(no subject)

[badur]

It was just a phone call, late at night...shock, horror, denial...it should have been me. Months seemed like hours ago he was here in my house, learning from my past, playing with Angi, full of hope, for he was me, the same me that was full of hope years ago, hoping for the future, preparing for the future. The future is now, it is no more, he died in vain, died away from home, his family, his soon to be wife. Hope of family and life of happiness now but a memory, it is past. That was me, it should have been me but for stubborness, and compacency of my own life. I was selfess, looking after myself, refusing to do what I should have been doing, for I wanted more out of life. Like myself, he volunteered, the promise of a future, of finacial rewards, so much like me. But I am here, and he is no more. I don't understand the god......I don't understand. I am angry, I am depressed, I am guilty....I hate...I hate what is, I hate the people that did this, the government that started this, for they were no threat, they were not here, nor involved, but we did it.........we got involved, they do not want us, it isn't our war.
God bless you Jim Martin, God bless you, and rest in peace...I am sorry Jimmy, so sorry......it should have been me..................