Redemption, Termination (2.1/?)
anonymous
May 22 2012, 03:08:38 UTC
"K....Kanji..." he mumbled out in reply with some force, and an audible strain to his voice.'Teddie' cocked his head slightly. "Uh...Tatsumi."
"Hm...Kanji...Kaaanji..." The boy seemed to roll the name off his tongue (testing it out?) and smiled to himself a little bit, just faintly; he even nodded, and Kanji felt as if he'd gained some all important seal of approval for...What, his name?
Either way, the boy wasn't flinching away from his outward appearance, and that, Kanji realized, was pretty bad for him, in a sense. He didn't dislike the kid or anything; he seemed alright, not the type he'd usually associate with. He was probably right around his age. Had to be only about fifteen or so. That was, in it's own way, terrifying. God, he was so scrawny, compared to Kanji, like the punk could break him just by touching him. When the boy sat up and leaned forward, appearing even smaller with his hospital gown hanging off of him, Kanji swore he could count the knobs of his spine running down his back through the fabric, and he had to sit down to keep from passing out as the room began to spin. Just sitting with someone in a hospital, someone so frail and thin was...Well. Claustrophobic. Hit too close to home for his tastes.
"Uh, well, Kanji.." Teddie's voice snapped him to focus, back into looking at the boy, who was staring at him intently. "Um!" The boy nodded, looked like he was trying to be perky, but his eyes had lost the bit of light from earlier and just looked so depressed again, as much as he tried to hide it. "Uh, if you're…Looking for someone, I could…Probably tell you...How to get to their room! Or, um, I could call in one of the nurses to help you go wherever you needed to go...!" Kanji startled, just slightly.
It was almost painful, watching the boy try to be so enthusiastic over helping him leave. Did...He even get many visitors? He'd only been here for a few minutes, and Kanji had the distinct feeling that, no, he didn't.
"Uh, no, I...Uh." Kanji cleared his throat. "I'm...I'm here to...Visit." he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head and idly fingering one of the rings on his ear nervously. He looked up, saw the forced confusion on Teddie's face, like he was trying not to get his hopes up and jump to conclusions. But the hope in his eyes couldn't be forced down, so obvious in the way Teddie never took his eyes off of him. Kanji bit his lip. "Uh. Visit you, y'know. Um. Small town, you know, you hear a lot of things," and Kanji swore the boy's face was changing right in front of him, growing brighter, those big blue eyes becoming lively again, like a spring rain washing the dirt away. He could almost tell what kind of mood the boy was in already just by how...
Kanji felt his cheeks heat up a little.
How beautiful he was.
Kanji shook his head quickly, even wanted to slap himself, and he was sure he was looking pretty red. No. No. He did not have....those kind of thoughts. Those...queer thoughts. Not here.
You shouldn't have them anywhere, his inner voice chided. You’re a man, damn it. Men don’t think like that.
"I just. Felt. You could use some...Company. Y'know?"
The boy just lit up, absolutely sparkled at that, and Kanji plopped his ass down in the bedside chair; that look, in itself, of unadulterated joy was practically worth being there.
However.
That seemed to be where the boy hit his social snag. The moment Kanji sat down, almost embraced his fate, Teddie clammed up.
It wasn’t like he lost immediate interest in the idea of someone visiting him; oh, no, Kanji could see that much. The boy was glowing, absolutely dazzling, becoming the new light source of the room, and Kanji almost felt like he needed sunglasses.
But he seemed so excited by the prospect of someone being there, so unused to the notion, that…He didn’t seem to know how to react. What to talk about. Was scared of screwing the chance up.
Re: Redemption, Termination (2.2/?)
anonymous
May 22 2012, 03:11:16 UTC
So he just dropped into silence. Excited silence. But silence, nonetheless, with fidgety movements and nervous twitches, eyes begging him to be there, to talk to him, to interact, and.
How the hell was Kanji supposed to even react to that?
He didn’t know how to connect to well-adjusted people on a normal basis. Not when they were so absorbed in their own life and own issues and talking about them that he didn’t need to put a word in.
But put him together with someone else who was so unused to interacting with people, and you got this suffocating cloud of awkward silence. Kanji found himself nervously flicking his eyes up towards the clock, and-
And when his eyes came back, back to Teddie, those excited ticks had gone, and the corners of his mouth were drooping downwards with disappointment.
He caught that, ya idiot. Will ya quit acting like such a fucking pansy and talk to him? Make him at least think ya wanna be there?
You’ll never get your damn paper signed at this rate.
Kanji cleared his throat. “Um. So. Teddie.” Teddie swallowed, seemed to bite his lip. Nodded to show he was listening, bright blue eyes wide with focus. “You. Uh. You…Like, anything?” Smooth, Tatsumi. You really are just the best at this 'socializing' shit.
“Um.” Teddie cocked his head in an almost exaggeratedly cartoon-like fashion, lips pursed, eyes rolled upwards to stare at the ceiling as he thought about it for a while. “I….Like animals!” he nodded enthusiastically, grinning, every motion of his an exaggeration, and Kanji couldn't help but wonder why. Why a teenager, so seemingly resigned to die when he thought no one was around, was such a kid the moment something happened to make his day worth living.
Kanji cracked a small smile, despite himself. He leaned forward; here was a topic he could talk about. Even if his inner voice told him not to because small animals weren't manly.
“Animals, huh?” he smiled a bit, and in his head, despite himself, had a mental notebook and pen poised at the ready. “Yeah? Well. I kin’a like animals too.” Teddie’s eyes lit up at that, widened to comical proportions, disappointment and wary vanishing now. He leaned forward excitedly, like they were sharing some great secret.
“R-really? What kind of animals?”
“Uh…” Kanji looked down, tapped his foot nervously a bit. Debated between what he wanted to say and what the manly thing to say might be. Decided, fuck, who cared, one way or another? “Well. I, uh, I really like. Rabbits. Bunnies, y'know." he looked down. "Cute, and....and fluffy and shit.” Teddie beamed at this, grinning so wide Kanji could see the pale, paper thin skin of his face folding into dimples at the motion, skin flushing with excitement to where he almost looked...Healthy.
And fuck, how the hell was he seriously sparkling?
“Bunnies! I love bunnies!” Teddie laughed, melodically, clapping his hands like it was the best thing he’d heard all year. “But! But! Bears are the best, don’t you think, Kanji?”
Kanji considered this for just a moment, let a grin pull at his own features, and soon he was nodding, too.
"Hah, yeah, bears 're pretty damn cute. Ha, and, I guess outta any animal, they'd be the beary best, huh?" he grinned, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. God, how cheesy ya gotta be, Tatsumi?
But Teddie seemed to take a much different reaction to that. He looked positively enchanted, and was practically bouncing up and down on his hospital bed, grinning ear to ear. Kanji laughed at that, and almost felt he should be calming Teddie down before he hurt himself.
"Ooo! Ooo! Puns! Puns! Me next! Haha! You sure managed to Kanjure a great Kanjecture, Kanji!" That had the two in stitches, laughing so hard they had tears streaming down their cheeks.
"Haha! Shit, I--God damn it Teddie, stop! I can't bear this anymore!"
Re: Redemption, Termination (2.3/?)
anonymous
May 22 2012, 03:13:47 UTC
"PFFFFT, b--but, Kanji!! You can't be fur serious!! We've just gotten started---You can't pawsibly be done so soon!" Kanji roared with laughter, arm slung over his eyes as he threw his head back. He was laughing so hard, god, his ribs were even starting to hurt.
Teddie seemed to be in the same boat he was, laughing so hard his face was more red than an angry Morooka, tears making his cheeks glossy.
When he and Teddie were both calmer, now shaking with the after tremors and little giggles of a great laughing fit, he held up his hands, signalling a truce.
"Well..." he grinned, chuckling and panting just slightly. ".....abearently I am....Not!"
Their giggle fit begun anew, and it took the entrance of a nurse, curious about the source of the commotion, and some intense knuckle-biting to calm down.
"Now boys..." the nurse chuckled, shaking her head and glancing between the two of them with amusement and a great deal of relief--probably at seeing Teddie so happy. Kanji smiled, and for a moment he felt really proud of himself. "This is a hospital you know, and we'll need you to keep it down..."
The two teens looked between themselves with the guilty grins of children who really didn't feel bad at all for their mischief.
"Hehe...! Sorry miss Sayoko!"
"Heh...Yeah, sorry ma'am...Haha, guess we didn't really hear how loud we were gettin'."
The nurse only smiled and shook her head, not looking mad at all. "It's perfectly fine. Now, Teddie, it's time for your medicine--"
"Awwwww, but Sayoko-chaaaan..!"
"No buts, mister. Besides, it's probably time Tatsumi-kun gets on his way, isn't it?"
"Uh, yeah, s'pose--" Kanji glanced up at the wall clock, which he'd forgotten sometime in their little pun-off. "Shit, s'already been an hour? Man, time flies when you're uh, an' excuse me fer this one, when yer havin' pun." He grinned when Teddie buried his face in his pillow to contain his giggles. Reaching forward, he ruffled the boy's blond hair, who looked up from the pillow with flushed cheeks and the bluest, clearest eyes Kanji had ever seen.
Fuckin' beautiful.
"You'll come back and see me again, right Kanji?" Teddie beamed, and Kanji laughed, nodding his head.
"Yeah. I'll be back. Take yer meds and behave for the nurses, ya hear me?" Teddie chirped out a reply in response, and Kanji knew he was watching him all the way out the door.
The nurse followed him, seeing him out of the room, and called to Teddie that she'd be right back. Upon closing the door, she leaned against it with a small, odd little smile and her arms crossed over her clipboard, which she held to her chest. Those dark eyes of hers twinkled, and she cocked her head in a way that made her dark, glossy hair, pulled back into a small ponytail, bounce good-naturedly.
"I've been here for years," she said gently, then looked down, shaking her head. "and I have never seen Teddie quite so happy. I know why you're here and everything, but thank you, Tatsumi-kun." Kanji blushed a bit, looked down and even rubbed his head. He opened his mouth, ready to brush off the compliment, but Sayoko smiled that odd little smile of hers again, and cut him off. "If you're ever itching to make a little hospital visit... hours, I work late, you know, and, well, as for...Visiting hours....We make exceptions." She then opened the door, disappearing behind it, and as it closed with a slight click, Kanji shook his head, face flushing with embarrassment.
Weird ass nurse. Nice. But. Weird.
Kanji just smiled, shook his head, and threw his backpack over his shoulder as he took his leave, glad to put some distance between him and the hospital. Teddie made it pretty alright; but now, he just wanted to get out of here. Go home and wash off the smell of chemicals, and get a nice, warm dinner in his belly.
Re: Redemption, Termination (2.4/?)
anonymous
May 22 2012, 03:17:23 UTC
"Oh! Kanji, how was your first day at the hospital?" Kanji looked up as he was kicking off his boots; his mother, just having closed up shop, came to greet him. Her calm posture and the elegance she exuded, with her traditional kimono and polite Japanese attitude towards guests, might fool anyone else in town. But Kanji was her son, had seen her through the good and the bad.
He could tell she'd been fretting about him going to do this, had worried he couldn't handle it, and now she was worried if he was okay. Kanji tried to reassure her with his best smile, and he found he didn't have to try and force it that much. The smile came easier and more true than it had in a long while, and he found himself unable to hold back a small grin.
That seemed to shock his mom slightly, whose mouth fell open just a bit; she cocked her head, narrowed her eyes, as if trying to read what exactly was going through her son's head. What had caused this change, exactly.
"Well....I....I'm really...Glad to hear it, Kanji....! I was...Really worried about you, you know." she admitted gently, and walked up to him. He towered over her small frame, more than a full head taller than her, and she had to reach up to place her thin, wrinkled hands on his cheeks. "You've had to grow up so fast, my little Kanji..." she said quietly.
"Ma...."
"I know it's been so hard for you, without your father around...We never could have prepared ourselves to lose him.." Kanji could see the tears pricking at her eyes, and his own features softened, eyebrows furrowing. "...You were never quite the same after...I knew it, and there was never much I could do but let you try and sort out everything you were feeling on your own. Sometimes you've gone off the path a little, and everyone else has thought you were gone forever; but you never lost your way." She pulled a hand away to wipe a tear from her eyes, and Kanji suddenly couldn't look at her anymore. "No matter what anyone has ever said, you've always still been my little Kanji....Just now, I saw him again, that little boy that I'm still so proud of, even as he tries to find his way in the world. I just want you to know that, Kanji; that I'm so proud of you, and I love you."
Kanji bit down on his bottom lip, couldn't help the shuddering, deep breaths he had to take to keep himself composed.
"God...Ma, I....I know I ain't....Been the best kid....But...But I'm tryin', Ma, and...I love you. I love you a lot, Ma. I just..." His mother wrapped him into a tight hug, pulling him down to hug him comfortably.
"I know, Kanji. You're doing your best. That is all I will ever ask of you."
Re: Redemption, Termination (2.5/?)
anonymous
May 22 2012, 03:18:14 UTC
Kanji rubbed his reddened eyes as he lumbered up the stairs. He wasn't gonna cry; men didn't do that, even when their moms were involved. Even if they said such sentimental crap, and...
Pretty much were the best moms in the world that their piece of shit sons didn't deserve.
Kanji let out a deep sigh when he walked into his room, dark-colored, studded paraphernalia that he didn't care about contrasting greatly with pastel-colored, fluffy plush toys that he did. He sat down on his bed, hunching over as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Lots of shit had happened in the last few days, and really, the fact that he was handling it at all without....Flipping out, or something, was a miracle to him.
Despite being relatively calm, he picked up one of his pillows, a clean-smelling, cotton-soft, ruffled piece of his own creation that he generally hid under a black silk pillowcase, on the off chance anyone went into his room.
Not that the rest of the fluffy, cute shit wouldn't give you away.
Kanji frowned, tossing the pillow up and down experimentally in his hand. Raised an arm to launch it across the room; then frowned, brought it back, and cocked his head, examining the stitching.
"....One 'a my first creations." he mumbled softly, shaking his head. "...Stitching's kinda crap, all uneven, but I was so damn proud of it back then...'M so much better now." He sighed, laying back on his bed, with closed eyes.
They didn't stay closed long, however, before snapping wide open. He sat up, excitement in his eyes. Before he knew it, he was bounding down the stairs, two steps at a time, so noisily that his mother looked out of the kitchen in alarm from making their dinner.
"Kanji, what in the world is going on?"
"Nothing, Ma, nothing! Uh--Can I--Can I take some fabric and stuff from the store room?"
"Fabric? What f--Oh, my Kanji! You haven't sewn or knitted anything in quite some time! What is the occasion?"
"Ma, there ain't no--"
"Is it for the boy you're looking after in the hospital?"
"....Ma, why's there always gotta be an occas--"
"Ohhh, it is! Kanji, my darling, take as much as you'd like, sweetheart. Whatever you need! Oh, I know how deeply you get into your sewing once you've started, so I'll bring your dinner up to you when it's ready. But! It is a school night--"
"But Ma--!"
"Don't 'but mother' me, you're going, so I expect you to be in bed by eleven at the latest. Have fun, darling, and make your little friend something wonderful!"
Kanji shook his head in exasperation, closing the door to the storeroom behind him as the old light flickered on to illuminate the room. He leaned against the door, rolling his eyes in mock irritation, a smile gracing his features. Mothers.
He pushed himself off the door, and went to dig about through their stock.
Red, and blue, and some tan, a few buttons--Oh, a little gold bias tape never hurt anything, and I'm sure there's some cotton around here somewhere...
"Hm...Kanji...Kaaanji..." The boy seemed to roll the name off his tongue (testing it out?) and smiled to himself a little bit, just faintly; he even nodded, and Kanji felt as if he'd gained some all important seal of approval for...What, his name?
Either way, the boy wasn't flinching away from his outward appearance, and that, Kanji realized, was pretty bad for him, in a sense. He didn't dislike the kid or anything; he seemed alright, not the type he'd usually associate with. He was probably right around his age. Had to be only about fifteen or so. That was, in it's own way, terrifying. God, he was so scrawny, compared to Kanji, like the punk could break him just by touching him. When the boy sat up and leaned forward, appearing even smaller with his hospital gown hanging off of him, Kanji swore he could count the knobs of his spine running down his back through the fabric, and he had to sit down to keep from passing out as the room began to spin. Just sitting with someone in a hospital, someone so frail and thin was...Well. Claustrophobic. Hit too close to home for his tastes.
"Uh, well, Kanji.." Teddie's voice snapped him to focus, back into looking at the boy, who was staring at him intently. "Um!" The boy nodded, looked like he was trying to be perky, but his eyes had lost the bit of light from earlier and just looked so depressed again, as much as he tried to hide it. "Uh, if you're…Looking for someone, I could…Probably tell you...How to get to their room! Or, um, I could call in one of the nurses to help you go wherever you needed to go...!" Kanji startled, just slightly.
It was almost painful, watching the boy try to be so enthusiastic over helping him leave. Did...He even get many visitors? He'd only been here for a few minutes, and Kanji had the distinct feeling that, no, he didn't.
"Uh, no, I...Uh." Kanji cleared his throat. "I'm...I'm here to...Visit." he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head and idly fingering one of the rings on his ear nervously. He looked up, saw the forced confusion on Teddie's face, like he was trying not to get his hopes up and jump to conclusions. But the hope in his eyes couldn't be forced down, so obvious in the way Teddie never took his eyes off of him. Kanji bit his lip. "Uh. Visit you, y'know. Um. Small town, you know, you hear a lot of things," and Kanji swore the boy's face was changing right in front of him, growing brighter, those big blue eyes becoming lively again, like a spring rain washing the dirt away. He could almost tell what kind of mood the boy was in already just by how...
Kanji felt his cheeks heat up a little.
How beautiful he was.
Kanji shook his head quickly, even wanted to slap himself, and he was sure he was looking pretty red. No. No. He did not have....those kind of thoughts. Those...queer thoughts. Not here.
You shouldn't have them anywhere, his inner voice chided. You’re a man, damn it. Men don’t think like that.
"I just. Felt. You could use some...Company. Y'know?"
The boy just lit up, absolutely sparkled at that, and Kanji plopped his ass down in the bedside chair; that look, in itself, of unadulterated joy was practically worth being there.
However.
That seemed to be where the boy hit his social snag. The moment Kanji sat down, almost embraced his fate, Teddie clammed up.
It wasn’t like he lost immediate interest in the idea of someone visiting him; oh, no, Kanji could see that much. The boy was glowing, absolutely dazzling, becoming the new light source of the room, and Kanji almost felt like he needed sunglasses.
But he seemed so excited by the prospect of someone being there, so unused to the notion, that…He didn’t seem to know how to react. What to talk about. Was scared of screwing the chance up.
He has no clue how to connect to people.
He’s just like you.
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How the hell was Kanji supposed to even react to that?
He didn’t know how to connect to well-adjusted people on a normal basis. Not when they were so absorbed in their own life and own issues and talking about them that he didn’t need to put a word in.
But put him together with someone else who was so unused to interacting with people, and you got this suffocating cloud of awkward silence. Kanji found himself nervously flicking his eyes up towards the clock, and-
And when his eyes came back, back to Teddie, those excited ticks had gone, and the corners of his mouth were drooping downwards with disappointment.
He caught that, ya idiot. Will ya quit acting like such a fucking pansy and talk to him? Make him at least think ya wanna be there?
You’ll never get your damn paper signed at this rate.
Kanji cleared his throat. “Um. So. Teddie.” Teddie swallowed, seemed to bite his lip. Nodded to show he was listening, bright blue eyes wide with focus. “You. Uh. You…Like, anything?” Smooth, Tatsumi. You really are just the best at this 'socializing' shit.
“Um.” Teddie cocked his head in an almost exaggeratedly cartoon-like fashion, lips pursed, eyes rolled upwards to stare at the ceiling as he thought about it for a while. “I….Like animals!” he nodded enthusiastically, grinning, every motion of his an exaggeration, and Kanji couldn't help but wonder why. Why a teenager, so seemingly resigned to die when he thought no one was around, was such a kid the moment something happened to make his day worth living.
Kanji cracked a small smile, despite himself. He leaned forward; here was a topic he could talk about. Even if his inner voice told him not to because small animals weren't manly.
“Animals, huh?” he smiled a bit, and in his head, despite himself, had a mental notebook and pen poised at the ready. “Yeah? Well. I kin’a like animals too.” Teddie’s eyes lit up at that, widened to comical proportions, disappointment and wary vanishing now. He leaned forward excitedly, like they were sharing some great secret.
“R-really? What kind of animals?”
“Uh…” Kanji looked down, tapped his foot nervously a bit. Debated between what he wanted to say and what the manly thing to say might be. Decided, fuck, who cared, one way or another? “Well. I, uh, I really like. Rabbits. Bunnies, y'know." he looked down. "Cute, and....and fluffy and shit.” Teddie beamed at this, grinning so wide Kanji could see the pale, paper thin skin of his face folding into dimples at the motion, skin flushing with excitement to where he almost looked...Healthy.
And fuck, how the hell was he seriously sparkling?
“Bunnies! I love bunnies!” Teddie laughed, melodically, clapping his hands like it was the best thing he’d heard all year. “But! But! Bears are the best, don’t you think, Kanji?”
Kanji considered this for just a moment, let a grin pull at his own features, and soon he was nodding, too.
"Hah, yeah, bears 're pretty damn cute. Ha, and, I guess outta any animal, they'd be the beary best, huh?" he grinned, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. God, how cheesy ya gotta be, Tatsumi?
But Teddie seemed to take a much different reaction to that. He looked positively enchanted, and was practically bouncing up and down on his hospital bed, grinning ear to ear. Kanji laughed at that, and almost felt he should be calming Teddie down before he hurt himself.
"Ooo! Ooo! Puns! Puns! Me next! Haha! You sure managed to Kanjure a great Kanjecture, Kanji!" That had the two in stitches, laughing so hard they had tears streaming down their cheeks.
"Haha! Shit, I--God damn it Teddie, stop! I can't bear this anymore!"
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Teddie seemed to be in the same boat he was, laughing so hard his face was more red than an angry Morooka, tears making his cheeks glossy.
When he and Teddie were both calmer, now shaking with the after tremors and little giggles of a great laughing fit, he held up his hands, signalling a truce.
"Well..." he grinned, chuckling and panting just slightly. ".....abearently I am....Not!"
Their giggle fit begun anew, and it took the entrance of a nurse, curious about the source of the commotion, and some intense knuckle-biting to calm down.
"Now boys..." the nurse chuckled, shaking her head and glancing between the two of them with amusement and a great deal of relief--probably at seeing Teddie so happy. Kanji smiled, and for a moment he felt really proud of himself. "This is a hospital you know, and we'll need you to keep it down..."
The two teens looked between themselves with the guilty grins of children who really didn't feel bad at all for their mischief.
"Hehe...! Sorry miss Sayoko!"
"Heh...Yeah, sorry ma'am...Haha, guess we didn't really hear how loud we were gettin'."
The nurse only smiled and shook her head, not looking mad at all. "It's perfectly fine. Now, Teddie, it's time for your medicine--"
"Awwwww, but Sayoko-chaaaan..!"
"No buts, mister. Besides, it's probably time Tatsumi-kun gets on his way, isn't it?"
"Uh, yeah, s'pose--" Kanji glanced up at the wall clock, which he'd forgotten sometime in their little pun-off. "Shit, s'already been an hour? Man, time flies when you're uh, an' excuse me fer this one, when yer havin' pun." He grinned when Teddie buried his face in his pillow to contain his giggles. Reaching forward, he ruffled the boy's blond hair, who looked up from the pillow with flushed cheeks and the bluest, clearest eyes Kanji had ever seen.
Fuckin' beautiful.
"You'll come back and see me again, right Kanji?" Teddie beamed, and Kanji laughed, nodding his head.
"Yeah. I'll be back. Take yer meds and behave for the nurses, ya hear me?" Teddie chirped out a reply in response, and Kanji knew he was watching him all the way out the door.
The nurse followed him, seeing him out of the room, and called to Teddie that she'd be right back. Upon closing the door, she leaned against it with a small, odd little smile and her arms crossed over her clipboard, which she held to her chest. Those dark eyes of hers twinkled, and she cocked her head in a way that made her dark, glossy hair, pulled back into a small ponytail, bounce good-naturedly.
"I've been here for years," she said gently, then looked down, shaking her head. "and I have never seen Teddie quite so happy. I know why you're here and everything, but thank you, Tatsumi-kun." Kanji blushed a bit, looked down and even rubbed his head. He opened his mouth, ready to brush off the compliment, but Sayoko smiled that odd little smile of hers again, and cut him off. "If you're ever itching to make a little hospital visit... hours, I work late, you know, and, well, as for...Visiting hours....We make exceptions." She then opened the door, disappearing behind it, and as it closed with a slight click, Kanji shook his head, face flushing with embarrassment.
Weird ass nurse. Nice. But. Weird.
Kanji just smiled, shook his head, and threw his backpack over his shoulder as he took his leave, glad to put some distance between him and the hospital. Teddie made it pretty alright; but now, he just wanted to get out of here. Go home and wash off the smell of chemicals, and get a nice, warm dinner in his belly.
-----
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He could tell she'd been fretting about him going to do this, had worried he couldn't handle it, and now she was worried if he was okay. Kanji tried to reassure her with his best smile, and he found he didn't have to try and force it that much. The smile came easier and more true than it had in a long while, and he found himself unable to hold back a small grin.
That seemed to shock his mom slightly, whose mouth fell open just a bit; she cocked her head, narrowed her eyes, as if trying to read what exactly was going through her son's head. What had caused this change, exactly.
"Well....I....I'm really...Glad to hear it, Kanji....! I was...Really worried about you, you know." she admitted gently, and walked up to him. He towered over her small frame, more than a full head taller than her, and she had to reach up to place her thin, wrinkled hands on his cheeks. "You've had to grow up so fast, my little Kanji..." she said quietly.
"Ma...."
"I know it's been so hard for you, without your father around...We never could have prepared ourselves to lose him.." Kanji could see the tears pricking at her eyes, and his own features softened, eyebrows furrowing. "...You were never quite the same after...I knew it, and there was never much I could do but let you try and sort out everything you were feeling on your own. Sometimes you've gone off the path a little, and everyone else has thought you were gone forever; but you never lost your way." She pulled a hand away to wipe a tear from her eyes, and Kanji suddenly couldn't look at her anymore. "No matter what anyone has ever said, you've always still been my little Kanji....Just now, I saw him again, that little boy that I'm still so proud of, even as he tries to find his way in the world. I just want you to know that, Kanji; that I'm so proud of you, and I love you."
Kanji bit down on his bottom lip, couldn't help the shuddering, deep breaths he had to take to keep himself composed.
"God...Ma, I....I know I ain't....Been the best kid....But...But I'm tryin', Ma, and...I love you. I love you a lot, Ma. I just..." His mother wrapped him into a tight hug, pulling him down to hug him comfortably.
"I know, Kanji. You're doing your best. That is all I will ever ask of you."
---
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Pretty much were the best moms in the world that their piece of shit sons didn't deserve.
Kanji let out a deep sigh when he walked into his room, dark-colored, studded paraphernalia that he didn't care about contrasting greatly with pastel-colored, fluffy plush toys that he did. He sat down on his bed, hunching over as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Lots of shit had happened in the last few days, and really, the fact that he was handling it at all without....Flipping out, or something, was a miracle to him.
Despite being relatively calm, he picked up one of his pillows, a clean-smelling, cotton-soft, ruffled piece of his own creation that he generally hid under a black silk pillowcase, on the off chance anyone went into his room.
Not that the rest of the fluffy, cute shit wouldn't give you away.
Kanji frowned, tossing the pillow up and down experimentally in his hand. Raised an arm to launch it across the room; then frowned, brought it back, and cocked his head, examining the stitching.
"....One 'a my first creations." he mumbled softly, shaking his head. "...Stitching's kinda crap, all uneven, but I was so damn proud of it back then...'M so much better now." He sighed, laying back on his bed, with closed eyes.
They didn't stay closed long, however, before snapping wide open. He sat up, excitement in his eyes. Before he knew it, he was bounding down the stairs, two steps at a time, so noisily that his mother looked out of the kitchen in alarm from making their dinner.
"Kanji, what in the world is going on?"
"Nothing, Ma, nothing! Uh--Can I--Can I take some fabric and stuff from the store room?"
"Fabric? What f--Oh, my Kanji! You haven't sewn or knitted anything in quite some time! What is the occasion?"
"Ma, there ain't no--"
"Is it for the boy you're looking after in the hospital?"
"....Ma, why's there always gotta be an occas--"
"Ohhh, it is! Kanji, my darling, take as much as you'd like, sweetheart. Whatever you need! Oh, I know how deeply you get into your sewing once you've started, so I'll bring your dinner up to you when it's ready. But! It is a school night--"
"But Ma--!"
"Don't 'but mother' me, you're going, so I expect you to be in bed by eleven at the latest. Have fun, darling, and make your little friend something wonderful!"
Kanji shook his head in exasperation, closing the door to the storeroom behind him as the old light flickered on to illuminate the room. He leaned against the door, rolling his eyes in mock irritation, a smile gracing his features. Mothers.
He pushed himself off the door, and went to dig about through their stock.
Red, and blue, and some tan, a few buttons--Oh, a little gold bias tape never hurt anything, and I'm sure there's some cotton around here somewhere...
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Makes me think of that wonderful song.
You're doing great!
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