Choose and Choose Well
It is a truth universally acknowledged that Americans have piss poor taste in music. They also dress like it’s 1999 and eat Crisco for breakfast, but I bear them no ill will for any of this. As a better man than I once said, “they know not what they do”. I think that’s what he said, anyway. You’ll have to forgive me - I don’t come from a country that believes the world was made by a man who lives in a cloud.
I think of the colonies as akin to the portrait of Dorian Gray. Instead of the ravages of age though, the New World reflects the British Isles’ potential for idiocy. When I look at America, I see what a bunch of shallow, mammon-worshipping fuckwits the British might have become - had we kept the founding fathers in our gene pool.
We are an island the size of California, and yet our contribution to popular music is second to none. No other country in the world has produced bands as innovative, consistent and unwilling to sell out. Names like The Beatles, The Who and The Stones, The Sex Pistols, Joy Division and The Smiths. These names all changed the face of music - and there are many more.
America? Even its greatest icons are also-rans. Elvis? As John Lennon said, Presley died when he went into the army - two years after his first record for Sun. Bruce Springsteen? Worshiped in New Jersey, reviled everywhere else. Madonna? 63 years old and apparently made of string, but still making records despite the fact that everyone stopped listening to them in 1992.
And I have to pick one of them for my next column…
Readers, dear readers. Choose away and I shall take the sacred cow to its righteous slaughter.
Poll
I think of the colonies as akin to the portrait of Dorian Gray. Instead of the ravages of age though, the New World reflects the British Isles’ potential for idiocy. When I look at America, I see what a bunch of shallow, mammon-worshipping fuckwits the British might have become - had we kept the founding fathers in our gene pool.
We are an island the size of California, and yet our contribution to popular music is second to none. No other country in the world has produced bands as innovative, consistent and unwilling to sell out. Names like The Beatles, The Who and The Stones, The Sex Pistols, Joy Division and The Smiths. These names all changed the face of music - and there are many more.
America? Even its greatest icons are also-rans. Elvis? As John Lennon said, Presley died when he went into the army - two years after his first record for Sun. Bruce Springsteen? Worshiped in New Jersey, reviled everywhere else. Madonna? 63 years old and apparently made of string, but still making records despite the fact that everyone stopped listening to them in 1992.
And I have to pick one of them for my next column…
Readers, dear readers. Choose away and I shall take the sacred cow to its righteous slaughter.
Poll