Nov 18, 2005 10:07
I don't like being here. I miss my life. I miss walking wherever I want to. I miss having everything firmiliar so near. I miss being able to come and go without telling anyone. I don't like being tempted by all the dead cows they cook every night. I don't like the mean girl at the starbucks here and how she is totally un-friendly and not like the girls at the one by my house. I don't like that my closest friend in the world now has a boyfriend and has not only replaced me, but is chosing to ignore me. I don't like that he is having a great time, and full of relief that I'm gone, while I am sitting here sad every day. I don't liek the fact that I know he slept with his "boyfriend" last night. I don't like the fact that the Palm springs triphist weekend that I was invited to go on several months ago is something that I am now being left out of because he is bringing his new "boyfriend" and totally ignoring my calls. I don't like that he has no feelings for me, or no feelings of loss. I don't like the fact that everyone else thinks it's just grea and they are so cute together. I don't liek the fact that people are talking about me like I'm the jealous ex, when they have NO IDEAH how close we have been and how he compleatly has abandoned me. I don't like the fact that everyone says I need to just forget it or move on. I don't liek that they say that when they really don't understand how much this hurts me. I don't like the fact that I never treated him better and never tried to get him back before this happened. I don't like the fact that I wonder all the time how long they are going to last. I don't like the fact that I ran into a card Zach gave me a month after we started dating that said " i love you" and I started wondering how long it will take before he loves this kid. I don't like the fact that I am stuck here. I don't like my new life. I want to go home, but things have changed, Zach has turned his back on me, and now this is the only place I have. I don't like that.