U2
Twain and I have decided to change up the format at bit. Instead of him trashing US bands and me trashing UK bands we'll now feel free to trash any band we like.
What caused this change you may ask? It's simple - we noticed that U2 and Nickleback are neither from the US or the UK. Then we realized the same can be said about a lot of the human shit stains that tone deaf Fedoraheads listen to. So, now we are going to be Assholes Without Borders.
Which brings me to today's topic - U2.
When a band is born awful I have some sympathy for it. Shit happens. You and your friends suck and are just trying to have a good time and then some record producer on bath salts decides you could be the next big thing and suddenly The Dave Matthews Band exists. That's not your fault and I'd cash the checks too.
But what I do hate are bands that could be good, or at least mediocre, but somehow manage to achieve complete and total mind crime. U2 is a prime example of this.
If one were to go back in time and take a look at Boy or Under A Blood Red Sky one might see the seeds of a truly awesome band. A bunch of guys still learning about stuff and trying to make an interesting new sound. Had they kept up like this maybe things would have ended up OK.
Instead, starting with The Joshua Tree and ending with My Own Private Irish Tax Haven, each and every U2 album is worse than the one before. And just how shitty these people are becomes ever more clear. Let's take a look at this quartet of cunts.
Bono - His orginal stage name was "Bono Vox." Imagine the level of douchebaggery invovled in naming yourself "Good Voice." This man is the definition of asshole. I imagine that one day he'll go knocking door to door asking if he can give people some literature about starving gay albinos in Harlem. Pompus, arrogant and full of himself, he is the King Of All Dickheads. Whenever I see a MRA or Nice Guy posting online, I see Bono's face.
The Edge. How the fuck do you make an entire careeer out of playing two chords badly? It's simple, just plug your guitar into a machine that will create so much distortion that nobody can here what you are playing anyway.
Adam Clayton. That guy at the bar who wants to tell you about how much he respects you while he's secretly jerking off under the table.
Larry Mullen Jr. He must be sucking Bono's cock becasue as far as I can tell U2 uses a drum machine and he's just someone who stands behind a drum kit flailing his arms. Rumors suggest he was the inspiration for Milli Vanilli.
These are the four guys who in 2000 annouced they were ""reapplying for the job ... [of] the best band in the world""
If your world is defined as 50 year old dudes still wearing Che Guevera shirts who have broken hearing aids, perhaps that might seem reasonable to you. If not, then fuck off.
The truth is that U2 is simply what happens when Brian Eno and Jann Wenner have a baby.
They are four assholes who fart into microphones so that their flatuence can be sucked into other assholes and impress them.
U2 sucks.
What caused this change you may ask? It's simple - we noticed that U2 and Nickleback are neither from the US or the UK. Then we realized the same can be said about a lot of the human shit stains that tone deaf Fedoraheads listen to. So, now we are going to be Assholes Without Borders.
Which brings me to today's topic - U2.
When a band is born awful I have some sympathy for it. Shit happens. You and your friends suck and are just trying to have a good time and then some record producer on bath salts decides you could be the next big thing and suddenly The Dave Matthews Band exists. That's not your fault and I'd cash the checks too.
But what I do hate are bands that could be good, or at least mediocre, but somehow manage to achieve complete and total mind crime. U2 is a prime example of this.
If one were to go back in time and take a look at Boy or Under A Blood Red Sky one might see the seeds of a truly awesome band. A bunch of guys still learning about stuff and trying to make an interesting new sound. Had they kept up like this maybe things would have ended up OK.
Instead, starting with The Joshua Tree and ending with My Own Private Irish Tax Haven, each and every U2 album is worse than the one before. And just how shitty these people are becomes ever more clear. Let's take a look at this quartet of cunts.
Bono - His orginal stage name was "Bono Vox." Imagine the level of douchebaggery invovled in naming yourself "Good Voice." This man is the definition of asshole. I imagine that one day he'll go knocking door to door asking if he can give people some literature about starving gay albinos in Harlem. Pompus, arrogant and full of himself, he is the King Of All Dickheads. Whenever I see a MRA or Nice Guy posting online, I see Bono's face.
The Edge. How the fuck do you make an entire careeer out of playing two chords badly? It's simple, just plug your guitar into a machine that will create so much distortion that nobody can here what you are playing anyway.
Adam Clayton. That guy at the bar who wants to tell you about how much he respects you while he's secretly jerking off under the table.
Larry Mullen Jr. He must be sucking Bono's cock becasue as far as I can tell U2 uses a drum machine and he's just someone who stands behind a drum kit flailing his arms. Rumors suggest he was the inspiration for Milli Vanilli.
These are the four guys who in 2000 annouced they were ""reapplying for the job ... [of] the best band in the world""
If your world is defined as 50 year old dudes still wearing Che Guevera shirts who have broken hearing aids, perhaps that might seem reasonable to you. If not, then fuck off.
The truth is that U2 is simply what happens when Brian Eno and Jann Wenner have a baby.
They are four assholes who fart into microphones so that their flatuence can be sucked into other assholes and impress them.
U2 sucks.