If you were none of these (17/?)
anonymous
May 29 2011, 07:07:28 UTC
give up. (4/the power remix)
In the morning, her big brother wakes up and comes downstairs and makes breakfast for her. It’s Sunday, and normally Dad would be home, but today Souji says Dad is investigating something and won’t be back for a while. He’s in a good mood. They’re having rice and pickled radishes and sausage patties for breakfast. Nanako thinks about pointing out that the sausage patties aren’t healthy and that they should be eating fish instead, but her big brother doesn’t look tired or upset today, and he wasn’t throwing up into the toilet again, so she eats her breakfast without complaints. The food is good as usual. She wishes Souji would make more vegetables.
After breakfast, her big brother goes to his room to do some homework. Nanako does the laundry. She knocks on Souji’s door around noon, and asks for his clothes. He tells her that he can wash his own clothes.
“No, you shouldn’t,” she says. “I should do it.”
Souji opens the door, and smiles down at her. “It’s all right, Nanako,” he says. “I really, really want to do my own laundry.”
“What are you hiding?” she says.
Souji’s smile doesn’t falter. “I’m not hiding anything, Nanako,” he says, and closes the door.
Nanako stomps her foot and says, “If you loved me, you’d let me do your laundry!”
Souji opens the door. He looks concerned, which is good, because she’s worried about him, too. Then he says, “All I have are socks and underwear to wash.”
“I can do that,” she says.
“No,” he says. “I’ll do it myself.”
“You’re going to waste water,” she says.
“It’s my underwear,” he says, and his cheeks are a little pink. He shuts the door, muttering, “It’ll be embarrassing.”
“You’re the embarrassing one!” she says to the door, and this time she hears a laugh on the other side of the door.
Her big brother can be mean sometimes. If he loved her, he would let her in. Nanako stares at the door. She knows she’s being a kid, but she wants to cry for a long time, anyway.
*
Dad calls while Nanako is thinking about eating lunch. Dad says all the usual things: that he’s sorry that it’s Sunday and he’s working, that he wants to be home, that he hopes she’s being safe. Then his voice gets all funny.
“Is Souji home?” he says.
“Yeah,” Nanako says. “Is he in trouble?”
“No, Nanako,” Dad says, and he’s lying to her, like all big people have been lying to her. “I just want to ask him some questions, that’s all.”
“What did he do?” Nanako says.
“I can’t tell you that,” Dad says, in the mortified, confused way that he has when he’s afraid to tell her something. “Why don’t you keep your big brother company? Make sure he stays in the house. Will you do that for me, Nanako?”
Nanako looks up the stairs, where she knows Souji is, and then at the phone receiver.
Just some questions, Dad says. Just some questions.
“When will you be back home?” she says.
“Soon,” he says. “I promise.”
“You promised,” she says, and her voice wavers. And she knows that he’s promised because he loves her, even if he can’t keep it. Not like her brother, who won’t promise things even if he’ll do things. Not like her brother, who’s in trouble and won’t tell her why. “I love you, Daddy.”
“Of course,” Dad says, and he sounds sad. “I love you, too.”
*
Around two o’clock, Souji steps out of his room all dressed up. His clothes don’t fit him that well anymore. He looks shabby.
“Are you going?” Nanako says.
“There’s something I need to take care of,” he says.
“But I’m not done with the laundry yet,” she says.
“Are you still going on about that?” Souji says, and he sounds so annoyed with her that she shrinks away because she’s sure that she’s done something wrong. But then she shakes her head. She’s not the one who’s done anything wrong, she tells herself. It’s Souji who’s being thickheaded about this, who won’t listen to reason or to her or to anyone.
“Why won’t you let me do it?” she says.
“I told you already,” Souji says. “There isn’t anything to wash.”
If you were none of these (18/?)
anonymous
May 29 2011, 07:08:23 UTC
Nanako’s so mad at him that she thinks she could cry. He’s being stupid. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. She’s supposed to ask for his dirty clothes and he’s supposed to give them to her and then they go in the wash and then she’ll hang them out to dry.
“I’m going to your room,” she says. Souji’s face hardens, but she’s determined to do this. She goes up the stairs, and Souji follows her, his footsteps heavy behind her.
“Don’t go in there, Nanako,” he says, and she almost doesn’t, because it sounds like a threat. But there’s no reason for him to hide things from her. She runs up the last few steps and flings the door open before Souji can reach her.
She planned to go straight for his hamper, but can’t move from the doorway. His room is dark with the curtains drawn. The TV is on. There’s a camera on his desk. His futon has been left out. It looks like he’s slashed it apart in his sleep. His walls have scratches in them, as though he’s been clawing them. Souji grabs her by the back of the neck, and she screams, because she’s afraid of the person who lives in here-and then Souji pulls her out of his bedroom.
“Why did you do that, Nanako?” he says.
“I wish I hadn’t,” she says. “I wish I never went in there.”
“I know,” Souji says.
“I wish you never came here!” she says, and runs into her room and shuts the door. She knows that she’s supposed to keep Souji in the house, but she doesn’t care anymore. She doesn’ care about any of it. Souji knocks on her door.
“Nanako,” he says.
She doesn’t answer. She goes to the corner of her room and curls up there. He enters, because she didn’t lock the door when she came in.
“I’m sorry,” she says.
“It’s okay,” he says. “Hey, I’m going to make something for you. What do you want?”
“I don’t want anything,” she says.
“Cream puffs,” he says. “Do you like those?”
“No.”
“Cookies, then,” he says.
She doesn’t say anything. She hears Dad pulling into the driveway. Dad is going to ask questions and Souji is going to answer them and it’ll be okay again. Souji won’t be in trouble and he won’t be weird and everything will go away.
Souji’s phone rings. He answers it and steps away from Nanako and onto the stairwell. Nanako hears the front door open. Souji puts his phone in his pocket. He looks, in a single panicked motion, to his room. He ducks back in there. Nanako watches from her room. She sees something strange: Souji takes his notebooks and his camera and makes them disappear inside the TV. After Souji leaves, Nanako runs up to the TV in his room and puts her palm on the glass.
*
Chie isn’t talking to Yukiko. Chie doesn’t know if she ever wants to talk to Yukiko again, although she knows that she’s going to have to. Yosuke’s taken Naoto into the TV-oh god, they’re really doing this, she feels like throwing up in a paper bag-because he thinks the police are going to jump his ass if he goes anywhere near the Dojima’s house. Chie thinks he has a point. She and Yukiko, they’re-they’re Chie and Yukiko, familiar faces who definitely aren’t planning on kidnapping anyone. So even though Adachi’s sniffing her (not like that, ew, no), if anyone tries to make them get into a car, she can beat them up or make a fuss and they’ll have all of Inaba on their side in an instant.
If you were none of these (19/?)
anonymous
May 29 2011, 07:09:16 UTC
She wants to know what Yukiko’s plans are, if they’re going into the TV from the Dojima’s or if they’re going to-Yukiko can’t be planning to do that, no way. But it’s not like kidnapping’s good, either. She feels like she really is going to throw up, but she’s gotten pretty good at it, this whole vomiting into any open can or space, and when she catches her reflection in a window, winces, because she definitely looks it.
*
They go through the shopping district and residential districts. Chie watches out for anyone suspicious. She knows that Yukiko won’t notice. Yukiko’s always been slow to recognize danger and risk, even now. She tries to hide it so Yukiko won’t get mad at her, but Chie still has to watch out for Yukiko. They’re both going to move on from this. They’ll be fixed and cured and then everything will be okay again. Chie will do anything to make sure that happens. Anything. Even if it means never speaking to Yukiko again.
As they approach the Dojima house, Yukiko says, “Maybe you should be the one to pick her up. I’m not sure she likes me very much.”
Pick Nanako up-and then what? Toss her into a TV?
“Chie?” Yukiko says.
“I don’t want to hurt her,” Chie says.
“We won’t,” Yukiko says, but Yukiko sounds confused in a way that normal people shouldn’t. Chie’s chest feels tight.
“We’re going to,” Chie says. “What if she gets what we have?”
“She’s too young to have a Shadow,” Yukiko says.
“Teddie had one, and he was empty.”
There’s a beat.
Yukiko takes Chie’s hand, and squeezes it tentatively, as though she’s afraid Chie will shake her off. Chie squeezes back.
“Isn’t there somewhere else?” Chie says.
“You know that there can’t be anywhere else, Chie,” Yukiko says, and she sounds so tired that that Chie almost wants to give up. But then they’re on Souji’s street, halfway up the hill, and she knows she has to try.
“There has to be somewhere,” she says. “A back room in the Inn, or the mountains in the back of the Inn or…”
“We can’t,” Yukiko says, but it doesn’t have that same decisiveness that Souji’s ever had. But Souji is never going to forgive them. Maybe he will. She doesn’t know. Almost like Yukiko’s reading her mind-when did Yukiko learn how to do that?-she says, “This is for Souji-kun and Kanji-kun, Chie.”
That does it.
“Yeah,” Chie says. “I know.”
*
They write the note together, alternating strokes in hopes that it won’t look anyone’s handwriting. They fight, half-heartedly, about whose it looks more like. Chie wants it to look more like hers than Yukiko’s. Has to. Yukiko, at least, has to get out of this. She doesn’t want anything linking Yukiko back to this. They put it next to the front door and weigh it down with a rock. Then Chie rings the bell. Yukiko stands in the driveway, just out of the line of sight of anyone standing in the door.
Nanako answers the door a second later, half-hiding behind it. “Chie-chan?”
“Hi, Nanako-chan,” Chie says. She wonders if she looks as nauseous and exhausted and nervous as she feels. “Is Dojima-san home?”
“No,” she says.
“Can I come in?” Chie says.
“Big bro isn’t home.”
“I know, Nanako-chan,” Chie says, and she wants to hug her or apologize or… or something. “He’s at Junes.”
“With Daddy?” Nanako says.
“No.”
“Because big bro went with Daddy,” she says.
“Oh yeah?” Chie says. “Well, Souji-kun’s at Junes with Yosuke-kun, and they thought we should pick you up for a while, you know?”
Nanako doesn’t look like she believes her. It hurts.
“Come on,” Chie says, and hopes that she won’t have to force Nanako. She holds her hand out to Nanako.
“Where’s big bro?” she says. “He’s in trouble. Daddy is going to punish him.”
If you were none of these (20/?)
anonymous
May 29 2011, 07:13:48 UTC
“You’re lying.” The door begins to close. Chie sticks her foot in the gap before Nanako can shut. Nanako tries to slam it, but Chie steps in further.
“I’m not lying,” Chie says. She’s still holding her hand out. “Not if you come with me.”
*
(What is a cannibal, Nanako asked her big brother a few weeks ago.
Well, now she knows.)
*
Chie feels like a total creep. Nanako walks just ahead of both Chie and Yukiko, so at least Nanako thinks both of them are terrible people. Chie feels like throwing up again. Yukiko doesn’t look bothered, but this whole thing is Yukiko’s idea to begin with.
And that’s the thing. It was Yukiko’s idea. Not Yosuke’s, which-it would’ve been awful, but not so surprising. Yosuke’s been-changed by all of this, and Souji-maybe, maybe not. And as for Yukiko-
Chie’s just bullied a little girl into a TV, so if Yukiko’s changed, then at least Chie has changed with her.
((slow updates are slow. oh my god.
not saying anything's ending soon, since I don't want to jinx myself again. that being said: doot doot doot 11,000 words down, oh god.
I'll see you on the next update. you know. once I figure out how to be more horrible to everyone.))
Oh, geeze, sorry for vanishing like that without a word.
Um, I hate to invoke the writer's block excuse, because that's not what happened. I just got stuck and went on and wrote other stories to get unblocked and. ... forgot about this one.
... I'll. I'll update soon. Death and gloom for everyone!
If you were none of these (21/?)
anonymous
September 12 2011, 05:42:31 UTC
give up. (4/bite the bullet remix)
There are police cars pulled into the Junes parking lot in a furtive spot, and people with guns inside. There aren’t any shoppers inside. Chie holds onto Nanako’s hand, because Nanako won’t take Yukiko’s. They’re walking into a trap, but to go into a TV they’ve never been through, especially without Rise to guide them.
“Do you see anyone?” Yukiko says, trying to not move her head too much as they walk to the elevator. The security cameras seem to be trained on them. Maybe they are. Who knows if Shirogane’s relationship with the police is as bad as it seems. If it is, then they’ll be okay, but if not…
“I see someone looking at the dishes.”
Yukiko has her thinking look on. “Junes does have a nice silverware deal right now.”
Chie kind of feels like that’s beside the point. Silverware? Now?
“Don’t worry,” Yukiko says, and strokes Chie’s hair. They enter the elevator. “We have Nanako-chan.”
There’s a moment where Chie’s entire body stiffens, like it’s suddenly gotten cold, but her neck and the back of her head feel like they’re going to burst into flame. The door closes. Chie tries to pretend that there wasn’t a policeman with a walkie-talkie in the corner.
“This is crazy,” Chie says. “I mean, this is really crazy.”
“Are you sick?” Yukiko says, pressing the button to the second floor.
“What do you think?” Chie says. She gestures to Nanako, who doesn’t look happy with… well, any of this, and then she looks at the security camera, which caught the whole Shirogane thing.
“Maybe this really is the end,” Yukiko says.
“Don’t say that,” Chie says. “We’re definitely going to make it.”
“Maybe.”
“You’re so-” Chie feels the urge to grab Yukiko, shake, pull her into and-but there’s Nanako right there, and the elevator dings as they arrive. There’s Adachi in the electronics department, near the TVs. He’s waiting for them, leaning against a box with a long, hard smile.
“Hey, Satonaka-san,” he says. “Nanako-chan. Amagi-san.”
Nanako doesn’t look like she wants to be near Adachi anymore than she wants to be around Yukiko or Chie.
“What do you want?” Chie says.
“Haha,” Adachi says. “Just a quick conversation, that’s all.” He’s looking at them, like he’s considering something. Then he says, “Who thought it would’ve been you kids, huh.”
They’re going to have to get rid of Adachi, somehow. Chie feels her head get light.
“You don’t have to worry,” Adachi says. “I’ve come alone. Just me.”
“So what’s with all the officers?” Chie says.
“Well,” Adachi says. “They’re just there in case things get nasty. C’mon. We got the tapes. First Shirogane and now Dojima-san’s girl? You guys pull a mean game.”
Chie holds onto Nanako’s hand a little tighter. Yukiko steps forward.
“We haven’t done anything,” Yukiko says.
“Haha,” Adachi says. “Where are you girls going?”
“It isn’t any of your business,” says Yukiko says, all stiff and proper and with a hint of steel.
“Come on, Amagi-san, don’t resist it,” Adachi says. “You’re outnumbered.”
“Not here,” Chie says. She pushes Nanako forward to Yukiko. “And not right now.”
“Yeah?” Adachi says. “You know, I don’t even feel sorry for you anymore. Don’t make trouble.”
Yeah, whatever. She’s eaten. She feels fine. She jumps forward, and Adachi draws his gun-she kicks it out of his hand, and spin kicks his head. He staggers, falls forward, then grabs onto the edge of a TV and tosses it onto the ground. It breaks onto the ground with a smash.
“Don’t just stand there!” Chie says to Yukiko. “You have to get Nanako-chan to safety!”
If you were none of these (22/?)
anonymous
September 12 2011, 05:44:37 UTC
“Right,” Yukiko says, grabbing onto Nanako. Chie wants to say something else-maybe something like, ‘I’ll be there soon,’ but then Adachi grab her chest with his hands and twists. He’s mostly holding onto her uniform, but the pain still jolts her like a shock. She bashes her head against his nose, and like an idiot, hits him with her forehead. Even when he drops to the ground, she’s tempted to fall over and grab her head, too. She knees him in the face, and then hits him again-his head bends into her bones, and she pretends to not feel it.
She lets him fall. Yukiko is there to catch her when her legs go weak.
“Nanako-chan,” Chie says.
“I already put her in,” Yukiko says. It sounds a little surreal coming from her mouth. She looks down at Adachi, and then draws in a deep breath. “He’s still alive. I think.”
“Right,” Chie says. They don’t kill people unless it’s absolutely necessary, and even then, Souji’s the one who picks the targets-she doesn’t know how, and doesn’t want to know how. She’s relieved that Adachi’s still alive.
“We should get rid of him,” Yukiko says.
“But that’ll make us-”
“Murderers?”
Well, there’s that. “Cop-killers.”
“Are detectives cops?”
“Yukiko,” Chie says. She’s tired and doesn’t want to think like this.
“I’m sorry,” Yukiko says. “It’s just-” There’s a pop, and then Yukiko falls forward, clutching at her chest. There’s blood-Chie knows that smell too well-and then something hot splashes onto Chie’s skin. Adachi’s standing, gun still pointed at Yukiko; his face, bloody and broken, is livid. There’s another shot, and Chie feels something hot strike her shoulder. She grabs Yukiko and pulls her to their TV. There are a few more shots of the gun, which make Yukiko flinch, but the bullets miss their mark. Chie knocks over some other TVs to provide a screen. They make it to their TV without taking any more hits.
“You should go first,” Yukiko says.
“No, you should,” Chie says.
“You have to promise that you’ll come with me,” Yukiko says. “At the same time. No heroics, Chie. I can take whatever happens to me, but if something were to happen to you-”
“Okay,” Chie says, because she needs Yukiko to stop talking before the detective’s bullet ends up in her head. “I promise.”
“Okay,” Yukiko says. “Good.”
She has a pretty smile. Chie finds herself smiling back. They reach into the TV with their hands, and Chie knows she promised, but she has to make sure Yukiko makes it safely. The last thing she sees before everything goes black is Yukiko turning back to look at her, eyes wide and-
If you were none of these (23/?)
anonymous
September 12 2011, 05:45:26 UTC
*
“Are you all right?” Yosuke says, which is a dumb, dumb thing to say when Yukiko’s staring at a Chie’s dead body like it’s a squashed bug or dried fish. She’s sitting in blood, her legs folded beneath her.
This is going to be so fucking traumatic for Nanako ten years from now. Nanako’s pressed her face into his pants. Yukiko says nothing.
“You know,” Yosuke says. “I’m sad, too, but it…” It’s kind of inevitable. He’s just surprised Chie’s the first to go. And at least Chie died doing what she always liked doing best. “I mean, I’m sorry and all but…”
“This is the end,” Yukiko says. “There isn’t anything left.”
“Come on,” Yosuke says. “That’s a little melodramatic, isn’t it?” He tries to help her up, but she pushes him aside. Nanako’s holding onto his leg so tightly that Yosuke swears there’s going to be a Nanako-shaped bruise on his thigh later. “Have you heard anything about Souji yet?”
“Of course not,” Yukiko says. She runs a hand through Chie’s hair, apparently not caring for the blood or the… Yosuke watches, and then turns away.
“She’d want you to save Souji,” Yosuke says.
“No, she wouldn’t,” Yukiko says.
“Fine,” Yosuke says. “Be that way.”
He means it to sound angry, but it’s hard to argue with her when she’s so sad. He’s not sad. He knew this would happen one day. Sure, it sucks that it happened to Chie-but they have to go, they have to keep going, they have to…
“What are we going to do with the body?” Yosuke says.
“Don’t you dare,” Yukiko says.
“I wasn’t.”
“Good.”
Yosuke wipes his nose. He clutches Nanako’s shoulders. Then he says, “I’m going to put Nanako-chan somewhere safe.”
“Make sure you don’t put her near Teddie,” Yukiko says. But it almost sounds like she didn’t care.
((whoops, late update is late. and short. ... s-still writing this to its bloody, bloody conclusion. please be patient with me.))
Re: If you were none of these (23/?)
anonymous
September 22 2011, 02:30:44 UTC
THIS is my current reason for keeping up with the meme. I love how in character they are even though they've changed from bringing murders to justice, to murders. I'm really curious about how this all started. What happened to Saki? Did Yosuke...? And I can't help but wonder about how this will end, and naoto's role in it. Will she choose to join the IT when she realizes the world will no longer accept her as a boy or as a girl? Or will she fight to the bitter end both the IT and her own growing hunger? By eliminating all the Asuras... including herself?
And Darn if “Make sure you don’t put her near Teddie,” doesn't put shivers down my anticipating spine.
Re: writer!anon
anonymous
January 30 2012, 15:47:13 UTC
Different anon here - I've only just found this fic, and ahhh, it's amazing. Dark and compelling and so effective despite being AU. Really looking forward to reading more of it.
In the morning, her big brother wakes up and comes downstairs and makes breakfast for her. It’s Sunday, and normally Dad would be home, but today Souji says Dad is investigating something and won’t be back for a while. He’s in a good mood. They’re having rice and pickled radishes and sausage patties for breakfast. Nanako thinks about pointing out that the sausage patties aren’t healthy and that they should be eating fish instead, but her big brother doesn’t look tired or upset today, and he wasn’t throwing up into the toilet again, so she eats her breakfast without complaints. The food is good as usual. She wishes Souji would make more vegetables.
After breakfast, her big brother goes to his room to do some homework. Nanako does the laundry. She knocks on Souji’s door around noon, and asks for his clothes. He tells her that he can wash his own clothes.
“No, you shouldn’t,” she says. “I should do it.”
Souji opens the door, and smiles down at her. “It’s all right, Nanako,” he says. “I really, really want to do my own laundry.”
“What are you hiding?” she says.
Souji’s smile doesn’t falter. “I’m not hiding anything, Nanako,” he says, and closes the door.
Nanako stomps her foot and says, “If you loved me, you’d let me do your laundry!”
Souji opens the door. He looks concerned, which is good, because she’s worried about him, too. Then he says, “All I have are socks and underwear to wash.”
“I can do that,” she says.
“No,” he says. “I’ll do it myself.”
“You’re going to waste water,” she says.
“It’s my underwear,” he says, and his cheeks are a little pink. He shuts the door, muttering, “It’ll be embarrassing.”
“You’re the embarrassing one!” she says to the door, and this time she hears a laugh on the other side of the door.
Her big brother can be mean sometimes. If he loved her, he would let her in. Nanako stares at the door. She knows she’s being a kid, but she wants to cry for a long time, anyway.
*
Dad calls while Nanako is thinking about eating lunch. Dad says all the usual things: that he’s sorry that it’s Sunday and he’s working, that he wants to be home, that he hopes she’s being safe. Then his voice gets all funny.
“Is Souji home?” he says.
“Yeah,” Nanako says. “Is he in trouble?”
“No, Nanako,” Dad says, and he’s lying to her, like all big people have been lying to her. “I just want to ask him some questions, that’s all.”
“What did he do?” Nanako says.
“I can’t tell you that,” Dad says, in the mortified, confused way that he has when he’s afraid to tell her something. “Why don’t you keep your big brother company? Make sure he stays in the house. Will you do that for me, Nanako?”
Nanako looks up the stairs, where she knows Souji is, and then at the phone receiver.
Just some questions, Dad says. Just some questions.
“When will you be back home?” she says.
“Soon,” he says. “I promise.”
“You promised,” she says, and her voice wavers. And she knows that he’s promised because he loves her, even if he can’t keep it. Not like her brother, who won’t promise things even if he’ll do things. Not like her brother, who’s in trouble and won’t tell her why. “I love you, Daddy.”
“Of course,” Dad says, and he sounds sad. “I love you, too.”
*
Around two o’clock, Souji steps out of his room all dressed up. His clothes don’t fit him that well anymore. He looks shabby.
“Are you going?” Nanako says.
“There’s something I need to take care of,” he says.
“But I’m not done with the laundry yet,” she says.
“Are you still going on about that?” Souji says, and he sounds so annoyed with her that she shrinks away because she’s sure that she’s done something wrong. But then she shakes her head. She’s not the one who’s done anything wrong, she tells herself. It’s Souji who’s being thickheaded about this, who won’t listen to reason or to her or to anyone.
“Why won’t you let me do it?” she says.
“I told you already,” Souji says. “There isn’t anything to wash.”
Reply
“I’m going to your room,” she says. Souji’s face hardens, but she’s determined to do this. She goes up the stairs, and Souji follows her, his footsteps heavy behind her.
“Don’t go in there, Nanako,” he says, and she almost doesn’t, because it sounds like a threat. But there’s no reason for him to hide things from her. She runs up the last few steps and flings the door open before Souji can reach her.
She planned to go straight for his hamper, but can’t move from the doorway. His room is dark with the curtains drawn. The TV is on. There’s a camera on his desk. His futon has been left out. It looks like he’s slashed it apart in his sleep. His walls have scratches in them, as though he’s been clawing them. Souji grabs her by the back of the neck, and she screams, because she’s afraid of the person who lives in here-and then Souji pulls her out of his bedroom.
“Why did you do that, Nanako?” he says.
“I wish I hadn’t,” she says. “I wish I never went in there.”
“I know,” Souji says.
“I wish you never came here!” she says, and runs into her room and shuts the door. She knows that she’s supposed to keep Souji in the house, but she doesn’t care anymore. She doesn’ care about any of it. Souji knocks on her door.
“Nanako,” he says.
She doesn’t answer. She goes to the corner of her room and curls up there. He enters, because she didn’t lock the door when she came in.
“I’m sorry,” she says.
“It’s okay,” he says. “Hey, I’m going to make something for you. What do you want?”
“I don’t want anything,” she says.
“Cream puffs,” he says. “Do you like those?”
“No.”
“Cookies, then,” he says.
She doesn’t say anything. She hears Dad pulling into the driveway. Dad is going to ask questions and Souji is going to answer them and it’ll be okay again. Souji won’t be in trouble and he won’t be weird and everything will go away.
Souji’s phone rings. He answers it and steps away from Nanako and onto the stairwell. Nanako hears the front door open. Souji puts his phone in his pocket. He looks, in a single panicked motion, to his room. He ducks back in there. Nanako watches from her room. She sees something strange: Souji takes his notebooks and his camera and makes them disappear inside the TV. After Souji leaves, Nanako runs up to the TV in his room and puts her palm on the glass.
*
Chie isn’t talking to Yukiko. Chie doesn’t know if she ever wants to talk to Yukiko again, although she knows that she’s going to have to. Yosuke’s taken Naoto into the TV-oh god, they’re really doing this, she feels like throwing up in a paper bag-because he thinks the police are going to jump his ass if he goes anywhere near the Dojima’s house. Chie thinks he has a point. She and Yukiko, they’re-they’re Chie and Yukiko, familiar faces who definitely aren’t planning on kidnapping anyone. So even though Adachi’s sniffing her (not like that, ew, no), if anyone tries to make them get into a car, she can beat them up or make a fuss and they’ll have all of Inaba on their side in an instant.
Reply
*
They go through the shopping district and residential districts. Chie watches out for anyone suspicious. She knows that Yukiko won’t notice. Yukiko’s always been slow to recognize danger and risk, even now. She tries to hide it so Yukiko won’t get mad at her, but Chie still has to watch out for Yukiko. They’re both going to move on from this. They’ll be fixed and cured and then everything will be okay again. Chie will do anything to make sure that happens. Anything. Even if it means never speaking to Yukiko again.
As they approach the Dojima house, Yukiko says, “Maybe you should be the one to pick her up. I’m not sure she likes me very much.”
Pick Nanako up-and then what? Toss her into a TV?
“Chie?” Yukiko says.
“I don’t want to hurt her,” Chie says.
“We won’t,” Yukiko says, but Yukiko sounds confused in a way that normal people shouldn’t. Chie’s chest feels tight.
“We’re going to,” Chie says. “What if she gets what we have?”
“She’s too young to have a Shadow,” Yukiko says.
“Teddie had one, and he was empty.”
There’s a beat.
Yukiko takes Chie’s hand, and squeezes it tentatively, as though she’s afraid Chie will shake her off. Chie squeezes back.
“Isn’t there somewhere else?” Chie says.
“You know that there can’t be anywhere else, Chie,” Yukiko says, and she sounds so tired that that Chie almost wants to give up. But then they’re on Souji’s street, halfway up the hill, and she knows she has to try.
“There has to be somewhere,” she says. “A back room in the Inn, or the mountains in the back of the Inn or…”
“We can’t,” Yukiko says, but it doesn’t have that same decisiveness that Souji’s ever had. But Souji is never going to forgive them. Maybe he will. She doesn’t know. Almost like Yukiko’s reading her mind-when did Yukiko learn how to do that?-she says, “This is for Souji-kun and Kanji-kun, Chie.”
That does it.
“Yeah,” Chie says. “I know.”
*
They write the note together, alternating strokes in hopes that it won’t look anyone’s handwriting. They fight, half-heartedly, about whose it looks more like. Chie wants it to look more like hers than Yukiko’s. Has to. Yukiko, at least, has to get out of this. She doesn’t want anything linking Yukiko back to this. They put it next to the front door and weigh it down with a rock. Then Chie rings the bell. Yukiko stands in the driveway, just out of the line of sight of anyone standing in the door.
Nanako answers the door a second later, half-hiding behind it. “Chie-chan?”
“Hi, Nanako-chan,” Chie says. She wonders if she looks as nauseous and exhausted and nervous as she feels. “Is Dojima-san home?”
“No,” she says.
“Can I come in?” Chie says.
“Big bro isn’t home.”
“I know, Nanako-chan,” Chie says, and she wants to hug her or apologize or… or something. “He’s at Junes.”
“With Daddy?” Nanako says.
“No.”
“Because big bro went with Daddy,” she says.
“Oh yeah?” Chie says. “Well, Souji-kun’s at Junes with Yosuke-kun, and they thought we should pick you up for a while, you know?”
Nanako doesn’t look like she believes her. It hurts.
“Come on,” Chie says, and hopes that she won’t have to force Nanako. She holds her hand out to Nanako.
“Where’s big bro?” she says. “He’s in trouble. Daddy is going to punish him.”
“Junes,” Chie says.
Reply
“I’m not lying,” Chie says. She’s still holding her hand out. “Not if you come with me.”
*
(What is a cannibal, Nanako asked her big brother a few weeks ago.
Well, now she knows.)
*
Chie feels like a total creep. Nanako walks just ahead of both Chie and Yukiko, so at least Nanako thinks both of them are terrible people. Chie feels like throwing up again. Yukiko doesn’t look bothered, but this whole thing is Yukiko’s idea to begin with.
And that’s the thing. It was Yukiko’s idea. Not Yosuke’s, which-it would’ve been awful, but not so surprising. Yosuke’s been-changed by all of this, and Souji-maybe, maybe not. And as for Yukiko-
Chie’s just bullied a little girl into a TV, so if Yukiko’s changed, then at least Chie has changed with her.
((slow updates are slow. oh my god.
not saying anything's ending soon, since I don't want to jinx myself again. that being said: doot doot doot 11,000 words down, oh god.
I'll see you on the next update. you know. once I figure out how to be more horrible to everyone.))
Reply
Which means you're doing your job and here I thought DDS couldn't make me cry anymore than it already did. /sob
Reply
Reply
Um, I hate to invoke the writer's block excuse, because that's not what happened. I just got stuck and went on and wrote other stories to get unblocked and. ... forgot about this one.
... I'll. I'll update soon. Death and gloom for everyone!
Reply
There are police cars pulled into the Junes parking lot in a furtive spot, and people with guns inside. There aren’t any shoppers inside. Chie holds onto Nanako’s hand, because Nanako won’t take Yukiko’s. They’re walking into a trap, but to go into a TV they’ve never been through, especially without Rise to guide them.
“Do you see anyone?” Yukiko says, trying to not move her head too much as they walk to the elevator. The security cameras seem to be trained on them. Maybe they are. Who knows if Shirogane’s relationship with the police is as bad as it seems. If it is, then they’ll be okay, but if not…
“I see someone looking at the dishes.”
Yukiko has her thinking look on. “Junes does have a nice silverware deal right now.”
Chie kind of feels like that’s beside the point. Silverware? Now?
“Don’t worry,” Yukiko says, and strokes Chie’s hair. They enter the elevator. “We have Nanako-chan.”
There’s a moment where Chie’s entire body stiffens, like it’s suddenly gotten cold, but her neck and the back of her head feel like they’re going to burst into flame. The door closes. Chie tries to pretend that there wasn’t a policeman with a walkie-talkie in the corner.
“This is crazy,” Chie says. “I mean, this is really crazy.”
“Are you sick?” Yukiko says, pressing the button to the second floor.
“What do you think?” Chie says. She gestures to Nanako, who doesn’t look happy with… well, any of this, and then she looks at the security camera, which caught the whole Shirogane thing.
“Maybe this really is the end,” Yukiko says.
“Don’t say that,” Chie says. “We’re definitely going to make it.”
“Maybe.”
“You’re so-” Chie feels the urge to grab Yukiko, shake, pull her into and-but there’s Nanako right there, and the elevator dings as they arrive. There’s Adachi in the electronics department, near the TVs. He’s waiting for them, leaning against a box with a long, hard smile.
“Hey, Satonaka-san,” he says. “Nanako-chan. Amagi-san.”
Nanako doesn’t look like she wants to be near Adachi anymore than she wants to be around Yukiko or Chie.
“What do you want?” Chie says.
“Haha,” Adachi says. “Just a quick conversation, that’s all.” He’s looking at them, like he’s considering something. Then he says, “Who thought it would’ve been you kids, huh.”
They’re going to have to get rid of Adachi, somehow. Chie feels her head get light.
“You don’t have to worry,” Adachi says. “I’ve come alone. Just me.”
“So what’s with all the officers?” Chie says.
“Well,” Adachi says. “They’re just there in case things get nasty. C’mon. We got the tapes. First Shirogane and now Dojima-san’s girl? You guys pull a mean game.”
Chie holds onto Nanako’s hand a little tighter. Yukiko steps forward.
“We haven’t done anything,” Yukiko says.
“Haha,” Adachi says. “Where are you girls going?”
“It isn’t any of your business,” says Yukiko says, all stiff and proper and with a hint of steel.
“Come on, Amagi-san, don’t resist it,” Adachi says. “You’re outnumbered.”
“Not here,” Chie says. She pushes Nanako forward to Yukiko. “And not right now.”
“Yeah?” Adachi says. “You know, I don’t even feel sorry for you anymore. Don’t make trouble.”
Yeah, whatever. She’s eaten. She feels fine. She jumps forward, and Adachi draws his gun-she kicks it out of his hand, and spin kicks his head. He staggers, falls forward, then grabs onto the edge of a TV and tosses it onto the ground. It breaks onto the ground with a smash.
“Don’t just stand there!” Chie says to Yukiko. “You have to get Nanako-chan to safety!”
Reply
She lets him fall. Yukiko is there to catch her when her legs go weak.
“Nanako-chan,” Chie says.
“I already put her in,” Yukiko says. It sounds a little surreal coming from her mouth. She looks down at Adachi, and then draws in a deep breath. “He’s still alive. I think.”
“Right,” Chie says. They don’t kill people unless it’s absolutely necessary, and even then, Souji’s the one who picks the targets-she doesn’t know how, and doesn’t want to know how. She’s relieved that Adachi’s still alive.
“We should get rid of him,” Yukiko says.
“But that’ll make us-”
“Murderers?”
Well, there’s that. “Cop-killers.”
“Are detectives cops?”
“Yukiko,” Chie says. She’s tired and doesn’t want to think like this.
“I’m sorry,” Yukiko says. “It’s just-” There’s a pop, and then Yukiko falls forward, clutching at her chest. There’s blood-Chie knows that smell too well-and then something hot splashes onto Chie’s skin. Adachi’s standing, gun still pointed at Yukiko; his face, bloody and broken, is livid. There’s another shot, and Chie feels something hot strike her shoulder. She grabs Yukiko and pulls her to their TV. There are a few more shots of the gun, which make Yukiko flinch, but the bullets miss their mark. Chie knocks over some other TVs to provide a screen. They make it to their TV without taking any more hits.
“You should go first,” Yukiko says.
“No, you should,” Chie says.
“You have to promise that you’ll come with me,” Yukiko says. “At the same time. No heroics, Chie. I can take whatever happens to me, but if something were to happen to you-”
“Okay,” Chie says, because she needs Yukiko to stop talking before the detective’s bullet ends up in her head. “I promise.”
“Okay,” Yukiko says. “Good.”
She has a pretty smile. Chie finds herself smiling back. They reach into the TV with their hands, and Chie knows she promised, but she has to make sure Yukiko makes it safely. The last thing she sees before everything goes black is Yukiko turning back to look at her, eyes wide and-
Reply
“Are you all right?” Yosuke says, which is a dumb, dumb thing to say when Yukiko’s staring at a Chie’s dead body like it’s a squashed bug or dried fish. She’s sitting in blood, her legs folded beneath her.
This is going to be so fucking traumatic for Nanako ten years from now. Nanako’s pressed her face into his pants. Yukiko says nothing.
“You know,” Yosuke says. “I’m sad, too, but it…” It’s kind of inevitable. He’s just surprised Chie’s the first to go. And at least Chie died doing what she always liked doing best. “I mean, I’m sorry and all but…”
“This is the end,” Yukiko says. “There isn’t anything left.”
“Come on,” Yosuke says. “That’s a little melodramatic, isn’t it?” He tries to help her up, but she pushes him aside. Nanako’s holding onto his leg so tightly that Yosuke swears there’s going to be a Nanako-shaped bruise on his thigh later. “Have you heard anything about Souji yet?”
“Of course not,” Yukiko says. She runs a hand through Chie’s hair, apparently not caring for the blood or the… Yosuke watches, and then turns away.
“She’d want you to save Souji,” Yosuke says.
“No, she wouldn’t,” Yukiko says.
“Fine,” Yosuke says. “Be that way.”
He means it to sound angry, but it’s hard to argue with her when she’s so sad. He’s not sad. He knew this would happen one day. Sure, it sucks that it happened to Chie-but they have to go, they have to keep going, they have to…
“What are we going to do with the body?” Yosuke says.
“Don’t you dare,” Yukiko says.
“I wasn’t.”
“Good.”
Yosuke wipes his nose. He clutches Nanako’s shoulders. Then he says, “I’m going to put Nanako-chan somewhere safe.”
“Make sure you don’t put her near Teddie,” Yukiko says. But it almost sounds like she didn’t care.
((whoops, late update is late. and short. ... s-still writing this to its bloody, bloody conclusion. please be patient with me.))
Reply
Oh nooo it's back ;_; I don't know if my heart can take this!
Reply
And Darn if “Make sure you don’t put her near Teddie,” doesn't put shivers down my anticipating spine.
Reply
Reply
Reply
But thank you for reading, anon. :>
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment