has sniffed. Who knows where else that stupid nose has been? (Okay, Kyungsoo supposes it’s actually a nicely-structured nose...if noses were your thing.)
“I don’t mooch,” Sehun says. “Friends share.”
Kyungsoo gives him an icy look. “When did we become friends?”
ϟ
dear dr. xoxo,
i recently found out that my brother has been going out with my ex. isn’t there a rule where exes are off-limits?
- betrayed
dear betrayed,
no. you were broken up anyway. if your brother’s happy, don’t be a jerk.
“You’re turning soft,” Baekhyun says, reading Kyungsoo’s column over his shoulder- ugh, when did he start thinking of this as his column? “That’s actually good advice.”
“Maybe if you stopped calling them names….” Junmyeon sends him a hopeful look and Kyungsoo just ignores him.
“Why weren’t you in class today?” Kyungsoo asks. “That weird kid sat beside me and introduced himself.”
Baekhyun raises an eyebrow. “Sehun?”
Kyungsoo turns away from his computer. “You knew his name?”
Baekhyun shrugs. “Sure. I know his cute friend, Tao. Anyway I met up with some guy from Grindr. That’s why I wasn’t in class.”
“I thought Grindr was too gay,” Junmyeon says.
“Yeah, well, so am I,” Baekhyun says, flashing his teeth at him. “But anyway he told me about this new dating app called Luxy.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Sounds douche’y,” he says, turning back to his computer and opening the next email.
Baekhyun is beaming at his phone. “No, it sounds great, listen. Luxy is the #1 luxury millionaire dating app for wealthy men and women and beautiful people to meet, chat and date with other like-minded local singles in their area.”
“But you’re not wealthy.”
“That’s not the point,” Baekhyun says. “This is an app that has my future husband. Or sugar daddy, you know, whatever.” He continues reading. “This is perfect. ‘So that its users will only mingle with rich people.’ Yes! I’m getting butterflies. ‘Just like themselves.’” Baekhyun pauses. “...oh.”
“Well, that crashed and burned quickly.” Kyungsoo frowns at his computer. “I think this is the same guy who wrote to me two days ago.”
“This is so unfair!” Baekhyun complains. “How am I going to trick some rich idiot into marrying me if he has an app that tells him I’m poor?” He frowns at this phone. “It won’t even let me download the app. Can the app already tell I’m poor?”
“Why do you need all these apps?” Junmyeon asks. “What’s wrong with meeting people the old fashioned way?”
“Uh, okay, thanks for that, grandpa,” Baekhyun says, pouting at his phone. “But meeting people the old fashioned way apparently ends in writing in to some lame dating column.”
“I need better friends,” Kyungsoo mumbles under his breath.
ϟ
dear dr. xoxo,
i told him my name. now what?
- asddfybvgcfxesd
dear asddfybvgcfxesd,
do you need a step by step guide? talk to him.
ϟ
“Hi.”
Kyungsoo snatches up his coffee cup as soon as he hears Sehun’s voice. Should he be bothered that he can recognize Sehun’s voice without seeing him?”
“I have my own,” Sehun says, taking the seat next to him.
Baekhyun looks up from his phone. He gives Sehun a curious look but he doesn’t say anything. Like ask what he’s doing here. Kyungsoo scowls. Baekhyun is useless.
“What do you want?”
“Just to talk,” Sehun says, pulling out his textbook. Ugh. Was he going to sit here for the entire class?
Baekhyun’s eyebrows rise and Kyungsoo assumes someone either really hot or really disturbing has messaged him on one of his several dating apps
“About what?”
Sehun pauses as if he hasn’t thought this far ahead. “I like history,” he finally says. “What’s your favourite class?”
Baekhyun lets out a snort but he’s staring fixedly at his phone.
“Not this one,” Kyungsoo says pointedly.
Sehun gives him a blank look. “I like coffee,” he says. “Except for that stuff you drink. How can you drink that?”
Kyungsoo frowns. Why was he being weirder than usual? “I don’t really like it. It wakes me up,” he says. “My first coffee’s black, but I usually have it with two sugars later.”
“Oh.” Sehun looks pleased. “Me too! Two sugars.” After a beat, he adds, “And milk.”
“You’re both weak,” Baekhyun says, but Kyungsoo is distracted because Sehun is smiling and it’s not…unflattering.
ϟ
“Kyungsoo, what are your top five luxury brands?”
Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. “My what?”
“This Luxy app. I found a hack so I could download it.” Baekhyun waves his phone at him. “I have to name my top five luxury brands on my profile.”
“Pairing people based on brand names? Sounds like a great place for superficial assholes to meet other superficial assholes.”
Baekhyun nods happily. “Isn’t it great? So come on, top five luxury brands. I’ve got Chanel and Gucci but I can’t think of anything else.”
“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo says impatiently. “Kitchenaid? The Disney Store?”
“Not that I’m against the Disney Store because you know that's my shit, but I’m pretty sure rich people don't count that as a luxury brand.” Baekhyun looks over at Junmyeon. “Right?”
“No,” Junmyeon says, giving Baekhyun a disapproving look.
“Hey.” Baekhyun perks up. “You can totally sign up for this.”
“I don't want to date someone based on how much money they have!"
“Spoken like someone who rolls around in money,” Baekhyun grumbles. “I just want someone who will buy me nice things.”
“And suck your dick,” Kyungsoo adds.
“Well, obviously,” Baekhyun says, pouting. “But mostly, the pretty things. My dick is pretty fond of my right hand for now.”
ϟ
dear dr. xoxo,
what is step 3?
- hadsfgyetrtsdf
dear hadsfgyetrtsdf,
you’re a lil punk, aren’t you? idk. ask him out somewhere.
ϟ
“Tao’s having a party on Friday.”
Kyungsoo feels a muscle in his jaw twitch. “That’s nice.”
“You should come,” Sehun says. “I’ll be there.”
“More reason not to go,” Kyungsoo says. “I don’t like parties.”
“Or people,” Baekhyun adds.
“Or people,” Kyungsoo agrees.
“You don’t have to talk to people,” Sehun says, fiddling with the lid of the cup. “Other people. You can talk to me. You should come. It could be fun.” He gives Kyungsoo a smile before he moves to the front to sit next to his friend.
Baekhyun snickers into his textbook.
“What?” Kyungsoo snaps.
“Nothing,” Baekhyun replies, looking gleeful.
ϟ
“Why am I here?” Kyungsoo winces as soon as they step inside Tao’s unnecessarily huge house. He knows Tao lives alone and why does a college student even have a house? Although now he thinks that Baekhyun being friends with him makes a little more sense. Of course the leech is friends with him.
“Because you need to have fun,” Baekhyun says, linking an arm through Kyungsoo’s. “And also because I wasn’t technically invited so I need you here.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Aren’t you friends with Tao?”
“Yes, but our last hook up didn’t end so well,” Baekhyun answers. “Where’s Sehun?”
“Who cares? Why do you want to be here if you aren’t on speaking terms with Tao?”
“Rich people have rich friends.” Baekhyun is the worst human being Kyungsoo knows. “Hey, I’m going to grab a drink. Do you want anything?” He lets go of Kyungsoo’s arm and disappears before Kyungsoo can say anything.
Kyungsoo can’t believe that Baekhyun has abandoned him in the middle of this party, full of people he kind of hates. He considers leaving and letting Baekhyun get his own ride home, but Baekhyun is an awful drunk person and who else is going to cart his drunk ass home after he offends everyone?
“Hey.”
Kyungsoo blinks at the guy in front of him. He looks vaguely familiar. “Hey?” Is he going to be hit on? Where’s the Weird Tall Kid? Didn’t he promise that if Kyungsoo came to this party he wouldn’t have to talk to other people?
“We have economics together,” the guy says.
“Great,” Kyungsoo answers, slipping into his bored face. The sooner this guy realizes that he’s not interested, the sooner he can move on. He’s pretty and he has kind of a nice mouth, but he’s still not interested. Maybe if he found out how much this guy was worth he could pawn him off on Baekhyun.
“I’m Jongdae.”
“That’s nice.”
Jongdae gives him a strange look before he blinks and then laughs. “I’m not hitting on you. I just wanted to thank you,” he says, looking amused.
Kyungsoo stares at him. “For what? We just met.”
“You answered my letter a few months ago,” Jongdae says. “About the boyfriend who didn’t tell his friends about who he was dating?”
Kyungsoo doesn’t remember all his letters because he thinks half of them are stupid, but he remembers this one because it was his first one. “You’re ‘sad n confused,’” he says. “So did you kill him?”
Jongdae laughs. “No. It’s not on the list but I’m pretty it’s one of the things I could do that would lose me my scholarship.”
Kyungsoo smiles a little. “That’s the only reason you’re against murder? Because you don’t want to lose your scholarship?”
“The only reason,” Jongdae says solemnly.
Kyungsoo thinks maybe people aren’t completely horrible.
ϟ
dear dr. xoxo,
my boyfriend and i have been dating for almost three weeks now and everything has been great. our three week anniversary is coming up and i would like to do something special for him. the problem is he insists on paying for everything and he usually makes all the grand gestures. how do i do something special without him beating me to it?
- romanticatheart
dear romanticatheart,
lol
ϟ
Junmyeon catches him just as he’s about to enter his sociology class. “I just read the draft you sent me for the latest column. You can’t laugh at them.”
“Did you read the problem?” Kyungsoo demands. “There was no problem. His or her boyfriend likes doing nice things for them, wow, what a hard life. Baekhyun would kill for that.”
“I would,” Baekhyun says, tapping at his phone. “All the nice things with zero reciprocity needed? That’s perfect. Hey, so what’s your opinion on cuddling? There’s this new app called Cuddlr. Do I really want-”
“You.” Junmyeon pokes him hard in the chest. “Why have I been getting notifications from people who want to meet me on Luxy?”
Baekhyun brightens. “I knew they’d love you,” he says.
“Baekhyun-”
Kyungsoo sees Sehun taking a seat where Kyungsoo and Baekhyun usually sit so he leaves Junmyeon to lecture Baekhyun.
“You weren’t at the party,” Kyungsoo says, dropping down in the seat next to Sehun. “I had to talk to other people.”
Sehun blinks. “You went? You said you weren’t going to go.”
“Baekhyun made me go,” Kyungsoo answers. “So why weren’t you there?”
Sehun seems annoyed. “You said you weren’t going,” he says again.
Kyungsoo stares at him. “Are you whining at me?” He’s a little horrified because now- “Why is your face like that? What are you- are you pouting?”
“I just...I would have gone if I knew you were going to be there,” Sehun says, before crossing his arms and staring to the front of the classroom, still sulking.
“So what? You’re not going to talk to me now?” Kyungsoo asks and he laughs when Sehun doesn’t reply. “You know, you’re the one who didn’t come through.” When Sehun still doesn’t say anything, he huffs and turns away. “Brat.”
ϟ
dear xoxo,
...i accidentally stood up my crush. >:| i’m mad at myself but i think being mad at myself just made him even more annoyed.
- yurthrvdtybhtf
dear yurthrvdtybhtf,
he sounds like a pain. move on. or just try again, whatever.
Baekhyun laughs when he sees what Kyungsoo has written. “Are you serious? Do you actually not get what is going on?”
Kyungsoo looks at him blankly. “What?”
Baekhyun shakes his head. “You’re such a precious little idiot,” he coos, patting Kyungsoo on the shoulder before turning back to his phone.
Kyungsoo ignores him and turns back to the computer, trying to decipher the latest bunch of acronyms. He fails as usual. “If this guy ever gets his shit together and gets with his crush, I should demand money for my services.”
Baekhyun snorts. “You should,” he says pleasantly before he bursts into more laughter.
ϟ
“I’m on the track team,” Sehun says, tapping a pencil against the table.
“You run?” Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow.
“Yes. You should come to a meet sometime.” Sehun looks at him hopefully. “There’s one on Thursday. I’ll be there this time. I have to be. Tao will be there too.”
Baekhyun looks up amused. “Tao runs? He doesn’t think that’s uncouth or something?”
“No, he’ll be watching in the stands.”
Kyungsoo gives him strange look. “People come to watch you run around?” When Sehun nods, he almost laughs. “Why?”
“To cheer us on,” Sehun says. “Come cheer me on and I’ll buy you coffee after the meet.”
Kyungsoo turns away. “Maybe.”
“He’ll be there,” Baekhyun says cheerfully, throwing an around Kyungsoo’s shoulders.
ϟ
dear dr. xoxo
are you single? ;)
- hot4xoxo
dear hot4xoxo,
go away.
dear hot4xoxo,
yes ;)
send photo.
ϟ
“Baekhyun!” Kyungsoo wants to hit him on the head with a copy of their college paper but it’s not thick enough to hurt. “Junmyeon, why would you let him do this?”
Junmyeon shrugs as he ushers them out of the print room. “I don’t know, it made me laugh.”
“I’m going to kill you,” Kyungsoo says, whacking Baekhyun with one of his notebooks instead. “All these weird people are going to send their pictures now!”
“Our college has some very good-looking people,” Baekhyun says. “Maybe someone cute will send you a picture.”
“I hope all your apps crash.”
ϟ
Kyungsoo doesn’t know much about track meets, except that they involve running. He assumed they were all required to run fast.
“Wow, you really sucked out there,” he says when Sehun comes to say hi after a disastrous event. Disastrous for him at least.
Sehun is smiling anyway. “You came.”
“Why are you so off today?” Tao asks. “You usually kill the sprint events.”
“Oh, so you’re usually good.” Kyungsoo gives Sehun a funny look. “Stop sucking then. I didn’t come to watch you fail.”
“I invited you to cheer me on,” Sehun says, grinning.
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Then give me something to cheer about.”
“Okay,” Sehun says cheerfully. “I’ll do better.”
“Unbelievable,” Baekhyun mumbles beside Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo has just sat back down beside Baekhyun when a shadow falls over him. “Oh, hi,” he says when he recognizes the guy from the party Sehun had missed.
“Hi,” Jongdae says smiling. “I’ve never seen you here before.”
Kyungsoo frowns. “What, you mean you come here often? Voluntarily?”
“Yes,” Jongdae laughs. “My friend, Chanyeol, is on the track team.”
“He’s very bad,” Tao speaks up. “Your friend. He trips a lot.”
Jongdae shrugs. “That’s why he needs the support.”
“You’re cute.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes because of course Baekhyun has no tact.
Jongdae grins. “I know,” he says. “You’re cute too.”
Kyungsoo stares as Baekhyun returns the smile. Oh god, there were two of them. Jongdae had seemed normal a second ago.
“Introduce me to your cute friend, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun says, like he isn’t already flirting with Jongdae.
“Baekhyun, this is Jongdae. Jongdae, Baekhyun.”
“Move over,” Baekhyun tells Tao as he pushes him so there’s a space between him and Kyungsoo. “Come sit.” He pats the empty space beside him.
Kyungsoo tries to ignore the two of them and concentrate on Sehun, but he hears Baekhyun ask, “So Jongdae, what are your top five luxury brands?” and he rolls his eyes.
ϟ
dear dr. xoxo,
what do i do when my crush continues to be completely clueless?
- tywrtyeyeu
Kyungsoo groans. “This guy’s crush sounds like a pain in the ass,” he says. “He seems so oblivious. Why is he still trying?”
“Yes,” Baekhyun agrees. “Oblivious people are the worst. What are you going to tell him to do?”
“To cut him loose and move on to someone else and let this loser be lonely,” Kyungsoo mumbles. He grimaces when he hears the beep of an incoming message. “Baekhyun, I swear, if this is another picture of some-” He scowls when he opens the message and is greeted by a picture of a guy with weird crimped hair and too many teeth.
“He’s cute,” Baekhyun says, leaning over.
“I’ve been getting these all day,” Kyungsoo grumbles closing the message. “Go bother someone on one of your dating apps while I reply to weird acronyms guy.”
“Don’t tell him to give up,” Baekhyun says. “He should keep trying.”
dear tywrtyeyeu,
try again.
ϟ
“I like you better after two sugars. You’re nicer. ”
“Great,” Kyungsoo says sarcastically. “Because I want you to like me.”
“See,” Sehun says, pushing the pastry closer to Kyungsoo. “Even that isn’t as bitter as it would usually be.”
“Okay, so I agreed to do homework together and grab coffee,” Kyungsoo says, tapping Sehun’s textbook. “I’m not here for your bad attempts at trying to be charming for some reason. You can practice that with Tao.”
Sehun looks amused but he does go back to his textbook. It’s quiet for a few minutes until he starts talking again. “So...have you been getting a lot of pictures from hot4xoxo?”
Kyungsoo’s face flushes. He really hates Baekhyun. It’s been a week and he’s still getting pictures. “I’ve been getting lots of pictures period,” he says. “I don’t know if any of them have been from hot4xoxo.” He pauses when he realizes what Sehun said. “Wait, you know I write that column?”
Sehun smirks. “Was it supposed to be a secret? You carry the letters around and I’ve seen you reading the emails before class starts.”
“Oh.” Kyungsoo shrugs because Sehun’s right. He doesn’t go around telling people he’s dr. xoxo but he’s not exactly hiding it either. Jongdae had figured it out too. “Do you always read it?” he asks curiously.
“Yes,” Sehun answers. “I like your answers. They’re better than the last guy. He talked about moons being in retrograde and how it upsets the balance for lovers. It was weird.”
Kyungsoo is amused at this. “You’ve been reading the column for awhile,” he says and he can’t help smiling when Sehun shrugs. “So what do you think about the weird acronyms guy?”
Sehun stares at him. “Weird acronyms guy?”
“You know. The guy with the clueless crush who signs off all his letters with acronyms.”
“I don’t think they’re acronyms,” Sehun says slowly. “They might just be random key smashing.”
Kyungsoo frowns. That probably makes more sense. “I guess.” He looks up from his homework. “So you think he’s going to get together with whoever he likes?”
Sehun stares at him for a long moment before he laughs. “I don’t know. His crush sounds painfully unaware.”
ϟ
dear dr. xoxo,
my crush seems like he MIGHT be interested? he’s pretty cranky, so i can’t tell if he’s just being himself or if i’m completely misreading it and he just doesn’t like me? i’m PINING.
- rwertnbyvcefsdfdnby
“You see,” Baekhyun says loudly to Junmyeon. “This is what happens when you try to meet people the old fashioned way. You get stupidly cluelesss losers.”
Junmyeon glances at Kyungsoo before he turns to Baekhyun. “Not everyone is clueless. Plus you met Jongdae the old fashioned way and you guys seem happy.”
“We are,” Baekhyun agrees cheerfully.
“How is that going?” Kyungsoo asks, looking up at him. “I’m surprised you’re still dating him considering he’s not rich. He can’t buy you pretty things.”
Baekhyun shrugs. “I don’t need him to buy me pretty things,” he says. “He’s my pretty thing.”
“That’s gross, Baekhyun.”
“So gross,” Baekhyun says happily. “But I don’t care.”
Junmyeon frowns when his phone goes off. “Can you please get this Tao guy to stop messaging me on Luxy?”
“But he’s perfect for you,” Baekhyun says, frowning. “All of your luxury brands match! I thought you’d be happy that someone else has the same tacky taste as you.”
Junmyeon glares at him before he turns back to the computer.
“So…” Baekhyun puts away his phone and pulls Kyungsoo’s chair so they’re facing each other. “Do you like Sehun?”
Kyungsoo blinks. “What? Like like him?”
Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “Yes. You’ve been spending time together. And you buy him coffee. Which you have never done in the three years we’ve been friends.”
“He’s okay,” Kyungsoo mumbles, pulling away from Baekhyun. “He’s not so bad once you get to know him.”
“Okay.” Baekhyun smiles and looks satisfied. “Okay, that’s good.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Was that heart to heart necessary? I still don’t know what to tell weird acronyms guy.”
“For fuck’s sake, Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun throws his hands up. “Just tell him to kiss him. This is getting ridiculous.”
Kyungsoo agrees.
ϟ
“Okay.” Sehun is breathless when he meets Kyungsoo outside the changing room after one of his practices for the track team. “Before I do this, I just want to tell you that you are the worst, most stupidest, most unaware person I have ever met in my life.”
Kyungsoo blinks at all this uncalled slander. “What-”
“I mean, I literally did everything you told me to do,” Sehun continues. “And I’m pretty sure Baekhyun knew the whole time because...because most people would have gotten it.”
Kyungsoo frowns and he’s about to say something but Sehun cuts him off when he closes the distance between them and presses their lips together.
Sehun is giving him a questioning look when he pulls away. “Kyungsoo?”
It takes Kyungsoo a moment. First he thinks, Oh. Followed by, Fuck. And then, I’m the pain in the ass guy. Everything just clicks then and he can’t believe how stupid he’s been this whole time.
“You’re the weird acronyms guy,” he says weakly.
Sehun smiles. “I’m the weird key smashing guy,” he corrects.
“Ugh.” Kyungsoo groans and covers his face. “This is so embarrassing.”
“It’s okay,” Sehun laughs, pulling his hands away. “But I still don’t know how you feel.”
“Of course I like you,” Kyungsoo snaps, freeing a hand to hit Sehun on the shoulder. “You think I’d be out here watching you run if I didn’t like you?”
Sehun grins wide. “Maybe then you can tell hot4xoxo to back off then,” he says, before he leans in to kiss Kyungsoo again.
sehun/kyungsoo
pg-13
Kyungsoo has problems.
1. He’s currently the dating advice columnist for the college newspaper, even though he really hates people and he hates their feelings even more.
2. That weird kid in his sociology class who keeps trying to talk to him. The only reason he keeps Baekhyun around is so that he can keep people away from him.
(Baekhyun is another problem- a minor one, but still a problem. His inability to keep Kyungsoo from being roped into shit like writing for a dating advice column is something that Kyungsoo will never forgive.)
Kyungsoo’s more concerned about #1 though, because he’s pretty good at ignoring people’s existence and that’s what he’s doing with that freakishly tall kid in his class- ignoring that he exists. Kyungsoo is okay with weird because he’s friends with Baekhyun, but Weird Tall Kid is just…weird. He isn’t just Weird Tall Kid, he's Weird Tall Kid.
Weird Tall Kid is always sniffing his friend’s coffee and once he’s done sniffing the coffee, he sniffs his friend. Who goes around sniffing people? Once he bumped into Kyungsoo and faceplanted into his head, and Kyungsoo swears he sniffed him.
Back to #1 though.
It was supposed to be a few weeks. A month at most, is what Junmyeon had promised when he had begged Kyungsoo to temporarily fill in for the college paper’s dating advice column.
Honestly. What the fuck? Did Junmyeon not have any other friends? Why would he possibly think that:
a. Kyungsoo would want to do this? Ever?
b. Kyungsoo was capable of giving people advice on love?
“Wouldn’t you rather have someone with feelings run the column?” Baekhyun had piped up.
Kyungsoo still isn’t sure he had managed to get roped into this, even with Baekhyun arguing his case, but Junmyeon was a filthy liar. It’s been six months and Kyungsoo is still in charge of the What is Love column, pretending he cares about people and their love problems.
Kyungsoo is surprised Junmyeon has put up with him for six months- it’s not like Kyungsoo hadn’t tried his hardest to get fired since Day One.
dear dr. xoxo,
my bf & i have been dating for 3 months now but he still hasn’t told his friends abt us. :( he’s very sweet when we’re 2gthr but he’s cold when we’re around other ppl. what do i do?
- sad n confused
dear sad n confused,
kill him.
“Uhh, Kyungsoo…” Junmyeon is frowning at the paper he’s holding. “You can’t…” He looks like he’s trying to choose his words carefully. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to…encourage murder.”
Kyungsoo stares at him. “But her boyfriend’s an idiot. She should get rid of him. Or he should get rid of him.”
Junmyeon looks pained. “Try to be more sympathetic.”
Baekhyun snorts from where he’s sitting beside Kyungsoo, scrolling through pictures on one of the dating apps he’s always on. “That’s cute, you think Kyungsoo does sympathy.”
ϟ
dear dr. xoxo,
my ex-gf and i split up a month ago. i started seeing someone else and now my ex is showing signs that she’s interested again. what should i do?
- 2manywomen
God, Kyungsoo fucking hates people.
“There are no new dating apps to try out,” Baekhyun complains beside him, sighing at his phone.
“Try going back to an old one. Maybe there are new losers looking to date a twink,” Kyungsoo says as he types out ‘dear 2manywomen’ and tries not to follow it with ‘you sound like a tool and you don’t deserve any women.’
Baekhyun hums as he scrolls through his apps. “Tinder...too straight. Grindr...too gay.” He sighs again. “Where are all the rich people?”
Kyungsoo snorts. “You really are an awful human being.”
“What? I’m honest.”
“I can’t believe you get so many dates even though you openly say you’re only interested in people who are rich,” Kyungsoo says. He types out his answer and emails it to Junmyeon.
“Kyungsoo.” Junmyeon looks up in exasperation. “‘You are an asshole’ is not an appropriate reply. You don’t even know this person.”
“I don’t need to know him,” Kyungsoo answers. “If he's signing his name as 2manywomen, he's an asshole and doesn’t deserve any help.”
Junmyeon looks like he’s trying not to roll his eyes. “I told you, you don’t have to answer all of these. We can’t publish all of them, people know that. Choose another letter.”
“Print that one,” Kyungsoo says and stares down Junmyeon. “I’m pretty sure 2manywomen hasn’t been called out on his shit before and he should.”
Baekhyun finally looks up from his phone. “How has this paper not been sued yet?”
“I hope we do get sued,” Kyungsoo says, ignoring Junmyeon’s choked sounds. “Then I can find out who this tool is.”
“We can’t be sued,” Junmyeon says, “we’d just be...cancelled.”
“Wouldn’t that be a shame,” Kyungsoo deadpans.
ϟ
dear dr. xoxo,
there’s a cute boy in my class, but i don’t think he even knows my name. :’(
- oaishfaiofhadsf
dear oaishfaiofhadsf,
tell him your name.
ϟ
Kyungsoo is reading a letter from someone called ‘miss picky’ in class when someone sits down beside him. He looks up ready to talk about the letter when he realizes it’s not Baekhyun but Weird Tall Kid.
“I’m Sehun,” Weird Tall Kid says, as if Kyungsoo had asked him, and then to Kyungsoo’s horror, he reaches out for Kyungsoo’s cup. He knows what he’s going to do and he scowls when Weird Tall Kid- Sehun- lifts up the lid and sniffs it.
Kyungsoo is so angry that he can’t think of any words to say to this invasion of...he doesn’t know, but people aren’t allowed to go sniffing other people’s coffees. It’s rude.
Sehun wrinkles his nose and his lips curl down in disapproval. Kyungsoo has never met anyone who looks like they’ve perfected the art of the frown, but he’s certain Sehun is pretty close. “Black coffee. That’s gross.”
“I wasn’t aware that I asked for your opinion,” Kyungsoo says, glaring as Sehun sets down his coffee cup.
“I just wanted to know what kind of coffee you drink.”
“Why? So you can mooch off me like you usually mooch off your friend?” It’s nine in the morning and Kyungsoo has no coffee now because he’s not going to drink something Weird Tall Kid has sniffed. Who knows where else that stupid nose has been? (Okay, Kyungsoo supposes it’s actually a nicely-structured nose...if noses were your thing.)
“I don’t mooch,” Sehun says. “Friends share.”
Kyungsoo gives him an icy look. “When did we become friends?”
ϟ
dear dr. xoxo,
i recently found out that my brother has been going out with my ex. isn’t there a rule where exes are off-limits?
- betrayed
dear betrayed,
no. you were broken up anyway. if your brother’s happy, don’t be a jerk.
“You’re turning soft,” Baekhyun says, reading Kyungsoo’s column over his shoulder- ugh, when did he start thinking of this as his column? “That’s actually good advice.”
“Maybe if you stopped calling them names….” Junmyeon sends him a hopeful look and Kyungsoo just ignores him.
“Why weren’t you in class today?” Kyungsoo asks. “That weird kid sat beside me and introduced himself.”
Baekhyun raises an eyebrow. “Sehun?”
Kyungsoo turns away from his computer. “You knew his name?”
Baekhyun shrugs. “Sure. I know his cute friend, Tao. Anyway I met up with some guy from Grindr. That’s why I wasn’t in class.”
“I thought Grindr was too gay,” Junmyeon says.
“Yeah, well, so am I,” Baekhyun says, flashing his teeth at him. “But anyway he told me about this new dating app called Luxy.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Sounds douche’y,” he says, turning back to his computer and opening the next email.
Baekhyun is beaming at his phone. “No, it sounds great, listen. Luxy is the #1 luxury millionaire dating app for wealthy men and women and beautiful people to meet, chat and date with other like-minded local singles in their area.”
“But you’re not wealthy.”
“That’s not the point,” Baekhyun says. “This is an app that has my future husband. Or sugar daddy, you know, whatever.” He continues reading. “This is perfect. ‘So that its users will only mingle with rich people.’ Yes! I’m getting butterflies. ‘Just like themselves.’” Baekhyun pauses. “...oh.”
“Well, that crashed and burned quickly.” Kyungsoo frowns at his computer. “I think this is the same guy who wrote to me two days ago.”
“This is so unfair!” Baekhyun complains. “How am I going to trick some rich idiot into marrying me if he has an app that tells him I’m poor?” He frowns at this phone. “It won’t even let me download the app. Can the app already tell I’m poor?”
“Why do you need all these apps?” Junmyeon asks. “What’s wrong with meeting people the old fashioned way?”
“Uh, okay, thanks for that, grandpa,” Baekhyun says, pouting at his phone. “But meeting people the old fashioned way apparently ends in writing in to some lame dating column.”
“I need better friends,” Kyungsoo mumbles under his breath.
ϟ
dear dr. xoxo,
i told him my name. now what?
- asddfybvgcfxesd
dear asddfybvgcfxesd,
do you need a step by step guide? talk to him.
ϟ
“Hi.”
Kyungsoo snatches up his coffee cup as soon as he hears Sehun’s voice. Should he be bothered that he can recognize Sehun’s voice without seeing him?”
“I have my own,” Sehun says, taking the seat next to him.
Baekhyun looks up from his phone. He gives Sehun a curious look but he doesn’t say anything. Like ask what he’s doing here. Kyungsoo scowls. Baekhyun is useless.
“What do you want?”
“Just to talk,” Sehun says, pulling out his textbook. Ugh. Was he going to sit here for the entire class?
Baekhyun’s eyebrows rise and Kyungsoo assumes someone either really hot or really disturbing has messaged him on one of his several dating apps
“About what?”
Sehun pauses as if he hasn’t thought this far ahead. “I like history,” he finally says. “What’s your favourite class?”
Baekhyun lets out a snort but he’s staring fixedly at his phone.
“Not this one,” Kyungsoo says pointedly.
Sehun gives him a blank look. “I like coffee,” he says. “Except for that stuff you drink. How can you drink that?”
Kyungsoo frowns. Why was he being weirder than usual? “I don’t really like it. It wakes me up,” he says. “My first coffee’s black, but I usually have it with two sugars later.”
“Oh.” Sehun looks pleased. “Me too! Two sugars.” After a beat, he adds, “And milk.”
“You’re both weak,” Baekhyun says, but Kyungsoo is distracted because Sehun is smiling and it’s not…unflattering.
ϟ
“Kyungsoo, what are your top five luxury brands?”
Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. “My what?”
“This Luxy app. I found a hack so I could download it.” Baekhyun waves his phone at him. “I have to name my top five luxury brands on my profile.”
“Pairing people based on brand names? Sounds like a great place for superficial assholes to meet other superficial assholes.”
Baekhyun nods happily. “Isn’t it great? So come on, top five luxury brands. I’ve got Chanel and Gucci but I can’t think of anything else.”
“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo says impatiently. “Kitchenaid? The Disney Store?”
“Not that I’m against the Disney Store because you know that's my shit, but I’m pretty sure rich people don't count that as a luxury brand.” Baekhyun looks over at Junmyeon. “Right?”
“No,” Junmyeon says, giving Baekhyun a disapproving look.
“Hey.” Baekhyun perks up. “You can totally sign up for this.”
“I don't want to date someone based on how much money they have!"
“Spoken like someone who rolls around in money,” Baekhyun grumbles. “I just want someone who will buy me nice things.”
“And suck your dick,” Kyungsoo adds.
“Well, obviously,” Baekhyun says, pouting. “But mostly, the pretty things. My dick is pretty fond of my right hand for now.”
ϟ
dear dr. xoxo,
what is step 3?
- hadsfgyetrtsdf
dear hadsfgyetrtsdf,
you’re a lil punk, aren’t you? idk. ask him out somewhere.
ϟ
“Tao’s having a party on Friday.”
Kyungsoo feels a muscle in his jaw twitch. “That’s nice.”
“You should come,” Sehun says. “I’ll be there.”
“More reason not to go,” Kyungsoo says. “I don’t like parties.”
“Or people,” Baekhyun adds.
“Or people,” Kyungsoo agrees.
“You don’t have to talk to people,” Sehun says, fiddling with the lid of the cup. “Other people. You can talk to me. You should come. It could be fun.” He gives Kyungsoo a smile before he moves to the front to sit next to his friend.
Baekhyun snickers into his textbook.
“What?” Kyungsoo snaps.
“Nothing,” Baekhyun replies, looking gleeful.
ϟ
“Why am I here?” Kyungsoo winces as soon as they step inside Tao’s unnecessarily huge house. He knows Tao lives alone and why does a college student even have a house? Although now he thinks that Baekhyun being friends with him makes a little more sense. Of course the leech is friends with him.
“Because you need to have fun,” Baekhyun says, linking an arm through Kyungsoo’s. “And also because I wasn’t technically invited so I need you here.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Aren’t you friends with Tao?”
“Yes, but our last hook up didn’t end so well,” Baekhyun answers. “Where’s Sehun?”
“Who cares? Why do you want to be here if you aren’t on speaking terms with Tao?”
“Rich people have rich friends.” Baekhyun is the worst human being Kyungsoo knows. “Hey, I’m going to grab a drink. Do you want anything?” He lets go of Kyungsoo’s arm and disappears before Kyungsoo can say anything.
Kyungsoo can’t believe that Baekhyun has abandoned him in the middle of this party, full of people he kind of hates. He considers leaving and letting Baekhyun get his own ride home, but Baekhyun is an awful drunk person and who else is going to cart his drunk ass home after he offends everyone?
“Hey.”
Kyungsoo blinks at the guy in front of him. He looks vaguely familiar. “Hey?” Is he going to be hit on? Where’s the Weird Tall Kid? Didn’t he promise that if Kyungsoo came to this party he wouldn’t have to talk to other people?
“We have economics together,” the guy says.
“Great,” Kyungsoo answers, slipping into his bored face. The sooner this guy realizes that he’s not interested, the sooner he can move on. He’s pretty and he has kind of a nice mouth, but he’s still not interested. Maybe if he found out how much this guy was worth he could pawn him off on Baekhyun.
“I’m Jongdae.”
“That’s nice.”
Jongdae gives him a strange look before he blinks and then laughs. “I’m not hitting on you. I just wanted to thank you,” he says, looking amused.
Kyungsoo stares at him. “For what? We just met.”
“You answered my letter a few months ago,” Jongdae says. “About the boyfriend who didn’t tell his friends about who he was dating?”
Kyungsoo doesn’t remember all his letters because he thinks half of them are stupid, but he remembers this one because it was his first one. “You’re ‘sad n confused,’” he says. “So did you kill him?”
Jongdae laughs. “No. It’s not on the list but I’m pretty it’s one of the things I could do that would lose me my scholarship.”
Kyungsoo smiles a little. “That’s the only reason you’re against murder? Because you don’t want to lose your scholarship?”
“The only reason,” Jongdae says solemnly.
Kyungsoo thinks maybe people aren’t completely horrible.
ϟ
dear dr. xoxo,
my boyfriend and i have been dating for almost three weeks now and everything has been great. our three week anniversary is coming up and i would like to do something special for him. the problem is he insists on paying for everything and he usually makes all the grand gestures. how do i do something special without him beating me to it?
- romanticatheart
dear romanticatheart,
lol
ϟ
Junmyeon catches him just as he’s about to enter his sociology class. “I just read the draft you sent me for the latest column. You can’t laugh at them.”
“Did you read the problem?” Kyungsoo demands. “There was no problem. His or her boyfriend likes doing nice things for them, wow, what a hard life. Baekhyun would kill for that.”
“I would,” Baekhyun says, tapping at his phone. “All the nice things with zero reciprocity needed? That’s perfect. Hey, so what’s your opinion on cuddling? There’s this new app called Cuddlr. Do I really want-”
“You.” Junmyeon pokes him hard in the chest. “Why have I been getting notifications from people who want to meet me on Luxy?”
Baekhyun brightens. “I knew they’d love you,” he says.
“Baekhyun-”
Kyungsoo sees Sehun taking a seat where Kyungsoo and Baekhyun usually sit so he leaves Junmyeon to lecture Baekhyun.
“You weren’t at the party,” Kyungsoo says, dropping down in the seat next to Sehun. “I had to talk to other people.”
Sehun blinks. “You went? You said you weren’t going to go.”
“Baekhyun made me go,” Kyungsoo answers. “So why weren’t you there?”
Sehun seems annoyed. “You said you weren’t going,” he says again.
Kyungsoo stares at him. “Are you whining at me?” He’s a little horrified because now- “Why is your face like that? What are you- are you pouting?”
“I just...I would have gone if I knew you were going to be there,” Sehun says, before crossing his arms and staring to the front of the classroom, still sulking.
“So what? You’re not going to talk to me now?” Kyungsoo asks and he laughs when Sehun doesn’t reply. “You know, you’re the one who didn’t come through.” When Sehun still doesn’t say anything, he huffs and turns away. “Brat.”
ϟ
dear xoxo,
...i accidentally stood up my crush. >:| i’m mad at myself but i think being mad at myself just made him even more annoyed.
- yurthrvdtybhtf
dear yurthrvdtybhtf,
he sounds like a pain. move on. or just try again, whatever.
Baekhyun laughs when he sees what Kyungsoo has written. “Are you serious? Do you actually not get what is going on?”
Kyungsoo looks at him blankly. “What?”
Baekhyun shakes his head. “You’re such a precious little idiot,” he coos, patting Kyungsoo on the shoulder before turning back to his phone.
Kyungsoo ignores him and turns back to the computer, trying to decipher the latest bunch of acronyms. He fails as usual. “If this guy ever gets his shit together and gets with his crush, I should demand money for my services.”
Baekhyun snorts. “You should,” he says pleasantly before he bursts into more laughter.
ϟ
“I’m on the track team,” Sehun says, tapping a pencil against the table.
“You run?” Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow.
“Yes. You should come to a meet sometime.” Sehun looks at him hopefully. “There’s one on Thursday. I’ll be there this time. I have to be. Tao will be there too.”
Baekhyun looks up amused. “Tao runs? He doesn’t think that’s uncouth or something?”
“No, he’ll be watching in the stands.”
Kyungsoo gives him strange look. “People come to watch you run around?” When Sehun nods, he almost laughs. “Why?”
“To cheer us on,” Sehun says. “Come cheer me on and I’ll buy you coffee after the meet.”
Kyungsoo turns away. “Maybe.”
“He’ll be there,” Baekhyun says cheerfully, throwing an around Kyungsoo’s shoulders.
ϟ
dear dr. xoxo
are you single? ;)
- hot4xoxo
dear hot4xoxo,
go away.
dear hot4xoxo,
yes ;)
send photo.
ϟ
“Baekhyun!” Kyungsoo wants to hit him on the head with a copy of their college paper but it’s not thick enough to hurt. “Junmyeon, why would you let him do this?”
Junmyeon shrugs as he ushers them out of the print room. “I don’t know, it made me laugh.”
“I’m going to kill you,” Kyungsoo says, whacking Baekhyun with one of his notebooks instead. “All these weird people are going to send their pictures now!”
“Our college has some very good-looking people,” Baekhyun says. “Maybe someone cute will send you a picture.”
“I hope all your apps crash.”
ϟ
Kyungsoo doesn’t know much about track meets, except that they involve running. He assumed they were all required to run fast.
“Wow, you really sucked out there,” he says when Sehun comes to say hi after a disastrous event. Disastrous for him at least.
Sehun is smiling anyway. “You came.”
“Why are you so off today?” Tao asks. “You usually kill the sprint events.”
“Oh, so you’re usually good.” Kyungsoo gives Sehun a funny look. “Stop sucking then. I didn’t come to watch you fail.”
“I invited you to cheer me on,” Sehun says, grinning.
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Then give me something to cheer about.”
“Okay,” Sehun says cheerfully. “I’ll do better.”
“Unbelievable,” Baekhyun mumbles beside Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo has just sat back down beside Baekhyun when a shadow falls over him. “Oh, hi,” he says when he recognizes the guy from the party Sehun had missed.
“Hi,” Jongdae says smiling. “I’ve never seen you here before.”
Kyungsoo frowns. “What, you mean you come here often? Voluntarily?”
“Yes,” Jongdae laughs. “My friend, Chanyeol, is on the track team.”
“He’s very bad,” Tao speaks up. “Your friend. He trips a lot.”
Jongdae shrugs. “That’s why he needs the support.”
“You’re cute.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes because of course Baekhyun has no tact.
Jongdae grins. “I know,” he says. “You’re cute too.”
Kyungsoo stares as Baekhyun returns the smile. Oh god, there were two of them. Jongdae had seemed normal a second ago.
“Introduce me to your cute friend, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun says, like he isn’t already flirting with Jongdae.
“Baekhyun, this is Jongdae. Jongdae, Baekhyun.”
“Move over,” Baekhyun tells Tao as he pushes him so there’s a space between him and Kyungsoo. “Come sit.” He pats the empty space beside him.
Kyungsoo tries to ignore the two of them and concentrate on Sehun, but he hears Baekhyun ask, “So Jongdae, what are your top five luxury brands?” and he rolls his eyes.
ϟ
dear dr. xoxo,
what do i do when my crush continues to be completely clueless?
- tywrtyeyeu
Kyungsoo groans. “This guy’s crush sounds like a pain in the ass,” he says. “He seems so oblivious. Why is he still trying?”
“Yes,” Baekhyun agrees. “Oblivious people are the worst. What are you going to tell him to do?”
“To cut him loose and move on to someone else and let this loser be lonely,” Kyungsoo mumbles. He grimaces when he hears the beep of an incoming message. “Baekhyun, I swear, if this is another picture of some-” He scowls when he opens the message and is greeted by a picture of a guy with weird crimped hair and too many teeth.
“He’s cute,” Baekhyun says, leaning over.
“I’ve been getting these all day,” Kyungsoo grumbles closing the message. “Go bother someone on one of your dating apps while I reply to weird acronyms guy.”
“Don’t tell him to give up,” Baekhyun says. “He should keep trying.”
dear tywrtyeyeu,
try again.
ϟ
“I like you better after two sugars. You’re nicer. ”
“Great,” Kyungsoo says sarcastically. “Because I want you to like me.”
“See,” Sehun says, pushing the pastry closer to Kyungsoo. “Even that isn’t as bitter as it would usually be.”
“Okay, so I agreed to do homework together and grab coffee,” Kyungsoo says, tapping Sehun’s textbook. “I’m not here for your bad attempts at trying to be charming for some reason. You can practice that with Tao.”
Sehun looks amused but he does go back to his textbook. It’s quiet for a few minutes until he starts talking again. “So...have you been getting a lot of pictures from hot4xoxo?”
Kyungsoo’s face flushes. He really hates Baekhyun. It’s been a week and he’s still getting pictures. “I’ve been getting lots of pictures period,” he says. “I don’t know if any of them have been from hot4xoxo.” He pauses when he realizes what Sehun said. “Wait, you know I write that column?”
Sehun smirks. “Was it supposed to be a secret? You carry the letters around and I’ve seen you reading the emails before class starts.”
“Oh.” Kyungsoo shrugs because Sehun’s right. He doesn’t go around telling people he’s dr. xoxo but he’s not exactly hiding it either. Jongdae had figured it out too. “Do you always read it?” he asks curiously.
“Yes,” Sehun answers. “I like your answers. They’re better than the last guy. He talked about moons being in retrograde and how it upsets the balance for lovers. It was weird.”
Kyungsoo is amused at this. “You’ve been reading the column for awhile,” he says and he can’t help smiling when Sehun shrugs. “So what do you think about the weird acronyms guy?”
Sehun stares at him. “Weird acronyms guy?”
“You know. The guy with the clueless crush who signs off all his letters with acronyms.”
“I don’t think they’re acronyms,” Sehun says slowly. “They might just be random key smashing.”
Kyungsoo frowns. That probably makes more sense. “I guess.” He looks up from his homework. “So you think he’s going to get together with whoever he likes?”
Sehun stares at him for a long moment before he laughs. “I don’t know. His crush sounds painfully unaware.”
ϟ
dear dr. xoxo,
my crush seems like he MIGHT be interested? he’s pretty cranky, so i can’t tell if he’s just being himself or if i’m completely misreading it and he just doesn’t like me? i’m PINING.
- rwertnbyvcefsdfdnby
“You see,” Baekhyun says loudly to Junmyeon. “This is what happens when you try to meet people the old fashioned way. You get stupidly cluelesss losers.”
Junmyeon glances at Kyungsoo before he turns to Baekhyun. “Not everyone is clueless. Plus you met Jongdae the old fashioned way and you guys seem happy.”
“We are,” Baekhyun agrees cheerfully.
“How is that going?” Kyungsoo asks, looking up at him. “I’m surprised you’re still dating him considering he’s not rich. He can’t buy you pretty things.”
Baekhyun shrugs. “I don’t need him to buy me pretty things,” he says. “He’s my pretty thing.”
“That’s gross, Baekhyun.”
“So gross,” Baekhyun says happily. “But I don’t care.”
Junmyeon frowns when his phone goes off. “Can you please get this Tao guy to stop messaging me on Luxy?”
“But he’s perfect for you,” Baekhyun says, frowning. “All of your luxury brands match! I thought you’d be happy that someone else has the same tacky taste as you.”
Junmyeon glares at him before he turns back to the computer.
“So…” Baekhyun puts away his phone and pulls Kyungsoo’s chair so they’re facing each other. “Do you like Sehun?”
Kyungsoo blinks. “What? Like like him?”
Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “Yes. You’ve been spending time together. And you buy him coffee. Which you have never done in the three years we’ve been friends.”
“He’s okay,” Kyungsoo mumbles, pulling away from Baekhyun. “He’s not so bad once you get to know him.”
“Okay.” Baekhyun smiles and looks satisfied. “Okay, that’s good.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Was that heart to heart necessary? I still don’t know what to tell weird acronyms guy.”
“For fuck’s sake, Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun throws his hands up. “Just tell him to kiss him. This is getting ridiculous.”
Kyungsoo agrees.
ϟ
“Okay.” Sehun is breathless when he meets Kyungsoo outside the changing room after one of his practices for the track team. “Before I do this, I just want to tell you that you are the worst, most stupidest, most unaware person I have ever met in my life.”
Kyungsoo blinks at all this uncalled slander. “What-”
“I mean, I literally did everything you told me to do,” Sehun continues. “And I’m pretty sure Baekhyun knew the whole time because...because most people would have gotten it.”
Kyungsoo frowns and he’s about to say something but Sehun cuts him off when he closes the distance between them and presses their lips together.
Sehun is giving him a questioning look when he pulls away. “Kyungsoo?”
It takes Kyungsoo a moment. First he thinks, Oh. Followed by, Fuck. And then, I’m the pain in the ass guy. Everything just clicks then and he can’t believe how stupid he’s been this whole time.
“You’re the weird acronyms guy,” he says weakly.
Sehun smiles. “I’m the weird key smashing guy,” he corrects.
“Ugh.” Kyungsoo groans and covers his face. “This is so embarrassing.”
“It’s okay,” Sehun laughs, pulling his hands away. “But I still don’t know how you feel.”
“Of course I like you,” Kyungsoo snaps, freeing a hand to hit Sehun on the shoulder. “You think I’d be out here watching you run if I didn’t like you?”
Sehun grins wide. “Maybe then you can tell hot4xoxo to back off then,” he says, before he leans in to kiss Kyungsoo again.