I don't know the first thing about love...
So I find myself thinking a lot about the past lately. I suppose it could be prompted by my recent graduation from college, the fact that I will be 22 in a couple months, or perhaps the simple fact that reality is beginning to sink in: Life is no longer only about me.
As I walked down the aisle in my cap and gown, I looked over to my family seated high above me in the stands. The first thing I saw were the tears streaming down my mother's face and my father looking a bit choked up as well. To the right of them were my 4 year old twin cousins staring anxiously at everything around them, taking it all in, careful not to miss one detail. Next to them sat my younger brother and cousin, giving me the obnoxious thumbs up approval they love to give. It was that moment that I realized my life would never be the same. I went into college for the simple fact that I wanted to have fun and to continue my life as a teenager. I had no idea what an effect my college career had on my family. I watched their faces as I stood up to move my tassel and decided that I would never forget that moment.
I am no longer a teenager. Every action that I make has a consequence on someone else. I realize that now. Every move that I made while in college...my younger brother was watching, learning. How could I be so blind to that? From now on, I must live my life with others in mind.
Which brings me to my next point...I have been thinking about a certain person that I regrettably broke up with quite a while ago. He always seems to seep into my mind at the weirdest moments. After not thinking about him for the past couple of years, he is all that seems to be in my head now.
I have heard that there is no such thing as a mistake. If that's true, then why have I been obsessing over what I feel to be possibly my biggest one? Why can't I just move on and trust that things happen for a reason...that there is a God and his plans for me will all carry out in time and that I will be happy and content with my life?
I see my ex tomorrow. I am nervous and terrified that he will not see me in the same light that he used to. For now, I must go to bed and trust that life will work itself out.
As I walked down the aisle in my cap and gown, I looked over to my family seated high above me in the stands. The first thing I saw were the tears streaming down my mother's face and my father looking a bit choked up as well. To the right of them were my 4 year old twin cousins staring anxiously at everything around them, taking it all in, careful not to miss one detail. Next to them sat my younger brother and cousin, giving me the obnoxious thumbs up approval they love to give. It was that moment that I realized my life would never be the same. I went into college for the simple fact that I wanted to have fun and to continue my life as a teenager. I had no idea what an effect my college career had on my family. I watched their faces as I stood up to move my tassel and decided that I would never forget that moment.
I am no longer a teenager. Every action that I make has a consequence on someone else. I realize that now. Every move that I made while in college...my younger brother was watching, learning. How could I be so blind to that? From now on, I must live my life with others in mind.
Which brings me to my next point...I have been thinking about a certain person that I regrettably broke up with quite a while ago. He always seems to seep into my mind at the weirdest moments. After not thinking about him for the past couple of years, he is all that seems to be in my head now.
I have heard that there is no such thing as a mistake. If that's true, then why have I been obsessing over what I feel to be possibly my biggest one? Why can't I just move on and trust that things happen for a reason...that there is a God and his plans for me will all carry out in time and that I will be happy and content with my life?
I see my ex tomorrow. I am nervous and terrified that he will not see me in the same light that he used to. For now, I must go to bed and trust that life will work itself out.