something wrong with me...
So.. I find out thru the grapevine that an old ghost in my life has apparently not learned anything from history... and that my old friend from the past just got nailed with a possession of a controlled substance charge.... based on what I know.. this isn't a joint we are talkin about. We are talkin ice... and cops don't play round wit that shit... nor should they.. this shit was a point of contention and a major factor why I walked. in the end I didn't trust her and it turns out my fears were confirmed. But this is not about that.
This is person who's wronged me.. taken advantage and driven me away. The problem is that upon hearing the news... my reaction remains a mixture of sadness and pity and total frustration at her. I don't know why it is... and I'm this way with many things.... anger does not stay in my heart. I'm not angry with her.. I probably should be but its just not there. I'm not helping her in any way.. but part of me thinks I should have a smug sense of satisfaction at her predicament... but all I feel is confused.. How can you continue on like this? Can you NOT see where this path takes you?
I should be angry but all I want is for her to find her own way to the light... we all have demons to deal with and my place is not to sit in judgement. Do not panic... this is not me jumping back into the fire... I'm done..
And I find I am that way with most... wrong me and I will move along... not with anger but pity in my heart... how could you wrong ME??? Obviously you must not know me because if you did.... you would know that I'm the one that will. Be there when all else have gone. You need that person to throw you the lifeline an pull? That's what I am. Perhaps you saw something else but.. your emotions cloud your own vision. In time.. maybe you will see.. but only time can heal you now. And in time should you see that.. seek me out. Ill be here.
Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com
This is person who's wronged me.. taken advantage and driven me away. The problem is that upon hearing the news... my reaction remains a mixture of sadness and pity and total frustration at her. I don't know why it is... and I'm this way with many things.... anger does not stay in my heart. I'm not angry with her.. I probably should be but its just not there. I'm not helping her in any way.. but part of me thinks I should have a smug sense of satisfaction at her predicament... but all I feel is confused.. How can you continue on like this? Can you NOT see where this path takes you?
I should be angry but all I want is for her to find her own way to the light... we all have demons to deal with and my place is not to sit in judgement. Do not panic... this is not me jumping back into the fire... I'm done..
And I find I am that way with most... wrong me and I will move along... not with anger but pity in my heart... how could you wrong ME??? Obviously you must not know me because if you did.... you would know that I'm the one that will. Be there when all else have gone. You need that person to throw you the lifeline an pull? That's what I am. Perhaps you saw something else but.. your emotions cloud your own vision. In time.. maybe you will see.. but only time can heal you now. And in time should you see that.. seek me out. Ill be here.
Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com