Rend thy Heart [7/??]
anonymous
March 31 2012, 23:25:17 UTC
-=====- [The video opened up with Adachi sitting in a chair. Dr. Inao across from him, unlike the other two previous videos, there wasn't any more nurse thanks to the fact Adachi kept slandering her, and they concluded it was only back pedaling to have her here. And now unlike the other fews videos about his past, it was just the patient and doctor now, not even guards or other nurses. Adachi had been well-behaved and requested it just be them alone and he would talk more.
"Adachi-san. Since you promised if it was just the two of us, I would like to know your feelings about everything. So you can honestly tell your thoughts. I will not pass judgment, obviously, I would not have gotten into this field if I did not think I could handle it professionally." He pushed up his glasses, and had his notepad out.
Adachi didn't even look up.
"Please Adachi-san. Just cooperate and it'll be done and over."
"I felt nothing for them."
"Any reason?" The doctor urged.
"They were just worthless bitches who begged to just be punished."
"I see." He seemed slightly amused. "Continue?"
Adachi just glanced up. A bit surprised that the doctor had just so casually accepted it rather than try to ask questions. The ball was in his park.
"That's pretty much it. I had my eyes on Mayumi-san and then on that Saki-bitch, since I had her cornered. I've been scorned plenty of times before, after all... well.. that's not important."
"Hm." A few moments passed. "I would like to know about those, if you would be kind enough to share?"
"Plenty of them, just rejection after another. As if they were too good for me, when they were the ones I was too good for." Adachi leaned back with a sour look. "I was transferred because a dumb bitch opened her mouth. No one really believed her, but she was the daughter of the chief." He shrugged. "The man took a liking to me as well, so he didn't really state the reason I was transferred. I don't think he could believe the stupid, bumbling Adachi Tohru could possibly have done anything, but it would cause problems otherwise."
"Have you done any other sort of assault on anyone or anything?" Dr. Iano pressed on.
The lanky man gave him a questioning look. "What, you mean me as some sick kid kicking puppies and the like? Nah." He gave a laugh.
"I was just wanting to clarify, not accuse you of anything."
"Heh. Not like I'm offended. After all," He waved his hand. "I'm a cop... or was. Had to deal with that sort of shit from little brats all the time."
"Hm. Well back to the victims. There was the kidnappings by your accomplice. Did you tell him who to get?"
He laughed, and started to sound like he was bragging. "The fool had called right after the Midnight Channel aired, showing that Amagi-bitch. I was in luck since I was working late-night and had answered the call. All I had to do was suggest that he'd be the one to save her. I figured he probably could do the same thing, if he could see the channel." He grinned. "And that's how the whole game began. He kidnapped her, she got rescued. He saw someone else on the channel, and he did it again and again."
Rend thy Heart [8/??]
anonymous
March 31 2012, 23:26:09 UTC
"So he was more a pawn?" It seemed he was asking questions less than a counseling and more toward an investigation. Not that Adachi cared.
"I did feel sorry for him, maybe a bit, he was so pathetic. After all, those two bitches were gold-digging on him. The man lost it all just because he went for his own carnal desires... Almost like I had." If he hadn't had an expression of amusement, it might of been seen as maybe some sympathy.
"The kidnappings weren't really planned by you?"
"No, not at all. I just gave him the push, and the midnight channel did the rest. All I did was watch in amusement. Like I said, I didn't care about any of those high school brats."
The doctor leaned forward. "You've said about the teens. What about the last kidnapped victim."
Adachi glared at him. There was a good amount of silence.
"Adachi-san?"
Adachi almost looked like he was seething.
"What about Dojima Nanako-san?"
"...."
"She was the daughter of your force-partner, correct? Dojima Ryotaro-san."
"I didn't want her involved. It wasn't meant to of happened..." He was now hutched over.
"This contradicts your earlier statements, Adachi-san. You had stated you felt nothing for any of the victims of murder or the kidnapped..." He sighed. "Though it's--"
And it was like a nail had been struck. Adachi jumped to his feet. "I DIDNT WANT THEM TO BE INVOLVED THAT FUCKING IDIOT NAMATAME WENT TOO FAR!"
"A-Adachi-san, please sit do-!!!!"
He had lunged over toward Dr. Iano, grabbing the collar of his coat. "THEY WERENT SUPPOSE TO BE INVOLVED. N-not Nanako-chan. And... not Dojima-san." The doctor had already pressed the button in his hand, as guards rushed in and restrained him. He was thrashing around, his face looked scared. "I DIDNT WANT THEM TO GET HURT! I--"
A shot was injected, and Adachi slumped down.]
Dojima left the post-it on that one. Not wanting to watch anymore. He had to digest this. This all confused him, here he thought that man he once felt happy to have company with was dead. But he showed out, even if in an frenzied stance.
It bothered him more than heartlessness of his other words.
Re: Rend thy Heart [8/??]
anonymous
April 1 2012, 08:50:13 UTC
Ah that was a quicker than expect update, which is really pleasing! I am enjoying this so much so far ;~; I love the attachment Adachi feels towards the Dojima family.
Ah Adachi you numbskull. If only you could have held off murdering those two ladies.
Rend thy Heart [9/??]
anonymous
April 2 2012, 02:21:05 UTC
((Or had gotten closer to them before hand, though that wasn't anyone's fault. He just like.. barely knew them when he had done his deeds. But yeah. Bad Adachi. ))
-=====-
Not wanting to neglect his daughter, he made sure to space out the times he went to watch the videos. They wouldn't let him take them home, obviously, so he had to watch them in there office. During the day he felt like his work was slipping. The station chief even started to comment about it. Just, his mind kept on everything that was said, that was learned, everything on his mind was about Adachi it seemed.
Ever since that video.
Nothing shook him quite badly before that. He heard of the miserable past, of the bullying, his abusive father, him being starved and only fed meager meals, his mother that had forced herself on him after his father left, his run in with almost death. Everything. He had distanced himself slightly from everything, but once he heard that... heard that he wasn't just someone who didn't feel.
His lunch breaks were now almost completely taken up by phone calls, wondering how Adachi was doing, his weight, his eating habits, everything. He had argued with the doctor over and over about it. The Dr. Inao kept trying to persuade him that he should just leave it to those who had schooled in the field and to stop obviously stressing about it.
But how could he? After the video he had hesitated in actually visiting Adachi. But he did visit, and ever since that visit... he didn't know what to think.
~~~~~ (Flashback:)
"Hey Adachi... I brought you some Uni-Sushi this time." He held up a bento box.
Adachi was seemly getting better, at least around Dojima. The videos proved otherwise. He was just as harsh as ever around the doctor.
Dojima had a few rough visits before Adachi finally just stopped basically being an asshole. There was plenty of other worrisome behaviors. Dojima felt a kick in the chest each time he witnessed the moments where Adachi just seemed hollow. He fully believed both Souji and Adachi-- that this thing called a Persona had been torn from him, leaving him broken. Souji explained it, over the phone one night, that it had been a terrible sight, and he had even worried that he had killed him.
"Thank you, Dojima-san." The man was definably skinnier. They tried their best to get him to eat, but he just wouldn't. Dojima tried to voice his concern, and felt guilty as he basically had been used to guilt Adachi into eating.
Sitting down on the L-shaped couch, Dojima watched as the man's hands shook as he got his chopsticks and bit into the sushi. Expressionless still, he looked over to Dojima, his eyes showing a hidden smile.
"Heh. They won't let me bring you any booze, so I figured I'd get the next best thing." He gave a lighthearted smirk.
Quietly, Adachi ate the food as Dojima just told him about the days going by, outside news in the world, and interesting movies and shows. They had begun also playing Poker in all its variations, it brought out the Adachi he used to know at times.
Rend thy Heart [10/??]
anonymous
April 2 2012, 02:23:01 UTC
"Nanako's been doing good too." He placed down Two Pair as he saw Adachi's Straight Flush. Apparently this guy had a luck for cards he's been hiding all this time. "Ah right, she said to say that she misses you, and hopes to be able to see you sometime, I just don't really know what to tell her."
There was a spot of water on the cards.
"A-Adachi?"
More spots.
Adachi's shoulders were now shaking.
"H-Hey.. Adachi.. what's w---"
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry.." Adachi slowly started to curl up, clenching onto his head. "I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry..."
"What's gotten into you?!" Dojima instinctively reached over, and a moment too late realized it could be a dangerous thing, that he could set him off into a violent outburst from feeling as though Dojima might be attacking him.
But that didn't happen.
In fact, he wish it had.
Adachi turned toward him and grabbed his arm, clinging to him like a small child. Repeating his apology over and over. "What are you saying it for, Adachi.. I .. I..." He bit his lip, he felt uneasy having a grown man crying on him, even moreso it was someone he never thought would, not after everything.
"Nanako-chan... I... My fucking stupid... I almost... She almost... di--.." He broke into a harsh sob, leaning his head now onto Dojima's shoulder. "...I couldn't... I never wanted... either of you..." He gasped for breath between the tears. "To get caught up... N-Not...Not more than you had to be... I.. I..."
Dojima's heart was being torn up. Here was someone the entire town now hated, hell the world probably with the news, apologizing and showing grief. He didn't know what to do, but he let Adachi stay on him, placing his hand on Adachi's hair, and almost petting him, in small movements.
Adachi only cried harder. It was hard to hear what he said, but Dojima knew. He would be blind not to see it and deaf not to hear it within his heart. He did the only thing he could think of, wordlessly holding him tight as if he was a scared child. And they stayed like that for the rest of their time together.
Rend thy Heart [11/??]
anonymous
April 3 2012, 02:43:03 UTC
(( Adachi-baby is a tiny bit broken. *patpat* ))
-=====-
A few weeks went by since the visit. His visits were shorter. Adachi always excused himself of feeling tired about after a hour and a half, would tell Dojima goodnight, and leave the room. Nothing was ever said about the visit where Adachi had broken down.
It had been one of the days that he was going to go for a few hours to visit Adachi. Nanako had been very understanding, he couldn't be luckier to have such a daughter, she just told him to please make sure he was eating, and staying healthy. And always told him to say that she said hello and she missed Adachi-san. Of course, he never really told Adachi. He couldn't handle another breakdown from the man. He didn't know what to do, he never had to comfort anyone other than his wife and his daughter, and even then he felt like he did a poor job.
He called ahead as always.
"Ah Dojima-san."
"You sound like you're happy to hear from me... almost."
"I feel we're almost best friends with how much we talk now."
"Cut the crap, Doc."
"Yes, yes. Well I am assuming you are calling ahead for a face-to-face visit as always?"
"Yeah."
"Hmm.. Well Adachi-san is ill."
"W-what do you mean? He's got the flu or--"
"Just a cold and fever. Though as procedure, we do not want to put stress even by the slightest as patients tend to be worse when feeling under the weather. I suppose your visit is in good timing, maybe it might make him recover faster. He has been complaining about being bored since he cannot do any of the therapeutic activities."
"I see. Well, then I'll be right over there."
"Understood. Goodbye." The click in his ear. The doctor had bad phone manners, but I suppose they had pushed past the professional talking by now. It had been, what, four months? It felt longer. Or shorter. He wasn't exactly sure with the time anymore.
He was lead to Adachi's actual boarding room. It had been the first time he was taken down those halls, it was quite eerie. Moans and groans, some crashing, there was all sorts of noises going through some of the wards. No wonder they seemed to have such a stone-heart staff. His eye caught a name as he walked passed it, Namatame Taro . It would be best probably not to mention that, he hadn't even paid attention what happened to that man. It only made sense though, after what he heard from Souji. From...Adachi's videos.
"Here's for an emergency," The nurse pulled out the black rectangle with a small red button, just like he'd seen Dr. Iano use. "Just press it if anything happens, we'll come running. But just keep it hidden alright? There are also emergency buttons in the room, but normally that's patient use and doesn't call the guards." He opened the door for Dojima.
Rend thy Heart [12/??]
anonymous
April 3 2012, 02:43:41 UTC
Adachi was leaning back on pillows in the bed, staring out the reinforced window. In his hand as a white mug, probably with tea. There were a few books next to him on the nightstand as well. The only other thing was a desk and a closet. The room itself seemed pretty empty.
His head rolled over to see who just came in. Dojima's heart clenched again, those eyes. But in an instant, the eyes softened. Adachi sat up quickly, spilling what indeed was green tea on the sheets. "Ah shit!"
It broke the tension, Dojima just laughed as he went to the sink and grabbed the hand towel off the side of it. He approached Adachi with a smile. "Hey now. Don't get up so fast, I heard you had some cold." He patted the area, soaking up the spill. Adachi just watched him.
"I..I didn't expect a visitor." Under his eyes, there were dark, sunken in skin. He closed his eyes, making them even more apparent. "Thought it was another nurse just coming in to bother me."
"Hnnn. Well I am sorry to disappoint you."
"I...I didn't mean I didn't want to..." Adachi took a moment to realize that Dojima was joking. "Maybe I wouldn't be so disappointed if you came wearing the uniform."
The statement only made Dojima raise his eyebrows. This was feeling quite... weird. Caulking it up to him being sick, he thought he'd just humor him. Adachi had been sullen for quite a while now, it was a good turn of emotion. "I'll keep that in mind for next time. Do you want me to wear the hat as well?" He threw the towel toward the heap that was gathering under the sink.
Adachi just snapped a somewhat disgusted expression at him. "That's just creepy hearing you joke about it, Dojima-san." The look melted into amusement.
Dojima just shook his head. Seemed like this visit was going to be one of the better ones. Sometimes, Adachi was just so hollow and wordless, other times, he was afraid he would start crying again. These were the visits he looked forward too, just two men joking around as if nothing was wrong. Rolling up his sleeves, he grabbed the desk's chair and brought it up to Adachi's bedside, taking out the deck of cards from his shirt pocket. His cigarettes were back in the car.
"You're going to play against a sick man?" He gave Dojima a disapproving look.
"Bullshit. I bet you'll still somehow fish out the cards you need." The joker cards were discarded.
Adachi gave out a poutful noise. "Are you saying I cheat?"
"I didn't say that." He grabbed Adachi's mug from his hand and set it down as he replaced it with the dealt cards. "I just am glad I never bet on a game between us."
Re: Rend thy Heart [12/??]
anonymous
April 4 2012, 02:46:26 UTC
I absolutely had to come out of lurking to say how much I'm enjoying this, writer!anon! I get so excited when I see this fill has been updated. Keep up the excellent writing. ;u;
Rend thy Heart [13/??]
anonymous
April 4 2012, 09:00:57 UTC
"Hmm.. Maybe you should have, maybe would have eaten a bit better...Though..." Adachi smiled at him, almost... sweetly. "I always enjoyed eating at your house the most..."
"Haha.. And Adachi, just Dojima. I keep telling you that. I'm not your superior anymore. Not your co-worker, not a guy you need to be polite too. I consider myself to be your pal, and likewise." Those words almosted sounded like they were trying to convince Dojima, himself, not Adachi. He tried to push that to the back of his head. There was a quick change in Adachi's eyes, but they fell back to a smile.
They played a bit, it rolling into Dojima telling him about news both locally and worldwide, and about the workplace and how someone had accidently shreaded important files. He started to feel nervous, though, it was reminding him of the time that Adachi had become a mess of apologizes and tears.
"You seem like you are in deep thought, Dojima-san."
It snapped him out of his worry. "Ah sorry, I guess I've been a bit more tired lately too."
"...You do look like you've lost weight."
Shit, even Adachi noticed. "It's good for an old man like me not to be gaining a beer gut though, right?"
Adachi just stood silent, folding down his cards on his lap. Reaching over, he took Dojima's wrist. "I-it's not because of me... Is it?"
There was no way to stop the surprised expression Dojima involuntary had flashed across his face. But those eyes were now boring into him. They seemed so intense. "...No.. Just a bit of stress. You remember work."
But he didn't seem happy with the answer, that was apparent. "Yeah." He let go of Dojima's wrist. "Just... take care of yourself. Alright? You've always been stubborn about your health ever since I met you..." A weak smile. The voice sounded like it held something in it, weighing it.
"This coming from the man who actually has the cold?" He dealt out another hand. The card game had changed to Texas Hold Em, a few rounds ago. They both should be paying more attention if they actually cared about the game. He didn't want things to turn so serious, but he didn't want to just... derail away, making Adachi feel as though he was getting ignored.
Just... everything with these visits. He began to understand the man across from him, beyond the criminal, beyond the co-worker, beyond just a buddy who came over. He was the only one that cared. This man had no one else. Was that the only reason why he was always coming here? No. He did honestly care, he knew that much. He wasn't heartless.
"You're looking quite serious for someone who was joking."
Eyes met.
"Just... Thinking. Don't worry about it." He gave up, placing the cards down though. Knowing well from past experience that playing any more was out of the question.
"Why do you visit?"
The question he didn't want to hear. He had no idea how to answer it in a way that would keep Adachi from asking it again. Partly, he was worried about the truth coming out from Adachi's mouth, understanding and reading him better than he could every understand himself. To think that at one time, he felt the slender guy before him was just a simple thinking guy.
"Dojima?" Right, he had told Adachi to just drop the honorific. But it was the first time he ever actually listened.
He ran his hand through his hair on the side. "I've told you this already, Adachi. You're a good pal. There's more to you than you let the world know... a..and I don't mean that you." A long sigh. "Why do you have to question it every-so-often?"
Adachi just grabbed the mug he had refilled a good few moments ago, bringing it up to his lips and reeling slightly back as cold tea hit his mouth. He set it down. "I have a hard time believing."
"Well what the hell do you want me to say or do to make you?" Trying to keep his calm, keep it down, just try not to get worked up because he's striking a nerve. He's not feeling well, he probably doesn't realize what he's doing. He took a deep breath, "Look.. sor--"
Rend thy Heart [14/??]
anonymous
April 4 2012, 09:01:40 UTC
"No." Adachi was sitting up. Brows were furrowed, the sides of his mouth turned down and taut, "You want to prove to me? Prove that you trust me." The voice was harsh.
Fucking hell. He didn't want to play mindgames with him. "Adachi. You're not thinking right now, just relax, if I'm upsetting you I can lea--"
"You're running away."
Dojima winced as it hit right on the spot. "No. I am trying to just make sure you don't--"
"Fly off the handle? Go insane? Do something rash?"
This wasn't the Adachi he's been visiting. He hadn't seen this side of him since he was still back in jail. "Adachi..." He gave a warning tone.
"What? I am speaking the truth aren't I? Every day in here feels like hell. When you don't come here, I..." He cut himself short. Dojima didn't give chase.
A gritting of teeth. "...What do you want me to do to show you that you are wrong. That I trust you. I've been coming here, they let me in this room, without guards, without walls. We sit together by ourselves and talk. What else?"
"Guards are always at the doors. And..." He pulled out the familiar black rectangle. "There are these as well. Don't think I didn't hear that male nurse." It was unnerving. Here after all this time, that side of him still was there. "I want you to give me yours."
The hair on the back of his neck started to feel as though it prickled to the end. "Wh-what?" He his hand toward Adachi, getting flared up and gesturing. "Why- What ... GRAH FINE." Shoving his hand into his pocket he took it out, and flung it over to Adachi. He needed to cool down, so he went to the sink and splashed water on his face, not caring or giving mind what Adachi was thinking of his reactions.
Not a sound was made from the man behind him. Pressing the towel on his face, he turned around, the cold water had helped a bit. "I see your temper isn't any better Dojima."
"Not when I'm getting mind games, of course not." He crossed his arms.
"Come over here."
"Why?"
"Still not convinced. You did that out of anger."
"Adachi. I am godda-"
"Humor me."
Dojima stomped over to the bed. Peering down at Adachi. Only thinking about how much of a child Adachi was being at this moment.
Without word, Adachi's had struck out and grabbed Dojima's collar and yanked, catching Dojima offguard and offbalance as he pulled him down and placed his hand on the side of Dojima's neck. They were face to face, both trying to read each other's eyes. The moment was tense, all self-control was used to keep from the older man raising his hands at that moment, and pulling away. Now, his hands were gripped the sheets, waiting for whatever was to be done.
The hand slid toward the back of his neck, while he felt the other let go of his collar, sliding around to meet the hand, as they wrapped around, bringing Dojima further toward Adachi as the younger man rested his head on his arm. "...Thank you." And he let go.
The older man just... stayed there. Unsure.
Slowly, he pushed on his arms to get himself to upright, his back slightly feeling stiff now. In the patient's hand, the black button was there, offering it back to Dojima. He brought his hand up to Adachi's, and just pushed it away.
"Keep it. I don't need it when I'm visiting someone who trusts me as well."
Dojima sat back down on the chair, gathering up the cards. "Ah.. You had a shitty hand. Next time just say you fold."
Rend thy Heart [15/??]
anonymous
April 8 2012, 10:34:45 UTC
-=====-
Their visits started to lean toward more friendly, more comfortable with each other despite the few after that had both of them on eggshells. The recent visit he was driving back from left him thinking. He had asked Adachi to tell him about his life, about his past. That he wanted to understand him better.
"No, Dojima." A pained expression. "I don't want you to really know...not yet at least..."
His heart had clenched. He already knew. And he felt as though he betrayed Adachi, after all the trust they displayed each other during these visits, how close that had gotten. "...I'll wait until you are ready." He felt so hollow after those words. They were bitter like stale bile in his throat.
"...I would like to know about you though. About your life."
Dojima just nodded, not even giving rise to it was odd to have someone request this, not even Chisato had. When they did talk about their lives, it just had come up but never a request. He felt like he owed Adachi, for having heard his life behind his back. It wasn't like he had anything terrible to really hide. His growing up wasn't... wasn't Adachi's. Anywhere near it. At all. The guilt made him pour out everything.
So, he told Adachi about his life. When he was young as he could remember, his parents, his sister. The trouble he had in school at times with being stubborn. His Highschool years. How much he didn't want his sister to marry this one guy, and yet she did, and they had Souji. He saw Souji only as a small baby, and from then on, seemed like her and her husband were just too busy, with very few phone-calls. And then he tapped on the work aspect of his life: When he decided to get into the Force, how much trouble it had been, his first arrest, interesting points in the job...
"Why'd you stop there?" He tilted his head, sipping at the water cup.
"Hnn..." Dojima clenched his jaw, eyes falling from their connection.
Adachi just leaned forward, "I want to hear everything, Nanako included..." He looked so serious. "Please don't stop." The sincerity in his voice surprised Dojima, and he just nodded and continued.
"I met Chisato on.. "
The entire time, Adachi just sat there and listened to him. He questioned, getting clarification, making small jokes. Not bored. But he genuinely seemed interested in knowing Dojima better. Honestly, that touched him. The fact someone had requested, and kept urging him on, rather than just politely sitting back and waiting for him to just talk. That someone just really had wanted to know.
Adachi wouldn't let him stop, not until he heard a summary up until his appearance. Even then, he wanted to know what went on. So Dojima told him about how Souji basically gave him a verbal slap in the face, as well as Nanako, about how bad a father he had been.
"I don't blame you. The fact she was the very reminder of... your late wife. Of course it would be hard. And of course you'd feel guilt." Adachi smiled at him, warmly in fact. "You're... a true man. Admitting to your fault. And trying to fix it... er... actually fixing it really." He gave out a nervous laugh. A laugh that had guilt in it.
"Hmph." Dojima just snorted out air in a mild laugh. "A bit late though. I should have done it sooner."
The dark eyes just bore into him. "But you did it, Dojima. You did it before any damage could be done."
Closing his eyes, he gave a nod in a silent agreement. Opening them, he matched the eyes. "...You've done your own good too." A raised eyebrow in response. Adachi was thinking, it was obvious. So Dojima just volunteered, he wasn't playing a guessing game. "It wasn't until you became my partner, that I had begun to laugh again since Chisato's...passing on." The corners of his mouth rose, only slightly.
Adachi sat there, unsure of what to think or how to handle the statement. Dojima swore the man had rosed on his cheeks, his mouth slightly open in disbelief. Dojima just reached over and patted Adachi on the shoulder, getting up to go.
"And you were there to my drunk ass home." His hand returned to Adachi's shoulder, and he gave it a firm squeeze. "Thank you, Adachi." A pause. "I guess I'll see you again soon. Please take care of yourself."
The older man left... And a single tear hit the back of Adachi's hand.
[The video opened up with Adachi sitting in a chair. Dr. Inao across from him, unlike the other two previous videos, there wasn't any more nurse thanks to the fact Adachi kept slandering her, and they concluded it was only back pedaling to have her here. And now unlike the other fews videos about his past, it was just the patient and doctor now, not even guards or other nurses. Adachi had been well-behaved and requested it just be them alone and he would talk more.
"Adachi-san. Since you promised if it was just the two of us, I would like to know your feelings about everything. So you can honestly tell your thoughts. I will not pass judgment, obviously, I would not have gotten into this field if I did not think I could handle it professionally." He pushed up his glasses, and had his notepad out.
Adachi didn't even look up.
"Please Adachi-san. Just cooperate and it'll be done and over."
"I felt nothing for them."
"Any reason?" The doctor urged.
"They were just worthless bitches who begged to just be punished."
"I see." He seemed slightly amused. "Continue?"
Adachi just glanced up. A bit surprised that the doctor had just so casually accepted it rather than try to ask questions. The ball was in his park.
"That's pretty much it. I had my eyes on Mayumi-san and then on that Saki-bitch, since I had her cornered. I've been scorned plenty of times before, after all... well.. that's not important."
"Hm." A few moments passed. "I would like to know about those, if you would be kind enough to share?"
"Plenty of them, just rejection after another. As if they were too good for me, when they were the ones I was too good for." Adachi leaned back with a sour look. "I was transferred because a dumb bitch opened her mouth. No one really believed her, but she was the daughter of the chief." He shrugged. "The man took a liking to me as well, so he didn't really state the reason I was transferred. I don't think he could believe the stupid, bumbling Adachi Tohru could possibly have done anything, but it would cause problems otherwise."
"Have you done any other sort of assault on anyone or anything?" Dr. Iano pressed on.
The lanky man gave him a questioning look. "What, you mean me as some sick kid kicking puppies and the like? Nah." He gave a laugh.
"I was just wanting to clarify, not accuse you of anything."
"Heh. Not like I'm offended. After all," He waved his hand. "I'm a cop... or was. Had to deal with that sort of shit from little brats all the time."
"Hm. Well back to the victims. There was the kidnappings by your accomplice. Did you tell him who to get?"
He laughed, and started to sound like he was bragging. "The fool had called right after the Midnight Channel aired, showing that Amagi-bitch. I was in luck since I was working late-night and had answered the call. All I had to do was suggest that he'd be the one to save her. I figured he probably could do the same thing, if he could see the channel." He grinned. "And that's how the whole game began. He kidnapped her, she got rescued. He saw someone else on the channel, and he did it again and again."
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"I did feel sorry for him, maybe a bit, he was so pathetic. After all, those two bitches were gold-digging on him. The man lost it all just because he went for his own carnal desires... Almost like I had." If he hadn't had an expression of amusement, it might of been seen as maybe some sympathy.
"The kidnappings weren't really planned by you?"
"No, not at all. I just gave him the push, and the midnight channel did the rest. All I did was watch in amusement. Like I said, I didn't care about any of those high school brats."
The doctor leaned forward. "You've said about the teens. What about the last kidnapped victim."
Adachi glared at him. There was a good amount of silence.
"Adachi-san?"
Adachi almost looked like he was seething.
"What about Dojima Nanako-san?"
"...."
"She was the daughter of your force-partner, correct? Dojima Ryotaro-san."
"I didn't want her involved. It wasn't meant to of happened..." He was now hutched over.
"This contradicts your earlier statements, Adachi-san. You had stated you felt nothing for any of the victims of murder or the kidnapped..." He sighed. "Though it's--"
And it was like a nail had been struck. Adachi jumped to his feet. "I DIDNT WANT THEM TO BE INVOLVED THAT FUCKING IDIOT NAMATAME WENT TOO FAR!"
"A-Adachi-san, please sit do-!!!!"
He had lunged over toward Dr. Iano, grabbing the collar of his coat. "THEY WERENT SUPPOSE TO BE INVOLVED. N-not Nanako-chan. And... not Dojima-san." The doctor had already pressed the button in his hand, as guards rushed in and restrained him. He was thrashing around, his face looked scared. "I DIDNT WANT THEM TO GET HURT! I--"
A shot was injected, and Adachi slumped down.]
Dojima left the post-it on that one. Not wanting to watch anymore. He had to digest this. This all confused him, here he thought that man he once felt happy to have company with was dead. But he showed out, even if in an frenzied stance.
It bothered him more than heartlessness of his other words.
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Ah Adachi you numbskull. If only you could have held off murdering those two ladies.
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-=====-
Not wanting to neglect his daughter, he made sure to space out the times he went to watch the videos. They wouldn't let him take them home, obviously, so he had to watch them in there office. During the day he felt like his work was slipping. The station chief even started to comment about it. Just, his mind kept on everything that was said, that was learned, everything on his mind was about Adachi it seemed.
Ever since that video.
Nothing shook him quite badly before that. He heard of the miserable past, of the bullying, his abusive father, him being starved and only fed meager meals, his mother that had forced herself on him after his father left, his run in with almost death. Everything. He had distanced himself slightly from everything, but once he heard that... heard that he wasn't just someone who didn't feel.
His lunch breaks were now almost completely taken up by phone calls, wondering how Adachi was doing, his weight, his eating habits, everything. He had argued with the doctor over and over about it. The Dr. Inao kept trying to persuade him that he should just leave it to those who had schooled in the field and to stop obviously stressing about it.
But how could he? After the video he had hesitated in actually visiting Adachi. But he did visit, and ever since that visit... he didn't know what to think.
~~~~~
(Flashback:)
"Hey Adachi... I brought you some Uni-Sushi this time." He held up a bento box.
Adachi was seemly getting better, at least around Dojima. The videos proved otherwise. He was just as harsh as ever around the doctor.
Dojima had a few rough visits before Adachi finally just stopped basically being an asshole. There was plenty of other worrisome behaviors. Dojima felt a kick in the chest each time he witnessed the moments where Adachi just seemed hollow. He fully believed both Souji and Adachi-- that this thing called a Persona had been torn from him, leaving him broken. Souji explained it, over the phone one night, that it had been a terrible sight, and he had even worried that he had killed him.
"Thank you, Dojima-san." The man was definably skinnier. They tried their best to get him to eat, but he just wouldn't. Dojima tried to voice his concern, and felt guilty as he basically had been used to guilt Adachi into eating.
Sitting down on the L-shaped couch, Dojima watched as the man's hands shook as he got his chopsticks and bit into the sushi. Expressionless still, he looked over to Dojima, his eyes showing a hidden smile.
"Heh. They won't let me bring you any booze, so I figured I'd get the next best thing." He gave a lighthearted smirk.
Quietly, Adachi ate the food as Dojima just told him about the days going by, outside news in the world, and interesting movies and shows. They had begun also playing Poker in all its variations, it brought out the Adachi he used to know at times.
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There was a spot of water on the cards.
"A-Adachi?"
More spots.
Adachi's shoulders were now shaking.
"H-Hey.. Adachi.. what's w---"
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry.." Adachi slowly started to curl up, clenching onto his head. "I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry..."
"What's gotten into you?!" Dojima instinctively reached over, and a moment too late realized it could be a dangerous thing, that he could set him off into a violent outburst from feeling as though Dojima might be attacking him.
But that didn't happen.
In fact, he wish it had.
Adachi turned toward him and grabbed his arm, clinging to him like a small child. Repeating his apology over and over. "What are you saying it for, Adachi.. I .. I..." He bit his lip, he felt uneasy having a grown man crying on him, even moreso it was someone he never thought would, not after everything.
"Nanako-chan... I... My fucking stupid... I almost... She almost... di--.." He broke into a harsh sob, leaning his head now onto Dojima's shoulder. "...I couldn't... I never wanted... either of you..." He gasped for breath between the tears. "To get caught up... N-Not...Not more than you had to be... I.. I..."
Dojima's heart was being torn up. Here was someone the entire town now hated, hell the world probably with the news, apologizing and showing grief. He didn't know what to do, but he let Adachi stay on him, placing his hand on Adachi's hair, and almost petting him, in small movements.
Adachi only cried harder. It was hard to hear what he said, but Dojima knew. He would be blind not to see it and deaf not to hear it within his heart. He did the only thing he could think of, wordlessly holding him tight as if he was a scared child. And they stayed like that for the rest of their time together.
(Flashback end)
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-=====-
A few weeks went by since the visit. His visits were shorter. Adachi always excused himself of feeling tired about after a hour and a half, would tell Dojima goodnight, and leave the room. Nothing was ever said about the visit where Adachi had broken down.
It had been one of the days that he was going to go for a few hours to visit Adachi. Nanako had been very understanding, he couldn't be luckier to have such a daughter, she just told him to please make sure he was eating, and staying healthy. And always told him to say that she said hello and she missed Adachi-san. Of course, he never really told Adachi. He couldn't handle another breakdown from the man. He didn't know what to do, he never had to comfort anyone other than his wife and his daughter, and even then he felt like he did a poor job.
He called ahead as always.
"Ah Dojima-san."
"You sound like you're happy to hear from me... almost."
"I feel we're almost best friends with how much we talk now."
"Cut the crap, Doc."
"Yes, yes. Well I am assuming you are calling ahead for a face-to-face visit as always?"
"Yeah."
"Hmm.. Well Adachi-san is ill."
"W-what do you mean? He's got the flu or--"
"Just a cold and fever. Though as procedure, we do not want to put stress even by the slightest as patients tend to be worse when feeling under the weather. I suppose your visit is in good timing, maybe it might make him recover faster. He has been complaining about being bored since he cannot do any of the therapeutic activities."
"I see. Well, then I'll be right over there."
"Understood. Goodbye." The click in his ear. The doctor had bad phone manners, but I suppose they had pushed past the professional talking by now. It had been, what, four months? It felt longer. Or shorter. He wasn't exactly sure with the time anymore.
He was lead to Adachi's actual boarding room. It had been the first time he was taken down those halls, it was quite eerie. Moans and groans, some crashing, there was all sorts of noises going through some of the wards. No wonder they seemed to have such a stone-heart staff. His eye caught a name as he walked passed it, Namatame Taro . It would be best probably not to mention that, he hadn't even paid attention what happened to that man. It only made sense though, after what he heard from Souji. From...Adachi's videos.
"Here's for an emergency," The nurse pulled out the black rectangle with a small red button, just like he'd seen Dr. Iano use. "Just press it if anything happens, we'll come running. But just keep it hidden alright? There are also emergency buttons in the room, but normally that's patient use and doesn't call the guards." He opened the door for Dojima.
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His head rolled over to see who just came in. Dojima's heart clenched again, those eyes. But in an instant, the eyes softened. Adachi sat up quickly, spilling what indeed was green tea on the sheets. "Ah shit!"
It broke the tension, Dojima just laughed as he went to the sink and grabbed the hand towel off the side of it. He approached Adachi with a smile. "Hey now. Don't get up so fast, I heard you had some cold." He patted the area, soaking up the spill. Adachi just watched him.
"I..I didn't expect a visitor." Under his eyes, there were dark, sunken in skin. He closed his eyes, making them even more apparent. "Thought it was another nurse just coming in to bother me."
"Hnnn. Well I am sorry to disappoint you."
"I...I didn't mean I didn't want to..." Adachi took a moment to realize that Dojima was joking. "Maybe I wouldn't be so disappointed if you came wearing the uniform."
The statement only made Dojima raise his eyebrows. This was feeling quite... weird. Caulking it up to him being sick, he thought he'd just humor him. Adachi had been sullen for quite a while now, it was a good turn of emotion. "I'll keep that in mind for next time. Do you want me to wear the hat as well?" He threw the towel toward the heap that was gathering under the sink.
Adachi just snapped a somewhat disgusted expression at him. "That's just creepy hearing you joke about it, Dojima-san." The look melted into amusement.
Dojima just shook his head. Seemed like this visit was going to be one of the better ones. Sometimes, Adachi was just so hollow and wordless, other times, he was afraid he would start crying again. These were the visits he looked forward too, just two men joking around as if nothing was wrong. Rolling up his sleeves, he grabbed the desk's chair and brought it up to Adachi's bedside, taking out the deck of cards from his shirt pocket. His cigarettes were back in the car.
"You're going to play against a sick man?" He gave Dojima a disapproving look.
"Bullshit. I bet you'll still somehow fish out the cards you need." The joker cards were discarded.
Adachi gave out a poutful noise. "Are you saying I cheat?"
"I didn't say that." He grabbed Adachi's mug from his hand and set it down as he replaced it with the dealt cards. "I just am glad I never bet on a game between us."
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Reading this makes me super happy~
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"Haha.. And Adachi, just Dojima. I keep telling you that. I'm not your superior anymore. Not your co-worker, not a guy you need to be polite too. I consider myself to be your pal, and likewise." Those words almosted sounded like they were trying to convince Dojima, himself, not Adachi. He tried to push that to the back of his head. There was a quick change in Adachi's eyes, but they fell back to a smile.
They played a bit, it rolling into Dojima telling him about news both locally and worldwide, and about the workplace and how someone had accidently shreaded important files. He started to feel nervous, though, it was reminding him of the time that Adachi had become a mess of apologizes and tears.
"You seem like you are in deep thought, Dojima-san."
It snapped him out of his worry. "Ah sorry, I guess I've been a bit more tired lately too."
"...You do look like you've lost weight."
Shit, even Adachi noticed. "It's good for an old man like me not to be gaining a beer gut though, right?"
Adachi just stood silent, folding down his cards on his lap. Reaching over, he took Dojima's wrist. "I-it's not because of me... Is it?"
There was no way to stop the surprised expression Dojima involuntary had flashed across his face. But those eyes were now boring into him. They seemed so intense. "...No.. Just a bit of stress. You remember work."
But he didn't seem happy with the answer, that was apparent. "Yeah." He let go of Dojima's wrist. "Just... take care of yourself. Alright? You've always been stubborn about your health ever since I met you..." A weak smile. The voice sounded like it held something in it, weighing it.
"This coming from the man who actually has the cold?" He dealt out another hand. The card game had changed to Texas Hold Em, a few rounds ago. They both should be paying more attention if they actually cared about the game. He didn't want things to turn so serious, but he didn't want to just... derail away, making Adachi feel as though he was getting ignored.
Just... everything with these visits. He began to understand the man across from him, beyond the criminal, beyond the co-worker, beyond just a buddy who came over. He was the only one that cared. This man had no one else. Was that the only reason why he was always coming here? No. He did honestly care, he knew that much. He wasn't heartless.
"You're looking quite serious for someone who was joking."
Eyes met.
"Just... Thinking. Don't worry about it." He gave up, placing the cards down though. Knowing well from past experience that playing any more was out of the question.
"Why do you visit?"
The question he didn't want to hear. He had no idea how to answer it in a way that would keep Adachi from asking it again. Partly, he was worried about the truth coming out from Adachi's mouth, understanding and reading him better than he could every understand himself. To think that at one time, he felt the slender guy before him was just a simple thinking guy.
"Dojima?" Right, he had told Adachi to just drop the honorific. But it was the first time he ever actually listened.
He ran his hand through his hair on the side. "I've told you this already, Adachi. You're a good pal. There's more to you than you let the world know... a..and I don't mean that you." A long sigh. "Why do you have to question it every-so-often?"
Adachi just grabbed the mug he had refilled a good few moments ago, bringing it up to his lips and reeling slightly back as cold tea hit his mouth. He set it down. "I have a hard time believing."
"Well what the hell do you want me to say or do to make you?" Trying to keep his calm, keep it down, just try not to get worked up because he's striking a nerve. He's not feeling well, he probably doesn't realize what he's doing. He took a deep breath, "Look.. sor--"
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Fucking hell. He didn't want to play mindgames with him. "Adachi. You're not thinking right now, just relax, if I'm upsetting you I can lea--"
"You're running away."
Dojima winced as it hit right on the spot. "No. I am trying to just make sure you don't--"
"Fly off the handle? Go insane? Do something rash?"
This wasn't the Adachi he's been visiting. He hadn't seen this side of him since he was still back in jail. "Adachi..." He gave a warning tone.
"What? I am speaking the truth aren't I? Every day in here feels like hell. When you don't come here, I..." He cut himself short. Dojima didn't give chase.
A gritting of teeth. "...What do you want me to do to show you that you are wrong. That I trust you. I've been coming here, they let me in this room, without guards, without walls. We sit together by ourselves and talk. What else?"
"Guards are always at the doors. And..." He pulled out the familiar black rectangle. "There are these as well. Don't think I didn't hear that male nurse." It was unnerving. Here after all this time, that side of him still was there. "I want you to give me yours."
The hair on the back of his neck started to feel as though it prickled to the end. "Wh-what?" He his hand toward Adachi, getting flared up and gesturing. "Why- What ... GRAH FINE." Shoving his hand into his pocket he took it out, and flung it over to Adachi. He needed to cool down, so he went to the sink and splashed water on his face, not caring or giving mind what Adachi was thinking of his reactions.
Not a sound was made from the man behind him. Pressing the towel on his face, he turned around, the cold water had helped a bit. "I see your temper isn't any better Dojima."
"Not when I'm getting mind games, of course not." He crossed his arms.
"Come over here."
"Why?"
"Still not convinced. You did that out of anger."
"Adachi. I am godda-"
"Humor me."
Dojima stomped over to the bed. Peering down at Adachi. Only thinking about how much of a child Adachi was being at this moment.
Without word, Adachi's had struck out and grabbed Dojima's collar and yanked, catching Dojima offguard and offbalance as he pulled him down and placed his hand on the side of Dojima's neck. They were face to face, both trying to read each other's eyes. The moment was tense, all self-control was used to keep from the older man raising his hands at that moment, and pulling away. Now, his hands were gripped the sheets, waiting for whatever was to be done.
The hand slid toward the back of his neck, while he felt the other let go of his collar, sliding around to meet the hand, as they wrapped around, bringing Dojima further toward Adachi as the younger man rested his head on his arm. "...Thank you." And he let go.
The older man just... stayed there. Unsure.
Slowly, he pushed on his arms to get himself to upright, his back slightly feeling stiff now. In the patient's hand, the black button was there, offering it back to Dojima. He brought his hand up to Adachi's, and just pushed it away.
"Keep it. I don't need it when I'm visiting someone who trusts me as well."
Dojima sat back down on the chair, gathering up the cards. "Ah.. You had a shitty hand. Next time just say you fold."
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The last line made me chuckle though. Oh Dojima.
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Their visits started to lean toward more friendly, more comfortable with each other despite the few after that had both of them on eggshells. The recent visit he was driving back from left him thinking. He had asked Adachi to tell him about his life, about his past. That he wanted to understand him better.
"No, Dojima." A pained expression. "I don't want you to really know...not yet at least..."
His heart had clenched. He already knew. And he felt as though he betrayed Adachi, after all the trust they displayed each other during these visits, how close that had gotten. "...I'll wait until you are ready." He felt so hollow after those words. They were bitter like stale bile in his throat.
"...I would like to know about you though. About your life."
Dojima just nodded, not even giving rise to it was odd to have someone request this, not even Chisato had. When they did talk about their lives, it just had come up but never a request. He felt like he owed Adachi, for having heard his life behind his back. It wasn't like he had anything terrible to really hide. His growing up wasn't... wasn't Adachi's. Anywhere near it. At all. The guilt made him pour out everything.
So, he told Adachi about his life. When he was young as he could remember, his parents, his sister. The trouble he had in school at times with being stubborn. His Highschool years. How much he didn't want his sister to marry this one guy, and yet she did, and they had Souji. He saw Souji only as a small baby, and from then on, seemed like her and her husband were just too busy, with very few phone-calls. And then he tapped on the work aspect of his life: When he decided to get into the Force, how much trouble it had been, his first arrest, interesting points in the job...
"Why'd you stop there?" He tilted his head, sipping at the water cup.
"Hnn..." Dojima clenched his jaw, eyes falling from their connection.
Adachi just leaned forward, "I want to hear everything, Nanako included..." He looked so serious. "Please don't stop." The sincerity in his voice surprised Dojima, and he just nodded and continued.
"I met Chisato on.. "
The entire time, Adachi just sat there and listened to him. He questioned, getting clarification, making small jokes. Not bored. But he genuinely seemed interested in knowing Dojima better. Honestly, that touched him. The fact someone had requested, and kept urging him on, rather than just politely sitting back and waiting for him to just talk. That someone just really had wanted to know.
Adachi wouldn't let him stop, not until he heard a summary up until his appearance. Even then, he wanted to know what went on. So Dojima told him about how Souji basically gave him a verbal slap in the face, as well as Nanako, about how bad a father he had been.
"I don't blame you. The fact she was the very reminder of... your late wife. Of course it would be hard. And of course you'd feel guilt." Adachi smiled at him, warmly in fact. "You're... a true man. Admitting to your fault. And trying to fix it... er... actually fixing it really." He gave out a nervous laugh. A laugh that had guilt in it.
"Hmph." Dojima just snorted out air in a mild laugh. "A bit late though. I should have done it sooner."
The dark eyes just bore into him. "But you did it, Dojima. You did it before any damage could be done."
Closing his eyes, he gave a nod in a silent agreement. Opening them, he matched the eyes. "...You've done your own good too." A raised eyebrow in response. Adachi was thinking, it was obvious. So Dojima just volunteered, he wasn't playing a guessing game. "It wasn't until you became my partner, that I had begun to laugh again since Chisato's...passing on." The corners of his mouth rose, only slightly.
Adachi sat there, unsure of what to think or how to handle the statement. Dojima swore the man had rosed on his cheeks, his mouth slightly open in disbelief. Dojima just reached over and patted Adachi on the shoulder, getting up to go.
"And you were there to my drunk ass home." His hand returned to Adachi's shoulder, and he gave it a firm squeeze. "Thank you, Adachi." A pause. "I guess I'll see you again soon. Please take care of yourself."
The older man left... And a single tear hit the back of Adachi's hand.
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*were there to take my drunk ass home))
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