Submissive Thoughts
Greetings Everyone,
Here I am bored out of my skull at work so I decided it was long over due for me to update this journal. First off a big welcome to _deviant_ and shecanfloat, stay as long as you like. And a welcome back if you will to the slut_puppies. Hey you two, mi journal y su journal. Always nice to have friends.
Let's see where to begin. Well I guess the obvious thing would be all the sexual thoughts I have running through my head. Now this should not really be a surprise considering I am a healthy male in the USA. But mostly it involves my choice to explore BDSM, and my lack of encounters right now. Being in the small town that I am in hurts my chances to find a Mistress to serve. Of course I am reminded something my friend Mistress Raina told me once, We were talking about sex and she informed me that I would be amazed how many older people are into kinky things. That honestly is not surprising to me, I mean if a couple have a open mind why not explore. I just wish they weren't so damn discrete, or at least give me a sign. The problem now is that I can never find anyone to go out with anyway, then you add on the BDSM factor and any slim chance I had just turned to about the width of a hair. But when has that ever stopped me from trying before.
I remember one evening on the way to work I was listening to Loveline on the radio and Dr. Drew and Adam were trying to figure out why a Dom was they way she was. They couldn't fathom why she enjoyed BDSM, I believe I wrote about this in a earlier post. But I got to wondering what they would say about me if I were to tell of my BDSM aspirations. Now I must say that my childhood was not the greatest sometimes. Mostly the "why can't you be better at this" syndrome from my mother the perfect goddess. I am not going to go into a "bad childhood" rant partly because I believe in the "Conan" philosophy in life. That which does not kill you makes you stronger, and for the record I am sure it was someone else who said that but I first saw it in Conan so there. But I do believe in that philosophy. But even though I have had some bad crap in my childhood I dont really believe that it has caused something to snap in my brain or something like that to cause my interest. Now of course (in my best doctor voice) I could just be denying this or that. But I dont believe so. My submissive interest lies in the fact that my entire purpose will be to serve my Mistress. I maybe repeating myself from an above post but my sexual philosophy is one of giving before receiving. A submissive's entire reason for being is to serve fully the wishes and desires of his or her mistress. And that is exactly what I wish to do, to serve a Mistress and be hers.
As for the dominate aspect I guess I mentioned some of it above, to have someone totally serve you. Well who wouldnt want that, and I can also give pleasure to those girls who are only submissive. Now I admit I wish to begin by being a submissive but I hope to become a switch and learn both sides. Of course whether submissive or dominate, both sides like some pain with their pleasure. I find myself very excited at the thought of being spanked by my Mistress whenever I find her. Once upon a time I did not fully understand why someone would want that. And honestly I admit I still dont know why, but I do find myself wanting to be spanked. I think part is the fact that you are letting your imagination run wild, that you are doing something thought of as forbidden makes it that much more pleasurable. And if I were to find someone and she wished to be spanked than I would be happy to oblige. And what about doing more than spanking, more activities involving pain and pleasure, well as long as my Mistress is careful why not let our imaginations run wild....
Here I am bored out of my skull at work so I decided it was long over due for me to update this journal. First off a big welcome to _deviant_ and shecanfloat, stay as long as you like. And a welcome back if you will to the slut_puppies. Hey you two, mi journal y su journal. Always nice to have friends.
Let's see where to begin. Well I guess the obvious thing would be all the sexual thoughts I have running through my head. Now this should not really be a surprise considering I am a healthy male in the USA. But mostly it involves my choice to explore BDSM, and my lack of encounters right now. Being in the small town that I am in hurts my chances to find a Mistress to serve. Of course I am reminded something my friend Mistress Raina told me once, We were talking about sex and she informed me that I would be amazed how many older people are into kinky things. That honestly is not surprising to me, I mean if a couple have a open mind why not explore. I just wish they weren't so damn discrete, or at least give me a sign. The problem now is that I can never find anyone to go out with anyway, then you add on the BDSM factor and any slim chance I had just turned to about the width of a hair. But when has that ever stopped me from trying before.
I remember one evening on the way to work I was listening to Loveline on the radio and Dr. Drew and Adam were trying to figure out why a Dom was they way she was. They couldn't fathom why she enjoyed BDSM, I believe I wrote about this in a earlier post. But I got to wondering what they would say about me if I were to tell of my BDSM aspirations. Now I must say that my childhood was not the greatest sometimes. Mostly the "why can't you be better at this" syndrome from my mother the perfect goddess. I am not going to go into a "bad childhood" rant partly because I believe in the "Conan" philosophy in life. That which does not kill you makes you stronger, and for the record I am sure it was someone else who said that but I first saw it in Conan so there. But I do believe in that philosophy. But even though I have had some bad crap in my childhood I dont really believe that it has caused something to snap in my brain or something like that to cause my interest. Now of course (in my best doctor voice) I could just be denying this or that. But I dont believe so. My submissive interest lies in the fact that my entire purpose will be to serve my Mistress. I maybe repeating myself from an above post but my sexual philosophy is one of giving before receiving. A submissive's entire reason for being is to serve fully the wishes and desires of his or her mistress. And that is exactly what I wish to do, to serve a Mistress and be hers.
As for the dominate aspect I guess I mentioned some of it above, to have someone totally serve you. Well who wouldnt want that, and I can also give pleasure to those girls who are only submissive. Now I admit I wish to begin by being a submissive but I hope to become a switch and learn both sides. Of course whether submissive or dominate, both sides like some pain with their pleasure. I find myself very excited at the thought of being spanked by my Mistress whenever I find her. Once upon a time I did not fully understand why someone would want that. And honestly I admit I still dont know why, but I do find myself wanting to be spanked. I think part is the fact that you are letting your imagination run wild, that you are doing something thought of as forbidden makes it that much more pleasurable. And if I were to find someone and she wished to be spanked than I would be happy to oblige. And what about doing more than spanking, more activities involving pain and pleasure, well as long as my Mistress is careful why not let our imaginations run wild....